One more reason not to get married and breed.
I walked up the deck steps, ignoring the subtle ache that now persisted in my leg. At least it was subtle today. Probably because I hadn’t run on it this morning. Don’t worry, I would tomorrow.
The crowd was diverse in age, ranging from people like Jessie and Rachel’s parents to babies on the hip. Or in Tristan’s case, on Blake’s shoulders. That was a good place for him. He couldn’t get into anything that way. I said my hellos to the host and hostess, who were manning the grill and food table respectively, and made it to Abby and Jessie, who were sitting next to each other on the fringe of the group in patio chairs. I should have been a better person and offered to help Rachel, but her mom and mother-in-law were on the case. And I’m not a better person. I only came for the food.
I could tell Abby was happy about something before I even made it to my friends. Her hands were talking a mile a minute and she only did that when she was excited or angry, and her smile said happy.
Abby grabbed my hand and pulled me down next to her. “You’re finally here. I’ve been waiting to tell you both at the same time, but I couldn’t wait.”
I took my seat. “What’s up?”
“This is good.” Jessie’s face was all smiles too.
“Are we finally doing a girlfriend trip again?”
Abby shook her head. “No. This is way better.”
I tsked, affronted by the outrageousness of that comment. Our trip to New York with only the three of us several years ago was the best time of my life. I was ready for a repeat.
They both rolled their eyes at me.
“So what’s the big news? Did Shane finally learn how to use the vacuum?”
“Oh, yes, actually.” Abby was beaming. “But this is even better.” She grabbed my hands. “Shane is taking me to Ireland in October when the kids are on fall break. His parents are coming to stay with the kids during that week.” Ireland was Abby’s dream destination. I had been begging her to go with me, but Shane always said it was too expensive.
I had never seen her look so happy. But something wasn’t adding up to me. I knew men, lots of them. And I knew Shane. His whole one-eighty wasn’t kosher. Men didn’t turn on a dime into the perfect husband and father. Not unless . . . I squeezed Abby’s hands and tried to keep my voice down. “Abs, doesn’t this seem odd to you?”
That wiped the happy right off her face. “Why would you say that?”
Jessie’s eyes demanded an answer too.
“All I’m saying is his Prince Charming act seems sudden and suspicious.”
She pulled her hands away from mine. “I thought you of all people would be happy for me. Aren’t you the one always telling me that Shane should step it up? Well, now he has.”
“Maybe.” I was willing to concede I might be wrong, but something was telling me I wasn’t.
“You’re just jealous because Paxton left you and you can’t find anyone else.” Abby had never said anything like that before to me or anyone. She was the sweet one in our group. I would have been proud of her, except for the fact I was hurt she would accuse me of not having her best interests at heart.
I stood up. “Fine, Abs. Live in your la la land. But I’m telling you this for your own good. Something is off. And if I were you, I would figure it out before you start packing your bags.”
Jessie and Abby wore the same stunned look.
I spun around feeling both anger and hurt. Only Abby and Jessie had the power to make me feel the latter. The unnatural and almost nonexistent tears stung my eyes. I wasn’t jealous, and if she thought for a moment no one else wanted me, she should think again. It was by choice I was single.
And if fighting with my best friends wasn’t enough, the man Abby just threw in my face was walking up the stairs, his sights set on me. What was Paxton doing here? Didn’t he have a game today? Then I remembered they played their last preseason game next Thursday.
Every party goer stopped what they were doing and focused in on Paxton carrying a large bouquet of red roses. How original and so not me. His sheepish eyes were set on me and only me. I was going to kill Rachel and Andrew for inviting him. How could they?
I spun back around to see Jessie comforting Abby. Jessie gave me a foul look before I marched inside. I wasn’t the bad guy here, and I wasn’t talking to Paxton. I don’t care how bronzed and delicious he looked in his tight t-shirt and jeans. I was over the famous jerk.
I hurried through the house, trying to reign in my emotions and ignoring everyone that tried to greet me.
