by Raine, Alice
The skin below my fingers tensed, and heat flooded Stella’s face as her orgasm reared up on her and caused her to scream her enjoyment. It felt pretty bloody good for me, too, because in her climax Stella’s body clamped around my cock like a fist and I knew I wouldn’t last long.
Cursing loudly, I gripped her hips and thrust upwards three more times before burying my head in her neck and clamping my teeth down on the skin to hide my yell as I began to release inside her.
My climax went on and on, draining me and yet somehow exhilarating me at the same time.
We clung together as we came down from our high, my cock still twitching away inside her with aftershocks of my orgasm, and Stella’s pussy grasping at my shaft in response, as if they were high-fiving each other in celebration of a breath-taking performance.
Opening my eyes, I leaned back and smiled down at my girl when I saw just how content she looked. She was so sated that her eyes had begun to droop. ‘I’m so comfy I could fall asleep right here,’ she murmured as I caged her against me with my arms to make sure she didn’t fall. Being buried deep inside her and surrounded by the warmth of not only her body, but the sauna, too, felt so ideal that I wasn’t in a great rush to move, either.
Moving would mean going back to face real life again, and I was happy to block that out for another few minutes, so I let my lips explore, licking, kissing, and sucking at her neck as I gently caressed the soft skin of her back.
Finally, I knew we had to leave, otherwise we’d risk being caught by the manager in our intimate position. ‘Let’s get you to bed, hmm?’ I murmured beside her ear, bringing Stella back from the brink of slumber as she blinked up at me sleepily.
As we were retying our dressing gowns, the door to the spa opened and the smartly dressed hotel manager from earlier breezed in to check on us.
Talk about good timing! A minute earlier and he’d have found me buried to the hilt inside Stella. Rearranging my features into an expression that gave away nothing of my earlier lust, I thanked him and gave him a generous tip for opening the spa out of hours for us. Then I took Stella’s hand to lead her back to our room.
After that steamy exchange, and the draining exhaustion from today’s harrowing events, we were both so tired that we fell straight into bed. Stella sighed with happiness when I tucked her into our four-poster bed and pulled her against my chest. Seconds later, I felt the welcome heaviness of sleep blanketing me.
Chapter Twenty Two – Stella
The following morning, I felt refreshed and amazingly well rested considering all that had happened the day before. Nathan’s plan to have the massage had been brilliant, and between that and the unusually gentle lovemaking afterwards I’d fallen into such a deep sleep that I hadn’t even shifted position during the night.
Nathan was still curled around my back when I woke, and I smiled at just how tightly he was holding me. It was like he couldn’t get me close enough, even in his sleep, but as I listened to his regular breathing I could tell he was already awake, and so snuggled back into his firm embrace and heard him hum his approval. ‘Morning.’
‘Morning, sweetheart.’ Nathan nuzzled his lips into my neck and kissed me, and I felt a slight ache there as I tilted to give him better access. Recalling the power of his climax last night and the way he’d bitten my neck to quieten his yell, I suspected I had yet another love bite.
‘As much as I’d like to stay here all day with you in my arms, we need to check out soon.’
Blinking in surprise, I glanced at the clock on the bedside table and saw that it was gone half-past ten in the morning. ‘Half-ten?’ I squeaked in shock, amazed I’d slept so long.
‘Yep. We must have needed it. Come on, babe, let’s jump in the shower.’
After the shower, Nathan made some calls to see if the Cotswold house was ready to move into, and I phoned Becky to check in on her. I managed to get through to speak directly to her, and relaxed when she told me that the doctors were really pleased with her morning test results, and she should be released later today.
Now Nathan and I were back in his car and heading to the Hampstead house to get some clothes, but with every mile we covered I felt my good spirits dropping. We were heading back to the “crime scene”, and as we pulled up outside the place we had called home for nearly a year I felt the same dread as last night settle in my stomach. I really didn’t want to go inside. I knew the police had cleared out and the cleaning team had reassured us that all traces of yesterday’s events had been removed, but even so … I’d gone through a hell of an experience in there, and it was still sitting heavily on my nerves.
