by Kim Fox
The landscape on each side of the river turns into a forest and I swear I see Rolanda on the river’s edge. It’s a flash of a second but I would recognize those biceps anywhere. She got out.
Lucky bitch.
I try to call out her name but I get a mouthful of the sour river water instead. And then I’m long past her. The roaring is getting louder and my legs and arms are starting to get really heavy and tired. It’s not good.
I’m feeling pretty sorry for myself when something on the riverbank catches my eye. It looks almost human if it wasn’t for the blue skin. He’s huge with toned muscles and long dark blue hair. He’s gone before I can even register what I saw. Fuck, this river moves fast.
Did I mention that I hate this place?
The roaring becomes deafening and I gasp when I turn towards it and see the true source of the noise. I almost wish it was a dinosaur now.
The river ahead just disappears into the sky. Just like that.
I think back to when I first arrived on the spaceship and that woman with the crocheted teddy bear sweater got zapped by that purple electricity stuff. I actually felt bad for her. Now I’m envying her.
If I had known what the future had in store for me I would have taken that tube of purple shit and shoved it into my mouth.
I’m flying to the edge of the waterfall and I close my eyes, waiting for my life to flash before them but nothing happens. It’s either because I’ve done nothing of interest or because that whole life flashing before your eyes thing is bullshit. It’s probably the former.
The current flings me over the edge and I gasp when I look about ten stories down and see the rough water at the bottom. There’s no chance.
My stomach drops and my whole body clenches as I free fall with the strong water pushing me down even harder. My throat is too tight to scream.
And then…
Darkness.
five
A Sandroka floating in the water…only not. She’s lost her beautiful blue color and is a strange pink. But how is that possible?
She’s gone before Turic can figure it out. Taken in the arms of the powerful river and whisked away. Doesn’t she know not to swim in the Taharia? It’s full of trunelas with their long sharp teeth that will paralyze a body with the slightest touch.
Turic drops his knife and climbs up the closest tree as fast as a boomercan. The waterfall is ahead but she doesn’t swim out of the water. Strange. This is all very odd.
Turic’s heart starts thumping in his chest as hard as a masorak. The Drandroka were warned not to swim in the Taharia since we were infants but every cell in Turic’s body is urging him forward, telling him to go save this strange pink Sandroka.
Her tiny head disappears over the edge of the waterfall and before Turic can gather his senses he’s leaping off the branch of the tree into the dangerous Taharia.
The mighty Turic lands with a splash and slides the bone dagger out of his boot as he swims back up to the surface. The trunelas move fast under water and Turic will need to be quick with the knife if he is to survive.
The current is strong and angry and Turic needs both hands to stay afloat. Turic clenches his teeth down onto his dagger and swims as fast as he can to the edge.
Turic just hopes he can make it in time. There hasn’t been a Sandroka in the village since the great curse wiped them all out. Turic was barely a Drandroka back then. He was just about to embark on his Great Walk when it hit.
It’s been a long time but Turic doesn’t remember the Sandroka looking so strange. So, pink.
The waterfall brings the powerful Turic over its edge and he tucks into a straight line with his strong hands by his sides and his legs held together.
The fall is long and all Turic can think of is the Sandroka at the bottom. He only saw her for an instant but her head was tiny. She looked so delicate. Turic just hopes she survived the fall.
The mighty Turic bites down on his bone dagger as he slams into the water feet first and keeps going down until the water is cool and his head beats like Athrum’s drum.
Immediately, Turic swims up, feeling around for the missing Sandroka. His powerful hands hit nothing but water.
Turic’s head pops out of the water at the base of the waterfall where the current is not as intense. He can’t find her and he is thinking that all is lost when he sees a pink body floating away.
Turic is over there at the speed of a wicker’s strike, grabbing her tiny body and turning her over. “Krakalore,” he gasps in surprise. It’s not a Sandroka, but at the same time, it is.