Paxton trailed after me, calling my name. If he knew what was best for him he would cease and desist. His life depended on it.
I made it out the front door when he caught my arm. “Cheyenne.”
I yanked my arm out of his grip. “Touch me again and you’re going to lose your hand.”
“It would be worth it.”
“Where did you get that line? A Hallmark card?” I made a beeline for my car.
“Cheyenne, please talk to me. We can work this out if would just give me the chance to show you how much I love you. And how sorry I am for screwing up what we had.”
I was not listening to or falling for his BS.
“I haven’t dated anyone else since we broke up.”
I turned and faced the idiot. Did he realize how moronic that sounded?
He must have. He swallowed hard. “Okay . . . except for her.”
I headed for my car at a furious pace only to see Aidan walking up the drive. Of course he would pick now to show up. Freaking fantastic.
“Come on, Cheyenne.” Paxton grabbed my hand and held firmly. His grip was worthy of a professional quarterback.
This time when I pulled away I couldn’t. Infuriated was a vast understatement. “Let go of me.”
“Just listen to me, please.”
“Is there a problem here?” Aidan entered the mix. His eyes fixed on Paxton’s grip and they looked ready to intervene. I felt safe. That only made me angrier. I didn’t want Aidan to make me feel secure.
Paxton dropped my hand. “No problem, just trying to talk to my girlfriend.”
Aidan looked between Paxton and me with confusion. “I thought you two broke up?”
“We did.” To prove my point to Paxton, I did what I always seemed to do whenever Aidan was around. I pulled on his cotton tee and planted a kiss on him. And he did what he was best at. He responded perfectly and wrapped his arms around my waist. The kiss wasn’t our normal tango of passion, but it did what it was meant to do. I took one more taste before releasing Aidan’s luscious lips.
We locked eyes before drifting apart. For a moment, I forgot Paxton was there. All that existed for me was a pair of gorgeous gray-green eyes and lips that unlocked a desire in me that I never knew existed.
“Are you two dating?” Paxton broke the spell.
I didn’t bother answering or saying another word to either men. I ran off with tears welling up in my eyes. I didn’t need anyone, not even Abby or Jessie.
I kept telling myself that lie all the way home.
Chapter Nine
My heat of the moment actions were going to cost me dearly. My phone blew up. My car read texts to me, and there were several as I drove home. First was Felicia. Somehow even if she wasn’t present she was the first to know anything that happened in this town. I wondered who her informants were. Her text read, OMG!!!! Did you really kiss Aidan Bates? I knew there was something going on between you two. The rest were all similar in nature, except Rachel’s. I’m sorry Andrew invited Paxton. I didn’t know. But the final straw was Paxton’s repeated calls and his text declaring his love. I chucked my phone out through my sunroof. I breathed a sigh of relief when I heard it hit the pavement. That felt good. It wasn’t the first time my phone met an untimely demise.
The only people that hadn’t called or texted were my best friends. It hurt more than I cared to admit. I knew that I was blunt and even insensitive, but didn’t they know
me better? I would have never voiced those kinds of accusations unless I really thought there was good reason to. And I had been giving Shane the benefit of the doubt. At first I figured he wanted a motorcycle since Blake had bought one recently and Easton, who always seemed to follow suit, got one too. I thought this was Shane’s way of buttering Abby up. But then I remembered he was cheap, and he had never asked Abby for one. And more and more since his out of town conference, he had been acting out of character. Like, way out of character. I’d heard enough people’s stories in this town to know that spelled bad news. And I remember my dad acting the same way. When I was younger I didn’t understand what that meant, but as I got older I put the pieces of the puzzle together.
I wanted to be wrong. I hoped I was.
I sped home and did what I shouldn’t have. I threw my running shorts on and ran with a vengeance. I don’t know if it was the adrenaline or anger, but I didn’t feel any pain in my leg. That was, until I returned home and basically had to hop on one leg to make it to my couch. It was worth it. I stewed there dripping in sweat. I couldn’t believe Abby accused me of being jealous. What did I have to be jealous of? And why did Jessie always take her side? I guess because I had no feelings, right? I know that’s what everyone thought. And then to have Paxton show up was the icing on the crap cake. And why did I kiss Aidan?
