Rachel and Taylor looked my way with wide eyes to see how I would respond. The whole crowd was doing the same. After all, everyone was assuming Aidan and I were an item.
I locked eyes with Aidan on the field. He stood dumbfounded before shaking his head at me and focusing back on the boys. He wasn’t pleased at all. Did he think I was happy about that news? I would give the other women money if I had to. I wouldn’t let Veronica touch him. I couldn’t stand the thought of it.
Veronica gave me a snake-like grin.
The crowd around me erupted in whispered conversations questioning all they thought they knew about the situation. Were we on the outs? Was I really pregnant? Was Veronica just being Veronica? Why wasn’t I saying anything? I knew everyone expected me to. I was trying to think of something. The only thing that kept popping into my head was it was laughable that she thought she could take him away from me. But hold up. He wasn’t mine. What was wrong with my mind?
Taylor and Rachel were giving me sympathetic looks. Why? I didn’t need sympathy.
Taylor reached over and took my hand. Her mothering was getting on my nerves. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
The word yes was having a hard time rolling off my tongue. The only thing it allowed me to say was, “I’m always sure.” I pulled my hand away.
Rachel pointed out to the field at Aidan. He had zeroed in on me. “Looks like someone else is sure too. This is going to get interesting.”
What did Snow White know?
Probably more than I wanted her to.
I stayed until the last play was over, but zoomed out as fast I could. I blamed it on work, which was partially true. I did have a few appointments scheduled, but I wasn’t in danger of being late. I was in danger of losing my head, or worse, parts that I didn’t even think were an option. I also knew that Veronica was going to make a spectacle out of herself and I was in no mood to witness it. She was going to run onto the field as soon as she could and it wasn’t going to be to console her son after their brutal loss. She was headed straight for Aidan. I knew it. I could see it in her craze-filled eyes.
Not that I was worried Aidan would be interested in her. Something would have had to go seriously wrong in the space-time continuum for that to ever happen. But I worried about something else. I knew what Aidan wanted, and for the first time ever I felt the weight of that. I didn’t want to lead him on, even if he only wanted me physically. I wasn’t sure where this was all coming from. Leading men on was like a sport for me. If they handed out trophies for that sort of thing, I could have a room filled with them.
I hoped I wasn’t getting a conscience. That could get ugly.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Clive, the owner and manager of The Pavilion, was allowing Abby and Aidan to practice there even though Aidan had a piano. Abby didn’t want Shane to know what she was doing. Don’t ask me why. She wouldn’t say, and I wasn’t going to press her. I was surprised she was even considering it. Keeping her from backing out was going to be hard. I wanted to get flyers printed and out with her name and photo on it, but she made me swear I would only use a generic phrase like special entertainment will be provided. If she thought that was giving her wiggle room to back out, she was mistaken. This was a signed-in-blood kind of deal.
I arrived before Abby or Aidan. I was waiting for them on the stage with the gleaming black grand piano. I ran my hand over the smooth wood. I wasn’t a musical person, but I remembered a cabaret club in Paris that I had visited. The female performer had draped herself across the lid of the piano, and who could forget the luscious scene with Julia Roberts and Richard Gere in Pretty Woman? I channeled both, except because of my leg, I had to use the piano bench to help me sit on the lid.
I sat for a moment with my eyes closed, trying to get in touch with a cabaret singer and fantasizing about what could be done on that piano. Oh, well. My no men policy meant that no man would be making out with me on the piano.
Maybe. There was a man, at least on the stage.
“You look good up there.”
I opened my eyes to find Aidan walking up the stage steps. He was back to grimacing at me. I knew it was for the best, but I didn’t like it. I scooted to the edge of the lid so I could get down.
“Hold up. I’ll help you.” He rushed my way.
“I got it.” My feet had almost touched the bench.
Aidan was to me lightning fast and placed himself in front of the bench, keeping me on the lid. He stood between my legs, resting his hands on either side of me.
