“Hey Vanessa,” a friendly voice spoke.
Vanessa jumped, unaware that anyone was out at this time of day.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you,” the neighbor said to her.
“It’s okay. That’s my fault for not paying attention to who was outside. Hi Mr. Tremaine,” Vanessa spoke back nervously.
Tremaine gave her a friendly smile to calm her down. “No need to be so formal. I’m not that much older than you.”
Vanessa looked at the ground and then shook her head. She knew she needed to hurry up and get to the store. The last thing she needed was for Eric to double back home because he forgot something and catch her talking to another man. Regardless if that man was the neighbor. She did not want to get another ass whipping.
“It was good seeing you again, Mr… um… Tremaine. I should go. Enjoy the rest of your day.”
“You do the same,” Tremaine replied. He watched Vanessa as she walked timidly and nervously down the driveway. Even if he didn’t hear the commotion next door periodically, he could tell by the way she carried herself that the lovely couple wasn’t so lovely. Apart of him told him to mind his business. But the better man in him wouldn’t let him live it down if something serious had happened to her because he didn’t intervene to help her. He jogged down the driveway to catch up to her.
“Vanessa! Wait up a second!” he called after her.
Vanessa glanced nervously over her shoulder and then stopped. “Please don’t let Eric have someone out here watching me and they go back and tell him I was talking to this man. Please,” she mumbled to herself.
“I wanted to ask you something. I know you’re in a hurry so I won’t take up too much of your time.” He fell silent as he tried to find his words. Vanessa stared at him wishing he’d hurry up so she could go on about her business. Finally, Tremaine just spit it out. “My wife and I were wondering if everything was okay with you in that house.”
Vanessa knew what he was talking about and fidgeted for a moment. She had hoped for a long time that the neighbors could not hear the way Eric was beating her ass in that house for the last year and a half.
“What do you mean?” she stammered.
“I don’t mean to intrude, it’s just my wife told me that she could hear…”
“Hear what?” Vanessa interrupted him, feeling even more embarrassed.
Tremaine sighed, “Vanessa, you can try to hide the black eyes and the bruises on your face when you leave out of the house, but Camille and I know. And we’ve known for quite some time now. We hear how he beats you over there and for a while…”
Vanessa began walking away. “I have to go.”
Tremaine gently grabbed Vanessa’s arm and reflex, along from the expectation of getting hit from all of the times that Eric grabbed her by the arm, caused her to flinch as though she was protecting herself against being struck in the face. Tremaine let her arm go feeling sorry as he saw the fear in the young woman’s face and how easily her eyes became teary. He knew at that moment that Vanessa was living in constant fear.
“Vanessa…” Tremaine said softly. “My wife and I just want to help you.”
“If you really want to help me, just let me go on about my business. Please. If Eric catches me out here talking to you…” she said in a whisper before trailing off.
“Maybe my wife can speak with you…” Tremaine insisted.
“I really have to go,” Vanessa turned away from him and hurried down the street to head over to Shop Rite inside of the Cheltenham Mall. She picked out the items she needed to fix dinner for her and Eric that night and then went over to the aisle where she found the pregnancy tests. She grabbed two and threw them in the basket with the other items before hurrying over to a cashier.
No matter where Vanessa went, she was always nervous and afraid that she was being watched. Eric had warned her numerous times that she had better watch what she was doing when she wasn’t in his presence because he always had people watching her. She looked nervously over her shoulder, hoping that there wasn’t anyone watching her and saw her purchasing a pregnancy test. She didn’t want anyone telling Eric before she had a chance to tell him.
Vanessa noticed a man standing by a rack filled with various magazines. She began to wonder if he was watching her for Eric. He gave her a friendly smile. She waved at him tentatively and began placing her items on the counter.
“Jeez Louise, you need to chill, honey. The man was just checking you out. You keep acting looney and folks are gonna start thinking you a little loca,” the voice in her head said.
“Hush, damn it,” Vanessa mumbled under her breath.
