by Vicki Green
He moans, calling out my name. I try to focus on him, on his face. Beads of sweat cover his forehead. The skin on his arms that I’m gripping like my life depends on it is covered in a light sheen of perspiration. His eyes close tight, his lips part as his head tilts back slightly. He looks like a God, like he’s just experienced the most pleasurable thing in life. His eyes open as he pumps in and out a few more times. He smiles. Not just a normal smile but one of satisfaction. He leans down and kisses me, not frenzied, not hurried. Reverently. I can’t believe I just lost my virginity, not to just anyone, but to the man I admire, respect. To the man I love.
Do I say it to him? Does he expect me to? I want to. I want to shout it. The words are on the tip of my tongue. What if he doesn’t feel the same? What if it will scare him off? Our eyes search each other’s as he pulls back but a breath away.
“I love you, Sadie,” he whispers.
My heart rate feels like it can’t get any faster. His sentiment washes over me, through me. I blink several times. My chin begins to quiver, and I can feel the tears forming in my eyes. He reaches up, laying his hand on the side of my face, careful of my stitches. His thumb moves back and forth, caressing me. “You don’t have to say it back. Not why I said it. Just how I feel.”
I lean up and press my mouth against his. My hands release their tight grip on his arms and move up around his neck. I can feel the tears expel from my eyes, traveling down into my hair. I try to convey my love for him in this kiss, but I’m not sure I’m succeeding. I pull back and look into his dreamy eyes. “I love you too, Memphis. So much it hurts.” He smiles and then gives me a tender kiss. He looks at me again, wiping a few tears from the side of my face.
“Why are you cryin’, darlin’? This should be a happy time.” He smiles, and I give him one back but my chin is still quivering, and I can’t breathe through my plugged nose.
A small laugh bursts from my mouth. “I am happy. So happy. But I can’t breathe.” I sniff rather loudly and he laughs, moving off me. I feel cold inside as he pulls out, not wanting him to leave. I watch him climb off the bed and walk into the bathroom. A pulsing still resides down in my core, a pleasant feeling. One that reminds me of what we’d just done. I feel light, energetic, like I want to dance around and sing. I close my eyes, reveling in all my emotions. I feel the bed dip and start to open my eyes but startle as I feel something warm against me where there is a little tenderness, soreness. I look at him, cleaning me with a wash cloth. Caring, loving, tender. His face is concentrated, like he’s making sure to take care of me completely. God, I love him.
He walks to the bathroom and then comes back to me, climbing back into bed and under the covers. He tucks them around me as he pulls me into his arms. He kisses my head, tells me he loves me, and falls asleep quickly. Poor thing. He must be tired with Spotty being born in the middle of the night and working diligently all day. I sigh in my happy state. I’ve read so many romance books, pouring over words of a couple’s ecstasy, their throws of passion. Never did I imagine I would feel anywhere near what I had read, a description from someone’s imagination. But I did feel that and so much more.
The next morning I awaken with his kisses of admiration all over my body. I giggle when his lips tickle me at some of my more sensitive areas. He smiles as he crawls back up my body, his eyes dark with desire. He made love to me with so much love, reverence, worried I was still sore from the night before. I feel like he’s put me on a pedestal and hope I can live up to that and love him back with the same intensity.
A couple of hours later, he insisted on driving Tina and me into town. Said he needed to get some supplies to finish the roof on the shed. I believe him. However, I also think he doesn’t want to let me out of his sight after what happened last time I came into town, even though Tina is with me this time. He kissed me goodbye as he walked across the street, heading to the hardware store. Tina rolled her eyes and then put her arm through mine as we walk to the shop door. We spent a few hours sitting down at a table with plans spread out and going over the few things we want to change. I don’t want to change much. It’s such a quaint place just as it is. We walk into the back room and make a list of all the supplies we will need. Then we end up getting into a flour fight. God, I missed her!