Turic drops her, afraid that she has been taken by some evil curse, but he thinks twice as she begins to float away.
A tall yellow fin circles ahead and the mighty Turic hurries to get her, pulling her back towards the waterfall. Turic tosses her pink sleeping body over his shoulder as he swims around the falling water, never taking his eyes off of the trunella. Its yellow fin is standing straight up. That means it’s hungry.
He’s going to have to find something else to eat because this little one is mine.
Turic slips his bone dagger back into his boot after he pulls the strange Sandroka out of the cruel Taharia and onto the rocks behind the falls. There’s a little cave behind there. Athrum showed it to Turic once but that was years ago.
We’ll be safe in there.
It’s dark inside with only soft beams of light filtering in through the falling river. The mighty Turic lays the sleeping creature on the rock floor and stands over her, tilting his head from side to side as he studies her strange body.
She looks so familiar, but so different at the same time.
A tiny gicolat slithers out from behind a rock and heads towards her. The swift Turic rushes forward, stomping on its head, killing it instantly. She’s under Turic’s protection and he can already feel his soum attaching to her.
Whatever she is, she’s mine.
Turic glances around for any more gicolats or other pesky creatures that could harm her as he kneels down beside her. She looks so peculiar but Turic can’t stop staring.
Her hair is the color of dirt and at first Turic thinks it’s caked with mud but as he runs his fingers through it Turic sees that it is clean. She is so odd. Her face is tiny and small like a child but she seems to be full grown. Her nose is only the size of a olarp and her teeth are like that of a windyuller. How can she even eat?
Her arms are like twigs from the enger tree. Short and thin, and easy to snap. They are weak and frail but that just draws Turic closer to her. The need to protect her is growing strong within Turic.
Turic is not familiar with this feeling but he likes it.
For a second Turic thinks that she could be the one but he quickly pushes that thought out of his head. The Drandroka of Turic’s tribe haven’t had mates since the great curse and he won’t be any different. Except, his soum…it’s syncing to her. Turic can feel it thumping deep inside of his chest.
It feels strange but he likes it as well.
Now would be the time to fill her with Turic’s seed, placing a baby inside of her womb. The mighty Turic’s eyes dart to the apex of her legs. Does this pink Sandroka even have a culip?
She’s covered in such strange furs. Turic has never seen anything like them. They’re so thin and frail and Turic laughs when he pictures the ridiculous animal that she took them from.
The skins are as fragile as a leaf and he easily rips them off her smooth body.
Her strange skin is so soft and Turic’s soum thumps even harder as he traces his fingertips over her pink stomach. She has another odd animal skin wrapped over her cressels. The mighty Turic could easily tear it off but he likes it so he just pulls it down instead.
Turic’s mighty cock hardens as he stares down at her naked chest. The tiny buds on her cressels are stiff and sticking up, and it makes Turic swallow hard. They look odd but Turic can’t stop staring. They’re beautiful.
They’re different than the blue cressels of the Sandroka Turic
used to see when he was a child but he likes these just as much.
Turic runs his fingertip over them and his hard cock aches as he watches them jiggle. The odd Sandroka stirs, moving her head from side to side while she makes an odd noise.
Turic glances down at the apex between her legs. It’s covered in more strange furs. He has yet to see if this creature has a culip but that will have to wait.
She’s waking up.
This beautiful creature is under the mighty Turic’s protection now and it’s time to show her that. Turic will have to make her feel safe.
He scoops her tiny delicate body up in his arms and holds her there. She feels good.
She is stirring more and Turic starts to get excited. For when she awakes, Turic will ask if she has a culip and if she does, he will complete the mating ritual and thrust a baby into her womb, attaching her to Turic forever.
She opens her eyes that are the color of water and opens her mouth as she stares up at Turic.
Turic doesn’t recognize her expression. Maybe it is the look of love in her tribe.
Her tiny mouth opens and she says something in a weird language. It’s loud and it hurts Turic’s ears. It sounds like the screeching of a popertad only louder with the echoing of the cave.