“You say something, sweetheart?” the cashier asked Vanessa as she looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
“Nothing,” Vanessa mumbled. She let out a deep sigh and shook her head. “See… told ya!” the voice taunted.
“I didn’t get much sleep last night and I’m just saying out loud what I picked up to make sure I got everything,” Vanessa lied. She tried to relax a little but the idea that she was talking to herself in public was not sitting well with her.
“Oh don’t worry. Chile sometimes, I’m so tired I start seeing shit. I start ducking shit that don’t even be flying towards me.” The two ladies laughed together as the cashier continued ringing her items up.
“Oh my, now that would be funny,” Vanessa giggled. She swiped her debit card and paid for her items.
The cashier handed her a receipt. “Get some sleep, sweetheart, and enjoy the rest of your day.”
“Thank you, you do the same,” Vanessa replied with a genuine smile. She left the store with a bit more pep in her step and feeling upbeat.
“Is it true that when kicked down, a kind word or gentle smile can help you stand again? Friends become strangers while strangers become friends. Love turning into hate and vice versa in the end?” Vanessa mused. And this time it wasn’t the “she” inside of her head. “I think I might write that down when I get in the house,” she said aloud, not at all bothered by the sound of her voice.
Vanessa was definitely feeling better by that small, friendly exchange at the market. She walked in the house and began putting the food away when she came across the pregnancy tests. Worry and fear washed over her as she remembered her main reason for going to the store in the first place.
“Back to life… back to reality…” the voice sang in her head.
Vanessa picked the test up and looked at it, suddenly feeling the urge to use the bathroom. She decided she might as well get it over with rather than drive herself even crazier thinking about the what-ifs.
She read the instructions and followed them, waiting for what seemed like an eternity for the test results to come back and let her know what the woman within already knew.
When the five long waited minutes had finally passed by, she picked up the two tests from off of the counter, taking them both just to be sure. She looked from one test to the other, shaking her head in disbelief.
“I’m pregnant…” she mumbled. She stared at the pregnancy tests as if they would burn a hole in her retinas. She continued to stare feeling as though eternity was right around the corner.
“What am I going to do?” she asked out loud.
“Bitch, are you stupid? Talking about ‘what I’ma do?’ You better fucking run! Because Eric will kill your ass if you don’t…”
The voice was silenced by the doorbell ringing. Vanessa jumped, damn near letting a scream escape from her mouth. She was startled by the sound of the doorbell interrupting the silence in the house. She hurriedly grabbed all of the items from the pregnancy tests and ran down the stairs. She stuffed everything under much of the trash in the kitchen’s trashcan and then took a deep breath before walking over to the front door.
“Who is it?” she asked politely.
“Hi Vanessa, it’s Camille from next door…” a friendly female voice said from the other side of the door.
Vanessa hesitated, not knowi
ng what to say. “Can I help you?” she replied through the door.
“I was hoping we could talk… maybe inside. Or you could come over to my place…” Camille said back. She looked at her husband and shrugged her shoulders. Though she wanted to help Vanessa as well, she wasn’t about to make a fool out of herself talking through a door. She was about to give up and walk away when she heard the door unlock and creak open. She turned back around and smiled at Vanessa.
“Hi Ms. Camille,” Vanessa replied. There was an awkward silence as Vanessa weighed her options. Eric wasn’t due home until almost 6 o’clock and it was barely noon. She didn’t see the harm in letting her in the house. After all, it wasn’t like the night before with the insurance sales guy.
“Yeah, Eric catch your ass in here with that damn woman and he might be on some bullshit, accusing you of having a lesbian affair and then beat your ass for that. I wouldn’t put it past him,” the voice in her head smirked. Vanessa took a deep breath and closed her eyes briefly to keep from speaking out loud against that voice.
“Come on in,” she said to Camille, opening the door wider for her. Camille walked inside and Vanessa shut and locked the door behind her. She then led her to the kitchen. “Would you like a cup of coffee or some tea?”
“Coffee is good. Thank you, sweetie,” Camille replied.
