by Vicki Green
She looks down, concentratin’ on what she wants to say. I place my hand under her chin, her eyes meet mine again as I lift it. “It feels like what?” I whisper.
She moves quickly, her mouth pressin’ against mine. I move my hand from her chin and bring my arm around her, bringing her in closer. Her lips are so soft, warmed by the sun. I feel her hand move up my arm onto my shoulder and then around the back of my neck. She pulls me closer still. I don’t want it to end. Never. But she pulls back, her chest risin’ and fallin’ with her heavy breathin’. She smiles. A breathtakin’ smile. “I’ve wanted to do that again since last night, so badly.” I smile, can’t help it. Then I oblige her again, thinking she wouldn’t mind, and put my lips against hers. They part, letting me in, not hesitating. I lean over her, as we continue. Our tongues finding each other’s as she lays back and I hover over her more than willing body. She arches her back when I nip at her bottom lip, my hand covers her breast. I begin kneading it, rubbing over it, gently, and wishing it was her bare skin.
She stills and I become alarmed. I pull back but look into her eyes. “I’m sorry. Am I going to fast? Too much?” The corners of her mouth lift into a smile. She cups my face with her hand, the softness foreign against the light hair there. I close my eyes, reveling in the feelin’.
“Slow, remember?” I open my eyes. Her smile still there. My heart is poundin’ so hard I can actually feel it in my chest. “But don’t stop entirely.” I grin and don’t hesitate, lowering back over her and kissin’ her lips. Her hand grasps my arm, my muscle flinches with the contact.
We kiss for a long time, savorin’, getting to know each other. I stop, my lips still against hers, when I hear the bell in our yard signaling supper’s ready. Her mouth spreads into a grin and I move up a little. “Guess its supper time.”
She nods, still smiling. “Guess so.”
“Guess we should head back.” My smile feels frozen on my mouth.
“Guess we should.” Her smile equally as big.
There’s something still weighin’ on my mind. “About Jag….” She releases my arm, placing two fingers over my lips. I kiss them.
“I don’t have feelings for Jag, Memphis.” She looks at me pleadingly, hopin’ I’ll believe her.
“I believe you. Just be careful around him when I’m not around. I don’t trust him. Somethin’ doesn’t set right with me.” I frown, hopin’ she’ll understand. Hopin’ she’ll be careful.
She starts to sit up so I grab her arms helping to lift her. “I’ll be careful, Memphis. I promise.” That’s all I can ask.
I nod, standin’ up and helpin’ her as I move. I turn and start to walk to the house when her arm slides around mine. I reach over and put my hand on her arm and smile. “I think for now maybe it would be a good idea not to spring this….” I wave my finger back and forth between us. “On everyone, just yet. I’m not tryin’ to hide how I feel but under the circumstance I just think it would be wise to ease everyone into this. I’m really thinkin’ of you. Does that bother you?”
She looks up at me as we continue to walk and smiles. “I’m good with that. And thank you.”
I stop. Her arm tugs mine as she keeps walking but then stops and turns to me. “Thank you for what, sweetheart?”
She takes the two steps to me, leans up on her tiptoes, and speaks against my mouth. “Thank you for caring enough. For wanting to try with me. For taking it slow.” Her lips press hard against mine and stop almost as soon as they start. She smiles again, turns and we start walking again.
I don’t think anything or anyone could remove the smile from my mouth.
Sadie
We walk to the house, and as we reach the deck steps, he pulls his arm from mine and takes my hand, helping me until we get to the top. Such a gentleman. With the way I’m feeling, I’m not sure I can hide the smile from my face. He opens the back door, and we enter the kitchen. Mable’s head turns stopping from removing whatever is in the oven and winks at us, giving an all knowing smile. I’m glad at least she knows and can’t wait to talk with her about us. This is something I would have loved to talk to my mom about, never getting the chance in reaching this stage of my life before she was taken from me. My heart starts to feel heavy with loss, but then I feel a tug on my hand and look up at Memphis. He has a worry crease across his forehead. His eyebrows are lowered, and he looks concerned. I tug back on his hand then squeeze it, and my mouth turns up into a smile. I nod, hoping he can tell that I’m okay. He relaxes and leans down, kissing my cheek tenderly, then releases my hand and walks over to the sink. I watch as he turns on the faucet and starts washing his hands. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this, deserve him, but I thank God for him.
