From behind Sherman, a man wearing a white shirt and black slacks appeared. Xtine could only imagine it to be the restaurant manager. “Sir,” he interrupted Sherman.
Sherman turned around to the newcomer. “Yes?”
“Sir,” the manager leaned down to Sherman and began speaking in a low register, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to take your weapons outside.”
Sherman’s brow furrowed. “My what?”
“Your dagger and bow, sir.” The manager pointed to the items strapped to Sherman’s costume. “We appreciate your business, but your weapons must remain outside.”
Sherman’s face turned a bright shade of fuchsia. “Of course. I’m sorry. I didn’t even think…” He touched his fingers to his forehead. “I’ll take care of this right away.” Sherman stood up and unstrapped his bow and dagger from his body. He glanced down at Xtine and sighed. “I really screwed this up, didn’t I?”
Xtine wanted to be kind and tell him no, but the embarrassment she felt wouldn’t allow it. “I really am sorry,” he stated. “I’ll be right back if you’ll wait for me.”
“Maybe we should both go,” Xtine suggested. “I’m not that hungry anyway.” What she really wanted was to escape the hundreds of eyes focused on them.
Sherman nodded, his eyes downcast. “I understand.”
Xtine stood from her chair, collected her belongings and followed Sherman out of the restaurant. She could almost hear the roar of laughter as they exited the establishment.
Outside, Sherman stopped and turned to her. “I’m really sorry about this.” He indicated toward his garments, tugging off the wig, and attempting to flatten his wild hair. His short locks suited him better, but didn’t change her opinion of him. “I had every intention of changing before we met, but I got caught in traffic and there was no time.”
“Why are you dressed like that?” Xtine dared to ask.
“I was at a convention all day. This is my cosplay outfit.”
Humiliation simmered in her veins. “Then why’d you agree to meet me today? We could’ve waited for a night when you didn’t already have plans.”
Sherman swayed in place, his long limbs moving ever so slightly. “I honestly thought I’d have enough time to get home and change. I should’ve cancelled when I realized I couldn’t change, but I really wanted to meet you.”
“I wanted to meet you, too,” Xtine admitted.
“How about I go home and change then we meet somewhere for coffee. What do you say?”
Xtine shook her head. “I think I’m gonna head home.”
“I ruined this, didn’t I?”
Xtine forced a smile, while mentally kicking herself for not sticking to her own kind. “You’re a nice guy, Sherman, but I think we’re just too different.”
“That’s what I thought.” He tugged at his tunic. “I really am sorry.” With that, Sherman pivoted on the heel of his boot, his cape flapping in the wind, and left her standing in the middle of the parking lot, alone.
#3: Bleeding Hearts of the World Doesn’t Even Begin Explaining the Insanity
It had been six months since Xtine’s disastrous date with Sherman. She’d gone on a few more dates after that, but no one piqued her interest. They were all the same. Conceited. Self-centered. And interested in one thing. A handsome face does not a knight make.
Though she missed the conversations they shared prior to that night, Xtine desperately tried to forget about Sherman. So it came as a surprise to her when she received an email from him. In it, he begged her to please call him. He wished to ask her a question of a time sensitive nature.
Xtine, sensing his urgency in the tone of his email, went against her gut and called the number he’d included. He answered on the second ring. “Hello?”
“Sherman, it’s Xtine.”
A loud rush of air pushed through the phone. “Oh, thank God. I’m glad you called.”
“Are you all right?”
There was a loud clatter in the background and Sherman mumbled a curse. “Not really.”
“What’s going on?”
“Please hear me out before you say no.”
Alarm bells sounded in Xtine’s head. “Um, okay.”
“My baby sister is getting married this weekend in San Diego.”
“Congratulations,” Xtine replied, fighting back a chuckle at the mental image his announcement conjured in her mind. She envisioned a themed wedding where the bride and groom dressed up as Dumbledore and Gandalf, and their nuptials included a wizarding duel to determine who was the greatest wizard of all time.