Vanessa put on a pot of coffee as an awkward silence filled the kitchen. She sat down at the counter across from Camille with their mugs of coffee, a small bowl of sugar and a container of cream.
“So what brings you by today, Mrs. Camille?” she asked, breaking the silence.
“Oh please, call me Camille,” she took a sip from her mug as she tried to choose her words carefully. “Well, to be honest with you, Vanessa, I had been wanting to come over here for quite some time, but I just wasn’t sure when would be the right time and I didn’t want to seem intrusive.” Camille looked up from her mug at Vanessa as though she was studying her facial expression. She could tell that Vanessa was not only afraid, but nervous as well. She cleared her throat and continued. “Both Tremaine and I are worried about you, forgive my bluntness. We can hear what’s going on over here, the way Eric beats you and honey, we are worried.” She took a hold of Vanessa’s hands to stop her from fidgeting. Vanessa bit her bottom lip to fight back the tears.
“I know it is so easy for a person on the outside to ask you why you have not left him yet. Trust me, I know. It is much easier said than done. But you are much too young, too smart and too precious to just allow a man to beat on you. God did not put you on this Earth to be that man’s punching bag. You’ve got to get out while you can before something irreparable happens to you!” Camille told Vanessa as she squeezed her hands.
Vanessa sniffed as the tears fell. “If God didn’t put me on this Earth to be a punching bag, why is He allowing this to happen to me?” she asked as her voice cracked. “Why is this happening to me? What did I do?”
“Oh Vanessa…” Camille started to say.
“No, you don’t understand! Every day, I’m afraid to speak too scared that he might slap me or punch me or choke me until I pass out. You talk about God as if I don’t know God. But for the last two years almost, it feels like God doesn’t love me.”
“He does love you, baby. Trust me, God loves you very much. This is a test sweetie, that’s all. It’s a test of your strength, it’s a test of your will and a test of your love for Him,” Camille said to Vanessa.
“Ha!” Vanessa laughed sarcastically. “Then that makes God no different than Eric. He’s making me go through this abuse as a way to make me show how much I love Him. How is that any different than the reasoning behind why Eric beats me?”
Camille was silent for a moment as she thought over what Vanessa said. “I know it may seem that way. But believe me when I tell you that God gives you signs to let you know if a situation or a person is right for you and it’s up to you to see those signs, understand them and then do what needs to be done to avoid harm. Yes, God will wrap you in His arms and cover you with love and protection. But you have to do what’s necessary, you understand me? God puts people in your life for two reasons. Some are placed in your life as blessings, and some as lessons. But you have to be open to the lessons and the blessings and take the right things from each!
“Now I would like to think that today, He woke me up with the courage to speak His word to you, to give you the courage to stand up, Queen! Stand up, Queen! Walk out of here with your head held high, your shoulders back, your dignity and pride and strength in tack, and say I am mother of all things on this Earth and will not be disrespected or harmed by no man!
“A man is supposed to stand by your side and love and protect you and honor you. Not beat you, and leave you broken and defeated!” Camille continued to minister to Vanessa.
For the first time in a long time, Vanessa felt stronger than she had felt since before the first day Eric first put his hands on her. Everything Camille was saying to her, resonated throughout her body. She swallowed back her tears.
“Where would I go though? I don’t have much money and he knows where my mother lives and knows who all of my friends are, the few that I have left since I started dealing with him. I have no brothers and sisters. I don’t have anywhere to go.”
“You leave that to me and Tre’, honey.” Camille stood up and took a business card out of her back pocket. “I want you to take this card. There is a woman named Marcella that I want you to call. You speak to her and speak to her only. And when you do, let her know Cammie and Tre’ sent you to her and she’ll take care of the rest.”
Vanessa looked at the card for a moment without saying anything. “Now, you mean leave now?” she asked as she looked up at Camille.
“No, unfortunately, Marcella doesn’t get in until after 6pm. But if you are ready to leave tonight, what time does Eric get home?”
