by Anna Larner
Eve was grateful that the journey from the library to Carluccio’s was mercifully short. She hurried with Moira at her side as they silently made their way through the puddled streets to the shelter of the restaurant.
With a chic, informal dining style, Carluccio’s was the place to be seen. On reflection, Eve wondered whether it was perhaps not the most private of places to have chosen to eat.
“Would you like to order some drinks to start with, ladies?” A waiter hovered expectantly by their table, his notepad flipped open in his palm.
“Bottle of white?” Eve asked, catching Moira’s eye.
Moira nodded. She had been looking nervously around the restaurant.
Okay, Eve say something.
“It’s good to see you.” Moira spoke softly, as if mindful of the public around them.
“Yes, it’s good to see you too,” Eve said quickly. “And here too, that’s quite a coincidence.”
Moira silently stared at her menu in reply.
Eve couldn’t help but notice how tired Moira looked. “Moira?”
Moira looked up.
Eve took a deep breath. “I hoped, I mean, why didn’t you ring me? Return my call?” Eve watched puzzlement wash over Moira’s face.
“You rang for me?”
“Yes, I left a message for you—at the centre. You didn’t get it?”
“No.” Moira’s expression turned to a frown as she looked out the window towards the street, which led to the library, which led to Roxanne and Alice.
“Moira?”
“Do you want to try the wine, madam?” The waiter reappeared at their table, tipping the bottle towards Moira.
“No, just leave it, that’s fine, thank you.” Moira lifted the cold wine bottle from its cooler, melting her fingerprints onto the surface, and poured two glasses.
Eve wasn’t sure whether a toast was appropriate, and before she had chance to think of one, Moira had taken a large glug of her drink. She looked serious.
“You okay?” Eve moved her hand across the table to rest beside Moira’s. She brushed the edge of Moira’s hand with her little finger.
Moira moved it away, looking around as if to check to see if anyone had noticed. She placed her hands in her lap and said quietly, “When you left, I…I just felt so confused.”
The waiter reappeared, and before he could speak, Eve said, “We’re just waiting for another couple before we order. Thank you.”
Moira watched the waiter briskly walk away to a neighbouring table.
Speaking barely above a whisper, Moira continued, “I didn’t know what to do. Nothing felt the same after you left.” Moira swallowed hard. “I couldn’t seem to regain any order. I wanted to see you again so badly.”
“Me too,” Eve said in earnest. “I thought I was going mad, missing you so much.”
Moira took another large gulp of wine. “I’ve found it difficult to concentrate, to work, to rest. I knew I had no choice but to find a way of seeing you again.”
Moira’s passionate words filled Eve’s heart with joy, soothing the heartache of those lonely nights and distracted days without her. It was all Eve could do not to embrace Moira. I want to hold you so much.
“And then”—Moira cleared her throat—“Alice needed my help with the centre’s outreach tour and this gave me an idea. You’d told me where you worked, so adding your library, just an extra date at the end of the tour, was achievable and it seemed to make sense. If you’d chosen not to attend the talk…well then, I knew where I stood.” Moira held tightly onto the stem of her glass with both hands.
“Right.” Eve frowned. “I don’t really understand though. If that’s how you felt, then why didn’t you just ring me? You knew I wanted you to.” Emotion caught at Eve’s throat. She watched Moira look down again at her menu. “It really hurt not hearing from you.”
With a wounded tone, Moira said, “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Eve. I’m sorry. Using the phone…just sometimes, sometimes there’s too much to say, isn’t there? And the phone isn’t always best.”
“I suppose so.” Eve couldn’t immediately think of a conversation you couldn’t have over the phone—except of course, only the really alarming ones.
Bringing a rush of cold, damp air with her, Roxanne clambered into the seat next to Eve, immediately lifting the wine from the cooler and filling her glass to the brim. She then proceeded to drain the glass dry and promptly refilled it.
“I think we’ll need a second soon, yes?” Roxanne frantically waved the wine bottle in the air to attract a waiter.
Moira’s attention turned to Alice. Alice’s cheeks flushed and glistened under the restaurant lights. Moira stared at her, just stared, her eyes glazed over in thought.
