by Vivian Wood
“Jesus,” Luke said, seeming floored.
Aubrey hesitated, realizing that this was the moment. She’d told him half the story, and he’d barely batted an eyelash. If she told him everything, it might drive him away, but at least she would feel honest. She owed him the truth.
“It wasn’t all bad. I actually met Valerie through a support group for victims of abuse. She brought me to Sunnyside to volunteer, and we both ended up working there. It changed my life, but not all for the worse,” she said.
Taking a deep breath, she laced her fingers with Luke’s and looked up into his eyes.
“That was only a few months before I met you,” she told him. “And… there’s more to the story, honestly.”
Luke’s mouth opened and then closed again. Aubrey couldn’t help but smile, because though he was the quiet type, she’d actually never seen him speechless before. Even as she smiled, tears welled in her eyes as the words formed on her lips.
“I thought about finding you, too,” she confessed. “In fact, I was planning on it. I had even met with a private investigator who might have been able to track you down.”
“But you didn’t,” Luke said, tilting his head to the side, watching her closely.
“No. A few weeks after we spent the weekend together, I missed my period.” Aubrey sucked in a deep breath and released it, knowing that there was no turning back now, she needed to get the whole thing out. “I went to the doctor, and she confirmed the pregnancy.”
Luke’s eyebrows shot up, his surprise coupled with a tinge of suspicion.
“I wasn’t in the right place in my life to have a child. I was still reeling from things with Lawrence, and then I got pregnant with a virtual stranger…”
“We weren’t strangers. Not after the first night we spent together,” Luke said, his voice gone to gravel.
“Just let me… I need to tell you everything. I knew I couldn’t have a child. I knew my parents would force me to keep it, that I would be chained to them, or to you if I ever found you. I just… I just couldn’t do it. So I made an appointment to terminate the pregnancy.”
Aubrey exhaled, long and slow.
“I don’t want to hear any more, Aubrey. This is… I don’t know,” Luke said. The hurt in his expression broke her heart, but she needed him to understand.
“I never went to the appointment,” she said, shaking her head. “After all that, I still couldn’t do it. I changed my mind, decided that I’d have the baby and give it up for adoption.”
“Are you trying to tell me that I have a kid out there somewhere, living with strangers?” Luke said, his voice rising dangerously.
“No. No, I’m afraid not. I miscarried in the third month,” Aubrey said, her voice shaking. Tears broke free, rolling down her face, and she closed her eyes.
“You…” Luke started, then stopped. He stood up, brushing himself off, and rubbed a hand through his hair. “I just… I need to take a walk, think for a minute. Please don’t go anywhere.”
The look on his face froze Aubrey to her spot. She nodded, a whimper escaping her lips as she watched him go. The feeling in her chest, the shame and regret that had clawed their way up from that deep, dark place inside, threatened to consume her. It was exactly how she’d felt at the hospital, realizing that she’d lost Luke’s baby, the baby she’d planned to give away. The pregnancy she’d originally planned to abort. The pain was sharp, just as fresh as it had been that day.
Unable to hold in her anguish, Aubrey crawled into the tent and closed her eyes.
29
Twenty
It was pitch-black outside when Luke returned, the rustle of tree branches waking Aubrey from her exhausted doze. She sat up, wiping sleep from her eyes, ready to face whatever Luke had to say. When he poked his head into the tent, the lack of anger in his expression startled her.
“Hey,” he said. “Can I come in?”
“It’s your tent,” Aubrey said, feeling silly.
Luke climbed in, settling beside her. He reached out and took her hand.
“Aubrey, I’m so sorry,” he said, stealing her breath.
“W-What?” she stuttered, confused.
“I’m sorry that any of that happened to you. I’m sorry for what happened with your ex, I’m sorry I wasn’t more careful using protection, and I’m sorry that you had to make that kind of choice,” he said. He squeezed her hand. “No one should have to go through that. I just… I wish you’d told me sooner. I didn’t get why you were so resistant to me, when we have such good chemistry. Now I think I understand a little better.”
