by Kat Mizera
“I thought tonight was our second wedding reception!” she protested. “Isn’t tonight supposed to be about me, too? Haven’t you been telling me all along how bad you feel that I didn’t get the wedding you wanted me to have?”
He lowered his gaze. “I have been. But I can’t be that guy tonight, sweetheart. There will be people here from all over Russia—friends, family, colleagues, even people I don’t know that my father believes are important. I have to be the guy you don’t like very much.”
She pursed her lips but said nothing, turning to stare out at the city lights. He reached for her hand, but she didn’t respond, letting it lie limply in his palm. She hated behaving like a brat, but everything about this suddenly felt wrong. She was in a foreign country, with a language she hadn’t mastered, customs she didn’t understand, and now a man who made her feel like she wasn’t his priority—something he’d promised her she would always be. She knew he was under a lot of pressure, but he was still the same man she married, wasn’t he? And why did she feel like everything alluded to the idea that he’d brought her here to stay? It hurt to think he was trying to trick or dupe her somehow, and this was the first time she felt like there was something she couldn’t talk to him about.
“Tessa?” He spoke softly in her ear and she turned to look at him, her eyes misty. “What is—”
“Nothing.” She turned away, getting more and more annoyed as the events of the last few days replayed in her head.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with me?!”
“Sweetheart, I—”
“Don’t sweetheart me!” she hissed under her breath so Raina wouldn’t hear them arguing. “This is not what I signed up for when we came here to have our Russian reception! This was supposed to be a celebration—and at least a partial honeymoon—not some damn political stance to further your image!”
“Tessa, what are you—”
“You know damn well what I’m talking about! Your father! The press, the expectations of people in the hockey world and even your friends. You said you would be a little more reserved here, but you said nothing about treating me like you don’t want me around! I won’t embarrass you, but don’t expect me to be happy about this charade of a reception tonight.” She turned away, aware that Anton had been listening and not wanting him to hear her say the things she really wanted to say. However, getting angrier by the minute, she turned back one more time. “And I really don’t appreciate us having our first fight in a foreign country, where I basically have nowhere to go cool off, and in front of our kids!” She folded her arms across her chest and turned away again.
“Honey.” He reached for her, frustrated that he could only use one arm and that in this position he wouldn’t be able to budge her if she didn’t want to move. “Dammit, Tessa, look at me.”
“Do not make me say ugly things in front of my daughter,” she hissed.
Toli sat back in surprise. He’d never heard her sound like that—her voice wasn’t just angry, which was what he’d been expecting—she was actually disappointed. In him. He’d promised her he would spend the rest of his life making her happy, and she’d trusted in that. Now he was letting her down, and it wasn’t over something small. He’d done what he thought he had to do to protect everyone at their wedding. Then things had spiraled out of control in a way he’d never imagined, but telling her the truth could potentially endanger her. Everything he’d done and was still doing was to protect her, but he couldn’t tell her that. At least not while they were in Russia. He had to find a way to put her mind at ease, but there was so much at stake and he didn’t trust anyone other than her and his brother.
He said something to the driver in Russian and they made the next turn, heading in the opposite direction. Tessa remained quiet, staring out the window. When the limo pulled to a stop in front of a busy shopping district, she turned to him.
“What now?”
“We’re going to talk.” He waited for the driver to open their door and looked at Anton. “Stay here with Raina—don’t get out of the car.”
Anton frowned but nodded. “Okay.”
Toli got out and gave Tessa a look that told her they would argue in front of the kids if she didn’t follow him so she got out and shivered in the chilly night air. Toli immediately took off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. Then he took her hand and pulled her down the street towards an expensive-looking shop. He paused in the window and looked down at her furious face.
“Sweetheart.” He spoke softly, gripping her chin and forcing her to look at him.
“Don’t call me that!” she whispered, her eyes filling with tears.
“God, please don’t cry.” He wrapped his good arm around her. “Listen to me, please. You’re not a second-class citizen—you’re my everything! But things have been going on that are out of my control and telling you the details will only put you in danger!”
“Don’t you trust me?” She looked at him warily.
“Of course I do, but we’re talking about my father’s KGB affiliation and things that would ultimately be dangerous for you to know—you have to believe that, Tessa.”
“I don’t know what to believe,” she admitted softly.
“Everything you hear on the news about Russia is pretty close to the truth,” he said under his breath. “The government here is so corrupt. When you see Russian players having dinner with this prime minister and that ambassador—usually it’s because they have to, not because they give a shit about their politics. They still have families here, just like I do, and it’s safer for them if they play along. I’ve never played that game because my father came up with a plan to protect me and Sergei, but apparently they’re trying to get to me now and I don’t know why. With the Sidewinders winning the Cup last season, I guess I’m on their radar.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?!” she demanded.
“You’d already been through so much with what happened at the wedding, I wanted to protect you.”
“By alienating me?”
He rested his chin on top of her head. “I’m sorry.”
“Toli, I asked you this when we got here… Who do you want me to be? If you just tell me, I can play whatever role you need me to play.” She stepped back and searched his face. “Don’t you trust me to help you with this?”
