by Kat Mizera
“Don’t tell her anything!” Zakk growled. “Seriously, until we have answers, there is nothing she can do so you need to think on your feet!”
“Shit.” Tessa took a deep breath and answered. “Hi, Debbie.”
“Tessa! Thank goodness! Why aren’t Toli and Anton answering their phones?”
“I, um, don’t know.” Tessa sighed. “I, well, Toli and I had our first fight and I acted like a big baby and flew home.”
“What?!” Debbie seemed shocked. “Really?”
“I know, it was stupid. But Raina got some kind of stomach bug and Toli and I got into it and I called the airlines, changed my flight and left while he was sleeping. I’m a terrible human being and I already know it so please don’t yell at me.”
“Yell at you?” Debbie chuckled. “Of course not! You know how many dumb things I’ve done since Mike and I got together?”
Tessa tried to laugh. “I’m sure. But, uh, I think there was a bunch of hockey-related stuff going on so that’s probably why they’re not answering. Either that or they’re on a plane headed home and without internet.”
“I’ve been leaving messages since yesterday, though—why are they both ignoring them?”
Tessa grimaced. “Toli is probably so mad at me, the last thing he wants to do is possibly get into it with the other woman in his life. You know how he is; he hates confrontation.”
“Yeah.” Debbie seemed thoughtful. “Tessa, he’s a great guy and totally in love with you—you need to make up quickly. He loves hard but once you screw him, he’s done. I mean, he forgave Tatiana over and over when she wouldn’t marry him, but once he found out about her and Sergei? That was it—she was written off for good. Don’t let this fester, you know?”
Tessa nearly groaned out loud. “I know. Thanks, Debbie. I’m trying to reach him and I’ll tell him to call, okay?”
“Okay! Don’t stress too much—you guys will be fine.”
“Thanks.” Tessa disconnected and moaned. This was getting worse and worse and she wasn’t sure how to feel about any of it. Focus on Anton, she told herself firmly. That’s the priority.
His son had been missing for nearly two days and Toli hadn’t slept more than a few minutes at a time or showered. He’d barely eaten, though his mother forced some soup on him this morning. Looking in the mirror after washing his face, he looked like death warmed over. His hair was flat and matted against his scalp, there were dark circles under his eyes and he was paler than he’d ever been in his life. He’d never felt this kind of fear or pain before, and he could barely function. There had been no word from anyone about Anton—no ransom demands, no ultimatums from the MGB, nothing at all. Grisha and his father had been reaching out to everyone they knew but so far no one claimed responsibility. The American Embassy had been sympathetic but equally unsuccessful in getting any answers and Toli was at the end of his rope.
“Toli.” Anastasia knocked on the door. “Come. You have visitors.”
“Visitors?!” Toli frowned. “Mama, I can’t—”
“You must.” She held out her hand. “Come.”
He took it reluctantly, allowing her to pull him into the living room, where he froze in shock. Standing there in the foyer, as if it was an everyday occurrence, were two of his best friends: Dom and Zakk. Together essentially took up all the space in the small entryway and for a moment no one spoke.
“You thought we wouldn’t come?” Zakk finally said, scowling. “Like, really?”
Toli blinked for a moment. “But how—how did you get a visa so quickly?”
“We didn’t.” Dom grinned and motioned with his head. “Louie kinda snuck us into the country.”
A big black man Toli had never seen before stepped through the doorway and held out his hand. “Louie Faulk. I was in Erin’s unit in Afghanistan. She thought you might need my help getting your son back.”
Toli shook his hand on autopilot. “Yes, thank you. I’m…” His voice trailed off and he simply turned, reaching out to wrap his arms around Zakk, who hugged him tightly.
“It’s all right, man. We’re going to find him.”
“We got this,” Dom said quietly, hugging him next.
“Now your mama promised us food,” Louie said lightly. “So we’re gonna eat while you and your wife talk.” He, Dom and Zakk moved down the hall towards the kitchen and Toli saw Tessa for the first time. She looked almost as bad as he did, standing against the wall in jeans and a light sweater, pale and drawn, her eyes sad.