Alice, in turn, simply couldn’t take her eyes off Roxanne; it was as if she had never seen a Roxanne species before.
“Everything okay, Rox?” Eve asked, resting her hand on Roxanne’s damp shoulder.
Roxanne stared at Moira. “Absolutely, why wouldn’t it be?”
Moira looked down at her menu.
“So, what are we eating? I can recommend the ravioli, Alice,” Eve said, mustering friendliness. “Honestly, the sage butter’s to die for.”
Eve’s polite attempt at enthusiasm was met with a deadpan, “No. I think I’ll have a salad.”
“I’ll have the ravioli.” Moira looked at Eve and smiled, causing Eve to melt.
“So you’ve had a chance to talk?” Roxanne looked directly at Moira again. “Everything addressed that needed to be?”
Moira didn’t say anything. She just held Roxanne’s questioning glare.
“Well, we haven’t exactly been here long, Rox,” Eve said, frowning at Roxanne.
“What do you need to talk about?” Alice looked at Moira.
Eve couldn’t decide how much Alice knew about herself and Moira or how much Moira wanted her to know. “Oh, I had some questions about the Trust and, you know, your talk,” Eve said, managing a smile.
Alice quickly replied, “I can answer any questions you have, Eve. There’s no need for you to bother Moira.”
“Thanks, Alice, that’s great to know.” Eve looked across to Moira who was looking down.
“Let’s eat, yeah?” Roxanne waved her arm in the air.
A charming Irish waitress with fiery red curls set off against her black shirt smiled broadly and said, “Girls’ night out, is it?” Her question was answered with silence. “Right, so what are we eating, ladies?”
In one breath Roxanne ordered, “One side salad, two ravioli, one large pepperoni pizza with extra salami—and we appear to have run out of wine, thank you.”
“You enjoy your food now, won’t you?” the waitress said, her warm smile lingering on her lips.
“To be sure.” Roxanne winked at the waitress, who gathered the menus and without saying anything hurried off.
Eve looked wide-eyed at Roxanne, who mouthed an exaggerated What?
Eve couldn’t have been more thankful for her best mate, as Roxanne proceeded to fill the awkward silences with stories of medical mayhem and drunken epiphanies. Roxanne even managed to make Alice laugh with her comment to Moira that she admired her bravery as not everyone could carry off corduroy.
With the meal concluded, Moira watched as Roxanne lay as flat as she could in her chair, having undone the top button of her trousers.
“Oh my God, I may have eaten that a bit quick,” Roxanne said with a wince.
“Somewhere in the world I feel sure you have broken a record, Rox.” Eve giggled and shook her head.
“I’m sensing that too.” Roxanne leant over, whispering to Eve, “A good fart will do the trick.”
Eve, who had just filled her mouth with wine, snorted half of it back into her glass and half down her top.
“Oh shit, I’ll just go to the loo. I won’t be long.” Eve spoke in Moira’s direction.
Moira nodded and watched Eve weave her way to the toilets at the far side of the restaurant.
> “Let’s go back to the hotel, shall we?” Alice said, reaching behind her to retrieve her coat and bag. She dug around in her bag for her lipstick. “I’m just going to the loo and then we’ll go when I get back, yes?”
“Sure.” Moira looked at Alice. “Sure.”
Roxanne slid across into Eve’s seat opposite Moira, bringing the wine bottle with her.
“You know don’t you?” Moira said, taking a sip of her wine and looking directly at Roxanne.
Roxanne took a slug of wine, pouring more wine into Moira’s glass, before replying. “That you slept with my best friend? Yes.”
Moira placed her hands in her lap to stop them from shaking. She glanced in the direction of the toilets. “I really like her,” she said, working hard to steady her voice.
Roxanne shrugged. “She really likes you.”
“I want you to know that I have no intention of hurting her.”
“And yet…” Roxanne paused. “You clearly have no intention of telling her you’re married, do you?”
“Alice told you?”
Roxanne said nothing, her face steely serious.
Moira folded her arms defensively. “You know nothing of my life, Roxanne. Please don’t think that you do.” Moira’s voice bristled with discomfort at Roxanne’s interference.