We were face to face and close enough for me to live out my fantasy if I wanted to, and did I ever want to. “I don’t need your help.”
The grimace was replaced with a half-smile. “I don’t need yours, either.”
“I never said you did.”
“I want out of the bachelor auction. I don’t need help finding a woman.”
I pushed against his chest. He wasn’t budging. “Absolutely not. You promised.”
“It’s making everyone think I’m stepping out on you and our child.”
A little prick stabbed me in the heart when he said our child. Heartburn? That worked. “Then tell them the truth.” Not like it would work. People in town that knew how I was and accepted me for who I was already knew the truth, but those who loved to cast judgment at me were going to believe what they wanted. They could, as far as I was concerned.
“No.”
“Why?”
He leaned in and rested his forehead against mine. He took the time to run his fingers down a strand of my hair. He had slow hands.
I liked slow hands. I breathed him in. I wanted to do more. Our lips were only inches apart. I didn’t want to resist whatever was between us. Why was it so easy to say no to every man but him?
“Cheyenne, I don’t want to paint you as a liar. I’m trying to protect your honor.”
He was the first person to think I had honor or wanted to protect it. He was wrong. “I did lie.”
“And I went along with it.”
“I guess we’re both liars then.”
“Can we stop this?”
“What?”
“The lie that we don’t like each other.”
“I don’t—”
“Am I interrupting anything?
Aidan and I broke apart. My heart was racing as I stared into his passion-filled eyes that said we weren’t done. I looked at Abby, who wore a look of ‘I knew it’ on her face. She knew nothing. I moved Aidan out of the way and basically slid down the piano, trying to spare my leg any jarring. He stood by, frustrated that I wouldn’t let him help.
He wasn’t the only one frustrated with me. Count me in the group. He was like my fear of water, hard to get over. I had to find a way though. I needed me. And I couldn’t be me if I was afraid or with someone. At least the way Aidan wanted to be with someone. He wanted a partner. And I knew he didn’t really want me. He just needed to open his eyes, or maybe close them. He was getting distracted by my looks. At the end of the day, though, he had to know it would never work out between us. He went to church and believed in God. He liked helping other people, and he wanted to have children. God? Who was God? Another man to leave you. And I didn’t go out of my way to help people unless I loved them, and even then, it was questionable. Children were murky. Definitely not having any of my own, but . . . Why was I even thinking like this?
I met Abby’s curious eyes. She smiled like she could read my thoughts.
“Let’s get this show on the road. I’ve got places to be.” Not really true unless you counted home on the couch watching some slasher movie. Anything but a romance.
Abby’s brow arched, scrutinizing my claim. Until recently that would have never been questioned. I was Cheyenne Fairchild. I always had plans on Saturday night. Had being the key word.
Aidan and his now surly attitude placed the bench back where it belonged and took a seat in front of the keys. Abby stood next to me, looking between Aidan and myself. I knew she
had a million questions running through her pretty head. But I couldn’t answer any of them because I was as confused as I’d ever been. It might have been the first time I was confused.
“I can’t do this.” Abby set the sheet music down on the lid.
I placed my hand on hers. “Yes, you can. The songs we’ve picked are perfect, and you sound amazing.” I’d heard her sing along to some prerecorded tracks we had downloaded.
She pulled her hand away from mine. “Why did I agree to this again?” She semi glowered.
“I’m asking myself the same question.” Aidan fully glowered.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “You said anything, no questions asked.”
“I’m regretting that now,” he threw back at me.
“Well, I never said anything like that.” Abby took Aidan’s side.
“She’s bossy, isn’t she?” Aidan was giving fuel to Abby.
She took it. “You have no idea.”