I use my new cell phone for the first time, my old one forgotten, and text Memphis that we are going to the grocery store to get our stuff. He texted back, which I didn’t know he knew how to do, and told us he’d either meet us there or back at the shop. I smile as I read his message. “God, girl. You’ve got it so bad!” Tina laughs. I look up and just smile, the same smile that I can’t seem to remove since last night. We wander around the grocery store, our cart getting very full. “I’m gonna go over there and check out the bakery. I’ll be right back.” I look up and nod then go back to reading the ingredients on a bag I’m holding. Finally, I put it in my cart and grab a few more than roll on down the aisle. Tina seems to be taking forever, so I start heading towards the bakery. When I round a corner, I bump into her. She looks like she’s seen a ghost.
I run over to her and grab her arms. “Tina. What’s wrong? Are you okay?’ Her hand is shaking when she holds out a piece of paper, her eyes wide with fear. I look down and read it, my heart racing.
You can’t hide. You can’t escape me. It would be really bad if something happens to his place. You will be mine.
I crumple up the paper as I clench my fist.
“What are you gonna do?” She asks shakily.
I reach in my pocket and get out my phone, sending a text quickly. “Let’s check out and get back to the shop. Now.” She nods and helps me push the cart to the checkout lane.
Chapter Seventeen
Memphis
My phone vibrates in my pocket. I’m still not used to feelin’ that yet. I take it out and swipe the screen, smiling when I see her name. After last night and this morning, I feel like I’m walking on air, my heart soars when I think of her. I click on it, and my heart chokes me as I read. I almost drop it as I start to run. “Hey, Memphis! Your stuff is on its way from the back!” Nate calls out.
I shake my head, not able to speak, as I race out the store and head across the street. A car honks, their tires screechin’, as they come close to hittin’ me. I get to the shop and pull on the door, but it’s locked. I beat on the glass. “SADIE!” I scream. I cover my eyes with my hand, peering in the door, but there’s no movement. “SADIE!” I scream again and start beatin’ on the door. Tina runs out from the back. Her face is pale. She unlocks the door and I almost knock her over as I run towards the back. “Lock that!” I yell but continue to run. I slide on the floor, losing my footing, and grab ahold of the door frame. I’m out of breath but see Sadie sittin’ on the floor, her knees up and her arms clenching them tightly. She looks up as I walk over and bend down then she’s in my arms before I can blink, crying’ into my chest.
“Why won’t he leave? Why can’t things ever go right?” She asks through her tears.
I’m confused as to what’s happened. I look up as Tina walks up beside me. Worry mars her face as she hands me a piece of paper. Anger swells as I read it then I take out my phone, keeping Sadie tucked in my arm, and dial. “Brewton Sheriff’s Office, how can I help you?”
“Linda, patch me through to Henry. Now.”
“Memphis. Okay, hold on.”
I look down at Sadie. She’s quit crying but is sniffling. I look up at Tina, and she nods, leavin’ quickly then coming back with a tissue. I take it from her and hold it against Sadie’s nose. “Here, baby.” Her eyes move up to mine, and she gives me a small nod then takes it from me and blows her nose.
“Memphis,” Henry’s voice pulls me back to my phone.
“Henry. Sadie got a threatenin’ note. I’m sure it’s that douchebag.”
“Where are you?” He asks curtly, but I know it’s out of concern.
“At the coffee shop,” I tell him as I keep an eye on Sadie.
“I’ll be ri
ght over.”
The line goes dead, and I return it to my pocket. “Come on, darlin’. Let’s get you to a chair.” I stand, keepin’ my arms around her. She’s stopped shakin’ now and I lead her out, helpin’ her sit down at a table. I turn to go close the blinds on all the windows and the door, when she grabs my shirt.
“Don’t leave me,” she whispers, lookin’ up with tear filled, swollen eyes.
I squat down next to her and reach up, tuckin’ some of her long hair behind her ear, leavin’ my hand there. “I’m just gonna go close all the blinds, baby. I won’t be far. I’ll never leave you.” I lean up and kiss her forehead, and she nods, releasing her hold. Tina pulls the blinds down over the door and walks to the next window as I start from the other end of the room working my way back. “Stay by the door, Tina. Henry will be here any second.” She nods and stays put. A couple of minutes later, a tap comes on the door. I quickly walk over, havin’ finished my task, and peek through the blinds. I unlock the door and pull it open, relockin’ it as soon as he enters.