“Hi,” she said softly.
“Hi.” He blinked. “You came back.”
“This is about Anton, not us,” she whispered. “I love him—he’s my son now too, and even if you don’t love me anymore, I needed to be here. I’m still your wife.”
“Even if I don’t love you…?” His voice trailed off and he shook his head. “I can’t do this right now, Tessa. I don’t understand how you could believe such a thing, but I can’t talk about that right now. I have to get my son back before I can think about anything else.”
“I know.” She stepped forward and held out her hand. He hesitated but slowly put his in it. “We’re going to find him. Erin has the NSA on this, and she’s working it from home. She’s calling in every favor she’s ever gotten, and using them all to find him and bring him home.”
“Thank you,” he whispered.
“Where’s your sling?” she asked after a moment.
He looked down. “I guess I forgot to put it on.”
“Toli, go get it.”
“I don’t—”
“I’ll get it.” She squeezed his arm. “Come on, you look ready to drop. Go sit with Zakk and the guys and I’ll get your sling.”
“Okay.” He could barely move but she gently nudged him towards the kitchen and then headed towards the guest bedroom. She rummaged through the bags on the floor and saw the sling underneath some dirty laundry. She picked it up and turned, startled to see her mother-in-law watching her with curious eyes.
“Hello.” She straightened up.
“My English not good,” Anastasia said. “But you are wrong, Tessa. Toli has done nothing. Why do you leave?”
“I saw him with Tatiana,” she whispered, looking down.
“Eh?” Anastasia was obviously shocked by this, her brows knitting together in anger. “Yes? With Tatiana?!”
Tessa nodded. “No shirt. She had her arm around him like this.” She demonstrated. “And Toli had his hand here.” She showed her.
Anastasia’s mouth fell open. “No!” She muttered what sounded like a string of curses in Russian. “I will cut off balls!” she grunted. “But not now. After Anton is home, yes? Then we will talk to Tatiana. Yes?” She gently lifted Tessa’s chin. “Maybe this is mistake, but my Toly, Toli’s papa, he have affair—I forgive because sometimes love is more important than sex.”
“I can’t compete with her,” Tessa said sadly. “She’s tall and beautiful and a doctor—I’m not even a teacher anymore.”
“Teacher is very important!” Anastasia said warmly, pulling Tessa close and hugging her. “First we find Anton—then we talk, yes? Please wait.”
“Of course. Anton is my priority—he’s why I came.”
“But also maybe because you love Toli?” She nodded slightly.
“Yes.” Tessa looked down.
“Come. Now we find Anton.” She linked her fingers through Tessa’s and pulled her into the hall.
Toli had dozed off sitting on the couch, his head lolling to the side. Tessa watched him sadly, wishing there was something she could do. He looked more desolate than she’d ever seen him and it broke her heart even more than thinking he didn’t love her anymore. It had been more than 48 hours since Anton was taken and there was still no word at all. Zakk and Dom paced the small apartment while Louie sat glued to a computer and Anatoly stood stoically staring out the window. Finally, unsure what else to do, Tessa sank down next to Toli and rested against him. He stirred slightly and she put a comforting ha
nd on his arm.
“It’s okay,” she whispered. “Go back to sleep. I’m right here.”
He nodded, his eyes closing again as she nestled against his chest. She felt him stiffen for a moment and then his arm slid around her, holding her close. She closed her eyes and breathed in his scent, fighting off the tears that had been threatening since she’d left. She couldn’t imagine her life without him, and it occurred to her that maybe Anastasia had a point; maybe she could forgive him one transgression if they talked it out. Maybe it had been a moment of weakness, and not a continuation of his and Tatiana’s lifelong love for each other. Maybe Tatiana had gone after him, hit on him, and he’d only been contemplating sleeping with her—
“Toli!” Louie’s deep voice broke through the silence and everyone jumped.
Toli’s eyes flew open and he sprang to his feet so fast he dislodged Tessa, who landed on the floor with a small thump.
“Sorry!” he cried, reaching down to help her up with his good arm, his eyes fixed on Louie’s face. “What’s happened?” he asked him.