Roxanne nodded. “You’re right. I have no clue about your life and no idea what you’re playing at. All I care about is Eve.” Roxanne pointed at Moira. “You need to tell her before any of this goes any further.”
“That’s why I’m here. I’ve come here to tell her, face to face. I couldn’t tell her on the phone. And I wanted to see her again, so much.” Moira watched Roxanne raise her eyebrows. “I tried to tell her when we first met, several times, but each time I just couldn’t.”
Roxanne leant forward. “So you lied to get laid.”
“No.” Moira shook her head. “It wasn’t like that.”
“Of course it wasn’t.”
Moira knew that to protest further was pointless and that the cold facts had beaten back the truth. “I’ll tell Eve tonight,” Moira said flatly as she watched Alice reappear through the dining room.
“You do that. And Moira”—Roxanne slid back across to her chair—“if you don’t tell her, I will.”
Reaching the table without sitting, Alice pulled on her coat. “Coming?”
“You go on ahead. I just need to speak to Eve,” Moira said, standing up from her chair.
“I’ll walk you back to the hotel, Alice.” Roxanne pulled on her coat.
Alice gasped. “No. I mean, you’re not coming with me? Moira?”
“You’ll be fine with Roxanne,” Moira said, looking at Roxanne, who nodded. “I just have some things to talk to Eve about—I won’t be long.”
Alice asked desperately, “What things?”
Moira replied firmly, “Please, Alice, I won’t be long.” Moira knew the distress this would cause Alice. But at that moment all she could think of was Eve.
“Oh for God’s sake.” Alice went puce, her arms stiff at her side, her hands clenched in fists, her knuckles turning white.
Eve arrived back to the table, looking confused. “You’re all leaving?” Eve’s eyes flickered over the dispersing group.
“No, I thought we could have a coffee. Just you and me.” Moira placed her hand lightly on Eve’s arm.
Eve smiled and blushed. “Oh. I’d like that.” Eve looked at Roxanne. “Although, is everything okay?”
Roxanne shrugged. “You need to talk to Moira, mate. I’ll catch you later.”
Moira sat back in her seat opposite Eve, folded her arms, and took a deep breath.
“So, shall I order us a coffee?” Eve asked, straining her neck to look for their waitress. “Moira?”
A tear rolled down Moira’s cheek in reply. Moira had spent the entire evening willing herself not to cry. She had spent the last six weeks, in fact, willing herself not to cry.
“What is it? Moira?”
“I’m sorry.” Moira wiped at her cheeks.
Eve pushed her chair out from under her. “Come on,” she said, “let’s go.” Eve caught the eye of their waitress and signalled for the bill.
“Where are we going?”
Eve looked into Moira’s questioning eyes, “My place.”
Chapter Seventeen
“This is me,” Eve said. “Those are my windows, first floor, third along. It’s very different from your croft.”
Moira followed Eve’s gaze, watching as the street light illuminated her face and neck. “Yes,” she said, looking up at the tall façade of red brick that loomed over them, so symbolic of urban industry and far removed from the gentle pastoral slopes of Newland.
Moira took a deep breath as Eve opened the shared front door.
Standing side by side in the lift, Eve held out her hand which Moira took. As she did so, she looked briefly at Eve, smiled, and then looked down. Moira released Eve’s hand as the lift doors slid open.
“It’s bijou maybe, but I like it,” Eve said with a shrug, switching on table lamps in the sitting area. “I guess I worship at the altar of Ikea. It’s a Swedish furniture store, so—”
“Yes, I know.” Moira smiled at Eve. “I’ve been to the one in Glasgow. I like the furniture, it’s bright, cheerful.”
“Cool.” Eve smiled sheepishly. “Right. So, erm, coffee?”
Moira looked towards the collection of alcoholic drinks nestled on the corner of Eve’s kitchen worktop.
“Whisky?” Eve suggested, blushing.
“Yes,” Moira nodded, lifting the bottle, recognizing the brand she drank. It had been the drink that had warmed them in Moira’s croft, the drink they’d tasted on their lips when they kissed, and the drink that flooded Moira’s feelings with the memories of their magical night together.