“Of course I trust you—I don’t trust them!”
“Toli.”
He let out a breath. “I need you to be aloof and…I guess uninterested is the word.” He looked at her guiltily.
“Uninterested?” She blinked at him in disbelief.
“The best thing you can do for me is pretend that you don’t think for yourself. I know it’s highly insulting and completely out of character for both of us, but the only way I can keep you safe is if you play the part of the dumb, money-grubbing blonde. If they think you only care about my money and power as a professional athlete, you won’t be a target because they’ll assume you don’t love me enough to care. By the same token, the less enamored I am with you—hence showing you off as a pretty little piece on my arm—they won’t think you have any power over me either.” He looked deep into her eyes. “Do you trust me, Tessa?”
She searched his face for any signs of dishonesty but all she saw was the man she loved, the man who’d come to her rescue in a bar just ten months ago. If only he was acting like that man. But what kind of future did they have if she told him she had doubts? “Of course I do,” she said finally, despite her reservations.
“This is how we get through the next day or so. You’re only interested in my money, I’m only in love with your hot little ass and big tits. You like my wallet; I like the way you look on my arm. By behaving this way, maybe it will make them think you’re not important enough to me to go after you.”
“I wish I understood all of this.”
“When we get home, I promise, I’ll tell you everything. Right now, even this stop—I need you to pick out some
thing in the store right now and throw a tantrum until I buy it for you. Do you understand?”
She bit her lip but nodded, looking at the gorgeous jewelry in the display window. “If that’s what it takes, that’s what we’ll do.”
He sighed. “I love you, Tessa. I’m sorry this is happening.”
She nodded numbly. If this was what he needed from her, that’s what she would do, but she didn’t have to like it. She wanted to trust him but being in a foreign country and having her daughter with her made her wary. Something bothered her about this whole thing but she didn’t have any way to sort out the truth. He’d never acted like this before, and in the ten or eleven months she’d known him, he’d never even hinted that something like this had been going on in his life.
“That one!” she said loudly, folding her arms across her chest. “I want that one.”
Toli followed her gaze to a beautiful necklace with a teardrop-shaped sapphire surrounded by diamonds. It was stunning and he smiled the first genuine smile all day; she would look beautiful wearing nothing but that necklace the next time they were in bed together and he didn’t care that it was a gift bought because of a charade they were putting on. He leaned down to kiss her cheek and then tugged her hand as he pulled her into the store. He made a big show of buying it and immediately fastened it around her neck. The store clerk fussed and carried on, but Tessa played her role to the hilt, keeping her lips in a pout until they left the store.
They walked back to the limo and she got in slowly. Though he kept an arm wrapped tightly around her shoulders, she felt cold. He touched her chin as the car pulled away and she gave a tiny nod, indicating she was okay even though she wasn’t. She wanted to be strong and tough so she could play this game he’d asked her to participate in, but deep down she was numb. Pretending to be after his money was revolting and the idea that he was only interested in her because she was attractive made her a little sick. She knew he didn’t mean it—it was just something they needed to do until they left Russia—but it felt real. Something about all of this felt real. And dangerous. And she couldn’t get a grasp on why. That’s what had her out of sorts. If she couldn’t trust him completely, despite telling him she did, why had she married him? Hadn’t one husband who’d duped her been enough?
She thought about their relationship since they’d met and couldn’t come up with a legitimate reason for them to have advanced it along so quickly. Had he somehow targeted her? Obviously he hadn’t known she was going to be in that particular bar the night they met, but once they’d met there was every possibility that she fell into his plans somehow. It just didn’t make sense, because in addition to him not knowing they were going to meet, she knew the chemistry between them was real. The sex was like nothing she’d ever experienced, and though she’d been inexperienced in the bedroom, she wasn’t naïve about what went on in the world. She knew about men who were only interested in sex. She had friends who’d been cheated on, lied to, divorced and even abused. Her eyes had been wide open as they’d fallen in love and even if she wasn’t the great love of his life, she knew he cared for her. So what was going on to bring them to where they were now? Somehow she had to get to the bottom of it.
“Mama, pretty!” Raina said with excitement, pointing to the necklace.
“It’s very pretty.” Tessa took her from Anton and held her hand tightly as the car went just a few blocks before slowing to a stop in front of an ornate, brightly lit building. Members of the press were already there and Toli squeezed her hand just before the driver opened the door for them. Toli got out first, reaching out to help her and she took an inadvertent step back when the first flashbulb went off in her face. Toli immediately snapped at the photographer, who hesitated but eventually moved out of the way.
“Let me take Raina,” Anton said softly. “You’re in those really high heels and the press is going to surround you any minute now.”
Tessa regretfully relinquished her daughter to him and was grateful for Toli’s arm around her as they walked.
As Anton had predicted, the press surrounded them and Toli spoke brusquely, his face a mask devoid of emotion. Tessa schooled her features to look the same; cold, calculating and really annoyed. Of course, in her case, she was genuinely annoyed, but for a totally different reason.