“I’m told you the part about Lawrence because I want you to understand why I left you in San Diego without saying goodbye. I had such a perfect weekend with you, and I just wanted to keep it that way. It made me feel so good, and I wasn’t ready for anything more. It was like a snow globe, like a perfect moment trapped in a bubble. I could pick it up and think about it and feel good any time I wanted. You gave me that,” Aubrey said. “But I knew that if you got close to me, I’d have to tell you the rest, and then you’d leave. And I really, really… Luke, I don’t want that.”
Luke gave her a long, measured look. For a moment she was worried that he might still be angry, but instead he leaned in and brushed a kiss against her lips.
“I guess I never thought of it that way, like trapping a memory in a snow globe. But I did the same thing. I thought about you all the time when I was overseas, fantasized about you more than I’d like to admit. After Jordan, I knew I was too fucked up to come back to you. But I still thought about you all the time, I swear it,” Luke said, the words sounding like both a confession and an assurance.
“Oh, Luke…” Aubrey sighed and tipped her face up. He kissed her again, deeper this time, but released her after a moment.
“When my father called us home and sat us down to tell us about the Alphas’ decree, my brothers went nuts. They were all so angry, and rightfully so. I was pissed for a minute, getting caught up in their anger, but then… Then I realized that I might have another chance to see you. I looked for you at the mixer, even though I was sure that you would have already settled down with someone else. I know I fucked things up back there…”
“You didn’t fuck anything up. I had no right to be jealous, not after I walked out on you in San Diego,” Aubrey corrected him.
“Still. I should have done more. I was planning to come find you, but the whole party thing just freaked me out so bad. And then I started drinking, and that girl appeared out of nowhere…” Luke ran his free hand through his hair, giving his head a frustrated shake. “God, when I saw you, I really lost it. You were long gone by the time I was sober enough to chase you, too. I was so pissed at myself.”
“And what about… the other part?” Aubrey asked him, swallowing.
“I wish you’d found me sooner, told me everything. But I can’t be mad about what I couldn’t seem to do myself. And the pregnancy… Aubrey, none of that is your fault. You did nothing wrong.”
“I was going to have an abortion,” Aubrey said, fresh tears forming in her eyes. “I was very rational about it. I made the appointment. I basically poisoned the well. I felt like… like I lost the baby because it knew it wasn’t wanted.”
“Aubrey,” Luke said, very serious. “That’s not true, and you know it. Those things just happen. If you could will a baby away, I think we’d know about it by now. I don’t want you to waste your time and energy thinking stuff like that. Don’t poison your own well, to use your phrase.”
“So… that’s it? You just forgive me?” she asked, wiping her damp cheeks with the back of her hand.
“There’s nothing to forgive. In a way, it’s kind of nice to be with someone with their own baggage. It makes me feel less unworthy,” he said, lifting a shoulder.
Aubrey smirked, wrinkling her nose at him.
“That’s sweet, in a fucked up kind of way,” she said.
“I know, I know. But now… we’re both here. And
maybe I’m all fucked up, and maybe you’re scared to take a mate, but… we just have the whole world at our fingertips, Aubrey. We can go as fast or as slow as we want, I don’t care. I just want us to do it all together,” he finished.
“What about Portland?” Aubrey asked.
“Screw Portland. Let’s move to a cabin in the woods and never see anyone else again. I can telecommute or something,” Luke declared.
“And what about my job, which I love?” Aubrey prompted.
“Aubrey Umbridge, if you’ll have me, I will live anywhere you want. Honestly,” Luke said, exasperated.
“What about a sea shanty? Or like, a really noisy condo in the middle of downtown?” she asked, knowing he’d hate that scenario.
“Condo, shanty. Check and check,” he said with a laugh.
“Fine. Well, I guess I can’t turn that offer down,” she said, fluttering her eyelashes.
“That’s underwhelming,” Luke joked back.
Aubrey flung herself at him, pressing her body against his. She pressed her lips to his, loving how small she felt as he wrapped his arms around her.
“I want you, Luke. Right now,” Aubrey whispered.
