by Kristen Rose
He was sitting at a small white table in the centre of the room facing the door. He was wearing dark jeans, a grey cotton top and a brown leather jacket; his blonde hair styled perfectly. When he heard me enter he looked up, a smile on his face.
‘Jenny!’ He said. He got up out of his chair and walked over to me, opening his arms wide for me to embrace him. I simply stood still, staring into his face as though he were an animal at the zoo.
‘You remember me, don’t you? I’m Marc? There’s nothing wrong with your memory, is there?’ He added, lowering his arms.
‘What the hell are you doing here?’ I spat.
He frowned. ‘Well, I’m here to see you. I missed you, you know.’
‘Don’t feed me that bullshit, what are you doing here? I’m not wasting my time talking to you for absolutely no reason, dip shit.’ I folded my arms.
‘What? Jenny, why are you being so rude?’ He scoffed. ‘You’re the nicest person I know!’
‘You know me? Hold on ... oh, you’re that stupid ex I dumped?’
He shifted back, confused. ‘Who did you think I was?’
‘Oh, just someone important.’ I brushed a hair out of my eye. ‘So, why are you here?’ I asked again. ‘I have no need to see you nor do I want to see you. I can’t believe I came all the way down here just for you.’ I headed for the door.
‘Wait,’ he pleaded, ‘can’t you just be a little more lenient, I came all this way after all. Sit down, chat; humour me at least won’t you.’ He said kindly, indicating the table behind him.
‘Why?’ I squinted.
‘Because ... I have something important to say to you and I will come here every day for the rest of my life until you agree to sit down and hear it.’ He said importantly.
‘Oh god.’ I put a hand to my face. ‘Geese, first Julian and now you. This is not my day.’
‘Julian?’ He raised one eye brow at me.
‘Just a guy who happens to be madly in love with me.’ I shrugged. ‘You know, spends all his time bidding for my attention. We went out on a date the other night. I didn’t want to but, well, he has a mansion on Sydney Harbour and he said I could stay there whenever I wanted if I went out with him for dinner. Naturally I complied.’
‘Oh.’ Marc looked down. ‘How exactly can you go on a date in here?’ He looked back up at me.
‘What do you mean by that!’ I shot angrily.
‘Nothing ... I’m very happy for you.’ He smiled. ‘Please, can’t you just stay for a little while? I promise it will be worth it.’ A pleading look in his eyes.
‘Fine, but I’m not staying for long.’ He smiled again. I followed him over to the table and sat down opposite him in one of the white wooden chairs.
‘I’ve got something for you.’ He said to me.
‘Oh ... great.’ I un-enthused.
He opened up his jacket and slipped his hand into the inside pocket, pulling out an old photograph.
‘Here.’ He passed it to me. I collected it and looked down. It was a picture of the two of us sitting in front of an elephant enclosure at the zoo, smiling.
‘Do you remember that day?’ He placed his arms gently on the table.
‘No.’ I said paying little attention to the photograph. Instead, I allowed my eyes to wander around the room. There was a surveillance camera in the far left corner.
‘That was the happiest day of my life.’ He said to me. ‘The day I proposed ...’ I let out a moan of disgust and tossed the picture on the floor. He sat silent staring at it. ‘Do you know what the saddest day of my life was?’ He looked up at me, vacant.
‘Do I look like I care?’ I folded my arms.
‘It was the day you left.’ He said. ‘I never really understood why you left.’
‘Because I don’t like you!’ I said simply, turning sideways in my chair and lounging into it.
‘You know, I thought you were joking, when you said you were through. I thought you would come back in a week all happy again – but ... you didn’t.’ He looked down. ‘You never even answered my calls. I went looking for you but it seemed as though you just disappeared ... But, now I know the truth. You left me because of your illness. Because you were scared of what you were becoming.’ He reached his hand towards me, I jerked back.
‘Blah blah blah,’ I motioned animatedly with my hands. ‘Who frickin’ cares? Look, what I want is for you to tell me how you found me. Then, I want you to tell me why you are here.’
‘I’m just trying to be supportive. I want to help you Jenny.’
‘Like I don’t get enough help during therapy. Cut the crap and get on with it.’ I stared at him.
‘Alright. I heard you were here from your parents.’
‘What! Bastards – I can’t believe they told!’ I said, more to myself than to him.
‘Don’t be angry with them, they mentioned it accidentally.’
‘Accidentally? Sure they did.’ I tilted my head. ‘Why were you talking to my parents anyway?’
‘Oh, well, I just ran into them in town. They asked me to lunch. When they told me you were here I couldn’t believe it.’ He shook his head. ‘Naturally I wanted to come and see you to see if it was true.
‘I want to help you Jenny,’ he said again, ‘if you’ll let me.’ He sat back. ‘I’ve organised the best medical team back in Sydney. They assure me they can help restore you to your old self.’
‘My old self? I don’t know what you’re talking about. My current self is just fine thank you very much.’ I threw my feet onto the table. ‘Besides, you don’t have any authority in the matter. In fact I can’t believe you’re here right now saying this. It’s been years since we were acquainted.’ I stretched my arms behind my head. ‘I know I’m a fantastic person and everyone loves me, but I could care less about you and your plans for my recovery. Truth is there’s absolutely nothing wrong with me, I just stay here for my parent’s sake, but as soon as they drop dead I’ll be gone.’ I finished, dramatically.
‘I know it’s been a long time, but the only reason I never came to see you sooner is because I didn’t know you were here. You just vanished! I couldn’t find you anywhere. I gave up in the end.’ He said slowly. ‘But now I’ve found you, I’m not going to let you get away.’ He said slowly, a hint of cheek.