“Hey, Memphis. Can I have the note?” I hand it to him and look over at Sadie while he reads it. Tina is over with her, sittin’ beside her and rubbin’ her back. She seems to be better, just snifflin’, but the definite signs of cryin’ are in her eyes. “You think this is Jag?” I look back at him and nod.
“I’m sure of it. He hates me after kickin’ him out and I know he’s always had feelin’s for her.” Anger wells as I remember how he looked at her, how I felt when he did. I know it was jealousy, but maybe I had another kind of feelin’ too. Maybe, deep down, I knew he was no good. I wish I’d never answered his email or told him that I wouldn’t hire him.
“Well, I’ve had my men out lookin’ for him after he attacked Sadie. He’s hidin’ really well.” He looks over at Sadie and continues. “I think it would be best to put off the openin’ here until he’s found. Better than takin’ chances. I’d keep her at home.” He looks back at me and pats my arm. “I’ll send a car over, park it down a ways from your house, and set up a shift. We’ll get ‘em, Memphis. Don’t you worry.”
I look over at Sadie. “I hope so, Henry.”
He leaves shortly after and I help the girls get things cleaned up and get them in the truck. I drive across the street and call the hardware store. They brought out all the lumber and loaded it in the back of the truck. When I get them home, Tina immediately takes Sadie upstairs so she can lie down. On the way walkin’ down to the barn, I pull out my phone and hit a number. “Hello? Memphis. Is everything okay?” The last person I ever thought I’d call regardin’ Sadie.
“Colby. I need help.”
About a half an hour later a knock sounds on the door. I walk over and open it. Colby stands there with a concerned look on his face. “Thanks for comin’, man.” He nods and walks in. “You can take one of the spare rooms upstairs.” He starts to walk towards them, but I stop him, puttin’ my hand on his shoulder. He turns and gives me a frown. “Look. I just want you to know how much we appreciate this. I appreciate it. I know there’s been a little…. Tension between us. I’m sorry for that. You seem like a really good guy. I….”
He puts his hand on my arm. “Hey, she’s made her choice. I know she has, I can tell. I only want what’s best for her and you. I’ll stand by you both.”
Relief floods me. Well, not entirely but this sure helps. “Thanks.”
He nods again and then walks away. I walk down to the barn and find Mac sittin’ by Frisky and the new calf while Dallis is putting feed in her trough. “Hey, guys.” I walk over and sit down on a bale of hay by the stall. They stop and come sit down by me. “Sadie got a threatenin’ note. Pretty sure it’s from Jag. Sheriff’s on it. He’s sending out a car to sit up the road, changin’s shifts, and I….” I rub the back of my head, hating to admit I had Colby come over. “I asked Colby to come stay for a bit. You know, just extra protection.”
Dallis laughs and Mac fights a smile. Great.
“Hey, ain’t nothin’ wrong with gettin’ extra help. You can’t do it with just us or all by yourself, Memphis. I was just messin’ with ya.” Dallis reaches over and punches my arm. “’Sides, we could use help finishin’ the roof. First snow may be comin’ soon or worse, rain.”
I chuckle. “Yeah, well, I’d rather one of us be with Sadie all the time.” I frown, my brows creasin’ along with my forehead. “I know I seem kinda tough and all but guys…. I’m really worried and a little scared. I can’t let anything happen to her. She means too much to me.”
Mac put his hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “We know she does, Memphis. You’re not that good at hidin’ your feelin’s.” He laughs and that makes me raise my eyebrows and laugh too.
“Yeah, we’ve known for a while now. But if it’s any help, she’s one that would be hard to resist,” Dallis speaks up.
