I brought my eyebrows together. “It was a gift from my mother. I bring it with me when I need to feel her presence more than ever. You know the feeling, right?”
Jay ignored my remark. I peered at the menu behind the counter.
When I put money in the tip jar, Jay said to me, “Oh, you are so nice.”
“Thanks! But I didn’t do anything special, Jay.” I sat back in my chair.
“There we go again. I thought when we met in person you’d understand that this is who I am. I see the good in people. I like to commend others on what they do.” He sank into a small couch perpendicular to my seat.
I noticed his ears were clogged with wax and his neck had layers of Play-Doh-like dirt. I couldn’t help but silently judge him.
The server brought out our orders. I thanked him and swirled my chai. Jay gave me a kiss on the forehead. It was so sudden and undelightful. This was my cue to go to the bathroom. I noticed Jay clean the dry, crusty deposits in the corners of his eyes and wipe his hands on his jeans. He then took out his phone.
There was nobody there in the women’s bathroom. The red door and the blue tiles had graffiti on them. I wiped my forehead—the exact spot where Jay had kissed me. I checked Jay’s social media profile as I sat on the toilet. He had posted a picture of the cheesecake and espresso. And the caption read, “Fine foods are my forte.” I thought it was interesting that he didn’t tag me in any posts or pictures or add any location. There was a comment from two women inquiring whether he had baked the cheesecake and made the espresso himself.
“True genius never speaks of his work :),” Jay replied to their comment.
I called Naina. “I wonder if there are others too aside from Amanda and Tanya whom Jay has betrayed.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Naina sighed loudly. “But what makes you think that?”
“Just noticed some comments on his post—and so quickly. It’s like he has a fan club.”
“Ahana, you are being careless; Jay could spike your chai while you are in the bathroom. Leave already!”
“No, he won’t. He needs something from me, Naina. I’m no good to him passed out.”
I looked at my reflection in the bathroom mirror as I scrubbed my hands with soap. I told myself I had no choice but to go through this afternoon if I wanted to know the truth. I wiped off my annoyance in a sheet of paper towel and wore a smile as I walked out almost convinced that Jay would ask about my marriage or Dev or something intimate.
I asked Jay about his marriage and wife. He didn’t say much aside from “New York City is filled with grime. It got to us.” He didn’t bring up my personal life.
“Do you think you guys will get back together?” I took a sip of my chai.
With his forehead creased into a question mark, Jay took a big bite of the cheesecake. “You ask a lot of questions. Hahahaha.” He ate with his mouth open.
Something about his lack of commitment to words made me feel as if the walls were closing in.
“Would you mind looking at my business plan?” he asked abruptly out of nowhere. “I could use that MBA brain of yours.” He sat with a slouch and adjusted his cap.
I sat up in a shock. I was prepared for Jay to give me surprising information about me. That’s what he had hinted at several times in our chat. But how did he even know I had an MBA in finance? When I’d met him online, I was no longer working in finance and never spoke of anything about my past. Was it Internet stalking or was someone else, like Dev, giving him tips? Sweat began to trickle down my lower back. I wiped my mouth with a napkin.
“Always so elegant. Even when you wipe your mouth. So British.”
I stayed silent.
“What’s the business plan for, Jay?” I maintained a professional demeanor.
Jay opened his knapsack and pulled out a folder. He handed over the fat bundle to me. “I want to open a cafe in New York. A place where we sell flowers. Home-baked goods. Some of my knitted designs.”
“No books or art or music or beverage?” I flipped through the pages.
“No; that’s why it would be unique. It’ll be about bringing my skills in one space.”
A part of me wanted to say, “Go for it,” and watch the asshole fail. But a bigger part of me knew I had to fake a little and gain more of Jay’s trust to find his ulterior motive.
“How will you make money if there is no beverage?” I flipped through his plan. “How will you get people to stick around in the cafe?”
“I’d love to travel to India one day. Wouldn’t it be amazing if I could take my business there?” Jay spoke out of nowhere, once again, as he stuffed his face with cheesecake.