I frowned at him, pretending to gag.
‘I still love you.’ He blurted out. ‘Hell, I’ve been miserable ever since the day you left. I want you to come back.’ He tried to reach out and grab my hand again but I pulled away, lifting my feet off the table and returning them to the ground.
‘I don’t want you!’
‘You’re only saying that because of the illness. As soon as you’re better you’ll feel differently.’
‘Illness? I told you there is nothing wrong with me. There is no way I’m going to let your psycho doctors fiddle with my brain just so you can be happy. Move on – weirdo.’ I looked at him, disgusted.
‘So, that’s a no then?’ His eyes widened.
‘No ... It’s an absolutely not, over my dead carcass, no.’
‘I see.’ He stared down into his lap. I looked at him in silence wondering what he was going to say next.
‘Jenny, I know you saw me.’ I looked back up, there was the faintest of smirks on his face.
‘What are you talking about?’ I said innocently, to my purple fingernails.
‘That night, the night you started to act all funny. I heard someone running up the stairs. And you were at the restaurant. You must have seen ... everything. I want to explain.’ There was a strange look in his eyes.
‘I really don’t know what you are talking about.’ I looked up at a small white clock on the wall, ticking loudly. ‘Your time is up.’ I shifted forwards, intending to get up.
‘The police are after me – and you. If they come here, don’t tell them anything. I can’t go to gaol.’ He said, shaking his head.
I shifted back into my chair. ‘I wish you would go to gaol. That way you wouldn’t be here bothe
ring me.’
‘You don’t mean that.’ He shook his head faster.
‘Yes, I do.’
‘You wouldn’t say anything to them,’ he said, threateningly, ‘if you like your life so much.’ His words slow and serious. ‘You think you’ve got it good in here? You think that no one will get to you? I don’t know if you’re sick or not Jenny – you are different, I’ll say that, but you can act and actors make great liars.’ He glared.
I sat in silence.
‘I’ve been watching you Jenny, quite closely. I know everything you’ve been doing in here.’ He smiled.
I remained silent, staring off at the far wall, my heart racing.
‘Are you listening to me Jenny?’ He angered. ‘Gaol, a lifetime sentence!’ He shifted closer, breathing heavily. ‘You know you will go as well if you tell the police what you saw.’ He paused. ‘You’ve been hiding valuable information for a long time. And what if I were to tell them that you were in on it?’ He leaned in, smiling. ‘Don’t think they’ll overlook that.’
He stopped, waiting for me to say something. ‘I’m assuming by your silence that you’re not going to say anything?’ He questioned. ‘Because if you do – you will wish you hadn’t.’ He threatened again.
‘Didn’t you just say you love me?’ I looked up at him, diverting his thoughts.
‘Don’t make this harder for me Jenny.’ He frowned.
‘Harder for you? I’m the one who’s going to go back in there worrying about someone coming into my room in the middle of the night and dragging a knife down the front of my body!’ I yelled, pressing a finger to my chest. He stared at me blankly. ‘Anyway,’ I continued. ‘I don’t associate with the police; I wouldn’t waste my breath on any of them.’
There was a short silence. ‘Thank you Jenny.’ He said. I ignored his gaze. ‘And ... once after all of this blows over, maybe I’ll pay you another visit and we can sort everything out.’ He smiled lightly.
‘No. The past is the past. Besides,’ I sat up. ‘I’m pretty sure I can do better. I mean a woman with my intellect and beauty can snatch any guy she wants. I can’t believe I almost settled for you.’ I eyed him up and down.
‘You don’t mean that.’ He shook his head.
‘Whatever makes you sleep.’ I laughed to myself.
‘I’m still going to be keeping a close eye on you, regardless of your decision.’ He looked straight at me.
‘Yeah, well, I can tell you now it’s going to be waste of time.’
‘We’ll see.’ He paused. ‘I guess there is nothing else to say. I would like to stay longer and chat with you but I can sense you don’t want to.’ He said shortly.
‘Why would I want to chat with you?’ I chuckled.
‘My point exactly.’ He sighed. ‘Maybe you can oblige me with a hug before I go?’ He sounded hopeful.
‘No way! I don’t want your stench all over me.’ I folded my arms and leaned back, cringing.
‘Perhaps a kiss then.’ He smiled cheekily.
‘Oh god, that’s even worse.’ I gagged.
‘Maybe next time.’ He mused. ‘Goodbye Jenny.’ He smiled.
‘Whatever.’
He got up out of his chair and walked casually towards the door. When he was a few metres away from it he stopped and turned around again.
‘I just wanted to tell you that that night, the guy you saw wasn’t me Jenny. I mean, he’s not the man I am now. Back then, I didn’t have any remorse. I couldn’t care less about who I was hurting. I’m different now. I only work at the car dealership and I’m a sad and sorry homebody. I’m the guy you fell in love with, and maybe, deep down, still love.’ He paused. ‘Please, if there’s any part of the real Jenny in there, just ask her to consider these facts. I’m not the bad man you think I am.’ He pleaded.
I did my best to ignore his eye contact and twiddled with a piece of my hair. After a few seconds of staring at me he turned back the other way and continued to the door. He stopped abruptly again before exiting and walked back towards the table. I followed his feet with my eyes. He picked the photo of the two of us at the zoo up off of the ground.
‘You might not want this, but I do.’ He said putting the photo back into his pocket. ‘By the way, you look ... beautiful.’ He sighed and turned once again, walking back to the door. This time he let himself out.
I didn’t get up straight away. I remained seated on the hard white chair, staring into the table.
On the other side of the door, Verdad is grinning as though he just stole Christmas.
#15 Watching