“He gets home just after 6pm,” Vanessa replied as her heart raced.
“Okay, Tremaine will knock on the door to show Eric his “man-cave” in the basement. They’ve talked to each other about it over the last couple of months and it’s finally finished. Knowing how men are, not to mention all of the cool electronics and technology Tre’ has in the basement as well as how it’s set up, I’m sure we can steal him away for a good hour. And that’s when you run. You run and run as fast as you can. Don’t take any clothes with you, don’t take any shoes or anything with you. Not even your debit card in case he tries to track you down through your purchases and ATM withdraws. Just you and the clothes on your back. No matter how hard it gets, no matter how tired you get, no matter how much the devil creeps in your mind and starts to fill it with BS lovey-dovey memories to get you to miss him and lead you back to the abuse, you keep running. You understand me?” Camille said firmly.
Vanessa nodded her head as she tucked the card in her back pocket. She then remembered the new pregnancy that she was dealing with. “I’m pregnant!” she blurted out.
Camille stared at her for a moment and then cursed under her breath. “How attached are you to this pregnancy?” she asked.
“What do you mean? Like, are you suggesting that I get an abortion?!” Vanessa asked feeling horrified.
“No, not at all. I just don’t want to have Marcella put herself under fire to help you escape and then you start contemplating what kind of family you might have had and let that be something that leads you back to the abuse,” Camille explained.
“Oh no, if you have a means to free me from this man, I’ll take the help and never look back,” Vanessa said quickly.
“Do you understand what I mean when I say run and never look back?” Camille asked Vanessa.
“Well… I think I do,” she replied hesitantly. “Run and never come back to Eric.”
Camille took a deep breath and placed her hands on Vanessa’s shoulders, staring at her intently. “Sweetie, what I mean is, you will have to sever ties with everyone. It’s the only way to ensure your safety and not compromis
e the network and any other battered women who have been helped with leaving their abusers. Is that something you can handle?”
Vanessa froze. “Leave my whole life behind? My friends, my mom… Arianna… Could I really just walk away from them like that?” Vanessa thought to herself.
“Shit, you better rethink this, Vanessa. I mean, maybe if you just tell Eric that you’re pregnant, he’ll come to his senses and keep his hands off of you for the sake of the baby. But leaving your family behind, shit if you thought talking to yourself was crazy… this is fucking nuts!”
Out of frustration, Vanessa let out an aggravated grunt. “Shush!” she said aloud. Camille looked at her confused. Vanessa tried to calm herself as she thought over what Camille said.
“If this isn’t something you can deal with, you can always try calling the police, filing for a restraining order and go stay with friends or family until you guys go to court,” Camille suggested.
Vanessa laughed, “A lot of his good buddies are cops. So that won’t work,” she shook her head. “No, this works. If I can get away from him and keep this baby safe in the process, I’m with it.”
“Okay. So tonight I’m going to be in my garden tending to my rose bushes. When I see Tre’ taking Eric down in the basement, I’ll flag you to leave out of the back. You don’t have to worry about contacting me to let me know you got to Marcella safely. She will contact me to let me know. But go straight to her. No pit stops, no cell phone, nothing. You understand?”
“Yes Mrs. Camille,” Vanessa said as she nodded her head. Camille came around the counter and hugged Vanessa tightly.
“Everything is going to be okay, sweetie. Just trust God. Trust that he will never leave you or forsake you. He will see you through this, okay?”
Vanessa cried as she held Camille and nodded her head, too choked up to verbalize how grateful she was that Camille and Tremaine cared enough to help her get away from Eric.
Camille left and went to her house. Vanessa paced around for the rest of the afternoon, nervous as a cow in a meat factory. It seemed like time moved slower than usual and 6pm was never going to get here. She wasn’t sure if she was feeling butterflies in her stomach from being so anxious to finally be escaping from Eric’s abuse, or if the morning sickness was a silly name for something that doesn’t just happen in the morning.
Love's Deadly Masquerade Page 5
