I’m ridiculously pleased that I’m going to see Mark. I’ve missed him. As I send back an email confirming I’ll be there, I notice that the noisy lovemaking appears to have stopped. A picture pops into my mind: Andrei is prone in Anna’s arms, they’re both breathing deeply with post-coital languor. She’s running a hand over his head, ruffling his dark-blond hair, and his blue eyes have softened to dark cornflower. It makes me think of someone stroking a lion. A wild beast is never truly tame. It just decides not to attack you. For now.
An email arrives from Dominic:
Last night was everything I hoped it would be. You’re so gorgeous, I can’t think about you or I’ll get no work done at all. But we’ve got the entire weekend to play with... if you’re not too tied up...
I don’t want to rope you into anything, but keep it free for me
Dx
His jokes awaken the memory of being bound to the bed and send a delicious tremor through my body. A sudden ache of need startles me. I send back a reply.
I’m in knots just thinking about it. My time is yours, my everything is yours... Bx
I try to put aside the distracting memories of what Dominic did to me last night and do some research into Fragonard, but it’s hard to concentrate. After a few minutes, I decide to head to the kitchen for some coffee, offering to get Edward some as well. I hope Sri isn’t around. I pretty much know where all the coffee stuff is now and I don’t like her making it for me when I’m sure she has plenty of other things to do. I’m pleased to see that the kitchen is empty, and I get on with setting up the coffee machine as I’ve seen Sri do it. I’ve got my back to the door, so I only know that someone is behind me when I hear a voice.
‘Is there enough for two more?’
I turn to see Andrei in the doorway wearing a dark-blue cashmere robe that makes his eyes look almost turquoise. ‘Of course,’ I reply politely. ‘I’ve made a whole pot in case anyone else wanted some. It’ll be ready in a moment.’
He advances towards me, his bare feet silent on the wooden floor. I realise I haven’t seen him since we returned to Albany the morning after the party – not since I discovered that he might possibly have drugged me and I might have had high-induced sex with him. No wonder I feel a little awkward. Even though I’m now sure that I didn’t have sex with him, I still feel highly suspicious and resentful about the drink he gave me.
‘How are you getting on with the job?’ he asks, smiling. ‘I’m looking forward to hearing all about it. I haven’t seen you lately, I’ve missed that.’
‘It’s all fine,’ I reply, stiff and unsmiling in return. ‘Nothing to report.’
‘Ah.’ He clearly senses my attitude as his eyes cool and the smile fades. ‘All the same, I’d like a report. First thing on Monday.’
‘Fine.’ I turn back to the coffee pot, which is now full, and reach for two coffee cups from the cupboard.
‘There’s no need, you know,’ he says in a low voice.
‘What do you mean?’
‘No need to be jealous. Of Anna. She’s a good friend and she helps me to release some tension from time to time but it’s not serious.’
I draw in a sharp breath. He really thinks I’m jealous! How on earth has he made that connection?
Andrei goes on: ‘Anna has a passionate nature... as you’ve probably heard. She doesn’t bottle anything up. I’m sorry if it’s made you uncomfortable. I won’t have her here again.’ He reaches out a hand and puts it on the counter, close to mine and adds in a low voice, ‘If you and I were ever to... be together... well, she would be history. Anna understands, she wouldn’t be upset. I want you to know that.’
His words light a fuse of anger in me. I whirl round. ‘Andrei, I know people are usually too frightened to tell you what they really think, but I have to say that if you’re thinking that I’m in here dying of love for you and weeping because I can hear you and Anna in bed, you’re in for a big rethink. I don’t love you, or want you, and I never will, so there’s no point in kicking Anna out of your bed quite yet!’
His eyes flash as he absorbs my words. ‘I see,’ he says in a quiet, cold voice. ‘Perhaps I’ve misunderstood. I was under the impression that we’d become... close... after the party. Obviously that was wrong.’
‘Of course it was. I told you, I have a boyfriend – and besides, a friendly dinner and a flirtatious atmosphere do not make us a couple!’