It was weird at dinner. Quiet. Memphis kept giving Jag strange looks, and I know at least Mac and Dallis noticed, not sure about Jag. I just kept quiet, looking down as I picked at the casserole on my plate. Jag was the first to get up and leave, followed by Mac and Dallis. When I heard the front door close, I let out the breath I had apparently been holding. “God that was tense.”
“I’m sorry.” I look up at him and sigh. “I guess I’m not as good at hiding my feelin’s as I thought. Ma had always said I wear my feelin’s on my sleeve.”
A burst of a laugh leaves my mouth and I cover it with my hand. One of his eyebrows raises, a smirk on that luscious mouth of his then he chuckles. That deep sound resonates into my chest and down my body, right where I ache for him. I have no idea how I’m looking but suddenly his eyes darken and his faces changes from happy to different expression. Like he could eat me. I can feel the wetness that’s forming in my core and clench my legs together. As if he knows, his eyes squint and his chest begins heaving. “I think you need to quit lookin’ at me like that, darlin’.” How am I looking at him? He looks like he’s ready to attack. Oh, my God! I’m about to combust!
I grab my plate, stand up quickly, and grab the bowl in front of me. Mable walks into the room, embarrassment overtaking me. “MABLE!” I shout then get even more embarrassed for shouting. I can feel the heat on my face. “I mean…. I’ll help you.” She smiles, knowingly, and then picks up a couple of dishes and takes them into the kitchen. I walk towards the kitchen but almost drop the things in my hands when I feel his large, strong hand grasp my thigh. “Oh!” I look down, his eyes looking up at me, a devilish grin on his mouth. Damn him! I’m so out of my element, so in trouble. My emotions are all over the place, my stomach tied in knots and tingles are flowing up my leg where he’s touching me. “I have to…. I….” I pull my leg forward but it doesn’t budge. Finally, he winks then releases his grip and I almost fall again. Is he trying to kill me? I regain my senses and make my way into the kitchen, feeling light hearted. Like there’s an extra pep in my step.
I turn my head, watching Memphis stand from his chair and start to walk out of the room, and I almost bump into Mable. I turn around just in time to stop myself. She grabs the dishes from my hands and laughs. “Child, you’re a little wobbly there. Maybe you should sit down and leave the cleanin’ up to me.” I hear the front door close and sit down, my legs beginning to shake. What in the hell is wrong with me? I sit there numbly while she finishes bringing in the rest of the dishes and then begins cleaning them, loading the dishwasher. I feel bad that I’m not helping, but I don’t think I can stand, successfully. She finishes and walks over wiping her hands on a cloth, then sits down at the table beside me. “You’ve got it bad, honey.”
A burst of laughter escapes my mouth. “All of a sudden, I feel like I can’t do anything right.” My brows lower and my heart accelerates. “What’s wrong with me?”
She pats my hand and smiles. “If I’m not mistaken, you’re in love or maybe in lust?” I shake my head slowly and then nod once. She leans back and laughs but then her face changes, her smile gone. “Oh, honey! I envy you!” My eyes widen with her admission. She looks up at the ceiling. “I remember what that feels like, even though it was so long ago.” She sighs. “Some
things you never forget. I remember as if it were yesterday.”
“Memphis’ dad,” I whisper.
She looks at me, her smile sad. “Yes. He was such a wonderful man. Memphis is so much like him.” She leans down, resting her arms on the table, and smiles. “Hold onto a man like that, honey. They are a dime a dozen.” She pats my hand, stands, and I watch her open the back door. “I’m going to bed. Suddenly, I’m exhausted. Night, dear.” She smiles again and then walks out the door, closing it behind her.
God, I need my mom but Mable is the closest thing I have right now. I wonder what she was like when she was younger. Did anything ever happen with her and Memphis’ dad? I wish I could talk to Tina. I need my best friend.
Slowly, I get up and make my way to the front door. When I open it, I find Memphis sitting on the porch on a wooden chair. The door makes a click when I close it, and his head turns with the sound. His face looks like he’s been thinking hard. “I’m, uh…. I think I’ll go to bed. Uh! You know, to sleep.” Could my face burn any brighter? Embarrassed as hell, I start to walk to the steps when his voice stops me.
