by Derek Palmer
I continued working in the Library while taking occasional courses. Even if I felt that most of those courses were useless, I needed to maintain my cover. Maybe the most painful thing was the way the other students ignored me because I was working at the Dark Floor of the Library - and therefore I had to be a friend of the Magic students. Well, at least there wouldn't be any friends to abandon when I finished here. At least both Elise and Alva seemed to be pregnant and I knew that Elise would have new people in the house as soon as I was gone. We had agreed that, in order to protect both me and these new people, they would not see me or notice my connection to Elise. In fact, for some months I was already using the hidden entrance, even when I was sure that nobody was paying any attention to me. After all, if the worst happened and I got caught, I didn't want anything to happen to Elise and Alva or the babies they were carrying.
I barely saw Rudolf anymore, and when I did see him, he looked older and even more resigned. Instead of Rudolf, some new Magicians were seen in the Library more and more and I made the decision that I would make my move immediately after the winter solstice. If things were at all the same as they used to be, I should have the time to finish what I had planned to do.
I had also been collecting some cigarette butts those asshole students had left behind. I had been experimenting with them, and I knew that, if used correctly, they could start a fire quite a long time after they had been smoked. Like I said, I would need to cover my tracks.
The solstice and the following new year celebration at Elise's house was bittersweet. While I had met them by a lucky accident, they had become a real family to me; a family that didn't judge me because of what I was, or what I planned to do. Most likely it would be years before I would see them once I left. We had some plans for staying in contact and doing some business together in the future, but the truth was that it would take me and my real family some years to get that business running to the point we could do it at Aston - if we'd ever come back here. We needed to find the right people first, and they weren't here anymore.
The surprise came during the afternoon of my second working day after the holidays, on the third day of the new year.
"Oh, I guess you must be that Stian who used to work with Rudolf. I'm so very sorry to tell you that Rudolf had an accident, a very, very bad accident indeed, during the holidays and he's not coming back, ever."
It was that younger Magician whose name I didn't know. Most likely he felt no obligation to tell his name to some lowly servant like me. The look on his face told me that he wasn't at all sorry about Rudolf, but merely amused. Besides that, there was something in his voice, that told me that he probably had something to do with Rudolf’s accident. I didn't say anything, but just raised my gaze and looked at him trying to look as innocuous as I could. Like that would have mattered to him at all.
"Partly because of his accident, we now need you to explain your work to me and my assistant, Rurik. If you do that quickly and efficiently, you'll get the full week pay before you leave."
There was something in the way he said the word 'leave' which told me that my leave would most likely be very permanent and that it would not mean just on this Dark Floor. I looked at the young Magician and Rurik who was standing partly behind him and there was nothing friendly in their eyes when they looked at me. I guess that getting me this job had been more than enough to pay back the help I had once offered Rurik and I had only myself to blame that I still was working here. I blinked my eyes a few times and licked my lips nervously before nodding.
"Oh, sure. Of course... Please follow me while I explain the things I'm doing here."
"Great, great. The sooner we get this mess cleared out the sooner you, Stian, are able to leave. What do you think, Rurik?"
There was nothing friendly anymore in Rurik's laughter. Nothing at all.
--
Chapter 28
Patience. How I had hated that word. I had also learned to hate those students who studied to become a Magician. Not all of them were bad, it was only the huge majority that ruined the reputation for all of them. All the time I had studied and worked here on the Dark Floor of the Library, I had been patient. Now I knew almost all the books that were there; and, more importantly, I had learned to know the location of all the important books. Well, of those important to me, at least - most of which I had already smuggled out of the Library. I still liked books, but a part of me also hated the smell of dusty books, books that needed to be 'aired' or cleaned. On the other hand, that work had allowed me to gather some knowledge I could not have gotten any other way.
I shook my head mentally, so that I'd be able to concentrate better.
The most important thing had been that I now had a plan and I also knew when to put my plan in action! Not only had I a plan, but also all the small pieces of the plan had finally come together. The final piece of this puzzle had been figuring out that I needed to die. Or the university student Stian Holth needed to die, and in such spectacular way that there would be no question about his death. Even if I didn't like that idea too much.
Only now it seemed that I would not need to fake my death since I was sure that, as soon as Rurik and this Magician got the information they needed, they would not leave me alive. Most likely they believed that I was like Rudolf, that I was working here to spy for the Royals. The Royals who most likely had no idea who I was or that I was working here. Maybe Rudolf had had some plans for me, or else he had just felt sorry for me because of my supposed heritage. I had tried to learn patience and now it seemed that I had been too patient when I had postponed my plan to tomorrow evening. One frigging damned day too slow!
