“Do you want to go get lunch with us?” Amelia’s friend Meghan asked. “It would be more fun than what you’re about to have to sit through.”
“I wish,” Amelia said regretfully. “David’s mother would never forgive me. It would make things even more awkward than they already are.”
Meghan wrapped an arm around Amelia’s waist, squeezing her close in a hug. “Want to get coffee with me tomorrow then? Nothing like a good bitch-fest to blow off some steam.”
“You've got yourself a deal,” Amelia said. She saw David’s family beginning to filter out towards the exit. “That’s my cue. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Good luck.”
Amelia snorted ungracefully and turned to catch up with David. She linked her arm through his, trying to appear chipper. “Lunch?”
“Exactly where we’re headed.”
It was hard for Amelia to keep her pasted on smile intact. Mrs. Goldstein, as usual, barely acknowledged her. “PhD in economics?” she’d said in passing. “That must be very challenging.” It was the closest she’d ever come to giving her a compliment. Amelia sipped at her glass of white wine and picked at her fettucine, all the while listening with half an ear to the chatter about David’s law degree and how many job offers he’d had already.
It irritated her more than a little. She was on course to complete her PhD program in four years, an incredible feat. Amelia had practically lived at her desk when she wasn’t working shifts at the coffee shop and she was damned proud of her self-discipline. David had taken a gap year after his undergraduate degree, and treated his law degree with a lack of seriousness that pissed Amelia off. His grades didn’t matter as he had enough connections to land a top job no matter what. She loved many things about David, but she felt he took his advantages for granted, and this side of him she most definitely didn't love.
Against all odds, she survived lunch and David dropped her off at the apartment before giving his parents a ride back to their hotel. Amelia tossed her purse and cap and gown onto the couch, tugging down the zipper of her dress as she walked into the bedroom. She changed into her favorite pair of leggings and sweatshirt then sank onto the side of their bed.
It seemed so strange to have the evening stretching out in front of her, with nothing pressing to do.
She wandered into the kitchen. David was responsible for doing the grocery shopping, and he was usually good about making sure everything was stocked. She dug some items out and started chopping, not entirely sure what she was making, but wanting to be busy. Cooking was always very relaxing for her, and even when she’d been in the thick of school, she’d tried to cook at least a couple of times a week. David liked to go out on the weekends, and while the dinners out were nice, Amelia loved the coziness of dinner at home, a glass of wine or two, and a roaring fire.
She was so engrossed in what she was doing, she barely heard the door open. David sneaked up on her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “You looked amazing today,” he whispered in her ear. “I’m sorry I ignored you but you know how my mother is.”
“Yeah, I do.”
She felt David sigh against the back of her neck, and she set down the knife she’d been chopping with, turning in his arms. “Do you think she’s ever going to get used to me?”
“Of course she will,” David said, tucking a few strands of hair behind Amelia’s ear. “She’s just slow to warm up to people, especially the woman dating her favorite son.”
“You’re her only son.”
“Then I must be right,” David laughed. “Look, she’s overprotective. That’s all.”
“And a little snooty,” Amelia added, raising an eyebrow. “Come on, you have to admit that much.”
David frowned. “She’s just used to things being a certain way.”
“And her son dating a brainy Midwestern girl isn't that 'certain way.'”
“Amelia, you just have to be patient. Eventually she will accept that you’re the woman I love, and she will warm up to you. It’s just going to take time.”
Amelia sighed, and squeezed his arm before turning back to the counter. “I know,” she said. “It’s just exhausting.”
“Well, she’s only here for the weekend.”
“Meghan asked me to meet up with her in the morning.”
David paused for a moment. “I suppose I can take my parents out to breakfast alone.”
“Surely they’d like to spend some time with just you. I really need a breather, David.”
“Aren’t you getting one now? It’s only for this weekend.”
“Just let me have the morning tomorrow. Your mother will be thrilled to get time with you without me hanging around, trust me.”
David was quiet, and Amelia knew that he knew she was right.
“You can’t keep trying to force us into the same room and hope that we’ll suddenly become best friends.”
“You’re right of course.” David pecked her on the cheek. “I’ll be in the living room. Call me when dinner’s ready.”
Today should have felt good. She’d worked so hard to get to this point and the only thing she felt was sad. The day had been all about David and his success. A milestone that he didn’t even seem to appreciate.
She poured a glass of red wine. Maybe it was better to just let it go. The situation hadn't changed in four years and was unlikely to do so anytime soon.
“Thanks for doing this,” David said as they sat down. She’d wound up making a chicken and vegetable casserole with a pastry crust. She poured another glass of wine for herself and one for him, before serving up the meal.
“I really am proud of you. Look, I know you felt left out today, and I’m sorry. You are amazing, you know that right?”
“Thank you,” Amelia said softly. “I appreciate it.”
“My family will come around eventually.”
“I hope so,” Amelia said. “It’s frustrating, David. I feel like this burden, a drag on your life.”
“You know that’s not what I think.”