“You’ve got me, Aubrey,” Luke promised her. “Any time of the day or night, any place.”
“Take me into the tent,” she sighed.
As Luke swept her up and carried her inside, Aubrey thought her heart might burst with happiness.`
30
Twenty One
Aubrey loved the tender care Luke showed as he laid her down on the tent’s thick pallet bed. His movements were calm and deliberate, and Aubrey realized that she’d never once seen her mate like this, at peace with himself and the world around him.
Luke stretched out beside her, his fingers twining with hers. He gave her a long, languorous kiss, lips and tongue exploring with gentle strokes. Aubrey sucked in a deep breath, already burning for him though they were both still fully dressed. Luke had a way of doing that to her, making her want more than she’d ever thought possible.
She tugged his thin gray sweater and soft cotton shirt up, slipping her hand beneath to let her fingers play over the taut flesh there. She swept her touch upward from his waistline, her thumb dipping to trace the vee of muscle beside his hip bone. Luke’s abs clenched, betraying his sensitivity to her caress even as he nipped her bottom lip, reminding her of his dominance.
Aubrey pulled back and pulled at his shirt, pleased when Luke sat up and helped her shuck it from his body.
“You really are something,” she marveled, running her hands down the rippling perfection of his shoulders and arms, casting a glance at the sculpted perfection of his chest and abs.
“Look who’s talking,” Luke said, arching a brow.
Aubrey silenced him, kissing him hard as she pushed him onto his back. She watched his face closely as she found the button on his pants and unzipped them. The lust and adoration she saw in his eyes floored her, made her bold. In half a minute, she had him stripped down to his tight gray boxer briefs, her eyes drinking in every inch of bared skin.
Kissing him again, light and teasing this time, she trailed her fingertips over his hip bones and the tops of his thighs. His cock twitched as he gave a soft growl, a demand that she get on with it. Aubrey planned to take her sweet time and explore every inch of her man, though.
Hooking her fingers in his waist band, she pulled the boxer briefs down his hips, freeing his erection. She took it in her hand, astounded anew at his sheer size. The base of his cock was too thick for her to close her fingers around it, and when it lay against his body it nearly reached up to his navel. All shifters were big, but Luke certainly took the cake.
Luke groaned, his eyes fluttering closed as he thrust into her hand. Aubrey stroked the silky-hard flesh from crown to root, her thumb tracing the thick veins just under the skin. She swept her thumb over the blunt head, spreading the slick precum with her touch.
Tossing her long hair back over her shoulder, Aubrey leaned in and gave him a single, long lick from bottom to top before closing her lips around the crown. Luke cried out, his whole body going rigid.
Just that fast, Luke withdrew. He grabbed Aubrey and pulled her down beside him, rising to tower over her.
“No more of that,” he scolded.
“But—” Aubrey started.
“It’s been too long for me. I want to make this good for you, and you’re about to blow it all. Literally,” he told her, lips twitching with amusement.
She hmmphed, but she was too turned on to be upset. She’d get her turn to control his pleasure, even if it wasn’t right this minute.
“Why am I the only one naked?” Luke asked, pretending exasperation. He peeled the dress from her body, ignoring her faint protests when he stripped off her bra and panties, too. Aubrey’s lust dimmed; she felt too exposed, almost embarrassed as Luke’s eyes skated over her bountiful, naked flesh.
When she tried to cover herself, her hands landing on her rounded stomach, Luke growled at her.
“Quit ruining my view,” he scolded, pulling her hands away. “You’re too damn beautiful, I want to kiss you everywhere but I can’t decide where to start.”
Aubrey blushed as Luke laid down beside her and pulled her body against his. Her breasts and thighs brushed against his body, giving her a tantalizing hint of the warmth that radiated from him. Luke brushed a kiss at the corner of her mouth, dropping kisses to her jawline and down to her neck. He nuzzled her ear, making her shiver with pleasure.