“Can we talk, just for a minute?” He sounds kind of shy, but his eyes look hopeful.
I nod, afraid to speak, not wanting to embarrass myself any further. For some reason, I seem to be a bumbling fool when I’m around him. I walk over and sit down in a chair beside him, folding my hands in my lap, nervous to look at him.
“Ya know Pa used to tell me that love does funny things to people.” My eyes shift over his way. He’s looking out into the vastness of the front yard. His hands are clasped in front of him, and his elbows rest on his knees. He chuckles. “He said some get downright crazy.” He turns his head my way and gives me his gorgeous smile. I feel myself relax a little. “I thought how weird that was back then, but I can tell you that I know just what he means now. When I look at you my heart speeds up until I can feel it beating against my skin.” He puts his hand on his chest where his heart is. “I feel like I can’t think right, like I’ve completely lost my mind.” I purse my lips, trying not to smile. God, I know that feeling! “But then when we are alone, sittin’ there talking or maybe even kissin’ a bit, I feel like I’m the luckiest man in the world. Like I could do anything, be anything.” My chin quivers and I have a hard time holding the tears in my eyes at bay. He leans over, taking my hand and threads his fingers through, clasping them tight. “When I touch you, feel you, I get lost in that feeling. I get lost in you.”
We just stare at each other, memorizing each other’s faces. Slowly, we lean towards one another. My lips part slightly, clearing not thinking about anything but being against his. As we press our lips together, I feel his other hand pushing underneath my hair and around the back of my neck, pulling me even closer. The hand holding mine brings them up together, and he places them over his heart. I can feel it beating wildly. “Do you feel that?” he whispers against my lips. I nod, slightly, my lips moving up and down over his. “That’s for you. That’s what you make me feel like when I’m with you. Even when we’re not together, just thinkin’ about you makes it beats fast.” Damn, he’s killing me here. My smile spreads across his lips then I kiss him again.
I don’t know how long we’re out here, how long we sit snuggled up together, kissing, and hugging, but it’s dark now. I start to shiver and he tells me I should go to bed. “Alone?” I ask, a hint of laughter in my voice, maybe a bit of hope.
He leans down and kisses my forehead then lays his head on top of mine. “I wish I could say no, but then that wouldn’t be takin’ it slow.” I nod, his head following my movement. “We have time. We have so much time and I want to savor every second.”
We finally untangle from each other’s arms, his hand helping me to stand, then he walks me over to the house, kissing me one last time before he leaves. A good night kiss that I still feel tingling on my lips as I walk inside. The lights are off but as I walk to the hallway I notice Jag’s light is still on. Do I dare? Softly, I walk down the hall and tap lightly on his door. It’s as if he knew I was coming as the door opens quickly.
“Just getting in?” He smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. I look down, a little embarrassed and wring my hands. “I’m just kidding! Whaddya need?”
I look up and smile. “Well, I was kind of hoping I could borrow your laptop again?” He rolls his eyes. “Just for a little while. I promise!”
He opens the door the rest of the way and throws his arm out toward his desk. “Sure, love me only for my laptop.” He laughs and I walk over to the desk, unplug it and pick it up, cradling it in my arms. “Use it as long as you want. Really.”
“Okay, thank you. I promise I’ll bring it back down in just a bit.”
I start to walk through the doorway, but he stops me. “Nah, bring it down in the morning. It’s not like I’ll need it while I’m sleeping.” He winks, and I give him a nod and walk down the hallway.
I hear his door close, and I bolt up the steps, jogging into my room and locking the door behind me. I make quick work of brushing my teeth and hair, then getting into my long t-shirt and climb into bed under the covers. I rest back against the headboard, putting the laptop on my legs and power it up. I can’t wait to email Tina and tell her everything!
