by Derek Palmer
First, I had tried to observe everything I hadn't noticed before about the village. Thus far, I had already seen that the common living standard here was much better than anything I had seen in those villages I had visited, maybe excluding the biggest one at the end of my trip with the Guardians. Yes, these women had everything nicely set up and working - but not much privacy. In a way I could understand that, since without any males around there probably hadn't been much need for that. On the other hand, the women I had met hadn't been especially shy and they had had no problems in having sex in front of other women. Maybe I'd also get used to it, if they'd allow me to stay here.
I closed my eyes and tried to ignore all the activity close to me and concentrate on the living things further away. All the stir close to me seemed to make my efforts almost useless, but I didn't want to give up and gradually I was able to push most of the close activity aside and concentrate on some living things higher up on the hills - only to figure out that most likely there were some more women on their ponies. I let out a groan of frustration and jumped a bit when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
""Are you okay?""
I didn't know the woman who had come to me, but I remembered that she had been sitting behind Mylaela in the room during my interrogation. I had no idea how much time had passed, but when I looked at the direction of the sun I noticed that I had spent some time in trying to make my sensing better - without much luck.
""Yes, I am. Thank you. Just tired and deep in my thoughts.""
""Good. Will you follow me, please.""
I had no idea if it was a good or a bad thing that they had sent someone who was a stranger to me to bring me back inside. Or perhaps it didn't mean anything. I'd know soon enough. All the women were staring at me when I sat back in my chair behind the desk. At least they didn't kick me out immediately.
""Thank you, Stian, for your patience. On behalf of our community, I want to sincerely apologize to you for the way you were treated the day you arrived at our valley. We consider ourselves civilized beings and an attempt to kill visitors that come to us, nonthreatening and searching for sanctuary, can hardly be considered civilized. I hope you accept our apology.""
My mind was running hundreds of leagues in a blink of an eye when I tried to understand the meaning of what was just said. Their spokeswoman was apologizing to me! I was confused but I did my best to not let it show.
""I do accept your apology and I also do believe that it's sincere.""
The response I gave was semi-automatic and I felt a twinge in my heart when I remembered where it came from: It had been one of the responses to official apologies in my mother's stories. From the change of Mylaela's expression, I could tell that she also registered my response even if she didn't say anything about it.
""Very well then, this issue is considered settled and we may proceed with the next one. Stian, please remain seated since this issue also involves you. Please, bring them in.""
Only then I noticed that there were two empty seats on the left side of the room and some empty space around them. I was still a bit confused since nothing had been mentioned about me staying here - but neither had they said anything about expelling me. That line of thought was stopped when I noticed the two young women who were escorted to the empty seats. I remembered those faces much too well. Two faces full of hatred looking at me. Two crossbows releasing their arrows towards me. I remembered the pain. I could still feel some of it.
Now I was again looking at them. Now I wasn't able to see the hatred anymore, but for sure there was no love between us since their looks were as expressionless as you could imagine. Unfortunately, there weren't so many things that I could think of which might be able to generate that much hatred. I guess that my hate towards Trolls somewhat matched their hate towards me.
""Leilatha and Shalana, you are here in front of us because the two you failed to act according to the responsibility given to you. Do you deny it?""
The following two 'Nos' were said without any real visible emotion. It was like they had given up all fight, for now. I guessed that it made some sense not to show your hate to the Elders.
""Besides, you should be aware that we still have those stones in place and it could have been because of them that Stian, son of Dagfinn and Helle, could have come to ask for sanctuary among us. Had you managed to kill him, my only option - according to the old rules we promised to abide by - would have been to make you two face the Ugly People. That is how it has been stated in that agreement made back then. Before either of you protest, I want to remind you that even if some other beings may not honor the old promises made, we have never failed to do so, and we will not start while I'm the spokeswoman.""
From the gasp that followed her statement, I could only assume that the punishment she mentioned would have been something terrifying. Well, if it included the Trolls, I could believe that. According to the stories my mother told me, the Elves and Trolls weren't in the best possible terms - and yet they lived here in adjacent valleys.
""However, since Stian survived, and as he formally accepted our apology there will be no further action against you. I still want to remind all the people here that we have offered sanctuary to all those people who are able read the stones and therefore come here. Besides that, Stian, son of Dagfinn and Helle, was at least once before asked to come to visit us. As long as I'm the spokeswoman we Alfar are the ones who honor the agreements.""
No action against them? Even if I almost died? If I hadn't been concentrating on keeping my expression totally neutral, I'm certain that the shock I was feeling could have been plainly seen. Now, all that could be seen was that my eyebrows must have moved a bit and when I looked around the room I was able to see Bellcauniel looking at me. As soon as our gazes met, I could almost feel that she wanted me to be there and sit still. A part of me wanted to start up and shout and complain about their lack of justice. I sat still. I had just been promised that I should be safe here. It seemed that I should be happy with that.