Beside me, Nathan was his usual gruff self, staring up at the house with a look of grim determination on his face. He’d been quiet during the drive, and I knew this must all be just as hard for him, if not harder, so I dragged up my reserves of bravery and offered to accompany him inside.
‘I’ll come in with you …’
He shook his head, and his eyes remained locked on the door to the house. ‘No, I’ll be fine.’
He was saying no, but I could see the tension in his jaw so I pulled in a breath for bravery and jumped out of the car. ‘Come on, we’ll be quicker if we both go in.’
Once he’d locked the car, Nathan joined me at the steps. ‘OK, how about I make some calls to removal companies about getting the rest of our stuff packed and moved next week, and you nip upstairs and pack some cases for us to last a few days? Get whatever you want for you and Will and just pack me a couple of casual outfits and about three suits.’
I raised an eyebrow as I tried to supress an amused smirk.
‘What?’
‘I’m just surprised that you’re letting me touch your precious suits, that’s all.’ It was hardly the time for joking around, but I couldn’t resist one little dig to ease some of the tension. ‘I mean, what if I fold them?’ Folding his precious suits and putting creases where creases didn’t belong would be a nightmare for Nathan.
His eyes narrowed at my joke, but even after all of our recent stress I saw a twinkle of humour reflected in his gaze, so my distraction technique seemed to be working.
‘You wouldn’t dare …’
‘I might, if it causes that look on your face.’
Before I had time to tease him further, Nathan swooped down and captured me in his embrace, kissing me soundly on the lips and stopping any further comment. ‘Three suits, hung in a suit bag. No folding, or else I’ll redden your arse so much you won’t be able to sit down for days.’
Hmm. It might be worth ruining one of his prized suits just to get that “punishment”.
Once I’d made it through the front door and up the stairs I found that being back inside the house wasn’t so bad. The upstairs rooms all held really fond memories for me, and this was the place we’d brought William home to after he was born, so I focused on those thoughts instead of recalling yesterday’s traumatic events.
It didn’t take me long to shove some clothes in a couple of bags. I packed the most for William, because he was obviously the messiest, and then I pulled out a few pairs of jeans for Nathan and me, some tops, a couple of jumpers each, and, of course, his three suits.
Hung.
Not folded.
I might not have packed many clothes, but by the time I’d gathered together everything William would need at the new house I had quite a pile of stuff accumulated at the bottom of the stairs.
I trotted down with the last load, then paused and listened for the sound of Nathan talking on the phone, wondering if he was still speaking to removal companies. The house seemed silent, but I was certain he wouldn’t have gone outside without me. After checking the downstairs study and kitchen and finding them empty, I nervously eyed the door to the lounge and felt a wave of queasiness settle in my stomach again.
It was stupid, because I knew the body would be gone, and the room cleared, but I felt really scared about going inside.
Edging forwards, I placed a hand on the woo
d. ‘Nathan?’ He didn’t reply, but I could definitely hear movement inside, so I pushed open the door and peered around it into the room. My stomach might have been feeling queasy before, but it absolutely fell when I took in the sight before me.
Nathan stood to the side of the room, furiously scrubbing at the wall with a sponge from the kitchen. His suit jacket had been thrown carelessly over a dining chair, and his shirt sleeves were rolled up so haphazardly that he hardly looked anything like my usually pristine man. Add to that his reddened cheeks, crazy hair, bulging eyes, and low muttering and he seemed practically set to explode.
What the heck was going on?
He was still rubbing on the wall almost viciously, and when I glanced down I saw that he had a small bowl of soapy water to his side. This peculiar sight was enough to get me over my fear of the room, so I quickly entered and ran to his side.
‘Nathan? What’s going on? What are you doing?’
‘Blood.’
There had been a special clean-up team in here last night, and I could see no trace of what had occurred yesterday, so I had no clue what he was talking about, but I reached down to try to stop his agitated rubbing. As soon as I touched his forearm he abruptly stopped and stood up, looking around the room and avoiding my worried gaze.