Toli spoke to a few reporters, his hand firmly clasped around Tessa’s, and then dismissed them so they could go inside. Toli’s parents were the first to greet them, with big smiles and bright faces. Tessa remained aloof, still upset with Toli but also afraid for him; she wouldn’t do anything to endanger him or his family, but she couldn’t believe he’d put her in this position. He hadn’t fully confided in her and this charade of pretending not to truly care about each other felt contrived. She couldn’t tell what the truth was and that hurt. She’d never trusted anyone the way she trusted him, and now it felt like he’d betrayed her just like her ex-husband had. She’d fallen in love with this man in a matter of weeks, and that felt incredibly naïve in retrospect.
“Tessa?” Toli’s voice was soft in her ear. “Are you okay?”
“Of course.” She nodded briskly and kept walking, oblivious to her already aching feet.
They were assaulted by cameras again the moment they walked into the brightly lit room and she forced a bright smile, knowing it was expected. Toli waved and spoke to a few people, making his way over to his brother and his wife. She hung back, uninterested in spending time with the woman Toli had been involved with on and off for nearly 20 years. She turned to Anton.
“Is it possible for you to find me a glass of red wine, since you speak the language?”
“Sure.” Anton nodded, putting Raina down.
“Banana-papa!” Raina called out and ran across the room to Toli’s father. Tessa had to use every ounce of self-control she had not to snatch her daughter back from a man with inexplicable ties to an organization like the KGB. Instead, she followed Anton, anxious for a drink that would take the edge off. She smiled gratefully when he handed it to her.
“Tessa, I don’t know what’s going on with you and my dad, but you have to trust him—he loves you and everything’s going to be okay.”
She looked in Toli’s direction—he had his back to her—and sighed. “I hope you’re right, Anton.”
“Don’t worry!” He kissed her cheek.
She smiled faintly and made her way to what looked like a restroom. Once inside, she sank into a chair and pulled out her phone. She wasn’t stupid enough to say anything about politics or the KGB, but she desperately needed to hear a friendly voice. Knowing Kate was probably with Erin, she called Tiff.
“Hey!” Tiff’s happy, cheerful voice made Tessa homesick. “How’s Moscow?”
“Exhausting,” Tessa admitted.
“What’s wrong? Why do you sound sad? Isn’t tonight your Russian wedding reception?”
“Yeah. Except Toli and I had our first fight on the way here and now I’m hiding in the bathroom and he’s with his brother and his ex!” She couldn’t help the bitterness that crept into her voice.
“Oh, honey, what a terrible time to have your first fight—but you know he loves you and it’ll work out!”
Tessa didn’t say anything and Tiff paused. “This sounds more serious than a simple fight.”
“It was,” she whispered. “Tiff, I don’t know what’s going on but I’m afraid he’s not going to let me leave Russia!”
“What?!” Tiff’s voice fell to a hushed whisper as well, as if someone was listening on her end too. “Why would you think that?”
“I can’t tell you over the phone!” Tessa fought off tears; Toli would know right away if she cried and she didn’t want anyone asking a lot of questions. “I just want to come home!”
“Oh my God, Tessa.” She murmured something to Zakk.
“No! Please, you can’t let him talk to Toli! Promise me! I have Raina with me—you don’t understand how crazy it’s been! He can’t say anything to him until we can get out of he
re!”
“Are you afraid of him?” Tiff was mystified. “Tessa, let’s just assume that he’s gotten involved in something because of his father—and he can’t talk to you about it—you can’t believe he would hurt you?!”
“I don’t even know who he is since we got here!” Tessa took several deep breaths to keep from crying. “He’s so different!”
“Zakk wants to know if you need him to come.”
“I don’t know!” she whispered. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Hang on.” Tiff handed the phone to Zakk, who got on with a snarl.
“Tessa, what’s happening? Why do you think some bullshit is going on with Toli? What could he have done to make you think he would stay in Russia?”
“I can’t tell you over the phone,” she said.
“Tessa, are you afraid enough for me to come there? Because I’ll be on a damn plane tonight!” Zakk was having a hard time believing his best friend could do something like this, but Tessa wasn’t the kind of woman who made mountains out of molehills either. Something had scared her enough to call home in a panic.
“We’re supposed to leave in two days,” she said. “So if I’m wrong, we’d be on the way back by the time you got here.”
“Then what can I do?”
“Do you two talk?” she asked quietly. “You know, like, while he’s away.”
Zakk sighed. “Not really. I mean, we talked about the trip and how long you guys would be gone, but he said he’d see me when he got back. We’re not like you girls, where we call and check in.”
“Can you think of a reason to call?” she pleaded.
“Well…I guess I can come up with something.” Zakk sounded perplexed.
“There’s a 10-hour time difference,” she said. “So if you stay up until about 11 p.m. your time, we’ll be getting up in the morning. Can you think of a reason to call and ask him about the party tonight and the trip? See what vibe you get?”
“Of course.” Zakk spoke confidently. “Whatever it is, Tessa, even if he really did get involved in some of that crap with his dad, which I don’t believe, by the way—there is no way in hell he’d hurt you or Raina. I know that as well as I know anything.”