He kissed her neck and shoulders as his hands found her breasts, measuring their heavy weight. He teased her nipples with this thumbs as he marked her neck with quick nips of his teeth. Desire burned bright within her once again, her breasts aching and burning even as liquid desire pooled at her core.
“Luke…” she whispered.
He turned his attention to her breasts, brushing the light growth of his beard against the tender underside of each. When his lips closed over her nipple she moaned and arched her back, wanting more. As he laved his tongue over her nipple, his fingers traced a line down her stomach and lower, finding and exploring her lower lips.
“Fuck, you’re wet for me already,” Luke gritted out. He abandoned her breasts, his fingers parting her lips, circling her core.
At the first touch of his fingertips against her clit, Aubrey nearly came. Her skin felt too tight, moisture forming on her flesh as need consumed her. She wanted more, needed more, but she couldn’t bring herself to stop him. His deft fingers drew her higher and higher until she thought she would shatter. Just before she peaked, she pulled back.
“What’s wrong?” Luke asked, giving her a deep kiss.
“I want us to go together,” Aubrey said. She hadn’t spoken her desires aloud since she’d been with him in San Diego, and it felt a little uncomfortable.
Luke’s answering growl, the way he grabbed her waist to pull her close and gave her a demanding kiss, told her that she’d said the right thing.
To Aubrey’s surprise, Luke pulled her onto his body, settling her to straddle his hips. He bucked upward when her heat came down to cradle his cock, grinding into her. He reached up and flipped the dark curtain of her hair over her shoulder, his eyes practically glowing with lust.
“Look at you,” he said again, shaping her hips with his hands, cupping her breasts. “Fuck, Aubrey. I need to be inside you.”
Luke lifted her a little, grasping his erection and teasing her core with the thick tip. Aubrey shifted, aligning their bodies so that the head of his cock pressed into the entrance of her slick, needy channel.
Inch by agonizing inch, Aubrey took him in, shivering as her body stretched to accommodate his size. Luke gripped her hips, a tortured expression on his face, but to his credit he didn’t do more than hiss out a long breath.
“Fuck me, Aubrey. You feel so good, better than I remembered,” he said. A vein throbbed at his temple, more standing out in his thickly muscled arms as he kept himself tightly r
eined.
The second that Aubrey started to move, he moved with her. She raised and lowered herself, the feel of his cock rubbing in every sensitive spot making goosebumps prickle her flesh.
Luke was still restrained, distracting himself by kneading and kissing her breasts as she set a slow, deep rhythm. Waves of liquid heat rippled up through her body as she increased her pace, her breasts bouncing and ass landing against Luke with a satisfying slap.
Still he waited; her mate had the patience of a saint. Aubrey wanted none of it, though.
“Fuck me, Luke. Let go,” she ordered.
Luke thrust up into her body, filling her completely, and they both groaned with satisfaction. He moved under her, his hands clenching her ample hips once more as they found a rough, fevered tempo. Luke’s blue-green gaze was intent on her face, and Aubrey couldn’t stop watching him.
All Luke’s careful control disappeared as he pounded into her body, emitting pleased growls with every flick of Aubrey’s hips.
“You’re so tight, so hot,” he ground out. “I can’t wait…”
His broad thumb found her clit, rubbing it in insistent circles until her body tightened, tensing as she reached the peak. Luke’s mouth found the sensitive curve of her breast, his teeth sinking into her flesh, creating a bright burst of pleasure and pain that shattered her in an instant.
Aubrey shouted her release as her body clenched and clamped around Luke’s cock, the sensation so intense that for a moment she knew nothing but stars bursting in darkness. Luke’s matching cry pulled her back and Aubrey cried out again as he rocked into her body, pulsing his seed deep into her womb. His cock jerked over and over again, the joy of ecstasy and release plain on his face.
When he slowed, dragging in desperate breaths, Luke grabbed the back of Aubrey’s neck and pulled her roughly down, pressing her to his chest. They lay joined for minutes, or hours, or forever, breathing each other in as their hearts thundered in their chests. Aubrey tucked her face against Luke’s sweat dampened neck, taking a deep draw of his masculine scent into her lungs.