When I looked around again I could see several pairs of eyes locked on me, including the eyes of their spokeswoman. I cleared my throat and stood up.
""Valued spokeswoman, ladies. Like I said before, I accepted your apology and I have no claims towards anyone. I know that I'm a stranger to your habits and I'm grateful for the possibility to stay here for the time being. As soon as I'm well enough, I hope that I'm able to start working for the common benefit in whatever position you see fit.""
Okay, that was more than a bit thick, but somehow I had a feeling that right now my options were a bit limited. I had no idea how they reacted to my little speech, since I had kept my gaze on their spokeswoman, Mylaela. Was that a small smile that crossed her lips? No, probably not. However, she nodded at me.
""Thank you, Stian.""
When I carefully looked around, I was able to see that the worried look in Bellcauniel's face had eased a bit. Not much, but a bit. Thanks a lot, maybe she could have warned me at least a bit about what was going to happen.
I was about to leave the room and go sulk and be on my own when I was stopped at the door with a hand on my shoulder. I was almost sure that it was Bellcauniel and I was ready to snap at her, when I realized that the person who stopped me wasn't Bellcauniel, but Immianthe, the second spokeswoman. The embarrassment must have been evident on my face, as she looked apologetic.
""May I ask you to stay a moment, Stian?""
""Of course, valued spokeswoman.""
""Please, call me Immianthe. The meeting is over and I'm not really happy being the second spokeswoman any longer than necessary.""
""Sure... Immianthe.""
""I know that you didn't tell us everything about yourself. I can't really blame you for that, but maybe we both will learn some trust with time.""
""Maybe. I hope so.""
She showed me a chair in the front of the room and then she sat herself next to me. Then she turned to me and looked straight in my eyes.
""Be
llcauniel and Fainauriel convinced me that I should be able to trust you. I wasn't all that sure myself, but we would have had to follow that old ruling if that had turned out to be necessary. Luckily it wasn't.""
""If I had died, there would have been no need to have this discussion - and most likely no need to punish anybody.""
It was only a flash on her face but I saw that I had had it right. So much for mutual trust. Immianthe didn't even look embarrassed when she shrugged.
""Maybe. There aren't so many of us that we can afford losing any more of us.""
""That's one reason why you need me.""
She didn't comment or say anything to that.
""Your presence here can cause some problems that we haven't had before and we have not yet agreed on how to address them.""
""You mean that you need to keep your little community working and there'll be problems if too many of you are having a baby at the same time.""
""Like you'd know something about it!""
Now it was my turn to shrug.
""In fact I do, quite a lot. It wasn't so many years ago when I was helping my neighbor and my former fiancée to take care of her younger siblings.""
I guess that I shouldn't have been surprised, but yet I was. Only when I started thinking about it, things started to make some sense. The incident that had brought the Elves - and Trolls - to our world had happened quite a long time ago. Maybe even the Elves would forget things with time. Besides that, they probably had nobody from whom to ask for help. I almost smiled. It could be bad enough with one crying baby but with several of them... Okay, I did smile a bit.
""Immianthe, I'm quite willing to share everything I know about taking care of babies and children. After all, they're all my babies, too.""
After my discussion with Immianthe it was clear to me that it would take some time before I'd be a fully accepted member of their society, if ever. Nothing was said about what I could and couldn't do; where I could go and where I couldn't go. I already understood that I probably wasn't all that welcome at any other living quarters.
I was holding little Elarinya in my lap when we were sitting outside in the shadow of a big oak tree. Bellcauniel had just finished breastfeeding her and I had made the little girl burp before she fell asleep in my lap. It had been two days since the meeting in which they decided that I’d be allowed to stay. As soon as I had promised to share my secrets about taking care of babies, I had been questioned, again and again. The new things that I had been able to tell them hadn't really been that big, but especially one of them had some serious impact.
I had been able to remember that while Thyra had been small, Saga's mother had avoided all spicy foods. She had been talking with my mother and said that it didn't necessarily make the baby sleep better, but some of the babies might get cranky if the mother wasn't careful with her food. I had noticed that the food the people ate here was quite tasty - I liked it a lot - but all the spices might cause some crankiness to the breast-fed babies. Surprisingly, that had worked and I had taken one step forward in being more accepted. Yet, I felt that there still was a mountain to climb.
""We voted about you, Stian. Even if they know that right now you're the only person we know that might make the difference between perdition and survival.""
I was able to sense the disapproval in her voice. I looked at the woman next to me and she still looked a bit uneasy. I had sensed from Fainauriel and Bellcauniel that things hadn't really gone the way they had hoped, but neither of them had said anything. Not before this.
