by Susan Crosby
“You’re right. She’s as steady as they come, and she has ambition. I think if you don’t have something to do, something to strive for, it spills over into every relationship you have. You have to feel good about yourself first.”
They’d almost reached the truck. “How about you, Karyn? Your job sounds glamorous on the surface, but is it really?”
“It can be. I’ve worked for some remarkable people. Most of them have been great.”
“But there are exceptions?”
“Of course.”
The puppy had been loaded into a crate for the drive home and set on the seat next to Cassidy, who cooed at Belle like a new mom with a baby.
“I’m not sure Vaughn realizes what he’s gotten into by getting that pup,” Dori said. “But Cass has been begging for one for years. It was time.” She hugged Karyn. “I hope to see you again.”
“I won’t go without saying goodbye. Thank you again.”
“Thanks for our sketches. We’ll cherish them.”
Karyn hugged Jim goodbye then climbed into the truck. They all were quiet during the drive home. It was seven o’clock. Clouds had moved in during the afternoon. It smelled like rain and brought back childhood memories with it, although it had often snowed on Christmas at home. It wasn’t cold enough for snow tonight, even if the clouds opened up.
When they reached the house, it took a while to unload everything, get Cass ready for bed, start a fire in the living room and warm some cocoa. It looked like the perfect way to end the holiday.
Until Vaughn told Cassidy she couldn’t keep the puppy in her bed.
Chapter Six
“But Daddy! She’s going to be so lonely.”
“Before you get upset, let me tell you why.”
Cassidy crossed her arms and frowned but said nothing. Vaughn knew the look well. “You’re right, sweetheart. She’s going to be lonely because she’s been with her mother and brothers and sisters since she was born, which is one reason why she’ll be difficult during the night for a while, maybe even weeks. I have a teddy bear to put in the crate with her. We rubbed it all over her mother and the others to get their scent. That will help.”
“The crate! She can’t sleep in the crate all by herself.”
“I know you think it’s harsh, but she’ll be okay. I’ll be close by.”
“I want her to sleep with me.”
“I’m not saying she won’t. But until she adjusts, this is best. Plus she’ll need to be taken outside to pee several times during the night. Do you want to do that?”
“Yes, I do.”
Out of the corner of his eye he saw Karyn cover her mouth against a smile.
“You’ll have all day to play with her, Cass. Now, let’s have a quiet few minutes in front of the fire before bed. Your hot chocolate’s getting cold.”
She flounced onto a floor cushion. Belle came bounding up to her, and soon she was giggling, crisis over. Before she’d even finished her drink, she was asleep.
“At least there won’t be another scene,” Vaughn said to Karyn as he lifted Cassidy into his arms to carry her upstairs. “Will you keep the puppy down here?”
“Of course.”
He settled his daughter in bed, then sat beside her for a minute. It’d been a good Christmas, better than he could remember in a long time. There was no drama, like during the years with Ginger, and no loneliness, like the years since she’d left. He hadn’t been lonely for her, but for someone to share the day, someone to wind down with.
Karyn had enjoyed herself, he was sure of that. Unlike last night, she was relaxed, helping out, fitting in. Her rough sketches had caught ephemeral moments. He particularly liked the one of his mother dancing the hula, looking young and vibrant. His father had surprised everyone with that vacation gift. Vaughn hoped they would be able to relax and enjoy their time away.
He kissed Cassidy’s head, whispered good-night, then left the room. Unless Karyn was exhausted and wanted to go to bed early, they would have a couple of hours alone together. Would they be easy or awkward?
He headed downstairs.
“You are one lucky pooch,” he heard her say. “You’ve landed in the best place possible. Open land, adoring kid, strict master. You’ve got it made.”
“Strict master?” he repeated as he joined her in the living room. He went straight to the fireplace to stoke the logs. She sat in his big leather chair, cross-legged, her boots on the floor, the dog curled in her lap.