“Fine. I don’t care if your church gets a new kitchen. Disappoint Nate and Kristen. No skin off my back.” I stalked off, as much as my leg would let me. This is why I didn’t help people. Abby could stay in her shell and I would stay away from Aidan. I headed out into the lobby to find there was a downpour going on outside. Great, just great. I was usually good about checking the weather. My heart pounded as I looked out the glass doors at the sheets of rain pummeling everything in sight. A light rain shower was one thing, but this rain was the same as that night. The night my life was stolen from me. I didn’t die, but part of me was lost forever. Where did it go? My breaths were coming in fast and shallow.
Why did I let Aidan and Abby get to me? Normally I wouldn’t have cared about their objections. I would have stuck with the plan. Made them press forward. But there I stood, paralyzed.
“Cheyenne,” Aidan called.
Leave, just leave, I demanded of myself. Why couldn’t I move? I was trapped between two of my greatest fears. That realization alone was more than I could take. I leaned my head against the cool glass of the exit door, willing myself not to lose it even though I felt like I already had. The memory of the night of the accident came crashing down around me. My car was in the air, I couldn’t breathe. It felt like a dream, but it was a living nightmare. The impact came and then the overwhelming panic. I didn’t feel my injuries, but there was the blood. The water was red and cold, so cold. My door wouldn’t open and my seatbelt was jammed. I pounded and screamed. Seconds seemed like minutes. I was going to die. I didn’t think about God or beg for my life. All I thought was about Abby and Jessie and how much life I still had to live. I fought and fought until he came. I hadn’t realized he had climbed down the rocky cliff. He stood fear filled, but with determined eyes in the raging water that was consuming my car. In a swift moved he used some sort of tool to shatter my window. He reached in and with a strength I’d never witnessed he ripped my seatbelt off me. He pulled me out seconds before the water engulfed the inside of my car. I watched the water rush through the car as Aidan struggled to pull us both to the safety of the bank. I didn’t think either of us would make it. Guilt mixed in with the fear. But then we were safe. I was in his arms. I never wanted to leave them.
That hasn’t changed.
I opened my eyes and reminded myself to breathe. I wasn’t in the water.
Aidan’s warm hand rested on my shoulder. “Cheyenne,” he sounded worried. His touch felt safe, just like it had that night. I didn’t want it to. He scared me.
“Go away.” Defenses were back up.
“No.”
“Please.” I never used that word. Desperate measures for desperate times. Then there I was, back in his arms just like I’d found myself on the river bank.
He held me against his chest and stroked my hair. Not saying a word. He was good at that when he needed to be.
“I can’t like you. I can’t ever love you.” The words fell out of my mouth in a vulnerable moment.
Not a word. He pulled me closer.
“I mean it.” I sank into him, resting against his flannel shirt, listening to his heart. The steady beat of it seemed to be in overdrive.
He rested his head on mine. We stood still in our own little world for a moment. Until Aidan breathed out, “I’ll do the auction and I’ll help convince Abby to sing, but I want something from you.”
“What?”
“Your time.”
“My time?”
“Yes. Dinners, lunches, phone calls when I’m out of town. Maybe you could even cut my hair during normal business hours.”
I laughed against his chest. “Maybe.”
“Do we have a deal?”
I thought for a moment. “I’m still finding you the perfect church girl.”
“I’m still going home with you that night.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Aidan’s powers of persuasion ran deep. He convinced Abby to give it a go. She was amazing. He ran through several songs from Heart, Carly Simon, and Bonnie Rait, with her, but she decided on two Amy Winehouse songs. I think they fit her current mood and situation. She chose “Stronger Than Me” and “Love is a Losing Game.” Exactly what I had been trying to tell everyone. She was timid at first, but Aidan gently worked with her and got her to belt those babies out by the end. The pride in her eyes was apparent. It was exactly what I’d hoped for. Now getting her to do it in front of a crowd was going to be a feat all in itself.