I didn’t want anyone to know that we had. I was only trying to send a message to Paxton. The message was out now. Typically, this wouldn’t have been an issue, but Aidan was different. I still wasn’t exactly sure why.
I needed to shower and eat, but my body—and especially my leg—didn’t want to move. A bath to soak in would have been perfect, but I was too afraid to take one alone. I knew I was being ridiculous, but I worried about falling asleep and drowning. I worried about drowning more than I wanted to admit, even to myself. I hated how unsure I felt about things as of late. These were alien feelings. But I would beat it. I had to.
I made it as far as the kitchen to get an ice pack and a tub of chocolate cookie dough, dinner of champions and ticked women who didn’t know how to cook. I almost ordered takeout, but that meant seeing people, and I wasn’t seeing anyone until Tuesday when I went back to work. I didn’t even have a phone for people to irritate me.
Tonight was the first night I ever wondered if moving was in the cards for me. I never questioned it before because I ran a successful business and I had Jessie and Abby. And if I wanted adventure I went out and had it outside the city limits sometimes, depending on the man. Maybe I had overstayed my welcome.
I fell asleep on my couch in my sports bra and running shorts. I was doing that more than I should. My bed was much more comfortable. Maybe I should move my TV into my room and get a mini fridge stocked with cookie dough. I had obviously hit a new low thinking like this. My room was designed to be romantic, and it had seen its fair share of romance, but now it was lonely, and the pain in my leg was too much some nights to walk up the stairs.
Sometime in the dead of night, I’m not sure what time since I tossed my phone, I swore I heard someone banging on my door and calling my name. Or was I dreaming? Maybe sugar coma. But it wasn’t going away, and then the voice became more familiar. I opened my eyes. I heard it again. Abby? I sat up.
“Cheyenne.” Was she crying?
I carefully set my feet on the cool hardwood floor, making sure not to put too much pressure on my left leg.
She knocked loudly. “Cheyenne, please.” She was definitely crying.
“I’m coming.” That came out hoarse. I limped over to the entryway and flipped on the porch light. I opened the door to find Abby with mascara streaked down her pretty face. She was soaked in tears with splotchy red cheeks. Before I could say a word, she fell into my arms and sobbed. I stroked her hair. Her roots needed to be touched up, but I didn’t mention it. “Abs, what’s wrong?”
She continued to shudder.
“If this is about what I said at the party, I’m sorry. We’ll forget it ever happened.” She was scaring me. I had never seen her in such a state. And I knew it was way past her bedtime.
She clung tighter. “I’m sorry it’s so late. I didn’t know where else to go. You were right,” she cried.
“Right about what?”
“Shane,” she stuttered. “He. He—”
“He what?”
“I can’t even say it.”
She didn’t have to. I pulled her in and slammed the door. I held my best friend and walked her to the couch. Horrendous names for the slime ball were running through my head and out of my mouth. I used every four-letter word I could think of and then some. I even started swearing in Spanish.
The tighter she clung to me the tighter I held. I didn’t ask her a thing. I waited for her to lead the conversation, that was, if she wanted to. I hated being right now more than ever. For a good half-hour we stayed like that. I still wasn’t sure what time it was. Abby continued to bathe my bare shoulder in her tears.
She finally spoke. “I’m so sorry for snapping at you.”
“Abs, don’t worry about it. I don’t even remember what you said.”
“You’re a liar. You trashed your phone again, didn’t you?”
I laughed. “It had an accident with the pavement.”
She sat up, wiped her eyes, and sniffled.
“Let me get you some tissues.”
“No need. I didn’t think you would have any.” She pulled out a huge wad of toilet paper from her flannel pajama pockets. “I came prepared.”