‘Come on, you don’t expect me to believe in this boyfriend whose name you couldn’t remember. And it was a little more than that, our connection—’
I continue without listening to him, getting angry now. I’ve suffered over the last two days because of what he did, and the guilt and fear it created. It’s all coming out. ‘But that’s the end of it, Andrei, because –’ fury flares up in me and I can feel myself losing control ‘– trying to drug me does not exactly endear me to you either! Do you have any idea how dangerous that was? Not to mention against the law!’
His eyes glitter and he goes very still. ‘What?’
‘You heard me! I know what you did at the party – you gave me that drink, the cocktail. The one spiked with drugs for anyone who wants a really spacy trip, with some hallucinations and memory loss thrown in for free.’
Andrei stares at me, his face impassive. ‘You better think hard before throwing around an accusation like that.’ His voice is low and hard as steel.
‘Are you trying to deny it?’ I retort, feeling reckless. I’ve taken him on – there’s no going back now. The idea that my employer, someone in a position of trust, has done such a terrible thing spurs on my sense of betrayal and hurt. It was just lucky for Andrei that the consequences were no worse, but they could have been. ‘Let’s say you didn’t slip anything in my drink yourself – are you honestly expecting me to believe you don’t know that the house cocktail is a rather spectacular homemade punch? You and Kitty Gould are obviously old friends, and you’re a regular at her little gatherings. You must know how it works.’
‘I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,’ he says. He looks angry now, his mouth hard and his eyes freezing. ‘The house cocktail is not spiked. In fact, it’s not even alcoholic. It’s a virgin Sea Breeze. That’s why I gave it to you. I could see you’d had enough to drink that night.’
I’m stopped in my tracks and for a moment I can only gape at him until I manage to stutter out, ‘What did you say?’
‘You heard. You can ring Kitty Gould herself if you like, and ask her. She’ll tell you that it’s non-alcoholic and certainly drug free.’
My mind is a whirl of confusion. I remember the sweet, innocuous taste of the drink. Perhaps he’s right and it was just fruit juice. Have I got it horribly, appallingly wrong? Oh God, what have I done and said? I feel afraid. I’ve misjudged him... haven’t I? But I was drugged; I know I was. I’ve never felt that way before, never. And if the drink is served clean, then that means that Andrei must be lying to me. He must have spiked it himself.
He’s taken a few steps nearer and I can smell the musky scent of his cologne mixed with the warmth of a body after sex. It has a strangely heady effect on me, but I try to ignore it. His gaze is raking my face. ‘I can see you don’t believe me. I don’t know what makes you assume you were drugged – I think you have confused it with the effects of champagne mixed with a strong vodka martini after quite a lot of wine at dinner. You were drunk, Beth. I would never hurt you and I’m deeply wounded that you think I would abuse your trust like that.’ He’s looking deep into my eyes, that piercing sea-blue gaze almost hypnotic in its intensity. ‘Well?’
He’s so persuasive and compelling. One part of me is telling me not to trust him, and another is totally convinced by his words. No wonder this man has succeeded in life. His power is incredibly potent.
‘I can see you don’t truly believe I would hurt you,’ he murmurs, getting closer to me. The knowledge that only a thin layer of cashmere lies between me and Andrei’s naked body is making me a little dizzy
. He’s so tall and broad, and so close. His scent fills my nostrils, and the warmth of his skin almost seems to caress mine. ‘Trust your judgement,’ he says quietly. ‘You know that whatever happens is of your own free will and nothing more... don’t deny it. Don’t resist what you know in your heart. I feel it. I know you do too...’
He’s so close to me now. My heart is racing and I can feel my chest rising and falling more quickly. I’m responding to his proximity without wanting to, it’s almost automatic. He’s intoxicating me with the strength of his masculinity and his powerful will. He begins to bend his head down so that his face is almost touching mine and I know that he’s only a moment away from kissing me. My breathing is rapid now. I want to resist but I’m frozen. At least I think I want to resist... There’s nothing in my mind but his nearness and the way my body can’t help tingling in response.
‘Andrei, where’s that coffee? You’ve been an age!’