But the real magic didn’t happen until Aidan and Abby tried out a duet. I picked this one out. I took it way back to one of my favorite eighties movie, White Nights. Back in the day it was my dream to meet Mikhail Baryshnikov, the famous Russian ballet dancer and actor. Abby, Jessie, and I must have watched that movie at least a hundred times. Not only was the movie fantastic, but the soundtrack was incredible. My favorite single was “Separate Lives” by Phil Collins and Marilyn Martin. I thought it would be a good duet for them. I was right, but it wasn’t a good duet for me.
Aidan and Abby each put in every ounce of what they were made of into it. I had to stop myself from tearing up as I sat there stunned, watching them on the stage. I was glad I was sitting on a chair out on the floor so I could hide my show of emotion. Their voices blended together like hot fudge over ice cream. It was sumptuous. Aidan played the piano like it was an extension of him. It was intense yet with care. His voice was the same, and I felt it more than I heard it. I was impressed with how easily he picked up on the music considering Abby had just given him the sheet music. He said he got his musical talent from his mom, who still played the organ in church.
I had actually thought about his parents and what they would think of me if they ever met me. From what he told me about how they disapproved of his brother, I don’t think I would be a fan favorite. And according to Aidan, they loved his first wife. From the sounds of it, what wasn’t to love? Why I wasted my energy with such thoughts was beyond me. I would never meet his parents; there would never be a need to. I would make Aidan see reason. In the process, I would get my head on straight.
They practiced for a couple of hours until Abby had to leave for her date. I said nothing about it. She was already nervous enough, and she knew my opinion without having to ask. All I did was hug her. “You blew me away.”
“I still don’t know if I can do this.”
I looked into her shining green eyes. They hadn’t looked that bright in forever. “You know you can, it’s just a matter of if you will.”
She took a deep breath and let it out. “I’ll call you later.”
“Be careful tonight, Abs.”
She nodded. “I will.”
Aidan was suddenly by my side, watching me watch Abby walk away, hoping that she knew what she was doing.
“He loves her, you know?”
I looked up into Aidan’s eyes. “I’m not convinced, but for her sake I hope it’s true.”
Aidan’s attention was drawn toward the ceiling. “Sounds like the rain is still coming down hard.”
I
was already more than aware. I was having a hard time not reliving the accident again. My plan was to make up some excuse and stay at The Pavilion until the storm had passed. It had been a while since I’d had to worry about rain. We had been in semi-drought conditions, which was fine by me.
Aidan met my eyes. “I’ll drive you home, or better yet, let’s do dinner.”
I couldn’t answer. Fear crept in on all sides.
Aidan took my hand. “I’m here, Cheyenne.”
I knew that, but it couldn’t last. I tugged, trying to take my hand back.
His fingers intertwined with mine. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said as if he had read my mind.
“You’re pushing your luck.”
“I think you need a good push.”
“Fine, but this doesn’t change anything. And it’s not a date.”
“Whatever makes you feel better.” His hand reluctantly let go of mine, but it found a nice place on the small of my back. He inched me forward. “You’ve got this, Cheyenne.”
I wasn’t so sure.
I was feeling somewhat ill when we arrived at a packed Red Barn. Even though Aidan had driven, being out in this kind of rain had me wanting to breathe into a paper bag. Not to mention the fact I realized how much Aidan frightened me.
Once we made it into the restaurant, my fear of the rain and him was replaced with amusement. This town really needed to get a life. It was fun to see the varying reactions. Some were pleased because they knew in their hearts that Aidan would never leave me in my fragile state. That one killed me the most. Did I look fragile? So maybe I’d had some fear-induced episodes, but I’d kept those private, not counting my recent episode today. Then there were those that were shocked. I mean, how could Aidan fall for a woman like me? And there were plenty who just wondered what was really going on. They knew me and Aidan well enough to know I wasn’t really pregnant and we were too different to be together, but they wondered if perhaps we were.
We let them wonder as we walked toward our table.
Aidan pulled out my chair for me.
Cheyenne (The Women of Merryton Book 4) Page 19