“I have toilet paper, Abs” I took her hand. “What happened?”
She looked down into her lap. “You know that conference he went to in New Orleans?”
“Yeah.”
“He met someone.” She could barely get that out.
“I’ll kill him. I’ve been saving up all the juicy and blackmail worthy gossip I have on everyone at the police department for a moment like this.”
She looked up and gave me the smallest of smiles. “Not if I kill him first.”
“I’ll help you bury the body.”
“Oh, Cheyenne.” Her tears picked up again. “He says he only kissed her, but only because . . .” She began to shake. “You know what stopped him from going further?”
“Please tell me it involved bodily harm.”
“No. It was his shirt.”
I must have heard her wrong. I leaned back. “Did you say, shirt?”
She nodded. “Yeah. He said she—”
“You mean the tramp? Call it like it is, Abs.”
“The tramp complimented him on how nicely pressed his shirt was when she started unbuttoning it.” She put her face in her hands. “He said he stopped her because that reminded him of me. I’m the one who irons his damn shirts for him.” She rarely swore. I think the last time I heard her do it was back in 1998. “He said he couldn’t go through with it because he loves me. Why didn’t he think of that before he went to her room? Or before he ever gave her the impression he was willing and available? Why didn’t he just think of me period!? How can he say he loves me? I’ve given him everything for the last eighteen years.”
I pulled her to me and held her.
She sobbed and sobbed some more. “All I’ve become to him his someone who does his laundry.”
“You’re so much more than that.” I rubbed her back.
“How can you say that? Look at me! I’m soft in the middle and I have gray hairs coming in. I have laugh lines and stretch marks. All I’ve done with my life is raise kids and be a wife.”
I pulled away from her and looked into her blurry green eyes. “Don’t you dare belittle what you’ve done. You’ve raised three of the smartest, politest kids I know, and you’ve been one hell of a wife, not to mention friend. And don’t even get me going on all the volunteer hours you’ve put into the community and school. You’re beautiful inside and out. Shane,” I cringed to say his name, “doesn’t deserve you. He never has.”
She blew her nose over and over
again. “I’ve never been beautiful like you or Jessie.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“You know it’s true. When we were growing up, the only reason I had prom and homecoming dates was because you and Jessie always set one up for me. I was always the pity date.”
“Abs, that’s not true.”
“It is. And half the time I knew my date was wishing he was with you or some other girl.”
“Abby.”
“I got it. I was never as thin and my face would breakout. My clothes weren’t always as stylish. I sometimes wondered why you guys were friends with me.”
I had no idea she felt this way. “How can you say that? We love you. Our group would have never been the same without you.”
“I love you guys too, but I always felt like I didn’t belong. That people always wondered why you were my friend.”
“I’ll tell you why. Because you are the best person I know. I always knew you wouldn’t let us cross the line, well, at least not too far over. And you’re funny and smart. I was always jealous of how easy school came for you. Let’s not forget talented. When you sang at our graduation it almost brought tears to my eyes. You know that’s saying something.”
She leaned against me. “Shane was the only guy to ever look at me first. Remember the day we met him? It was when Dr. Ryan was still the chief of staff at the hospital. He brought him home for dinner, I think he wanted to introduce him to Jessie, but we were all there.”
I did remember that day. I thought Shane was a doofus. I didn’t care that he was a doctor and seven years older than us. But I do remember how enamored Abby was with the gangly man. He had put on some weight since then. “I remember.”
“He sat by me at dinner and asked if he could take me home that night. It was right before I went back to CSU for my senior year. He drove the two hours to see me whenever he could. And we ran up his phone bill. Before I knew it, I was engaged. I never even stopped to ask myself if I’d made a mistake. I knew he was never going to be exciting or debonair or even charming. I knew he wasn’t the most handsome guy around. But my mom told me those things fade. She told me I had to choose my love and love my choice. I thought I had. I thought he had. How could he do this to me?”
Cheyenne (The Women of Merryton Book 4) Page 7