The rich Russian voice breaks in and I shake my head as if waking up from a daydream. As I try to figure out what was just happening, Andrei turns towards the door, where Anna is standing in her red silk robe, eyebrows raised imperiously and a suspicious look on her face.
Andrei speaks to her in a voice of quiet authority. ‘I’m bringing it now, Anna. Go back to the bedroom.’
She lingers for a moment, looking first at me and then at Andrei, obviously reluctant to leave us together, but she daren’t disobey. With a flounce, she turns on her heel and leaves.
I’m grateful to her. The interruption has given me the chance to come back to my senses. I’m horrified at myself for almost giving in, but also at Andrei. What is it with this man? There’s no end to his arrogance. Even though I’ve just accused him of spiking my drink, he still thinks I’ll come running whenever he likes. But it almost worked. If his lips had met mine, I don’t quite know what I would have done, and that makes me ashamed of myself. Where’s my self-control?
I never want to betray Dominic and what we’ve got! Never. Just as he would never betray me.
My anger at myself makes me blush hard and move away quickly.
‘I don’t care what she thinks,’ Andrei says, an urgent tone in his voice. ‘And neither should you.’
I turn on him, my voice hard. ‘You don’t get it, do you? I’m not interested. Sleep with Anna, marry her for all I care! Just leave me alone. Our relationship is strictly professional, do you understand? And once this job is complete, I’ll be out of here for good. I, for one, can’t wait.’ I turn and pour the coffee into my cup so forcefully that it splashes all over the counter-top. ‘I’m sorry if I’ve accused you unjustly but the fact I thought it might be true speaks volumes. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get back to work.’
I push past him, ignoring his angry expression and stride out, feeling his gaze burning into me as I leave.
I’m trembling with the adrenalin rush when I get back to the study. I’m elated to have spoken my mind but also scared. I just talked to Andrei Dubrovski in a way that no one does. At least, no one who values the luxuries of life, like unbroken arms and legs, not to mention their job.
Let him sack me. I don’t care. I’m not going to be treated like that.
A voice whispers to me: Treated like what? You were the one who almost let him kiss you.
I don’t like that voice at all. Not a bit. I refuse to listen. Andrei is the villain here, a liar and an exploiter and a man who is sleeping with one woman while coming on to another – one who happens to be completely uninterested and his employee to boot. It’s all very unedifying stuff as far as I can see.
It’s a relief to escape at lunchtime and leave Albany. Outside the air is crisp and the day bright. The sun is shining in a mellow autumnal way, bathing everything in light, but a sharp breeze is cooling and invigorating. As I walk down Piccadilly, I notice that the trees in Green Park are beginning to turn bronze and piles of leaves are already appearing. On the top of the tour buses, tourists are well wrapped up in puffy coats and scarves. I walk past Park Lane and then around Hyde Park Corner and down towards Belgrave Square. Here the houses are great white palaces with pillars and balconies and grand front doors. Many have flags to show that they’ve become embassies now, and the cars parked around look like diplomatic issue. I breathe deeply as I walk, trying to find some calm amid all the emotional confusion. Just when my relationship with Dominic looked back on track, this extra drama starts unfolding around me. I’m sure that as soon as I’m free of Dubrovski, everything will be fine.
But... I know that despite the mind-blowing sex yesterday, I’m feeling worried about what is happening with Dominic. I try not to dwell on it, telling myself that the weekend will iron out all the kinks. We’ve been apart for a long time, after a crisis in our relationship. No wonder it’s going to take a little while to get everything running smoothly. The main thing is that we love one another and we’re committed.
I resolutely shut out the memory of my body’s treacherous response to Andrei. As far as I’m concerned, it didn’t happen. Perhaps I’ll never know the truth about whether I was drugged or not, but it doesn’t matter now. It was Dominic in that passageway. I cling on to that fact like it’s a life raft.
Lunch with Mark is like returning to civilisation from the battlefield. His house is a haven of peace and taste and he is the serene heart of it.