I look down and shake my head, a smile on my face. I look back up at them. “Wow. And here I thought I’d been hidin’ it pretty well. Guess you all have just gotten to know me too well.” I grow serious. “Thanks, guys. I really ‘preciate all your help. You’ve both come to be like family.”
Mac looks down and smiles. “Aww, don’t be gettin’ all mushy on us.”
I laugh and smack his arm. I’m feelin’ so blessed.
I help them finish feedin’ the animals and then tell them to take the rest of the day off, that I’ll be fixin’ supper shortly. I go inside and up to my room, intendin’ on takin’ a shower. When I walk in, Sadie’s fast asleep, and Tina’s sittin’ on the chair in the corner asleep as well. I go take my shower, put on some clean clothes and go down to the kitchen. When I walk in, I find Colby cookin’. “You don’t have to do that. I was fixin’ on makin’ somethin’.”
He turns and smiles. “Nah. When I get stressed, I cook. Might as well make supper. I hope you don’t mind me raidin’ your fridge.”
I shake my head, givin’ him a genuine smile as I walk to the fridge. I take out two beers and hand him one. “Need to keep our senses about us, but one won’t hurt. ‘Preciate you fixin’ supper. I understand the need to keep busy.” I lean against the breakfast bar and we have a really great talk. He’s actually a really great guy. We talked about when we were in school together, back when we were hooligans and cuttin’ up all the time. There’s so much I’d forgotten, the trouble we used to get into together. It’s been so long, so much time passed.
Tina came downstairs long enough to tell me that Sadie didn’t feel like comin’ down for supper. I told her to go ahead and eat then I filled two plates and went upstairs to her. When I walk into the room, she’s sittin’ on the bed, her arms around her knees and starin’ out the window. I set the plates down on the end table then walk around the bed. She doesn’t stir when I sit down.
“My mom used to tell me when things get rough to hold your head up high and be strong. I was strong for her, at least in my way. Being so young, I didn’t understand it very well. She also used to say happiness will always find you, to hold onto it with both hands, and there will always be obstacles trying to take it away.” She looks at me with a sad smile. “I feel like for the first time since Mom passed, I’m truly happy. I found my happiness. I won’t let it go without a fight. I’m tired of people trying to take it from me.”
I reach over and cover her hand. She immediately covers mine. “I’ve looked for love for a long time now, never findin’ it. Not even close. Then, when I stopped lookin’, when I least expected it, you came barrelin’ into my life. Literally.” A laugh escapes her sweet mouth, her smile broadening. “My life turned upside down and sideways. Thought I had my hands full, like maybe I took on too much. When you stepped off that train, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I’ve never seen anyone so beautiful.” I smile, and her face softens. “Then you spoke. Well, yelled.” She laughs, and I can’t stop my chuckle. “It told me you were head strong, a fighter, self-assured. Qualities I love.”
“Sometimes I don’t feel that way,” she whispers.
“Da
rlin’. No one does all the time. All it means is that you’re human.” I smile, reach over and cup her face. “I couldn’t love you any more than I do right now. You complete me and I’ll do anything to keep you safe.”
She throws herself at me, and I catch her with ease. I feel wetness in my eyes as she buries her face into my chest. Unless you’re at a funeral I’ve always felt like cryin’ makes you less than a man. I guess that’s the way I was raised. But I can’t stop. Never have I had a woman love me so fully, so completely and give me her heart. She’s trusted me with hers, and I trust her with mine. We sit there for a long time, neither of us speakin’. Finally, I push her back, gently. “You need to try to eat. You still have your cold. I don’t want anything to happen to you, not even a stuffy head.” She bursts out with a laugh.
I kiss her forehead and get up, walk over, pick up our plates and then return to my seat. She moves over, patting the seat beside her, and I hand her a plate then get comfortable against the headboard. We sit there and talk about the shop and the plans she has in mind to change it up some. I’m so fucking proud of her.
Once we’ve finished I take our plates down to the kitchen. By the time I get back to the room, she’s fast asleep. I remove my clothes, get under the covers, and snuggle up behind her. We fit together like two pieces of a puzzle perfectly, finally connected.