“Thanks,” he paused. “I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to put it all out there.” Xtine braced herself. She had no clue what to expect since they hardly knew one another. One date did not a friendship make. “I was wondering if you might be interested in attending the wedding with me?”
“What?” Xtine screeched. “You’ve got to be kidding.”
Another sigh came from Sherman. “I know it’s last minute and if I wasn’t in a bind I wouldn’t ask.”
“Don’t you have friends...a girlfriend you could ask?”
“Truthfully, no. Look, I’ll be happy to pay you. I’ll give you five grand for the weekend, plus all your travel expenses.”
“Are you out of your mind?” Xtine shrilled.
“Probably, but I told my mother I was bringing my girlfriend and they’re expecting me to show up with someone who looks, well, um, like you.”
“Like me?”
A long, awkward silence hung between them. “My mother knew about our date. She was so excited about it. I never had it in me to tell her what happened.”
“So you lied.”
“No. I just omitted some details.”
“That’s a lie, Sherman.”
“Fine. I didn’t mean it to be a lie. My mother harps on me constantly about finding a nice girl, so I embellished a little about our date. I thought by now she would’ve let it go, but when she asked if you were joining me as my plus one, I panicked.” Yet another moment of silence hung between them. Xtine felt terrible for Sherman. It wasn’t that he was a bad guy, she simply didn’t feel that spark she longed for. They were too different. Though she could really use the money. Plus, he was offering an all-expense paid trip to San Diego. Sure, Sherman had his quirks, but she could make it work. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. “You know what, never mind. I’ll tell my mother the truth. I should never have asked this of you. I’m sorry.”
“You say that a lot, you know.”
“Say what?”
“I’m sorry.” Xtine felt a smile tug at her cheeks.
“I know. I’m sorry.” He grunted in frustration as the words slipped past his lips again. “Call it a force of habit.”
“Well you’re going to have to break the habit if I’m going to pretend to be your girlfriend.”
Silence. Dead silence. Not even the sound of his breathing could be heard.
“Sherman, you still there?”
“Yes,” his voice broke. “You’ll do it?”
“I’ll do it.”
“You sure?”
“I said I’d do it! Now, when do you need me ready by?”
They spent the next hour solidifying their plans. Xtine strived to put his mind at ease as to whether anyone would question if they were a real couple or not. She’d faked love enough times in her life to know exactly how to act. The only difference this time was she would be paid to do it.
#4: A Woman Who Fixes Her Makeup…There Goes Believability
The three hour flight to San Diego wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable as Xtine had expected, though Sherman wouldn’t have agreed. The whole time he was sweating bullets, terrified that this scheme they’d concocted wouldn’t work. No one in his family would ever believe a woman like Xtine could actually be intimately involved with him. His brother, yes. Him, absolutely not.
Sherman carried the burden of the middle child. He was socially awkward in comparison
to his All-Star older brother and his dainty princess younger sister. All his life he was the brains of the family, and for the most part he wore that title with pride. Except when it came to women. Spencer, Sherman’s brother, had a new supermodel on his arm every week. Spencer was the epitome of a man’s man. Every guy wanted to be him and every woman wanted to date him. Sherman’s parents struggled to understand why he couldn’t find himself a steady girlfriend. It was for that very reason he was drawn to Craigslist in the first place. He’d tried all the major dating sites, from Tinder to eHarmony. Bars weren’t his scene, and the women he met at the fandom conventions only wanted his cosplay character. Never him.
When Xtine responded to his ad, he thought his luck might’ve changed. Xtine was educated, funny, and someone who spoke to his fandom heart. He was humiliated at the outcome of their one and only date. Originally he planned to bring clothes with him, but hated the idea of changing at the convention where he wouldn’t be able to shower. So instead he opted to return home to change. What he hadn’t counted on was a huge accident on the freeway, delaying him nearly three hours.
Upon arriving at the restaurant, he was floored at the beautiful woman waiting for him. Her outward appearance was just as beautiful as her inward appearance. A feeling he held even after her rejection. A woman like Xtine deserved a man who wouldn’t humiliate her on their first date.
