Sometimes I wish we had traveled more, but there was no way I would have ever asked Aaron to get on an airplane. He really was afraid of flying, and I am a fatalist. I never would have forgiven myself if something had happened to him on a plane that I pressured him into boarding.
We once took a Princess Cruise to Mexico. This was back before anybody knew what a Princess Cruise was. Dean Martin didn’t want us to go. He offered to buy me a brand-new Rolls-Royce if I would let his friend Aaron skip the cruise and stay home with him. I turned down the car. It had been too long since I had been anywhere outside of Los Angeles with my husband.
Sometimes I find myself thinking about what terrible shape Club View Drive was always in. Club View Drive is the street that ran along the west side of our house. It was uneven and had quite a few potholes that never got filled in. When I think about it, it really is a wonderful metaphor for life. There are no guarantees, and there are always obstacles you need to get around.
My biggest obstacle was the identity The Manor had built for me. The public wasn’t my problem. I had to divest myself from being the Lady of the Manor and believe in myself the same way I had believed in Aaron all those years ago. I also had to take some emotional risks to create opportunities for myself. In the last few years, I have really challenged myself and gotten out of my comfort zone.
It all started with Bank of Hollywood, a show I almost turned down because I was scared to try something new. Since then, I have created many opportunities for myself, and I hope to find many more. Writing books, producing plays, and traveling have all been wonderful, but there is one opportunity I am particularly grateful for. It has come late in the game, but it is without question my biggest treasure. Finally, at long last, it is the chance for me to just be Candy.
“The House That Built Me”
I know they say you can’t go home again.
I just had to come back one last time.
Ma’am I know you don’t know me from Adam.
But these handprints on the front steps are mine.
And up those stairs, in that little back bedroom
is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar.
And I bet you didn’t know under that live oak
my favorite dog is buried in the yard.
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here it’s like I’m someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself
if I could just come in I swear I’ll leave.
Won’t take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.
Mama cut out pictures of houses for years.
From Better Homes and Garden magazines.
Plans were drawn, concrete poured,
and nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to Mama’s dream.
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I’m someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself.
If I could just come in I swear I’ll leave.
Won’t take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.
You leave home, you move on and you do the best you can.
I got lost in this whole world and forgot who I am.
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here it’s like I’m someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself.
If I could walk around I swear I’ll leave.
Won’t take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.
Acknowledgments
Writing this memoir was an epic journey, and it took an entire team to nourish the creation of this book. I am privileged to have had the dedicated and enthusiastic support of Florence Grace, who spearheaded this project from its very inception, weathering the magical highs and frustrating lows of the writing process with me.
My editor, Christina Roth, and Turner Publishing should be recognized for their bravery in embracing a project they did not start in a publishing landscape that is vastly different from what it was just five years ago when I wrote my first book.
My agent, Steve Troha, deserves major credit for believing in me. I would also like to thank Stephanie Gertler for getting me started on my walk down memory lane. Creating a book of this nature was a learning process. I was fortunate to have Brenda Arechiga, my own personal flashlight along this journey’s path.
Of course, I never would have had the courage to sit down and produce this memoir were it not for the influence of Ryan Seacrest and Stuart Krasnow, who together gave me a voice and educated me in the production of reality television. Both Craig Zadan and Neil Meron have not only believed in my talents but also put me on the path to building a life as a single, independent, creative woman, nurturing me to become a successful Broadway producer.
I consider myself fortunate to work with my attorney, Larry Marks. My assistants Jennifer Peterson and Stephanie DeLoach deserve recognition for assembling the complex puzzle of facts necessary to create a time line for the book and also for the patience they show me every day.
Candy Spelling
is the widow of Aaron Spelling, mega-Hollywood producer of hit TV series such as Dynasty, Charlie’s Angels, and Beverly Hills 90210. The New York Times bestselling author of Stories from Candyland, she is the mother of TV star Tori Spelling, bestselling author of Spelling It Like It Is, uncharted terriTORI, sTORI telling, and Mommywood. Candy has produced the award-winning Broadway musicals Promises, Promises, How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, Nice Work If You Can Get It, and After Midnight. She appears regularly on national broadcast media including Good Morning America, Today, The View, and The Early Show and blogs for the Huffington Post and other online media.
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