Mary. It was getting harder and harder to picture her, but the ache in his chest was easing. His heart didn’t break and he didn’t lash out every time he thought about her now. That was a good thing. He remembered more of the good times and not just the time when she died.
He was finally ready to move forward and marry again. Eleanor. He’d never love her like he did Mary, but he could care for her and share his children with her.
Would that be enough?
He didn’t know but it was all he could give.
CHAPTER 5
Liam visited the barber before picking the children up from their first day at school. He wouldn’t normally pick them up but he needed a haircut and decided to kill two birds with one stone. He was calling on Eleanor this evening and wanted to make a good impression.
When they returned to the cabin, he shaved for the first time since he left Fort Leavenworth, Kansas. The cold wind was raw on his newly shorn head, making him wonder if he shouldn’t have left it alone and kept the hair and beard.
He dressed with care in his black three piece suit, the only one he’d brought with him from Missouri. He put on his white shirt and black cravat and was assaulted by the memories of Mary’s funeral, the last time he’d worn the suit, of bending down and kissing his wife goodbye for the final time. Holding his children while they cried for the mother that would never again answer.
Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and willed the memories from his mind. He must look to the future. Mary would want this he was sure, want him to move forward and go on with his life.
He called the children to him. “David, I want you to look after Hannah while I’m gone. Uncle Zach will be here in case you need anything.”
“Yes, sir,” said David.
Liam almost smiled as his son nearly came to attention when he answered him. It had been almost as hard on David when Liam left the army as it had been on him. At the time, David was enamored with everything military, though now he seemed to be interested in gunfighters. Meeting Wild Bill Hickok and getting his autograph on David’s dime novel, was the most exciting thing that ever happened to the boy. Still, gunfighters or not, coming to attention was a habit and he stood up straight when he addressed his father.
Liam kissed both of his children on the forehead and left for his appointment with Eleanor.
~*~
“Ellie, you better get a move on, Mr. Anderson is going to be here in half an hour,” her father called from the other side of the curtain that formed her room. She looked in the direction of his voice and then back at the mirror she held in her hand. The silver backed mirror was one of a set that included a silver backed brush and comb as well. They were from her aunt on her father’s side and not from her mother, as most people would have thought. She’d wanted nothing that had been her mother’s.
The reflection she saw was of a woman who was pale and scared. She’d never been courted before. She couldn’t imagine what someone as handsome as Liam Anderson wanted with a plain Jane like her. He could have his pick of women, most of whom would be swooning at his feet. Ellie didn’t know how to swoon and wasn’t about to learn now. She was thirty-two years old and well beyond throwing herself at a man, just because he showed some interest.
She put her hair up in her customary bun, but looser than she normally wore it. It didn’t have to last all day, just through dinner. The effect was very nice she thought. No one could accuse her of having slant-eyes tonight.
Oh, she was aware of what people said: plain, skinny, stick up her back. She supposed she brought it on herself. She didn’t take time to primp before going out as most women did. She was who she was. That was all, and she didn’t pretend to be someone she wasn’t
“Ellie,” her father called again from the other side of the curtain wall. “I have to go out. There’s a miner that’s very sick. His family doesn’t think he’ll make it through the night and they need some comfort. I’ll be back when I can.”
“Wait just a moment, Father.”
She got her crutches and walked through the curtain to the kitchen area where her father stood.
“How do I look?” she asked, trying to stand straight and still not put any weight on her right foot.
Her father broke into a smile. “You look lovely, my girl. Just lovely.” He came forward and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Just like your dear departed mama.”
“Thank you, but Mama was beautiful. I’m me…just…me.”
Her father placed his palms on her cheeks and lifted her head until she looked at him. “You are beautiful. You are the exact replica of your mother and you said yourself she was beautiful. Because other people don’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not so.” Then he broke into a bright smile. “Have faith, my girl. God has plans for you. Now I must go.”
“Would you take my coat and put it on the chair by the entrance. It’s difficult for me to handle with these crutches.”
“Of course, my dear.”
Her father left, and according to her pin watch, she still had about twenty minutes to wait. She’d already decided she didn’t want to go out to dinner, but convincing Liam of that could prove challenging. She’d just have to put her good foot down. She smiled and shook her head at her joke.
When she’d set the table she put out three of everything, already sure she and Liam would stay in. Although, now she only needed two. She hobbled to the stove and checked on the elk stew. Tasting it she thought it needed a little salt and added some. “Yes, that’s better,” she said to no one.
A little later she made her way out of the living part of the tent and to the last chair by the flap. She sat and waited, her mind wandering to Liam again. He was so handsome, in a rugged sort of way, a way that she liked very much. She’d literally been knocked off her feet when she saw him for the first time. That meeting, falling into his arms, his hand on her breast, played over and over in her mind.
If she hadn’t been running from Mr. Swearengen’s wrath she would probably never have met Liam. He didn’t attend church and there was no reason for her to venture up the river to the miners camps. As a matter of fact, for a single woman it could be dangerous. That was why Becky Anderson was always armed.
