They were utterly still for a moment, their bodies slick with sweat, and Amelia wondered for a moment if she could even move, or if she would crumple to the ground when he pulled away from her. He slid out of her, and for a moment she felt like she might do just that, and then she straightened slowly.
He reached for her, pulling her against him, and she breathed him in again, smoke and musk, and felt the warm weight of him against her. She felt secure, wrapped in his arms, and she rested her head against his chest for a moment.
“Come back to my place,” he said. “I know you can handle it here on your own, but I’d feel safer if you were with me. And I know my place is set up for a storm.”
As if to underscore his point, the windows rattled with the force of the wind, and Amelia jumped a little. She opened her mouth to say no anyway, that she’d be fine, and then another, harder gust of wind slammed into the window. Her face paled a little, and she nodded.
“Okay,” she said. “I’ll come back with you.”
Adam smiled, and leaned down, laying a soft kiss against her lips. “I meant it,” he said. “No worries about the future, no promises, nothing but what we have right now. Let’s just enjoy it. And I won’t turn you down again.”
“I thought you just said no promises,” Amelia teased gently.
“Well, maybe just the one.”
Chapter 14
“It’s so beautiful,” she said, staring out of the window.
“You’re from Chicago, you’ve seen snow before,” Adam said, glancing at her as he took her bag from her and tossed it behind the seats in his truck.
“Yes, but it’s not the same,” Amelia said. How could she explain the difference? “In Chicago it gets dirty so fast. They clear it out of the streets fast, obviously, and so it’s just big piles of dirty snow that turns into slush along the sidewalks.” She stared out over the field, where the snow was beginning to cling to the ground already, frosting the already bleak landscape. “This…this is like something off a Christmas card. It’s so beautiful.”
Adam came to stand next to her, putting her arm around his waist. “I never really stopped to think about it like that,” he said, following her gaze. “I suppose it really is beautiful. I’ve been in the city, to Edinburgh and Glasgow, but never during the winter. I guess I’ve taken all this for granted.”
“It snows a lot in Wisconsin too,” Amelia said. “Where I’m from. But still, this is different. Maybe just because it’s a new place, it’s not home for me.”
Adam looked down at her, and his expression was odd. He opened his mouth as if he were going to say something, but he bent and kissed her instead, his lips warm against hers.
Adam pulled back after a moment. “We should get going before the storm proper hits,” he said.
Amelia followed him to his truck, while shielding her face against the elements. Adam turned the key in the ignition, frowning at the groaning noise the vehicle made as it roared to life. “I think she’s about on her last legs,” he said, patting the steering wheel and reaching to turn on the heat. “Thankfully, we don’t have far to go.”
She stared out the window as they drove, watching the snow fall, everything rapidly going to white. He hopped out of the truck as soon as it came to a halt, coming around to open her door. “Go ahead and go inside,” he said. “I need to check on the animals before it gets any worse.”
“Let me help,” Amelia said.
“Are you sure?” he frowned. “It’s freezing out. You’ll be more comfortable inside.”
“I’m sure,” Amelia insisted.
Adam raised an eyebrow. “Okay, then.” He grabbed her bag out of the truck. “We’ll stash this in the tack room for a minute until we’re done.”
She followed him to the barn, and he gestured towards a room at the beginning of the stalls. “There’s hay in there. Pull off a flake…a section,” he explained, “and give two to each of the horses. I’ll check the sheep.”
He headed back out, and Amelia listened to the wind rattle at the windows as she began to pull hay off the bales, sneezing at the dust that swirled around her as she did so. The horses seemed unconcerned about the storm, nickering and stomping as she went from stall to stall, filling the nets. She quickened her pace as a gust of wind blew down the aisle of the barn.
Adam came back into the barn just as she was finishing up, pulling off his thick work gloves. “The sheep and goats are all settled,” he said. “All done?”
“I think they’re good,” Amelia said, patting the dark grey mare she’d just fed. “They don’t seem worried about the storm at all.”
“Ah, well, they’ve seen a few,” Adam said. “Let’s get inside, yeah?” He hoisted her bag over his shoulder, and they walked back to the house, heads bent against the wind.
“Do you mind putting the kettle on while I get a fire started?” Adam asked, setting down her bag just inside the door.
“Not at all,” Amelia replied, glancing at him.
“Thanks,” Adam said, flashing her a smile as he unbuttoned his parka, shivering a little as he headed towards the living room.
Amelia watched him go, admiring the long, muscular line of his body. After he disappeared from view, she filled the kettle. It was all very domestic, she thought, as she turned on the gas stove and set the kettle down. They seemed to have fallen back into comfortable familiarity with each other quickly, just like the Christmas night that she’d stayed over, the early part at least. Adam was quick to pull away, but also quick to get comfortable again. She didn’t know if that was a good thing or not, but she had to admit she liked the way things were just at this moment.