For such a tiny thing she can make a lot of noise.
Too much noise.
It’s rare but the trunelas can climb onto land if they are really hungry. And Turic saw that yellow fin standing straight up in the air. He looked hungry.
The pink Sandroka doesn’t stop screeching so Turic covers her cute little mouth with his mighty hand.
She doesn’t like that.
At all.
six
There’s a hand on my mouth.
Let me say it again in case you missed that. There’s a freaking hand on my mouth!
I bite down as hard as I can but it doesn’t seem to do much. The skin is tough like leather. I can’t pierce it even with another hard chomp.
The man takes - wait, no. Not man. Alien. Beast. Creature. Cookie Monster thing. But definitely not man. He takes his enormous hand off my mouth and looks at me curiously.
“What are you looking at me like that for?” I shout as I scooch backward, trying to get as far away from him as I can. “You’re the one with blue freaking skin!”
He looks like he shot up a truck full of steroids and then took a dip in a vat of blue paint. They don’t make humans in his size. He’s freaking huge!
“Why are my tits out?” He frowns as I tuck them back into my bra. At least my underwear is still on. Wait, is it?
Okay. Underwear is still in check. He hasn’t traveled south of the equator from what I can tell. My t-shirt is on the floor, shredded. Oh, that’s lovely. There’s only one thing worse than being stranded on an alien planet and that is being stranded on an alien planet with your jujubes hanging out.
How the hell did I even get here? What the hell happened? The last thing I remembered was flying over the edge of the waterfall and now I’m here.
It’s some kind of cave behind the waterfall. But how did I get here? I’m assuming that the peeping Tom in blue knows something about that.
I take my eyes off of him for two seconds to look around. The walls and ceiling are made of smooth, moss-covered rocks that smell like mildew. The inside of the cave is tall enough for me to stand up but he has to crouch. What the hell? There’s a dead snake-like thing with horns on its squished head off to the side.
“Excuse me, sir,” I say in the most polite tone that I can muster. “Thank you for pulling me in here, and maybe molesting me? But I’m going to respectfully leave.”
He just stands in front of the only exit with his massive chest thrust out, looking at me like I’m somehow weirder than him.
He says something but the roar of the waterfall is even louder in here with it echoing off of the rock walls. I’m alone with an alien stranger and nobody can hear me scream.
Who am I kidding? There’s nobody on this planet to hear me scream. The girls in the cargo hold are probably pancakes right now, and I’m not sure about my two friends. I thought I saw Rolanda get out of the water but Mandy I have no idea.
Anyway, I have bigger things to deal with at the moment. He repeats his grumblings and I try really hard to make sense of the weird grunts and groans that he’s saying. “Tropert caleeb sanhusen.” Man, my heart is pounding.
“Good point,” I say, nodding my head. “Let me consider that on the way out of here.”
I take a step forward and so does he. My breath catches in my throat and I stare up at him with wide eyes. It’s the first time I’ve actually looked at him. Really looked at him.
He’s an alien alright. Tough blue skin all over without a strand of hair, besides the long, silky dark blue hair on his head. His eyes are a stunning turquoise that makes my breath catch in my throat. His head is huge with a wide prominent nose and a mouth that hasn’t smiled yet. I don’t think he’s capable of smiling.
Eating people, yes. Smiling, no.
He has huge, rolling shoulders and a massive chest. I mean massive. It’s the size of the windshield of my car. Ah, my car is dead.
His stomach is shredded with large ab muscles. They’re perfectly symmetrical. All eight of them. Yup, I counted them. And there’s eight.
He’s wearing an animal skin loincloth that stops high on his muscular thighs. It’s then that I wonder if he is, in fact, a male. He has to be. I’m afraid to see the males if these are the females.
But he’s a male. I can tell.
Mostly, because I’m strangely attracted to him. Hey, don’t judge. You haven’t seen these abs.