Sherman cut his eyes to the gorgeous creature sitting beside him in their shared Uber. He’d forgotten all about telling his mother about Xtine, and bathed in the reprieve of her harping on him about dating until she’d mentioned bringing Xtine to the wedding. Sending Xtine the email was a longshot that somehow paid off.
He twirled his thumbs in his lap, his leg bouncing uncontrollably. Xtine reached over and took him by the hand, causing him to jump. “Breathe, Sherman.”
Sherman exhaled through his nose, his nostrils flaring. He wanted to relax, but how could he when he was about to boldface lie to his entire family?
Xtine leaned in, the warmth of her body pressing against him. “Trust me. Everything’s going to be fine.”
“How do you know?”
“Because…”
He turned an incredulous eye to her. “That’s your answer? Because!”
Xtine smirked and dropped her gaze to their now linked fingers. “Yep.”
She squeezed his hand. Sherman lowered his eyes and smiled. “You’re good at this.”
She shrugged one shoulder, giving him a wink. “I know. Now, how long ‘til we arrive?”
“Five minutes or so.”
“Perfect. That gives me a few minutes to fix my makeup.”
A girl who was worried about fixing her makeup. With him. That solidified his fears. No one would ever believe Xtine belonged to him. How could they when he couldn’t believe it? This weekend was going to be a disaster.
#5. Whoa! Where the Heck Did That Come From?
The Uber driver pulled up to a house on a hill surrounded by gorgeous, looming trees and a beachfront view. Xtine was immediately drawn in by the serenity of the home.
“You grew up here?”
“I did.” Sherman opened the car door and slid out. Xtine followed him and helped him pull their luggage from the trunk.
“This is fantastic. I didn’t realize…”
“That I came from money?” he joked, or at least pretended to.
“You seem so down to earth,” she admitted. Sherman shut the trunk and the driver drove away.
“Wealth doesn’t equal snobbery, Xtine. That’s simply how pop culture portrays it.”
Xtine dropped her luggage on the ground and turned Sherman by the shoulders to face her. “Okay. First, don’t call me Xtine. To you, I’m X. Everyone who knows me well always calls me X.”
Sherman snarled. “I don’t like that.”
“What?”
He shook his head. “Calling you X. It feels like I’m devaluing who you are. I like you…your name.” His face scrunched up as he fumbled through his words.
That was the first time anyone had ever said such a thing to her. She found his sincerity endearing. “Okay. Xtine it is, then.”
He shoved his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Good.”
“With that decided, you might want to get used to me calling you baby.”
“Baby?” Sherman wrinkled his nose again. “Why would you call me that?”
“Because we’re dating, silly.”
“Oh.”
Xtine chuckled. “You don’t date much, do you?”
“That obvious?”
“A little.” She touched his cheek and stepped in closer to him. “One last thing before we go inside. Kiss me.”
Panic surged inside him. “What?”
“We have to make this look natural. If you want your family to believe we’re dating, you’re gonna have to kiss me.”
“Now?”
“Better to get the kinks worked out beforehand, don’t you think?”
Sherman ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know.”
Xtine, realizing his internal struggle, took matters into her own hands. She cupped both sides of his face. Before he could make any sort of dispute, she planted a kiss on him. It started off slow, awkward, on the borderline of platonic. Sherman was stiff, his hands hanging at his side, but Xtine continued on. She placed his hands on her hips, drawing his body even closer to hers. Her mouth moved against his, lightly gliding her tongue along his bottom lip. Sherman complied with her silent request, opening his mouth and allowing her to slip her tongue past his lips.
Sparks began to fly between them, as Sherman relaxed. He moved his hands up the ridge of her spine, pressing her body hard against his. Her eyes fluttered closed and her hands lifted to his hair, lost in his kiss. Desire cascaded through her veins, a reaction she hadn’t expected. Deeper and deeper they were drawn into the kiss. A tangle of limbs, lips, and tongues, they lost all sense of the world around them. It was almost as if two magnets were drawn together, polar opposites, but meant to be.