Eve confessed with a soppy smile, “It reminds me of you.”
Moira’s heart ached. She was certain that come tomorrow morning Eve would be doing everything she could to forget her.
“Right.” Moira cleared her throat, and turned away to ask, “You’ve travelled a lot?”
“Sorry? No, not really,” Eve said, her expression confused at Moira’s question.
Moira gestured towards Eve’s fridge door and the many postcards that covered its surface.
“Oh no—they’re from Rox,” Eve said, shaking her head. “She’s always heading off somewhere.”
Moira felt her chest tighten at the mention of Roxanne.
Eve straightened one of the cards. “She gets bored easily.” Eve shrugged.
Moira held a postcard in her hand studying its picture. She turned the card over. The handwritten scrawl read, Missing you loads, Evie Eds. My plane gets in at two. A drawing of a pair of boobs and a kiss replaced Roxanne’s name.
“Oh yeah, that’s Bolivia,” Eve said with a giggle. “When I met her at the airport she was wearing a bowler hat and everything.”
“You didn’t want to go with her, travelling?” Moira did her best to strike a disinterested, nonchalant tone.
“Nah, it’s Rox’s thing. And, in any case, I’m a crap traveller. Really, if I’m not asleep, I’m feeling sick. And I’ve got work. Oh, and then she decided to go to Nepal for some reason—”
Moira turned away.
Eve shut up.
Whilst Eve fixed their drinks, Moira wandered around the living space, taking in each detail that spoke of Eve. Delicate flowered wallpaper enveloped the sitting room area. A slightly worn brown leather sofa, crammed with embroidered cushions, complemented a small purple velvet armchair that was tucked in the corner of the room under a curved standard lamp. A glass vase of cut flowers sat on the windowsill, sparkling in the glow from the street light. The space had an understated beauty to it, just like its occupant.
Moira glanced across at Eve. Never had a moment in time felt so precious.
Eve looked back at Moira, and they shared a self-conscious, tender smile.
Positioned separate
ly on a side table, the photograph of Foxglove Croft and Loch View caught Moira’s eye. She picked the photo up and carefully looked at it. “Everything’s so crazy. How did everything become so, so complicated?” Moira rubbed her forehead and sat heavily on the sofa. She looked at Eve standing in front of her, her body tantalizingly familiar.
“Here.” Eve handed Moira her whisky. She watched as Moira drained her glass dry. With her voice choked with feeling, Eve said, “It doesn’t seem complicated to me.” Eve reached forward and caressed the side of Moira’s head, her fingers massaging through the curls. “I missed you, you missed me. We both wanted to see each other again.”
“Eve, I—”
“I’m so glad you’re here, Moira.”
Moira could feel the warmth of the palms of Eve’s hands resting briefly against her cheeks as Eve kissed her. It was a kiss so gentle, so tender. It demanded nothing and promised everything.
Please God. Moira’s body ached for Eve’s touch.
Without warning, Moira stood from the sofa. “I thought we could have that coffee—before I go back to the hotel.” Moira struggled to find the breath for her words as her heart thumped in her chest.
“What?” Eve blinked her question at Moira, her cheeks flushed with desire.
Moira walked over to Eve’s kitchen and lifted the kettle. She put the kettle back down and stared at it.
“You okay?” Eve asked, joining Moira at her side.
Moira nodded. “It’s just, I need to get back to the hotel soon.” She looked at her watch. “And, well, we haven’t really had a chance to talk.”
“You could text Alice, maybe,” Eve suggested with a shrug. “Tell her you’ll see her in the morning.”
Moira could see Eve searching her face as if trying to gauge what Moira was thinking.
“In any case, we don’t just have tonight to talk, to be together, do we? Moira?”
Moira could feel the blood pressing at the walls of her heart. She stared at the floor. She could hear Roxanne saying, If you don’t tell her, I will.
“I’ll text Alice and say that I’m staying a bit longer.” Moira looked up at Eve. “Not to wait up for me. She’s probably gone to bed already anyway.”
Eve said quickly, “Yes. That would be great.” Eve’s eyes pleaded with Moira. Please don’t go.