""How close was it?""
""The vote was even.""
I have to admit, that shocked me, too. Now I understood the discomfort my friends had been feeling. I raised my eyebrows a bit since I got a feeling that she wanted to say more.
""It was Mylaela who made the decision, and she made it partly because she's the one who knows the old agreements and she wants to follow the rules. Many of the others... they were afraid of you. Afraid because of the change that you bring with you. Even if they know that it's not possible, they carry on hope that somebody will come and help us back to our old home - and therefore they resist all changes. Fuck, they were old maids back there and they are old maids here. Screw them!""
Bellcauniel was angry in a way I had never seen before. In a way, it was fascinating to notice how the Old Language was almost crunching in her mouth when she used it with such feeling, but without magic.
""Do you really want me to do that? Screw them, I mean?""
I kept my voice light but I made sure to deliver an image of two of two bodies together, doing it, with passion. Now, when I was getting stronger day by day, it also became easier for me to use the Old Language this way. I already knew that this kind of usage was considered totally improper and rude, which didn't stop the people here from doing it occasionally. They just did it with minor hints and hidden agendas. Me, not so hidden.
Bellcauniel was almost ready to snap me when the full effect of my words hit her at the end of my question, just as I had planned. Then her eyes got big and she let out a little laugh.
""You bastard! Okay, I probably deserved that. Look - I just wanted you to know that you need to be careful, since there are some of us who might want to use any possible excuse in order to get rid of you. Luckily you just made it more difficult for them by volunteering to help with the babies.""
""Why are they so afraid of me? There are hundreds of you and just one me? Killing me would be easy.""
""Would it? The Trolls tried, that beast tried, your fellow humans tried and we tried. Somehow you always made it. But that's not the reason - they are afraid because you are different.""
""Because I can do magic?""
""No, because of the way you do magic.""
The look on my face must have shown her that I had no idea what she was talking about. Absolutely no idea. I shook my head, not really knowing what to say.
""I don't understand. Don't I do the magic just like you do? At least I'm not doing it the way the Magicians do.""
Bellcauniel shook her head a bit.
""Stian, did you speak the Old Language when you created your first droplets and threads? Some of the Elders had a fit when they understood that you weren't speaking the Old Language when you started using your magic. Then there is that ability of yours to sense life forms from a distance, which is almost unheard of. They are afraid of you because you can do things they didn't know were possible.""
It was like a hit to my guts or a strike by lightning.
""But I have no idea about it... I mean, I don't know about doing this magic and I came here because I hoped that you people could help me...""
Bellcauniel put her hand over mine.
""I know that, Stian, I know. Unlike some of them, I don't think that we Alfar have all the knowledge about magic and how to do it. Just because the Magicians here do their magic by gathering power inside them and releasing it by yelling something that resembles the Old Language doesn't mean to me that they'd do the magic like we do. Magic may be common, but the ways to access it may differ and your magic doesn't make you a bad person.""
I forced myself to calm down. It had felt such a great idea to hide from the prying Guardians and possible fortune hunters with the Elves - The Alfar. No risks and all the benefits - right. I had almost gotten myself killed and now I had heard that it had been a hairbreadth decision that I was allowed to stay here. For sure, many of the people would not have cried if I had been killed. But I was alive, I was young - and I was allowed to stay. Now, it was up to me what I was going to do about it.
Bellcauniel had been looking at me - she was able to see how I calmed myself down.
""Some of those people don't have children and, for sure, they don't remember what it was like to be young. They also concentrated on other things back then when Verya and the others were young. Now they still don't want to believe that our survival also depends on them...""
That made me open my ears. She was referring
to some history that had happened so long ago that it was like a fairy tale to most humans, but she had lived through the period. Just like all of them. Yet nobody wanted to speak about it.
From bits and pieces, I had been able to figure out that a whole lot of people: humans, Elves and Trolls, had been transferred from their world to ours in one catastrophic event. Now the Elves were living in isolation in this valley and the Trolls were living in another valley - but what had happened to the humans? I only knew that it had been something bad that had happened and there was very little mutual trust left, if any. Finding out more about those things would be high on my list.
""How many of you Alfar are here, living in this valley? Or is that something I'm not allowed to know?""
It was clear that my question bothered her. Even if I had never raised cattle, I knew the basics about the business and my father had made it clear to me what troubles there would be if you hunted the game too much. If the population was too thin and scarce, there would be problems. In case of game, the situation would probably correct itself in time when the nearby herds would move to the area. With cattle that was up to the stockbreeder to take care of that. With people - or Elves - it was a lot more complicated. The look on Bellcauniel's face confirmed that.