“That’s a compliment,” she said. “You’ll make sure she’s obedient. There’s nothing better than a well-trained dog.”
He looked over his shoulder at her. “Thank you. I guess.”
She smiled, continuing to finger comb Belle’s fur. “So, was that a rare scene for Cassidy or a normal one?”
“What? Her being stubborn?”
“Yes. And smart. If you hadn’t asserted yourself as the one in charge, she could’ve gotten her way. She’s bright enough to know when to back down.”
“Naturally I think she’s the world’s most brilliant child. I figure she’ll be quite a handful in years to come. But to answer your question, that was normal. She challenges me frequently. I think it’s good. For now.”
“Picture her as a teenager.”
“Exactly.” He put the poker into its slot on the rack then walked over to her to pet the puppy, aware that his fingers came close to touching her thighs with each stroke. “Belle. It’s a good name for a dog.”
His words were meant to divert himself from what was really on his mind—how Karyn had the perfect body, with curves in the right places, tempting him to touch for himself. He’d spent the day watching her, appreciating her grace and finding her incredibly sexy.
He saw how she’d watched his daughter with longing. He looked into her eyes now and saw a different kind of longing, one that matched his. Their attraction had come fast, would only intensify as they spent time together.
Or maybe not. Maybe they would be turned off by certain aspects of each other’s personality.
He hoped. Because it wasn’t a good idea at all to act on the attraction, not for either of them.
“You’re a good daddy,” she said now, quietly.
“Thank you. It’s not always easy being mother and father.”
“Exactly.”
Vaughn pulled his hand away, hearing a velvet threat in the single word. They were at odds. Karyn wanted Cassidy to be Kyle’s but also wanted Cassidy for herself, in effect, giving her a daughter and providing a mother figure. Vaughn wanted Cass to be Kyle’s so that he would be done with his search and not have a biological father claiming her, fighting for her, but Vaughn also didn’t want to share her with Karyn, who was available only from a long distance and who lived a different kind of life than what he wanted for his daughter.
“What are your plans if she turns out to be Kyle’s?” he asked Karyn.
“Let’s not jump the gun.”
“You must have thought it through.”
“I try not to.” Belle hopped down from Karyn’s lap and started sniffing the floor.
“Saved by the immature bladder,” Vaughn said, grabbing the leash. “If you’re hungry, feel free to fix yourself something. The refrigerator’s full.”
He escaped outdoors. Because Belle was twelve weeks old she was somewhat trained, the owner having kept her and most of the other pups so that they could be surprises for Christmas. Belle knew what she was expected to do outdoors, but that didn’t stop her from wanting to sniff everything in sight, and Vaughn wasn’t in a hurry to go back to the conversation he and Karyn had been having.
When he did go inside, he found her fixing a plate of cheese and apples, enough for two.
“I don’t see how I could be hungry,” she said. “But I am.”
“Me, too.”
“I figured. Do you have crackers?”
“In the cupboard over there.”
She’d put her boots on. Even so, she couldn’t reach the box of crackers in the cabinet. He pulled it down and handed it to her. Their hands touched briefly, and he remembered the way she’d felt in his arms last night when he’d comforted her.
“So, you’re wearing Gloriana’s sweater,” he said, diverting his thoughts as she piled crackers in the middle of the plate.
“Half my wardrobe is from her. She’s a difficult person to work for, but she surprises me with her generosity, too.”
“Do you ever buy her something because you like it and hope you’ll get it later?” He snagged a cracker and square of cheese from the plate.
“Well...”
“Mercenary.”
“Guilty. It hasn’t always worked out.” She nibbled on an apple slice.
“Do you like your work?”
“Most of the time. Sometimes it just seems...frivolous. Especially since Kyle died. I feel like I should be doing something that matters more. Like I need to live life for both of us, and he had higher ambitions than I did, more important goals.”
“Like what?”