While slowly explaining my work to that imperious Magician I opened my sensing and took a count of the people on this floor this afternoon. Before sensing any further I quickly felt for the two Magicians close to me - yes, I now had to think of Rurik as one of them. The empty presence inside both of their inner shimmers just confirmed that. The only difference being that the emptiness of this full Magician almost seemed to pulse. As though there was something waiting to be released. That, combined with his way of speaking and almost black eyes, almost declared that he was loaded with Magic. A stupid thing to do here, inside the Library. As though people like him would care.
Besides these two Magicians, there seemed to be only two other people here. Most likely one of those other two was Halvard, since nobody else would dare go inside his room. Even if the door wasn't locked, I was certain that he had his ways of knowing if somebody were there. He might be old, but, for sure, he wasn't stupid. Besides Halvard, there was somebody sitting by one of the desks - which was a bit surprising since usually there wasn't a single Magic student here for at least a week after the new year. I knew that I had sensed that person before, but I hadn't really paid any special attention to those students. Hadn't felt like it.
I was busy thinking while walking these two people past the high bookshelves around the Dark Floor. It was clear that Rurik had told his fellow Magician about my fighting skills since the man kept his distance from me and I was quite certain that his other hand was holding some kind of weapon, just as Rurik was. I knew that I had been able to stop that one female Magician who had had no idea that I could defend myself against her. Neither had she loaded herself full of Magic like this young guy who felt like some dry dust waiting for a spark. Since I had absolutely no idea how quickly a Magician could release the magic he was carrying, I wanted to play safe. Besides that, I needed to figure a way out of this mess since. Once I had gotten this far, I would not give up.
Before the men behind me knew what I was doing, I had knocked on and partly opened the door to Halvard's room.
"Sir, just for you to know - I'm going to stop working here. This Rurik, who's behind me is going to replace me. I think you might like to meet him."
With two quick steps I was inside the open door, forcing the Magician and Rurik behind me to enter the room. This was better. With everybody inside this room there wa
sn't that much of a chance of an uncontrolled fire. Shit, I had all this planned and organized and I couldn't let some crazy Magician hothead do anything stupid. I took a deep breath and called for the fighter inside me to be ready and turned to face what was happening with my back almost against the wall.
Again, it was as though my senses were already heightened, even if time wasn't slowing down yet. I noticed that Halvard looked even more weary than usual, and if the look on his face wasn't disgust it was at least close to it. When I turned my gaze to the young full Magician, I now saw clearly that his pupils were abnormally large and he had problems keeping his hands still. What hadn't changed was the look on his face, which was still as full of arrogance and superiority as I had imagined. I wondered if the drugs the Magicians used also gave them some illusion of their superiority, like they were superior humans among us lesser mortals.
Rurik now looked just a bit uneasy, looking quickly at Halvard and then at his new, younger master. It was like this was something that hadn't been planned and he would have really liked not to be here. Too bad, friend. You made your decision some time ago and I hadn't had a civilized discussion with you after I had started working here. Still, I couldn't help feeling a bit sad. What if I hadn't interfered back then when those jerks troubled him? What if he hadn't been able to try to become a Magician? I shook those thoughts away and concentrated on the scene in front of me.
Halvard opened the discussion. "So you are here, now. I would have preferred that you would have kept your little game out of this Library."
The look on the face of young Magician turned even more arrogant, if possible. "All these years and what have you managed to gain? All talk and no work, nothing to show, nothing at all! It's time for us to take over and show what can be done and this is as good place to start as any."
So that was the reason for the long silence. It seemed that, at least among the Magicians, there had been some sort of coup and I wondered if it was also happening inside the Guardians. Internally, I smiled. Anything that made them weaker and slowed them down was good news for me - or for us and our long-term plans.
"So, you think that by killing some known and reluctant spies and some other people, you think that you will gain so much power that you can achieve your goals faster. Those things never worked in the past, so why would they work now?"
"Because in the past they didn't do it right! We can do it right! Starting right here and now!"
It was like his eyes were burning when the man shouted that. It was like the water inside the kettle had started to boil and there was no lid so heavy that it could prevent the contents from coming out. Once again, it was like I had all the time in the world to prepare for his move. It was just like the thing the female Magician had tried to do against me inside the warehouse. Except that the power this guy was trying to use felt enormous when compared to that previous time.
The difference was that now, a part of me knew what I was doing and my magic push was a bit different. Again, my push changed his chant so that most of the energy he released was directed back at him, only this time it wasn't released immediately, but slowly. So that he could feel his own mind burning. I felt that I owed that much to Rudolf. A smaller amount of that power was pointed against Rurik who was looking at me, and I noticed the surprised look on his face when his heart instantly stopped. I did my best to ignore that. There was no time to feel sorry now.