“I know. But when we spend time with your family, you don’t stick up for me. You just let them push me to the side.”
“You can’t expect me to get into fights with my family just because you don’t feel you’re getting enough attention.”
“It’s not about attention,” Amelia sighed. “You’re making me sound spoiled. It’s that they wish I wasn’t there, and you let them act that way.”
“Do we have to argue about this tonight? I have some good news I wanted to tell you.”
Amelia bit her lower lip. “Okay. What is it?”
“I’ve been offered a job at a law firm in New York City. My father’s brother-in-law is a partner there, and he’s offered me some great perks and starting salary. I’m going to accept.”
Amelia slowly set down her fork.
“I’m going to sit in on a conference call with my father tomorrow while he’s in town. That way he can help me with all the final negotiations.”
“But…” Amelia took a deep breath. “You didn’t say anything to me about moving. I’ve been applying to jobs here, and I have a couple of good leads. You didn’t even talk to me about it.”
“I thought you would want to be with me wherever I was. This is a good opportunity for me, Amelia.”
“You can work anywhere. It’s going to be much harder for me to find a job.”
“You don’t even have to work if you don’t want to, Amelia. I’m going to make more than enough for both of us, and I have my trust and inheritance on top of that. You’ll never have to worry about money.”
“That’s your money, David. I didn’t spend all this time working on my degrees so that I could live off someone else. I don’t have any contacts in NYC. I can’t believe you just assumed I would move there because you decided we should!” Amelia was struggling to keep her anger in check.
“I’d like to be closer to my family,” David said. “This would give me that opportunity. Also, I’m not going to find
a job with perks and a salary like this anywhere else.”
“Did you ever consider that maybe I don’t want to be closer to your family, David? And why would I? They make it very clear that I’m not welcome, and that they wish you weren’t dating me. If we live in New York, your mother is going to be over all the time, sticking her nose into things, and trying her damndest to make me feel inferior. You won’t stand up for me, so I’m on my own!” Amelia paused. “What exactly do you see for our future, David? I’m starting to think that our ideas are very different.”
“I expected that we would move to wherever I got a job, find a place, get settled, find you a job, and then.” He paused. “This isn’t how I wanted to have this discussion, Amelia.”
“It isn’t how I wanted to have it either, yet here we are. Go on.”
“And then I thought I would propose to you within the next year! Not that I wanted to tell you that during an argument!”
Amelia paused. “Did you ever think that maybe we should sit down and have this discussion together, and decide how we want to move forward? How do you even know I want to get married?”
“Doesn’t every girl?”
“Well, no,” Amelia said. “Although I do,” she admitted, after a pause. “But the point is, David, you’ve just assumed all of this. You’ve assumed everything about our future, without even talking to me. How would you feel if I had just decided to accept a job back in my hometown, and assumed you would move there with me?”
“You wouldn’t, and there’s no jobs there for you.”
“That’s not the point.” Amelia took a deep breath.
“Don’t you want me to be happy?”
“Of course I want you to be happy, David. But I want to be happy, too. And this is all a shock. I didn’t know you were even considering moving to New York, much less that you already have a job you’re planning on accepting. This is a lot to take in all at once.”
“I’m sorry that this isn’t what you were envisioning. But you never instigated a discussion about what we would be doing after we graduated. Neither one of us made this a priority.”
“I didn’t have any reason to think we’d be moving.”
David sighed, and set down his fork. “I think we should maybe take a break, Amelia.”
“What?” She felt the blood drain from her face. That escalated fast! How had they gone from having a disagreement to being on the verge of breaking up? “I don’t want to do that, David.”
“I think you maybe need some time on your own to decide what you want. You don’t have a lot of life experience, Amelia. You moved here for college, dated a couple guys and then we met. And that was it for you.”
“I thought we were it for you, too.”
“I love you, Amelia. But I don’t want to force you into a decision that you aren’t sure is right for you. I want you to be all in in this relationship, not wondering if you made the right choice or are just going along because it’s easier.”
“What do you mean…take a break? Break up?”
“Yes.” David took a deep breath. “I think we should break up. For a little while, at least. I’m going to accept the job in New York. It’s the right decision for me and for my career. I want you to be a part of that, Amelia. I want to have a future with you. But you need to be sure. I think that you should apply to jobs wherever you think you would like to be, whether that’s here or somewhere else altogether, but also apply to some in New York. And then we will see what happens. If you get an offer and you want to move, then we will go from there. Or maybe if you get a job nearby—like D.C. or something like that, we can do long-distance for a bit until we decide where we want to settle down. But I have to do what’s right for my future.
“If we’re really meant to be together, shouldn’t we be staying together through all of this? Shouldn’t we be making these decisions as a team?”
“I feel very strongly that this is the right decision for me, Amelia. I’m sorry if it isn’t right for you. But that’s something you need to think about.” He paused. “I do love you by the way,” he repeated. “This isn’t about my feelings for you. It’s about our happiness, mine and yours.”