‘They missed a bit. There was a spot of blood on the wall. His blood.’ Nathan glared at the carpet, and I turned, realising exactly where we were waiting – right beside the dining table where his father had hit his head and died. Jesus. The carpet was clean now, but Mr Jackson had been lying just a foot away from here. Shit.
‘Needed it clean.’ Nathan was still staring at the carpet as if considering moving his scrubbing there next. He chewed viciously on his lower lip and didn’t seem to be able to form full sentences at the moment. I was fairly sure he was having a meltdown of some kind, because he was clearly distressed, but I had absolutely no idea what to do.
His face had turned almost puce now, the veins in his neck were pulsing, and his eyes were unblinking. Before I could say any vaguely supportive words he dropped the sponge, threw his head back, and let out an almighty roar that was so loud it made the glasses in the minibar shake.
Fuck.
Lowering his head, he glanced at his hand with distaste as if the blood had somehow gone through the sponge into his skin. Then he looked up at me with such a tortured expression on his face that it nearly broke me.
The reality of his father’s death had obviously just sunk in, and he was clearly struggling with it, but I had no idea what to say to comfort him. His father had been a vile human being, and I certainly didn’t feel particularly sad that he was gone.
He pulled in a deep breath and shook his head again, sending his hair flopping messily over his forehead. Then he closed his eyes, seeming utterly lost, before taking a step back so he was leaning against the wall. He held his wet hand out to the side of him as if disgusted by it, which given his handwashing compulsion was a high possibility, and then tipped his head back.
In this position, I couldn’t see his eyes, but his chest began rapidly rising and falling as he seemed to be gripped by some sort of panic attack, and I knew I needed to act quickly to help him.
I dropped my handbag and ran to the kitchen, searching the counters and grabbing the first tea towel I could find. Having doused it with water and some liquid soap, I sprinted back to Nathan. I then gently took his clenched hand into mine. Opening out his fingers, I saw that his skin was completely clean, but perhaps if I washed it anyway he would feel better. Cleansed, perhaps.
I quickly wiped the palm and fingers before cleaning the joints of his knuckles and doing my best to get around his nails, too. It wasn’t as thorough a job as my obsessive-compulsive man would have done, but for now it would have to do.
He watched me silently the entire time, then raised his head, his eyes meeting mine and catching me in his intense gaze. And just when I thought he’d calmed down, Nathan managed to shock me further.
He started to cry.
My big, strong, tough guy was crying. He took two huge, ragged breaths, which I thought were sighs, but were actually sobs, and then the tears began. Floods of them. Within seconds, his face was soaked as his entire body shook with the intensity of his wracking sobs. Seconds later, his legs gave way and he slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor with his hands buried in his hair and tears running down his cheeks, looking completely and utterly defeated.
Holy shit. I’d thought he’d been dealing with this all pretty well up until our arrival back here, but clearly, he had just been bottling everything up. Knowing Nathan, he’d probably been holding himself together for my sake, but as far as I could tell, his internal pressure valve had just exploded.
‘Stella … need you,’ he whispered, breaking me from my panicked thoughts. It had all happened so quickly that I could barely keep up, but somehow his words registered in my shocked brain and prompted me to try to help him. The only thing I could think of was with some physical contact.
I dropped down onto the floor. Lifting one leg over him, I carefully lowered myself so I was straddling his lap. Leaning into his chest, I wrapped my arms around his stiff shoulders and did my best attempt at blanketing him with my body, even though I could feel his muscles were like granite below me.
After I’d been holding him for a few minutes I gradually felt his breathing settle and his muscles begin to relax. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’
‘No.’ He practically snarled the word, his emotions rearing to the surface again so quickly that it made my muscles tense up. ‘I want to get out of here.’
Relaxing slightly, I nodded. That I could do. I stood up and offered my hands to help him up but Nathan ignored me and pushed himself to standing before averting his eyes, huffing out an irritated breath and stalking from the room.