Amelia was pulling out the teapot and cups when he came back into the kitchen. He smelled of wood chips and smoke and she breathed him in as he bent to kiss her. She could get used to this, even though she knew she shouldn’t. No promises, he’d said. They only had the time they had and she would need to be satisfied with that.
They curled onto the couch in front of the fire, and Amelia tried to do some work on her laptop, but after about an hour she gave in. The crackling of the fire, mixed with the howling wind outside, and the soothing vanilla and bergamot of the tea, made her feel cozy and relaxed. She put her laptop aside and reached for one of the books she’d brought with her. She pulled the plaid wool blanket around her feet, and tucked them under the edge of Adam’s leg. He’d been reading a novel for the past half hour, and he glanced at her, smiling as she opened her book. “Not really a night for work, is it?” he said.
“That’s what I was just thinking.” Amelia poured them both another cup of tea, and then she settled back into the soft cushions of the couch, for the moment content.
The nights she had had here in Scotland, she realized, were some of the most peaceful she’d ever spent. In Chicago, the television would have been blaring in the background, even if they weren’t watching anything. There would have been noise from the street, cars and horns interspersed with people yelling. She missed the noise, a little, but not enough to wish herself back there. At least not yet.
Eventually, Adam set his book down. “Ready to go to bed?” he asked, glancing over at her.
Amelia yawned. "Yes. I’m pretty tired.”
Adam stood up, stretching, and then he leaned over to kiss her gently. “This is nice,” he murmured against her lips.
She watched as he banked the fire. Amelia couldn’t help but think of the last time she’d been doing just this, when their Christmas had ended abruptly with him telling her they couldn’t do this any longer, and she’d gone to sleep alone in the guest room. She wouldn’t be sleeping alone tonight, and was aware of how fast it had all turned around. Didn’t that mean it could flip back just as quickly? Did it even matter?
As she walked into the bedroom, Adam was taking his undershirt off, his flannel button-down already tossed on the bed. She watched the muscles of his back flex as he pulled it over his head, and she had a sudden urge to walk over to him and run her fingers do
wn the divot of his spine. She knew that his skin would feel smooth and warm, and she felt a flush of heat at the thought.
He turned to look at her then, and she walked over to him, stretching up to kiss him, with her hands flat on the planes of his chest. The soft hair there tickled the tips of her fingers, and she felt him breathe in, his hands slipping to the small of her back. “How tired are you, exactly?” she whispered against his mouth, and she felt the corners of it turn up as he grabbed a handful of her ass, wrapping his other arm around her waist and picking her up so that her legs went around him.
“Wide awake. Very, very awake in fact,” he said, turning and tossing her onto the mattress with ease, his long body stretching over hers as she looked up at him.
She was awake, naked under the covers, feeling the soft vibrations of his snoring against the back of her neck. His arm was slung untidily over her waist. She could still hear the wind outside, but not as strongly as before. The storm was winding down, and she wondered what it looked like outside.
Amelia pushed back the covers gently, sliding out from underneath Adam’s arm. She walked naked to the window, pushing the curtain aside. The snow had stopped, and the clouds had parted just enough for the moon to shimmer through. The snow lay in thick drifts, pushing up against the side of the house, and covering the field. She put a hand against the cold glass, tracing a fingertip down the pane.
There were footsteps behind her, soft against the wood floor, and she felt Adam behind her, his hand touching her arm. “Can’t sleep?” he asked, and he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her against him. He was naked, too, and she couldn’t help but arch her back, feeling him press against the curve of her ass. “Come back to bed,” he murmured against her hair, and she shivered at the warmth of his breath against her ear.
“Okay,” she whispered, turning in the circle of his arms. The glimmer of moonlight was falling across his face, and she ran her fingers down his cheek where it touched him. He turned his head, kissing the tips of her fingers, and she sighed, melting into him. If only it could stay just like this, she thought as he backed her towards the bed, and she fell back onto the mattress, his hands sliding slowly down her body.
Chapter 15
She woke in the morning to silence. The wind had stopped, and the space where Adam slept had gone cold. She sat up, the blankets pooling in her lap, and pushed her hair away from her face, blinking in the pale light filtering past the curtains.
She heard the front door swing open, and the sound of Adam’s boots crunching in the entryway. Before she could think about getting up, she saw his tall frame duck around the doorway, and he took in the sight of her sitting up, naked in bed, his eyebrows rising with appreciation. “All men should be lucky enough to walk in to a vision like that,” he said, walking over to give her a kiss. Amelia smiled against his mouth, and ran her hands down his sides, her fingers working their way under his shirt.
“Oh no,” he said, grasping her hands in his. “You’ve worn me out, woman. Besides, I’m starving. How does breakfast sound?”