“There might be a lot of legalities you’ll have to sift through, Jay. You are a foreign national. But….”
“You mentioned that your aunt works for the finance ministry in Delhi.” Nope, I never told him that. “Do you think she could…you know? The Indian economy is doing so well. I’m sick of fucking living in America.”
“Do what?” I took a big gasp of air.
“Don’t make me spell everything out, Ahana. I’m a broken man.” Jay made a sad face and took his glasses off. He rested his head on the couch.
Bloody drama queen. I tried to swallow the rising bile in my mouth. He wanted my aunt, Chutney, in New Delhi to help him set up the business when I hadn’t mentioned Chutney’s high profile job. The hair at the back of my neck stood up.
“I have very little pride, Ahana.” He looked disappointed.
“I can ask her when I go back. But no promises. She doesn’t believe in doing favors for random people, Jay.”
“If I’m your best friend, I’m no longer a random man.” He gripped the edges of the table and let out a big smile.
I took a sip of my water.
Jay stood up with his right hand on his hip and his left hand stretched out in my direction as if he were going to kiss my hand.
I withdrew my body.
“Shhh. Don’t get scared. This is sheer testosterone in the Big Apple, pointing the way to a prosperous future for both of us.” Jay went from disappointed to dramatic inside of a minute.
“You are so theatrical.” I folded my arms around my chest.
“My mom was dramatic. For her sixtieth birthday, I got her a tiara and she asked if it would be uncomfortable to shower in it. Now you know where I get my diva qualities from….”
“Hahaha.” I feigned laughter. “Your mom sounds adorable.”
“Like me?” Jay batted his eyelids real fast and sat down.
I pretended to let my guard down. Jay told me more stories about his mother and how she would often say the most inappropriate things in public without realizing how audible she was.
Out of nowhere, Jay put his hand on my right knee. “Would you be interested in investing in a business idea like mine?”
“I will give you my honest answer, Jay.” I politely moved his hand away. “I’m not sure if the idea is unique enough to be an international venture. I mean, even in New York, bookshops with cafes are a dime a dozen. Maybe I’m not seeing it, but how will you keep traffic in the store?”
Jay’s jaw dropped. “I thought you were supportive of my dreams.”
“I’m giving you a realistic picture.”
There was an awkward silence.
“I see.” Jay put his folder inside his knapsack.
“You know I don’t mollycoddle. As your friend, I’d much rather show you the truth than see you crumble under an illusion.”
Jay punched his left hand with his right fist. “I am sick of not being anybody.” He covered his face with his palms.
I was out of patience; I said nothing. I quickly looked at my phone. Naina had texted emojis of a man wailing. Her note read, “Is fuck face Dubois crying?”
I typed, “And much more,” before putting my phone away.
I couldn’t help note how different Rohan was compared to Jay. Rohan made me feel special—like I was the center of his universe. Jay was dis
tracted even in the café. He was watching a police car chase show and taking out his frustrations on me. Rohan was always playful but in a light-hearted, silly sort of way. He had never tried to seize an opportunity with me.
My phone rang a few times. The text was from Rohan. “Don’t chicken out, Matron. Our table at Dionysus is all booked for 9 p.m. Looking forward to you trying out my favorite drink.” His text message had emoticons at the end of it: one of a woman dancing, another of a drunk man, people saying cheers in Hindi, and many others.
“I won’t, Brady. :)”
Rohan wrote back right away, “Prepare to be wooed Southern style.” There was a thumbs-up emoticon at the end of his message.
I took a sip of my tea and typed back. “Paagal.”
“Turn that off already.” Jay pointed at my phone.
“Sorry, expecting an important call.”
“Boyfriend?
“No.” I smiled. “A dear friend.” I put the phone inside my handbag.
“But I’m your best friend, right?” Jay searched for answers in my eyes. When I didn’t say anything, he stood up abruptly. “I’m sorry, but I need to step out to make an important call.”
“Sure.” I shrugged.