Carrying a gun would do Eleanor no good whatsoever. She had absolutely no idea how to hold one, much less shoot it. And even if she had known how to shoot it, she couldn’t do it, couldn’t take someone’s life. It just wasn’t in her to do so.
The closer it got to the time for Liam to come the harder her heart beat and the faster the butterflies in her stomach flew around. By the time he got there her heart would be pounding so hard she thought he might hear it. She took several deep breaths and calmed herself.
“Miss Smith? Eleanor?” Liam called, his head sticking through the tent flap.
He startled her out of her thoughts.
“I’m here, Liam.”
Now came the hard part, convincing him to stay here without a chaperone. It didn’t matter to her but he was so proper. She was a woman fully grown and it was laughable that she needed a chaperone at her age.
~*~
He arrived at the appointed time and because there was no door on the tent he poked his head through the flap.
“Miss Smith? Eleanor?” he called.
“I’m here, Liam,” she said from a chair in the back row.
She looked rather nice in a pink dress with lace trim. Pink suited her. Much better than the black she wore the day they met. Her coat was folded neatly over the back of the chair in front of her. She’d secured her hair atop her head and left tendrils curling gently about her face. The pink ribbon wrapping her bun was a darker shade than that of her dress and looked lovely in her rich, chestnut hair. If he believed in such things he would have said that in the soft light he thought she looked like an angel.
“Ah, there you are, shall we go?”
“Yes, I suppose.” She stood up.
“What’s the matter? Have you changed your mind?”
&
nbsp; “No. Yes. Oh not about courting but about dinner. I can’t walk on these crutches well enough to go to the hotel.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll car—”
“You most certainly will not carry me.”
Thinking quickly he said, “You’ll ride my horse. I’ll carry you outside to the animal and set you upon its back and I’ll carry the crutches while I lead the horse to the hotel. When we get there, I’ll carry you to the door and then bring you the crutches.”
“I don’t know. Wouldn’t it be easier to just have dinner here. I’ve cooked a meal for father and there is more than enough for us, too.”
“Well, I had planned—”
A flash of anger crossed her mind but she quickly quashed the feeling. “It doesn’t matter what you planned. I’m not comfortable going out. Please.” The last word was a plea, though she refused to beg. She would see just how reasonable Liam could be. This would help her determine what kind of man he was, and if he was the kind of man she should marry at all.
He looked down into her upturned face and saw the anguish this brought her. Even in this state, she was lovely. How could anyone think her plain? Her lips, parted slightly and he was hard pressed not to kiss her. Yes, maybe dinner with her father was a good idea before he forgot himself.
“Certainly. Whatever is easiest for you. I brought you this.” He handed her the box of chocolates.
“Oh, thank you,” she smiled at him and the sun might have been shining in the tent. She was radiant.
She started to open the box but changed her mind and handed it back to Liam.
“I’ll open this in the back. Follow me, please.”
Eleanor maneuvered her way up the aisle to the curtain at the back of the of the tent.
Liam held it open for her and then followed her through into a dining and cooking area. There was a stove set up with a chimney venting out the side of the tent. He didn’t know how but a sheet of metal was attached to the tent and the chimney went out through the piece of metal, protecting the tent from the heat of the stove pipe.
Across the room from the stove were a small rough hewn table and four chairs. There were also two tall, narrow tables, one used as a counter, one used for the storage of food stuffs.
Her father was nowhere to be seen.
“Where is your father?” asked Liam.
“Oh, he was called to the sick bed of a miner. I don’t know when he’ll be back, we should go on and eat without him. If you’ll serve that might be best. I’ve gotten fairly good at moving around in here with one crutch but it’s not the most comfortable.”
“Of course. Why don’t you sit down and I’ll get the food.”
On top of the stove was a pot of savory smelling stew and a crusty loaf of bread.
“I hope you don’t mind elk stew. We get by on whatever the worshipers provide us. This week it was elk and some lovely turnips, carrots and potatoes. Perfect for a stew. Father picked up some fresh bread from Mrs. Fredrichsen. She bakes bread and sells it out of her house.”
“I know,” replied Liam. “Miss Sutter sent us there when we first arrived. We’ve been going there ever since. Whenever one of us is in Deadwood, we pick up a couple of loaves, since none of us can bake to save our souls.”
He got the cast iron pot of stew and set it in the middle of the table. Then he got the bread from the warming shelf on the back of the stove. Eleanor had already put out plates and spoons. She’d known he would stay. He smiled at her certainty of him.
He set the bread on the table next to the butter. “Awfully sure of me weren’t you?”
“Not in the least. I was fairly certain that I would be dining here and hopeful you’d be joining us. I didn’t know, as you can tell from the place settings, that father wouldn’t be with us.”
Liam chuckled and sat at the table across from her. “You are a surprise, Eleanor, a delightful surprise.”
“Please call me Ellie. Eleanor is so formal and cold sounding. Everyone calls me Ellie, including your children.”