“It’s not you, it’s me,” Amelia muttered, her voice thick with sarcasm. “All of this could have been avoided if we’d just talked things out weeks ago.”
“Communication, another one of our problems.” He took a deep breath. “Just think about it, Amelia, please. I don’t think you would be so unhappy in New York. But it must be your decision.”
Amelia looked down at her lap. She felt her throat tightening, and she took a deep breath, refusing to cry. “Okay then,” she said finally. “I’ll think about it. So, what do we do now?”
“You can stay in the apartment. I’ll go stay with a friend. Don’t worry about anything. If we don’t work things out, then we will worry about the lease and all that.”
“Is this like a real breakup?” Amelia bit her lip.
“I think it should be.” David reached across the table for her hand. “I think this needs to be real for us to make the choices that will be best for the future. We shouldn’t be worrying about the other person or how it will affect them. We should make the decisions we need to make for ourselves and then if those bring us back together, then we know this is really the best relationship for us.”
Amelia took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. She didn’t want to be emotional. David was being so calm and rational about it, and she didn’t want to burst into tears at the table. She pulled her hand back. “Okay then, she said. “That’s that. We’re on our own.”
“I don’t want you to be angry with me,” David said.
“I’m not angry,” Amelia replied, and she realized as she said it that it was the truth. “I’m surprised, and sad, and tired. And I think I want to be alone.”
“I’ll get my stuff together,” David said. “I’m sure Brian or Josh will be okay with me crashing for a few nights. I’ll figure things out from there.”
“Okay.” Amelia sat, feeling stunned, as David got up from the table and went to the bedroom. She heard the sound of a zipper as he started packing his things, and she bit her lip hard, trying to stem the tears that were welling up. How had it spun out of control this quickly? Should she just have gone along with his plan to go to New York, instead of arguing? It wasn’t as if she had a firm job offer here, yet. Maybe she was wrong to fight it so hard. Was her pride worth sacrificing this relationship for?
In that moment, she felt like rushing into the bedroom and telling David that she’d made a mistake, that she would go to New York, that she didn’t want to break up. But she didn’t. Some small part of her realized that he was right, that she needed to decide what she wanted for herself, on her own. And that same small part of her was starting to feel good at the idea of being free. He was right. She didn’t have any experience of the world outside of where she’d grown up, and the insulated bubble of college that she’d been in for the last eight years. Maybe she needed some of this freedom that was suddenly being dumped in her lap.
Amelia got up and started clearing the table, trying to keep her mind off of David packing. After a short while, he came out with his canvas duffel bag slung over his shoulder. He walked straight to her, wrapping an arm around her waist and planting a kiss on her forehead. “I’ll talk to you soon,” he said. “Just think about it.”
Amelia waited until the door was firmly shut behind him before walking into the bedroom, and sinking down onto the bed, finally letting her eyes well up with tears. It didn’t matter if he was right. It didn’t matter if this was going to give her a chance to make sure that she was doing the right thing for herself. It still hurt. She rolled onto her side, burying her face into the pillow.
Chapter 3
“He did what?” Meghan’s voice was high and shrill and Amelia’s eyes widened as she gestured for her friend to keep it down.
She’d met Meghan for brunch, not wanting to get up early after the ev
ents of the night before. Meghan was on her second mimosa, and Amelia was sipping at a Bloody Mary, hoping that it would help to at least blunt her emotional hangover.
“He’s accepting a job in New York,” Amelia said patiently. “And he wants us to break up for a while—I mean, we are breaking up for a while—until I decide if I want to move or not.”
“And he didn’t even discuss it with you? He just decided on his own? Out of nowhere?”
Amelia sighed. “Yes.”
“That’s not okay,” Meghan said. “Your relationship should be more important to him than a corner office and a higher paycheck.”
Amelia shrugged. “He spent all of college counting on his dad’s connections to get a job. I did know that. I guess I just assumed he’d use those connections to get a job here. But he wants to be closer to his family.”
“His family doesn’t like you,” Meghan pointed out.
“I know,” Amelia said. “It’s one of the reasons I’m not sure I want to go. I feel like his mother is always going to be in my business if we live there. She hates that I’m dating her son—was dating her son,” she amended. “She’s probably thrilled to hear that we’ve broken up.”
“But is it a real breakup?” Meghan asked. “I mean, he said he still wants you to apply for jobs there and that you guys will discuss it once your job offers come in.”
“It’s a real breakup,” Amelia confirmed. “He doesn’t want us to feel beholden to each other in any way.” She bit her lip. “And honestly, I sort of agree with him. If we’re together, or just ‘on a break’, I would feel pushed to move. I need to figure this out on my own.”
“He’s being an ass,” Meghan stated flatly.
“Yes,” Amelia admitted. “He is being an ass, but he’s also right. It is the best choice for him, given his options. And I should do what’s best for me.” She took a sip of her drink. “Doesn’t this happen all the time to couples after they graduate?”
Three if by Sea: MMF Bisexual Romance Page 2