The urge to sweep her off her feet consumed him. His mouth became bolder, hotter, desperate for more. Xtine pushed up on her toes, bridging the remaining gap between them.
“Ackhem.”
Xtine’s eyes flew open, as did Sherman’s. They both pulled away, flushed. Sherman wiped the corners of his mouth while Xtine touched her fingers to her lips. She’d never experienced a kiss such as this before; one that reached the recesses of her soul. She lifted her eyes to the cause of their interruption. A tall man, sinewy, resembling Sherman stared at them with his brows lifted. Had her mind not been swimming from that kiss, Xtine might’ve paid notice to him. He was exactly the kind of guy who typically garnered her interest. Instead, she stared at Sherman in amazement. This man, this strange, odd man left an impression on her that she wouldn’t easily be able to shake.
“Spencer!” Sherman exclaimed, meeting his brother in a hug.
Spencer clapped Sherman’s back. “How are you, Bro?”
They pulled apart and Sherman took a step back toward Xtine, wrapping his arm around her. “I’m well.” Sherman smiled, rushing his fingers through his hair. He dipped his head toward Xtine. “Let me introduce you to…” Sherman paused, unsure as to how he should introduce her. Xtine intervened. She thrust her hand out toward Spencer. “Hi. I’m Xtine, Sherman’s girlfriend.” The word rolled off her tongue with ease, and for a moment she imagined calling herself that for real.
“Yes,” Sherman followed up. “My girlfriend. Xtine, this is my brother, Spencer.”
Spencer took Xtine’s outstretched hand and shook. “It’s nice to meet you.” He released her hand. “And here I thought you were Sherman’s Snuffleupagus.”
Xtine furrowed her brow, looking to Sherman for clarification. Sherman rolled his eyes. “My brother is insinuating that you’re my imaginary girlfriend.”
“Oh. I see.” She looked down her own body then back to Spencer. “I guess I’m a real girl after all.”
>
Spencer pursed his lips. “Yes you are. So, what’s a girl like you doing with my knucklehead of a brother?”
Xtine wrapped her arm around Sherman’s waist and smiled up at him. “I like the way he kisses.”
The tips of Sherman’s ears burned hot. He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss to her lips. Xtine could feel Spencer’s eyes on them, taking in their sweet moment.
“Get a room, you two.” Spencer clapped Sherman on the shoulder. He leaned into his brother and whispered, “Watch out for this one. She’s way out of your league.”
“I know,” Sherman admitted, his chest constricting. If his brother only knew the truth. He shuddered at the thought and put it out of his mind, at least for the moment.
#6: There’s Always One in Every Bunch
“Sherman!” A svelte woman raced toward them as they entered the house. “I’m so happy you’re here.” She pulled Sherman into a warm embrace, then punched Spencer in the arm. “This jerkwad’s no help at all.”
“Hey!” Spencer growled. “I’ve busted my ass for days trying to help you.”
Sherman kissed the woman’s temple. “Well, I’m here now.” He reached back toward Xtine, grasping for her hand. Xtine couldn’t contain the smile that appeared on her face as they linked fingers. “Xtine, this is my sister and bride-to-be, Sabrina.”
Sabrina ripped Xtine from Sherman’s grasp. “Oh thank God you’re here, too. I need a sensible woman in this place. Can you believe my mother thinks we should get dressed at the church instead of the here? The insanity!”
Xtine’s eyes widened, her breath ripped from her lungs by Sabrina’s tight hold.
Sherman pried them apart. “Sis, can I have my girlfriend back before you strangle her to death?”
Sabrina released her and Xtine inhaled deeply. “Thank you,” she gasped, finding her new favorite place at Sherman’s side.
“You’re so cute together,” Sabrina squealed. “Look at them, Spencer. Aren’t they adorable?”
What the Heart Wants: An Opposites Attract Anthology Page 20