I needed to manage patience and understanding to get through the evening, that much I had gathered after just a coffee meet-up with Jay.
As soon as Jay stepped outside, I called up Naina. I looked over my shoulder to make sure he wasn’t anywhere around. “Listen, I know that Jay wants money from me. Now that I have turned down his offer to invest in his business, he must figure out other ways of monetizing our ‘friendship.’”
“Get out now, Ahana. I don’t have a good feeling about him.”
“For the temper-throwing man Jay is, he has been relatively stable today, which makes me wonder if there’s something else he wants from me.” I was confronted by my own vulnerabilities.
Jay returned a second later; I hung up abruptly.
“You are so popular.” His mood was different. He looked happier.
“Haha.” I couldn’t think of a more banal response.
“Since you love nature, I figured I’d show you a pretty part of NYC.”
“I’ve seen Central Park, Jay. I should head back.”
“Sheesh; you don’t have to rub it in that you have other friends who have shown you around.” He rolled his eyes.
I spoke in a fake, apologetic tone. “I didn’t mean anything by it, Jay.”
He pushed an empty chair. “I mean I visit New York for you. I have fucking money problems, and you can’t even stay a little bit longer.”
Jay had severe anger issues. “You are right.” I took a big gulp of water.
“Good.” He adjusted his cap. “You haven’t been to The Ravine, I know.”
How does he know where I have or haven’t been? Has Jay been in NYC this whole time?
“What is that?” I stood up and buttoned my coat.
“It’s intended to resemble the wilderness of the Adirondacks, but it’s all manmade. Central Park. Around 103rd Street.”
“Do you come up here often?’
“Of course! People, who can’t afford vacations and getaways come to this point to enjoy the magic of nature. The rushing sound of the waterfall drowns the city noise. I often go up there just to get away from everything, especially when I miss my mother. It’s hard to fill the emptiness inside my heart sometimes.”
His eyes looked sad and cold.
I clutched at my coat. The darkness inside of me started to rise and I couldn’t push it down. I was familiar with the feeling Jay described: the haunting loneliness after Mumma died.
I peeped outside the glass doors. “It’s getting dark out. I don’t think it’s safe to be in the park, Jay.”
“Maybe not for a woman. But you are with a blue-blooded, athletic American. You will be safe. I have punched muggers in the face.”
I didn’t think Jay knew how to get rid of the slime in his personality.
* * *
Jay and I started to walk toward the entrance to Central Park. His coat was flapping. I wanted to call Naina, but there was no time or opportunity. I quickly sent her a text with my plan and put my phone inside my bag.
It was slightly nippy outside. Trees bursting with vibrant colors reminded me of Holi, the festival of colors, in New Delhi. Mumma would say “Holi signifies the victory of good over evil.” Thinking of my mother’s words gave me an upsurge of confidence that everything was going to be OK. I didn’t realize that lost in my thoughts, I had wrapped my arms around my shoulders and was rubbing them subtly.
Jay pointed at his Jets sweatshirt. “Do you want my hoodie?”
“No, thank you.” I smiled at him. Now he was faking friendliness and gentlemanly behavior.
“I thought you were a fitness junkie. You’re walking slower than my turtle.” He brought his palms together and laughed loudly.
“I didn’t know that the first time we met, you’d take me out for a walk.” I walked as fast as my legs would carry me.
“Where did you think I would take you?” Jay added air quotes as he said the word “take.”
“Don’t go there.” My voice was tight. I didn’t care that I was in public or if people on the street were staring at me or if Jay was doing some innocent flirting. “‘That’s the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty...you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are,’” he quoted J. D. Salinger.
I crossed my hands on my chest but didn’t respond. Jay suddenly stopped and spoke softly, “I know there’s something eating you alive. I’m here to help you.” He held my shoulders.
I stared at him.
He let go. “I’m not some perv who wants to harass you. I’m your friend who cares about you deeply, Ahana.”