I’ve always liked muscles and he’s got enough to go around. He’s standing over me with his huge arms crossed over his muscular chest and this guy is the pure embodiment of confident, alpha masculinity. I lick my lips as I look him up and down. Hey, I’m stranded and lost - not dead.
Not yet anyway.
“So, Mr. Muscles, this has been fun,” I say, biting my bottom lip. “But like I said, I’m going to leave and go find my friends.”
He steps forward and reaches down, grabbing my shorts with both of his Sasquatch hands. He gives them a little tug and for the first time in my life, I’m thankful that my mother gave me her thick hips. My shorts stay on.
I slap him hard against the cheek and my hand nearly shatters. It’s like hitting a marble statue.
He lets me go, looking at me curiously, and I’m off. I sprint to the exit and leap out of the cave, not caring that I’m back in the water which started all of this shit in the first place.
I’d rather drown than be an alien’s sex toy. Even a hot alien.
The water feels cold after the warmth of the cave and I swim away, happy about my decision to bail. That is until I see the fin approaching.
Tall. Stiff. Yellow.
And moving fast.
I do my best Michael Phelps and before the fin gets to me I’m running out of the water, taking deep breaths as I turn back and give the weird creature the finger.
The fin stops in the shallow water and I stick my tongue out at it. “That’s right, bitch!” I yell. “There’s a delicious blue guy in the cave that you can go eat. I bet he tastes like blueberries!”
It swims away and then circles back, gliding past the spot where it initially stopped. I gulp as it continues forward.
“Okay, Avery,” I whisper to myself. “Now would be a good time to start moving.”
But my body doesn’t listen. My fight or flight instinct must be broken. Unless the textbooks got it wrong and it’s fight, flight, or stand there like a fucking moron. In that case, I’m doing just fine.
My pulse is racing and I start to hyperventilate as the first leg pops out of the water. It looks like one of those little legs that lobsters have on their sides, but only it’s the size of a telephone pole. Another one pops out, then another one, then the head.
My legs are weak and my chest is burning. I’v
e never been so scared. Wet, cold, and scared. Not a fun combination.
The top of its head is covered in hard thick spikes and he has two white eyes that look as big as satellite dishes. And it’s mouth, oh, God, its mouth.
Let’s not focus on the mouth.
I don’t want to pass out and get eaten before the story starts really getting good so let’s just say that he has more teeth than the Kardashians have selfies.
Water pours off him in buckets as he lifts himself out of the river. His fin is sticking up on his head. It looked big in the water but now in perspective with his Godzilla-sized head, it looks like a toothpick.
I should run, really I should, but since the horrifying moment that I saw those dull white eyes, the thought never even crossed my terrified mind. I just stand there like a dope, waiting to get eaten. The only way I could make it any easier on him is if I pour BBQ sauce all over my head.
I cringe when I hear a booming war cry, but it’s not from the creature in front of me with the sweet tooth. It’s from the Super Smurf. He’s back and he looks pissed.
He explodes through the waterfall with a white knife clenched in his mouth. His loincloth sails up as he sails down. Yup. Definitely a male. And what a male!
He lands in the water with a gigantic splash and swims over in what looks like three strokes of his muscular arms. The creature in front of me turns back but the alien is too fast. He leaps onto the creature’s back and squeezes its disgusting head with his powerful thighs.
He takes the white knife out of his mouth and brings it down on the creature’s head, sliding it in between his horns. He does it again and again and finally, the creature’s chilling white eyes slide close and he goes limp.
The extra from the set of Avatar jumps down, washes the yellow blood off of his chest, rips off one of the scary legs from the dead creature, and walks over with his wet, dark blue hair plastered to his head. His muscles are shining from the water and jacked from the effort.
Okay. Judge all you want. He’s fucking hot.
“Thank you,” I say, unable to find any more suitable words. Not like it matters. I can say ‘banana chicken pie’ and he won’t know the difference.