The other Magician didn't have it that easy. Once he had started releasing the magic that he had stored inside him there was no way of stopping it from pouring out. Of course, I had no way of knowing how he was feeling since no voice except some low whine was coming out of his mouth. However, I couldn't help seeing what happened to his internal presence, his inner core - his 'shimmer' - as I watched. It was like the magic he released tore it in small pieces and his eyes, that had just been burning, first looked terrified before turning empty just as he collapsed to the floor next to Rurik. All this couldn't have taken any longer than a few blinks of an eye even if it had felt almost like an eternity to me.
An eternity with images that I would remember. Rurik's surprised, almost innocent look when his shimmer was just shut down. The terror on the face of the other Magician when his internal shimmer was torn into small pieces.
I turned towards Halvard.
""Please stay still - and I wouldn't try anything if were you. After all, I assume that you're the real reason Kaylessa was caught and tortured and why Nestariel's ship was sunk.""
The old man did blink his eyes a few times, but it didn't take him long to figure out the situation - or at least think that he had figured out the situation. He didn't look too shocked by the two dead Magicians. I reminded myself that he had a lot of experience and couldn't easily be distracted. Most likely, he had seen his share of deaths during his years.
""It has been a long, long time since I last really used this Old Language, so excuse me if I sound a bit odd.""
Well, at least he was honest about that.
""We can use Anglon, if you want to.""
""No, please continue talking as you do. Speaking like this just wakes... some memories.""
""Just to let you know, there's no one coming this way. By the way, mind telling me your old name?""
Halvard looked at me like this was the first time he saw me. Well, in a way it was.
""I guess I had become too confident of my skills, way too confident. Of all people, I should have known that sooner or later it will happen to all of us, keep that in mind, young Stian - if that's your real name.""
""Thanks for the hint - and yes, Stian really is my name. But you still didn't tell me yours.""
Now I was pushing, even if I didn't use my full force. Maybe I shouldn't have pushed at all, but he had used some of it with his own question. A part of me reminded myself that I should have killed him when I had the chance. The problem was that I was curious - and curiosity could turn out to be dangerous.
""A very, very long time ago I was called Myrddin, that's not really a secret. With a new life I also decided to take a new name... now what? Are you going to kill me? If you know Kaylessa and Nestariel, then you may think that you have a good reason to do that. By the way, may I ask how they are?""
At least he wasn't pushing anymore and again, he sounded honest. One more reason not to trust him.
""They're both dead.""
""I'm really sorry to hear that. Killing all those people wasn't my idea, even if I cannot deny my responsibility. What now, are you here searching for revenge by killing me? Couldn't really blame you for that - I can only ask that if you could save my great-granddaughter, Kara, who decided to join her old grandparent here and who's studying Magic out there even though I asked her not to.""
Again, all I could sense was total honesty - and sadness. Terrible amount of sadness - and the name Kara rang some bells in my head and I might have been able to connect a face to that name. She had been one of those magic students causing me some headaches.
""It wasn't my idea to start these killings here and if things had gone my way most likely nobody would have died here.""
I didn't really owe this man anything, but yet it felt important to point out the difference between me and them. I was so eager to justify what I had done that it started to worry me.
""Unlike those people inside that warehouse? I had been wondering about that, two of those Ugly People and one good Magician. They were sure that some of us were rebelling. This old man is just being curious.""
""They deserved that for what they had planned to do.""
Even if I tried, I could not fully keep the disgust out of my voice and I had to remind myself that the man behind the desk was dangerous, really dangerous, and most likely he would try to distract me just as I had distracted those two Magicians. I forced myself to calm down and kept in touch with the warrior inside me, just in case.
""About being curious, please tell me, Myrddin. How does it feel to live longer than your loved ones? To see
them die?""
That was a hit. For a brief moment the man behind the desk didn't look like the old, maybe a bit scary, grandfather figure he usually was. No, for a moment all the hatred and anger that had been buried there showed through, and I was able to see the man who had been able to betray his friends and fellow Mages for a better position, and for power. For the power he hadn't fully gotten.
""What makes you think that you are any better than us? What makes you think that your goals are any worthier than ours when you walk around killing people like that?""
A part of me had wondered why he hadn't even tried to gather any magical power during our discussion and probably the same part of me had noticed that the old man had been slowly, very slowly shifting himself while had had been sitting there behind his desk. Also his right hand had been gradually moving backwards just as he had been leaning back, slowly making more space between him and his desk.
Ever since I had seen Ylva throw knives, I had been a bit envious of her ability and those few times we had briefly met during the years I had asked her some hints in throwing knives. Since most arms were totally forbidden inside Aston, it was easy to understand the value of such ability. When I had been sort of promoted here in my job so that the maintenance of the books became a part of my profession, it came possible for me to carry a knife here. Of course the knife that I had for fixing books was nothing when compared to the specialized throwing knives Ylva had carried, but with enough practice you could also throw this knife. In the last year I had practiced a lot. Terribly lot.