We eat a simple lunch of salad Niçoise with glasses of very cold Sancerre, and I tell him about my work. I don’t enlighten him as to the more intimate events going on in Albany, and I don’t mention the party, or Anna’s presence, but talk about the works I’ve discovered and my ideas for them. Mark listens and comments. He has a magnificent memory and he can recall just about everything he’s ever bought for Andrei.
As we eat lemon sorbet served with tiny langues du chat, I tell him about the Fragonard I’ve fallen in love with. Occasionally, as I glance at some beautiful object or savour the delicious food, I think how radically my life has changed in the last four months. Earlier this year, I was a waitress in a café in my hometown, without a clue what I wanted to do with my life. I spent my spare time hanging out with the boyfriend I thought I loved but who, in reality, was a bit of slob who took me for granted. I was devastated when Adam cheated but I’m grateful to him now. Without his bad behaviour, would I be sitting today in a beautiful Belgravia house discussing Fragonard with a leading art expert? Would I have my dream job and a man in life I truly love? Very unlikely. I’d probably still be serving prawn sandwiches and mugs of tea, and cooking fry-ups for Adam. What a near miss that was! My life has taken some lucky turns, and I’m grateful for it.
When I’ve finished relating my find and sharing my enthusiasm for the reading girl, Mark nods.
‘Yes,’ he says. ‘I know the piece. I think it’s an excellent choice and something that will appeal very much to Andrei. He has a particular affinity with France, no doubt because of his country’s history. The Russian aristocracy prided themselves on their French style and ways, much as these days the oligarchs’ wives display their wealth and taste by wearing Chanel and Givenchy.’
‘I almost wish we could keep the painting ourselves,’ I say. ‘She’d look marvellous in your drawing room.’
‘There are enough beautiful works of art to go around, thank goodness, but I know how hard it is to part with something you love. However, we dealers must learn to let go. I think Andrei will like what you’ve chosen.’ Mark smiles at me again. Is it my imagination, or is he looking thinner? Perhaps a little, in the face. Otherwise he looks normal, if tired. ‘I’m longing to have you back, Beth.’
‘I can’t wait to return,’ I say honestly.
‘Aren’t you having fun?’
‘The work is great, but being there is a bit like living in a big game park. I’m never quite sure if I’m about to become someone’s lunch.
He laughs. ‘You’ll be fine. You can handle yourself very well. You’re strong enough to take them all on, even if you don’t yet know it.’<
br />
I laugh too as I think: I hope he’s right. Something tells me I’m going to need all the strength I can get.
Chapter Fourteen
I’m so pleased that it’s Friday night that I almost don’t mind when Dominic sends a message to say he’s going to be busy that evening. After all, we’ll have most of the weekend together and I’m exhausted by everything that’s happened in the week. When Laura suggests a quiet night in together with a Thai takeaway and a film, it sounds pretty irresistible.
It’s a relief to close my mind to the possible repercussions of what happened with Andrei and everything else that’s bothering me. I enjoy chilling with Laura; just two girls in pyjama bottoms and cosy jumpers, eating noodles and laughing uproariously at the movie we’ve downloaded. When she asks how things are going, I don’t go into details, just reassure her that I’m happy now that Dominic is back, and warn her that I’ll be away for most of the weekend.
‘And this little art gig of yours comes to an end next week?’ she asks.
I nod. ‘Yup. And it can’t come soon enough. I’ve seen enough of the millionaire lifestyle to last me into the next decade.’
‘Come on,’ she teases, ‘when Dominic asks you to elope, you’re going to end up dripping in diamonds and bathing in asses’ milk.’
‘No, thank you!’ I retort and toss a cushion at her, which she dodges. ‘That’s really not me. A country cottage, a garden and normal happiness, that’s all I want.’
‘I don’t believe that,’ Laura returns. ‘You’re ambitious and you want to make your mark. You might think you want a cosy life and domestic bliss, but you’d hate it soon enough. You’re made for adventure, Beth. Remember when you got back from Croatia? You were so excited and keen to do more travelling. Excuse me if I find the whole retirement dream a bit unconvincing.’
Secrets After Dark Page 18