“The kidnappers made contact with Grisha,” Louie said. “They want to meet with you—alone.”
“Where?”
“No!” Anatoly shook his head. “You don’t know what they’re capable of—they will undoubtedly torture you.”
“If it gets Anton back—”
“That’s not how they operate!” Anatoly protested. “You won’t get your son and they’ll torture or kill you—you cannot go!”
“What other option is there?!” Toli cried. “This is about Anton!”
“It’s probably already too late for Anton!” Anatoly yelled.
There was a stunned silence in the room as everyone froze.
“You can’t think that way!” Tessa hissed, moving to Toli’s side and glaring at her father-in-law. “They don’t get anything by hurting Anton. If they want Toli for something—no matter what it is—he’s not going to do shit if they hurt his son and they know it! Right, Louie?!” She spun around to face him.
“Typically, yeah,” he sighed. “But this is the MGB. They don’t always operate like other groups.”
“I have to go,” Toli said, swallowing hard, his eyes completely flat as he searched for his shoes.
“Then we go with you.” Zakk moved in front of him.
“No.” Toli put a hand on his shoulder. “You have a baby on the way—and the twins. Your family needs you.” He looked at Dom. “And Molly has already been through too much. For her to lose you would be unbearable—I can’t allow it. I appreciate your offering, but this isn’t your fight.”
“Yeah, it is,” Zakk said through clenched teeth. “You took a huge risk when we went to get Tiff.”
“And when we went to get Molly,” Dom added. “You can’t do this alone.”
“He won’t be alone,” Louie said, standing up. “It’s my job to find Anton and that’s what I’m going to do. Toli, find out where you need to go.”
“We’re going to be nearby,” Zakk growled, his eyes narrowed. “It’s not like you can stop us from following you.”
Toli sighed. “Guys, I mean it—I love you both—you’re like brothers to me, but you have your own families. If Anton is already dead…what’s the point?”
“He’s not dead!” Tessa cried, gripping his arm. “Don’t even think it!” Her eyes burned with intensity. “I mean it, Toli, you can’t even think it!”
“You’re right, sweetheart.” He leaned down to kiss the top of her head. “I can’t even imagine it, but I also can’t let my friends walk into what’s most likely a trap. It’s one thing for my father and me to take risks, but Zakk and Dom have to worry about their own families.”
“You’re such a bleeding heart,” Zakk rolled his eyes. “We didn’t come here to sit with your mom while you go kick some KGB ass. We’re here to do whatever’s necessary—you think our wives didn’t know the risks? You’ve risked your life for our families, and now it’s our turn. Period. So shut the fuck up and let Louie tell us the plan.”
Dom lowered his head, hiding the smile that played on his lips and Louie merely turned back to his computer.
“Once we know the meeting place, I can come up with a plan,” he said.
Anatoly got on the phone with Grisha and they all waited impatiently.
The front door opened and Sergei and Tatiana slipped in. Tessa turned away, putting a possessive hand on Toli’s forearm as she tried to keep him from seeing how much it hurt to see them in the same room together.
“What’s happening?” Sergei asked.
“Where is Nikolai?” Anastasia asked worriedly.
“He left this afternoon,” Tatiana said quietly. “We sent him to stay with a couple of my friends from the hospital, north of the city. As soon as we find Anton, I will take him back to Boston. Until then, we thought it best he not be with us.”
Toli nodded. “Yeah, probably safer for him.”
“Have you heard anything?” Sergei asked.
“I have an address,” Louie said. “It’s here.” He pointed to a map on his computer screen.
“That’s a rough neighborhood,” Toli muttered.
“What do they want?” Sergei asked. “Do we know?”
“Me.” Toli stared down at the map. “It will take me 30 minutes to get there, depending on traffic.”
“We go together!” Sergei said firmly.
“Sergei, no!” Tatiana looked terrified and he turned to her.
“If it was Nikolai, you know Toli would be at my side.”
They locked gazes and she finally nodded, moving close to him. He whispered something in her ear that no one else could hear and her eyes filled with tears. He wrapped his arms around her, kissing the side of her face as he continued to softly murmur in her ear.