Shit. His detached behaviour was starting to really worry me now. I knew he must be feeling embarrassed because of his tears, and no doubt confused about his feelings towards his father, but the fact he was pushing me away was a real concern.
Nathan had done this once before, back when we’d first got together and his feelings for me had become too much for him to handle. He’d distanced himself from me and tried to walk away from us. He’d come around in the end, though, and we were so much stronger now than we had been back then, so surely he wouldn’t do something similar a second time?
My man had a volatile relationship with his emotions, I knew that very well, but all I could do was hope that instead of pushing me away this time, he might turn to me for support. He had said he needed me earlier, which was a good start.
Suspecting that his aloofness was just a knee-jerk reaction to his tears I didn’t try to push anything on him just yet. Instead, I stood back to give him space and prayed that, given a little time, he’d let me get close enough to help him recover.
I followed him from the room, feeling sick with nerves. We silently grabbed the bags from the hall and left the house, the slam of the front door ringing in the quiet of the morning around us and making me wince.
Chapter Twenty Three – Stella
‘Is everything all right, love?’ My mum sounded worried as she answered the phone to me, and well she might. Things were not all right in the slightest. Nathan had refused to say a single word to me since his tears and was now holed up in the car while I stood on the pavement, making the call. Seeing his tight posture and blank expression, I chewed on my lower lip, trying to press down the panic that was threatening to engulf me.
‘Honestly? No. Yesterday was hellish, and Nathan’s really struggling with it all.’ Which was a huge understatement, but about the best I could say without completely freaking out. I gave my mum a brief rundown of the situation and she offered to have Will for another night and drive him up to the new house the following lunchtime.
Closing my eyes in relief, I pulled in a shaky breath. I cast another glance at Nathan, who was now staring at his clenched fists. ‘Mum,
that would be amazing, but only if you’re sure?’
‘I love having him, Stella, and it sounds like you need to give Nathan your attention right now. The poor boy must be beside himself after his father’s death.’ Mum and Dad knew Nathan wasn’t really in contact with his parents, but they weren’t aware of his history, or the fact that his dad had been abusive. Now was hardly the time to go into those details, so I just nodded and thanked her again.
‘It’s no trouble,’ she assured me. ‘Besides, we want to see your new house now it’s furnished, so this way we can do both.’
I couldn’t exactly see Nathan wanting to run a guided tour tomorrow, but I kept quiet about that and accepted her kind offer. ‘OK, thanks so much, Mum.’
‘It’s not a problem at all, sweetheart. You two must be feeling quite shocked by everything that’s happened.’
You could say that again. Staring at the blue sky above, I tried to block the myriad of grisly images that threatened to invade my brain again.
‘We don’t want to intrude,’ she went on, ‘but your father and I are happy to stay for a few days next week, too, if you like, just until Marion decides if she’s coming back or not.’
‘OK, let me talk to Nathan and I’ll let you know.’ Glancing at the car again, I saw Nathan clenching and unclenching his fists and decided I needed to get him home as soon as possible. ‘I’ve got to go, Mum. I’ll see you tomorrow.’
To my amazement, Nathan let me drive, silently moving to the passenger seat and belting himself in, which was just another show of how screwed up he must be feeling. With the tension inside the car, it felt like the journey to the new house took hours, but in reality, it was just over forty minutes from South Hampstead.
That was one of the reasons Nathan and I had chosen the location; we had all the benefits of living in the gorgeous countryside of the Cotswolds, but were within easy reach of London if we needed it.
Arriving here for the first time since the house was completed should have been an exciting moment, but Nathan had remained quiet and withdrawn in car and I was starting to worry that I wasn’t going to be able to drag him out of it. He could be so stubborn when he wanted, but he was an immensely proud man, and I had a feeling that his emotional breakdown in front of me would be laying heavy on his mind. We might be together, and stronger than ever, but Nathan was fiercely defensive where it came to his outward appearance. He didn’t tolerate weakness in himself, at all. It was a trait that had no doubt been engrained into him by his father when he was younger, I realised bitterly.