Amelia fake-pouted, smiling at him. “Breakfast does sound pretty good,” she admitted. She slid out of bed and stretched as he walked away. She felt sore in the most delicious way. The room was chilly but not freezing, and she dressed more slowly than usual, pulling on her jeans and a thick wool sweater. By the time she’d splashed some water on her face and brushed her teeth, the smell the of frying ham was filling the house.
Adam was setting a plate on the table as she walked in, and Amelia sat down, and poured herself a cup of tea. In Chicago she’d always started the day with coffee, but she was rapidly getting used to, and even enjoying, drinking tea instead.
She was hungrier than she’d realized, and she was halfway through the plate by the time Adam sat down across from her and poured his own cup of tea. “This is delicious,” she said, “Where did you learn to cook?”
“Oh you know,” he said. “Living by myself, I got tired of eating crap all of the time.”
“I wasn’t very good at cooking when I first lived alone,” Amelia laughed. “I got a bit better over time. It was that or eat out every night.”
“I take it your boyfriend wasn’t much of a cook?”
“My ex? No. Not at all. He grew up in a house with servants, maids, a cook, the whole shebang. I don’t think he ever even thought about cooking for himself.”
Adam raised an eyebrow. “Maids and a cook, hmm? Sounds very fancy. Not what you were used to then?”
Amelia shook her head. “I grew up in the rural Midwest. Kind of like here, really, except not as pretty.”
Adam laughed.
“I couldn’t wait to move to the city,” she said. “But no…having servants was never something I pictured. I always felt very awkward when I’d go to his parents’ house. It just seemed strange.”
Adam was quiet for a few minutes, looking down at his plate. “What caused you to break up with him?” he finally asked.
Amelia glanced at him, startled. Personal questions were not usually his thing. “It was a lot of stuff,” she said. “A lot of little things that finally all came to a head, I suppose.” She shrugged, pushing her eggs around the edge of her plate. “We didn’t talk about the future much. I was always uncomfortable with how much money he had—just his inheritance and trust fund could have carried us for life without him ever having a job. Also, he was so reliant on his father’s connections that he didn’t really try during school. He just sort of skated through, and there I was, killing myself to finish my PhD as fast as possible.”
“I see,” Adam said softly. “So you resented him.”
Amelia nodded. “I guess I did. And then after graduation, he said we were moving to New York City for a job he was taking. A friend of his father’s. He never asked, never even mentioned it to me, just assumed I would up and go.” She sighed. “So we broke up, I suppose. We did leave it a bit open-ended, I agreed to look for some jobs in New York and consider moving. But the more time passes the more unlikely it is we'll get back together. I haven’t even spoken to him since the flight over here.”
She looked up and saw that he was looking directly at her. “He was a fool to let you go,” he said. Amelia started to laugh, but his face was utterly serious. “He had you and he couldn’t be bothered to include you in his plans. He’s an idiot, and you’re well shot of him.”
Amelia stared at him, surprised. “You really mean that, don’t you?”
He nodded, reaching for her hand. “Amelia…if I had that chance with you, the chance to make this a real thing, I would do everything in my power to keep you.”
Amelia squeezed his hand. She thought of the time they’d spent together so far, that first night when he’d been just a kind, handsome stranger who’d offered to help her out and the amazing sex that followed. Her thoughts went to the glorious horseback ride to the stream, Christmas dinner together followed by the surprise bad ending. And last night, when he’d showed up on her doorstep because he was worried about how she would fare in the storm.
“I feel the same way about you but there is no way this can work,” she said finally. “What I had with David was my first real relationship, and I think I felt a lot of pressure to make that work, to see it through regardless. It was scary to think of going out on my own again but I shouldn't have worried, I’m more okay on my own than I thought I would be.” She took a deep breath. “And that’s just the thing. I didn’t come here for a relationship. What does that mean if I immediately fall back into one? And I don’t see how it would work, like we’ve both said before. I can’t ask you to move to the States with me—this land is a part of you. You are rooted here. and it wouldn’t be any different from what David did to me. Besides, I can’t just uproot and move here.”
“You could fit in here,” Adam said, and he immediately pressed his lips together, as if he thought he shouldn’t have said it. Amelia felt a dart of happiness at his words, a quick thrill, but she tamped it down. This can’
t work, she reminded herself.
“I wouldn’t though,” she said softly. “It’s peaceful, and beautiful, and I’ve loved being here, but I don’t think this could be my life. I’ve spent years getting my degrees—what would I do here? Just work on the farm and take care of horses?”
She saw immediately that she’d hurt his feelings. “I see,” he said quietly, and she heard in his voice all the things he didn’t say. She couldn’t take her words back though, just like she couldn't just throw away her education and ambition. Taking care of horses for years would be mind-numbing.
She squeezed his hand again, but he pulled it away, standing up to clear the table.
“Adam,” she said. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I understand exactly what you meant,” he said quietly. “You’ve worked hard to be where you are, and you don’t see that you could be happy living my sort of life.”
Three if by Sea: MMF Bisexual Romance Page 9