Chapter Eight
Memphis
Damn! I feel…. I feel light, excited, and beyond overwhelmed with emotions. I lay in bed, my head restin’ on my arm, and lookin’ up at the ceiling. All I can think about is her, our talk, our kissin’. I take a deep breath rememberin’ her smell and sigh. Shit! I’m turning into a girl. I chuckle to myself. Pa always said guy’s emotions are a little different than girls, but I think some things we feel the same. We both have needs, desires. All I know is I’m fallin’ fast and hard for this woman, and I’m not sure I want to stop, or that I can slow down. But, I must try, for her. My body aches for her, for her touch, to be inside her. God! I want to feel that. Be inside her, to love her entirely, completely. I want more than her heart. I want all of her.
My hand moves from underneath my head to under the covers and down to where I feel the ache the most for her. My cock is so hard, pulsing. I stroke it and can already feel the wetness at the tip, visualizing her in my mind. What I wouldn’t give for her luscious mouth to cover it, swiping the tip with her tongue, her teeth grazin’ it up and down as she moves. Fuck! Liquid squirts out over my stomach until it’s completely drained. I sigh in relief as I push the covers back and climb out of bed, walking straight into the bathroom. I grab a wash cloth from under the cabinet and turn on the faucet, getting the water warm then clean myself. I look into the mirror, layin’ the cloth on the counter, pressin’ my hands down. The bags under my eyes tellin’ me I need sleep but after that, it only left me wantin’ more, wantin’ the real thing. Wantin’ her.
The next mornin’, I keep catchin’ her smilin’ at me while we eat breakfast. She seems lost in her own little world until she looks over at me, then her face blushes this beautiful light shade of pink, and the hidden smile appears. Jag, however, looks like he wants to kill me and when he looks at Sadie, he looks like she’s what he wants for breakfast. I almost growl until I hear her sweet voice.
“So the barn extension is almost done, huh?” I stare at her luscious mouth as she slides her fork between her lips.
“Uh, yeah,” I croak, clearing my throat. “I was thinkin’.” I look around the table at everyone except Jag. “How ‘bout as soon as we get the walls painted we take a break the rest of the day? I think you’ve all earned a little time off.”
“Sounds right nice to me.” Dallis smiles.
“I’m good with that, thank ya. Horses, chickens, and cows will still need to be tended though,” Mac states. “I’ll get that done this mornin’.”
“I’ll help with the cows!” The words burst from Sadie’s mouth, and I can’t help but smile. “I mean…. I’ve kind of gotten used to it, even though you have that machine. I miss Bessie.” She smiles back, and my heart is full.
I smack my hands down on the table, making her jump a bit, but then she smiles and lets out a laugh. “It’s settled then. For lunch, I’ll cook out. Steaks, chicken, corn on the cob…. We’ll have the works. A celebration.” Sounds of approval come from everyone, even Jag. I look back at Sadie, and her smile is the biggest I’ve seen on her beautiful face yet. I love havin’ that effect on her. Well, I’m hopin’ it’s ‘cos of me.
“Sounds good. I’m down for a celebration,” Jag says while looking straight at Sadie. What is he up to? Pangs of jealousy fill me as my hand turns into a fist underneath the table. I can tell she’s tryin’ to ignore him but can see her look over his way from the corner of her eye.
We finish breakfast, everyone having a smile on their face as they leave the room. I help clear the table, Sadie sayin’ she wanted to get started on the cows. I admire her eagerness, her startin’ to feel close to the animals, the land. When I walk into the kitchen, I hear coughing. I quickly look over at Mable, who is leaning her hand against the counter, the other covering her mouth.
“Oh, honey! I’m afraid I’m a little down with the weather today. I can try to help cook up some fixin’s for your cookout but I’m afraid I’m gonna have to rest for a bit today.”
Her skin is so pale on her face and she seems to be shaking. I set the dishes down next to her and grasp her arm. “No! Don’t you worry about anythin’. Come, let me help you home. You need to take it easy. It’s okay to have a day off.” She smiles at me sweetly and lets me lead her out the back door and over to her house. She refuses to go to bed but sits down on the couch. I walk into her small kitchen and pour water into the kettle, settin’ it on her stove to heat up some water for tea. She loves her tea.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I never get sick. Must be somethin’ in the air,” she rambles on as I get a cup from the cabinet then pour in the steaming water. I grab her small box of raspberry tea and take both into the living room, settin’ them down on the end table next to her. She looks up, her eyes watery, and smiles. “Thanks, sweetie.”