“I prefer Eleanor. It’s much more dignified. Tell me about yourself.” He took his spoon and dug into the stew.
“Yes, well. Oh, Liam, we must pray first.”
He didn’t stop eating, but said, “You can pray if you like. I don’t.”
She looked a little troubled by his response but closed her eyes for a short time and then opened them, picked up her spoon and started eating.
“So, tell me about yourself,” he repeated.
Eleanor set down her spoon, daintily wiped her mouth with her napkin and gazed over the table at him. “There really isn’t much to tell. My mother died when I was ten along with my brother who she was trying to birth. Father gave up his church then and decided we’d travel and see the country while preaching to the faithful. We’ve been traveling ever since. What about you? I know you have two beautiful children and that you’re a widower. What else should I know about Liam Anderson?”
Liam cleared his throat. “Uh, well, sounds like you know all about me.”
“No, I don’t. Who is Liam? He’s more than just a father and brother.”
“I was in the army for seventeen years, ending my service as a colonel. I gave up the army when Mary died so I wouldn’t be uprooting the children anymore.”
“And yet, you moved them here. Why?”
Liam was tempted to tell her it was none of her business, but it was. She had a right to know who she was marrying.
“Memories. There were too many memories of Mary. If we’d stayed, I’d have gone insane. The children are all that kept me from taking my own life. They are all I live for.”
He was afraid to look at her. Afraid of what he might see in her eyes but when he looked up there was no pity. Just understanding.
“I know what you’re talking about. I watched Father go through the same thing. He still keeps us moving because of those memories. We just keep moving farther and farther west.” She put her napkin on the table and left her hand on top of it.
“Wouldn’t you like to stop moving?” he asked. “Would you consider marrying me and staying here in Deadwood?” He placed his hand on top of hers ever so gently, so as not to scare her.
“I don’t know. Deadwood isn’t exactly the place I would have chosen to spend the rest of my life.”
“But it’s changing. The government is getting ready to annex it, there will be law and order. Miners are still coming in by the droves and once word gets out about the strike that my brothers and I made, it will be even worse.”
“And you want me to stay for that? To see it get worse.”
Liam smiled. “Yes, I do, because it will get better. I want you to stay and be a mother to my children. To continue to teach the other children and give them the opportunity to get ahead in this world.”
“I suppose you’d think I was crazy if I said, no.”
Liam turned her hand over and began making circles with his thumb on the inside of her wrist. He felt her shiver and couldn’t help but smile. She was so responsive. She’d be passionate in bed, he was sure of it.
“Yes, I probably would. I’m offering you the world, if you’ll accept it. When the children are older, we can travel; see the country, the world. We’ll learn as much as they will about other people and cultures. Or if you prefer, we can stay right here near hearth and home.”
“What about love, Liam?”
“What about it? You and I are both of an age where we realize that the best marriages are not based on love but mutual respect and admiration.”
She looked down at their hands, then up at him and pulled her hand away, setting it in her lap. He was sure he’d made a terrible blunder.
Gazing at him there was a look in her eye he couldn’t fathom. He’d have called it determination, even so her next words surprised him.
“Very well, Liam. I accept your proposal. You’re right about me; I’m tired of traveling for the time being. I’d like to have a home I can call my own. One with real walls and a
floor and windows.”
“I have that. My brothers built a cabin while I was gone. It will have to do until I can build you a proper house. You’ll have to tell me what you want. You can design it however you want. You must have a dream home in mind. Well, now you can build it.”
She cocked an eyebrow. “Are you trying to bribe me, Mr. Anderson?”
He grinned. “Is it working?”
Eleanor burst in to laughter. Deep, robust laughter, not the tittering giggles so many of the women of the day employed. “Yes, I think it might be, but I still want to discuss the situation with my father before I give you a final answer. This is a big decision, not to be taken lightly.”
“Of course,” he conceded. “Take all the time you need. I’ve told your father I’d like a wedding the first part of July.”
“July?! That’s impossible. I couldn’t possibly be ready by then. I have to make a dress and find someone to stand up with me. And there’s—”
“Shh,” he placed two fingers lightly against her lips. “What’s wrong with the dress you’re wearing? You look quite lovely tonight.”
She blushed and looked at her lap. “You don’t have to say things like that. I know what people say about me.”
“What do people say?” He had no idea, other than Zach, but Liam’s taste in women was quite different than Zach’s.
She blushed again and shook her head.
“Eleanor, please look at me.”
She raised her head and met his eyes.
“I will never lie to you. When I tell you that you’re lovely, you can rest assured you are.”
How could anyone with half a brain not see her for what she was? Beautiful. Not in the conventional sense, though. Her beauty was subtle, quiet. But he saw it, there underneath the starchy façade she put up for the world to see. Liam saw beneath, to the real woman.
And he liked what he saw.
CHAPTER 6
The evening sped by. It seemed like Liam had just arrived when it was time for him to leave. He rose from the table where they’d sat and talked through dinner and over coffee.
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