Before I could say anything, after walking for about twenty or maybe twenty-five minutes, we stopped on a quiet block and entered a world I never knew existed. We made our way toward The Ravine in Central Park’s North Woods.
The place was so serene but eerily quiet. I could listen to water cascade over the falls. I squinted as I adjusted my mind and eyes to the new surroundings—a nature lover’s heaven.
Jay picked up his pace as I struggled to keep my balance in my stilettos.
“Come over and look at this paradise.” Jay sat on one of the rocks where a couple of turtles were sunning themselves before the sun went down completely.
But I couldn’t enjoy the place fully. Something didn’t feel right. I looked around and saw no one else.
“Let’s go back,” I pleaded with Jay as I looked for exit points.
“What, you don’t trust me?” He smacked his lips.
I spoke confidently. “I never said that.”
Jay didn’t move. “All I’m trying to do is show you the unique places you have never been to—”
I cut him off. “I know that. And I appreciate it so much. But we can’t enjoy much right now in any case—it’s dark out here. Maybe we can come back?”
“This isn’t Delhi, Ahana. I’d take a bullet for you.” Jay tried to placate me.
“Why are you being weird, Jay?” I narrowed my eyes.
Jay grabbed my hand.
“Don’t touch me.” I pulled away.
“What is with you, hon? I’m joking.”
It struck me as odd that Jay didn’t want to listen to anything I had to say. I exploded. “It’s always about you, isn’t it? What works for you and what doesn’t! The rest of us need to realign our lives according to your mood and schedule.” I was mad at myself for reacting to Jay.
“What are you talking about?” He arched an eyebrow and came closer.
I wet my lips and moved away. “I asked you about your mother and Louisiana, but you didn’t answer. You are always so moody!” The park was quiet, and I feared walking back alone out of it.
“I have never been the guy who sits and talks. I don’t get onto the phone or do video chats.�
� Jay’s tone was different. “I’m not the kind of guy who will remember to bring you your favorite tea or cook your favorite meal when you are sad.” Was Jay referring to Rohan and my time spent with him? I was terrified.
I stuttered. “I’m sorry, Jay, but I need to leave. I have a date.”
He looked provoked. “I’m not good enough because I can’t be Mr. Moneybags who introduces you to high society life. We both know the kind of men you like to be with, Ahana.” Jay wiped his hands on his jeans.
Nervously, I put my hands on my hips and turned around to see whether anyone else was around. My back toward Jay, I heard a noise. Someone was screaming. I saw Jay’s hands were in the air right above his ears as if he were trying to swat a fly. There was an old white woman, with two braids, saying something to him. I couldn’t tell what, but he was saying something back to her.
I walked toward him at a pace I couldn’t believe my feet knew in a pair of heels.
“Ma’am, what are you doing?” Jay was walking away from the woman trying to claw at him.
The woman mumbled something and wiped her nose.
“You touched my wife?” A six-foot plus black man appeared out of the bushes from behind the petite white woman.
“No, I did not.” Jay pulled the sleeve of his jacket down over his hands like he was about to punch someone. “Your wife tried to pick my pocket, so I tried to stop her.”
I couldn’t believe this was happening. “Let’s go, Jay. Let’s go.” I was holding onto my bag real tight.
A heavy hand grabbed my shoulder from behind. I froze. I could smell cheap cigarettes. I turned around and it was a middle-aged white guy.
“Don’t touch me!” I yelled.
The guy let go.
The black guy walked toward me and grabbed my arm. He smelled like mints. He squeezed my shoulders hard. “If he can touch my wife,” he pointed toward Jay, “why can’t I touch his girlfriend?”
“I am not his girlfriend!” I exclaimed. I didn’t want to belong to Jay.
The muggers let out an empty laugh. I stumbled forward and on to the ground as the black guy let go of me. The two men then walked toward Jay.
I kept looking at the park’s entrance, hoping someone would walk past and save us. Darkness swallowed the twilight sky. It was hard not to panic. I kept mumbling to myself. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening.
Louisiana Catch Page 25