“He had a degree in civil engineering, and he had dreams of working with the Peace Corps on roads and dams in third-world countries.”
“Admirable.”
“He was happiest doing something to help others. He was the most self-sacrificing person I knew.”
“What were his flaws?”
“His flaws? Should we speak ill of the dead?”
“If we want to avoid putting someone on a pedestal. I’d like to know about him, not just because he might be Cass’s father but because he’s your brother, and you obviously adored him.”
“I expect most sisters adore their big brothers.” She leaned her elbows on the island countertop and smiled.
“So he was born first?”
“By three whole minutes.” She cocked her head. “He was nice to everyone.”
“Too nice?” he asked, hearing something beyond just an observation.
She shrugged.
“Did people walk all over him?”
“He got taken advantage of, yes. Was that Ginger’s M.O.? Was she a user?”
“And a chameleon.” He didn’t want to talk about Ginger. She’d figured out right away how to bring out his protective instincts. She’d probably done the same with Kyle and every other man she’d met.
“Was your marriage terrible?”
“Not for the first couple of years.” As long as they were living in San Francisco and she could shop all day, she was fine. As soon as they’d moved here—much against her wishes—she became a different person, probably her true self.
“Did she love Cassidy?”
He noticed Karyn didn’t ask if Ginger had loved him. She’d probably figured that out for herself. Vaughn had been a means to an end for Ginger, that was all. “She wasn’t very maternal. She dressed Cass up like she was her baby doll, constantly changing her clothes. Once Cass was old enough to assert herself a little and not be so completely dependent, Ginger lost interest. Then she left.”
“I’d like to ask a personal question, even though it’s none of my business—”
“Why did I marry her when she’d just given birth to another man’s child?”
Karyn nodded.
“I thought I was in love.” More important, he’d thought she needed him. He’d been raised to respect and protect women. He’d seen it all his life, the way his father was with his mother and sisters. There was an unspoken code, an expectation of a Ryder male. It hadn’t taken much effort on Ginger’s part to discover that about him—and use it.
“How did you meet?”
“She was a temp in my law office.” He was done looking back, didn’t need to be talking about her, ruining the first Christmas he’d enjoyed in years. “I’m going to take the dog out once more then go to bed. Feel free to stay up and enjoy the fire.”
“I’m wiped out, too.”
They put the food away. At the bottom of the staircase, they said good-night.
“I hope Belle doesn’t keep you awake all night,” Karyn said.
“Thanks. Me, too.”
He crouched to attach Belle’s leash but got distracted by seeing Karyn climb the stairs. Her designer jeans were a second skin, emphasizing her rear and not leaving a whole lot to his imagination. She didn’t look back at him but wiggled her fingers over her shoulder when she reached the top of the stairs, letting him know she was aware of him watching.
“Well, pup,” he said. “It should be an interesting few days.”
Belle, being female, smiled mysteriously. Hell, even the dog seemed to know everything, while he felt as if he knew nothing at this point. He’d been trying not to compare Karyn to Ginger, but he couldn’t help it. There were similarities. Both of them were flashy, although Karyn in a more tasteful way. She dressed for where she worked, the people she worked for.
The most worrisome comparison had to do with the speed with which everything was happening. It’d been that way with Ginger, too. Too much, too fast. He’d learned that Ginger had set him in her sights from the beginning, and maybe Karyn had, too. Was she pretending her attraction? Setting the scene for what she wanted if Cass was her niece?
Was it just his ego that he felt attraction from her?
He wouldn’t be played for a fool twice.
* * *
The night before, Karyn had slept straight through, even being in a strange place, which was a testament not only to how tired she had been but also to how comfortable she’d been with the surroundings.
Tonight was a different matter altogether. She’d fallen asleep easily enough but awakened after a few hours unable to doze off again. The house was quiet. She’d heard the puppy whining and barking while she’d been getting ready for bed, but nothing after that. Karyn assumed the dog wasn’t happy being crated.