“The five of us will go in my car,” Louie said, looking at Anatoly, Zakk, Dom and Sergei. “Toli will go by himself, in his father’s car.”
“What do they want from you, Toli?” Tessa couldn’t resist asking, her eyes searching his face.
“I don’t know exactly,” he admitted. “But whatever it is, I have to give it to them. I won’t trade my son for my own safety.”
“We should go,” Louie said, reaching for his duffel bag.
They moved towards the door and Tessa watched helplessly as Toli paused, turning back to her.
“I need a moment with my wife,” he said quietly, meeting her gaze. “In the hall?”
She nodded, walking out behind him and looking up into his face.
“I may not have another chance to say this,” he said after a slight hesitation, reaching for her hand and bringing it to his lips. “I know I made a mistake, but I love you, Tessa. I never believed there was such a thing as another person making you feel complete—I thought that was romantic nonsense that people wrote about in books and movies. Then I met you and realized it was true. I’m sorry I hurt you and I hope I have the chance to make it up to you.”
“Toli…” Her voice broke and she moved against him, burying her face in his chest. “I don’t care about what you did—we’ll get past it—just go get Anton, okay?”
“I will.” He palmed her cheek with his hand. “Remember that I love you—always.”
“I love you too.”
“If something happens to me, get out of Russia immediately, do you understand?”
She nodded.
“Promise me, Tessa. I don’t know what they want or what they could possibly want from you if I’m dead, but if I don’t come back, you get out of here no matter what you have to do.”
“I promise.” She blinked back tears as he kissed her lightly on the lips and then motioned to the others that he was ready to go.
Chapter 13
Tessa watched until they disappeared into the elevator and then slowly walked back into the apartment. It was just Anastasia and Tatiana in the living room and Tatiana got up when Tessa came in, obviously aware of the awkwardness of the situation.
“I�
��ll just go—”
“Sit!” Anastasia barked out the order in Russian, but Tessa understood the word and her eyes widened in surprise.
Tatiana sank back down on the couch, a slight frown creasing her forehead.
“What did you do?” Anastasia demanded in Russian. “Answer in English!”
“What did I do?” Tatiana repeated in confusion.
“With Toli! The night of the reception here in Moscow!”
Tatiana cocked her head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I saw you,” Tessa spoke up quietly, stuffing her hands in the pockets of her jeans. “I know you still love him.”
Tatiana turned, her blue eyes meeting Tessa’s with what appeared to be genuine confusion. “I love Toli, but not in the way you mean. I’m not in love with him—I’m in love with Sergei.”
“You’re always finding ways to be with him,” Tessa said, biting her lip. “Whenever you’re around, you have to be close to him. It’s so obvious, and when I saw you together that night…”
“When? The night of the reception? I was never alone with Toli. Not even for a minute!”
“In the men’s room.” Tessa met her gaze directly. “I saw you, Tatiana.”
Tatiana made a face. “In the men’s…? Oh! When I checked his stitches? Is that what you mean?”
“His shirt was off,” Tessa said. “You were holding him by his good shoulder and he had his hand on your waist. I saw it.”
Tatiana shook her head. “You saw me checking his stitches,” she said slowly. “Sergei was right there behind me—ask him! Toli was in pain, his shoulder was stiff, and he was concerned that there was an infection. When I pressed on the wound, trying to determine if it was just soreness or something else, the pain was sharp and he momentarily got a little dizzy. I wasn’t sure what was going on medically, so I made a joke about him being clumsy when he’s not on skates, to see if I could distract him, get him to move past the pain, and it worked. We were laughing about me having to hold him up and his color returned to normal, so it seemed to be nothing more than a brief reaction.” She paused. “I understand what you must think of me, and I suppose I deserve it considering I got pregnant by the brother of the man I was supposed to marry—but that’s not who I am. There are a lot of things you—and Toli—don’t know about what went on during the years we were apart. I was under tremendous pressure and ultimately it was Sergei who figured it out, Sergei who helped me see that I had a choice.”