Poor Vaughn. Maybe he should’ve gotten a rescue dog, one who came fully trained and who slept through the night, although it was fun for kids to grow up with a dog they’d raised themselves. Because Belle was a herding dog, Karyn wondered if she would be trained to herd cattle along with being a family pet. She wondered if Vaughn was involved in the day-to-day ranching operations. Did he ride herd—or whatever it was called?
Karyn stared at the ceiling until she couldn’t lie there anymore. She ran a bubble bath, luxuriating in the warmth, then put her T-shirt and pajama bottoms back on. Still she wasn’t sleepy, so she tugged her robe on, grabbed her sketch pad and quietly went downstairs to the living room, curling up in the big leather chair, a floor lamp on over her shoulder. She’d just opened her sketchbook when the front door opened.
Belle bounded in, straining at the leash. She barked once. Vaughn said, “Quiet,” as he took off her leash then lifted her into his arms, apparently not taking the chance she would run off, thus making him chase her through the house.
“Having a rough night?” Karyn asked.
Vaughn spun toward the living room. “Looks like I’m not the only one,” he said, the squirming dog trying to lick his face. He wore sweatpants, a sweatshirt and slippers.
“Are you feeling okay?” he asked.
“Yes, why?”
“Your cheeks are pink. Your hair looks wet.”
“I’m not feverish. I took a bubble bath, hoping to—” She stopped as his gaze intensified.
“It didn’t help, apparently,” he said, putting the dog down. She raced over to Karyn and tried to jump into the chair, obviously happy when Karyn lifted her up.
“How many times have you taken Belle out?”
“Twice. I can stir up the embers and ge
t the fire going if you want.”
“I’m fine, thank you. I hope to go back to bed soon. Have you had any sleep?”
“Some. She’s letting me know she’s not happy about being by herself in the crate. She’ll adjust.” He gestured to her sketch pad. “May I have a look?”
She hesitated then finally relinquished it. “I need to flesh out a lot of them. Or toss them.”
“I can’t draw or sing, both of which I’d like to do,” he said as he flipped through the pages, examining each drawing.
“There are kind of a lot of you,” she said apologetically. “Or beginnings, anyway.”
“I’m seeing that. Why?”
“You have an expressive face, especially with your family.” She could easily stare at that face across the breakfast table for the rest of her life, she thought, then caught herself. “When you have your lawyer’s face on, as you did when you came to see me in Hollywood, I only saw the business side of you. As you can see, I started a lot of drawings of Cassidy, too, and of you and her together.”
He returned the pad. “I never thought about how different sketches are from photographs. You capture not just a moment but a series of moments, then combine them. That’s talent.”
His words pleased her beyond measure. “Thank you. I hope to get to that point.”
They looked at each other for a few long seconds. Karyn’s heart began to pound.
“I should get the dog crated and try to sleep,” he said hesitantly, as if waiting for her to say otherwise.
“I should try, too.” Belle had fallen asleep in her lap. She slipped her arms under the dog and lifted her toward Vaughn. Their hands brushed. It was all Karyn needed to acknowledge what was fast becoming a craving. She couldn’t remember ever feeling this much this soon for anyone. Could she trust those feelings? She knew she was vulnerable right now. Was that what was driving her?
“Good night again,” Vaughn said.
“Night.”
Karyn waited until he was out of sight before she stood, then changed her mind and sat down again. She opened her sketchbook, looking for a particular drawing. When she found it she picked up her pencil to expand on it, to fill in the details. Vaughn was seated on a sofa, his arms stretched across the back, his ankles crossed. Relaxed and utterly sexy, he’d been watching Mitch and Annie slow dancing. His shirt had pulled tight over a flat abdomen and across a broad chest. Karyn sketched the sweet spot where his Wranglers bunched below his belt buckle. He would have a horseman’s thighs, too, strong and muscular.
