She stuck her head out of the kitchen window. "See ya boys…"
Chapter Five
Sadie cried for a long while after Jim and Smitty left. So many things ran through her head. Whatever was she going to do? She fumbled with the kerchief in her hand, it was wet from her tears. She stared down at herself. Her belly had grown and she was feeling movement now, she knew what that meant. She was pregnant. When she first discovered something different about herself, she looked into the mirror and saw the small hump to her stomach that had never been there. She dismissed it then as putting on weight. But the hump kept growing. Then one day she felt a slight twinge, and she knew. She didn't know whether to be happy or sad about having a baby. It never dawned on her that she might get pregnant. She'd only had relations with Elmer.
She counted up the weeks from her monthly and she figured she was about four months if the baby was moving. She sighed. This was the first time in her life, she honestly didn't know what to do. She wished Elmer were here. She wished she could turn back the clock and do things differently.
"God forgive me…" she whispered.
Jim and Smitty hadn't noticed she was pregnant, either that or they just didn't say anything about it. No one had said anything about it yet. It wasn't completely obvious, only to her. That was in her favor, but sooner or later everyone that saw her would know. The whole town of Cross Timbers would know too. How could she handle it? What could she say in her defense.
She thought of ways to explain. Perhaps a stranger came to town and she indulged. Only once and it happened. Was that believable? The burden of proof weighed heavy on her. Elmer might never know. Did she want him to know? Did she want to ruin his life forever, with an unwelcome child to raise?
Fear caused many sleepless nights and Sadie tried to decide what to do? But what could she do? She was pregnant with Elmer's baby, and fear and lack of knowledge of the birth process scared her witless. There were no doctors in Cross Timbers. There were no midwives left. What was she going to do? Could she deliver her own baby? Was that possible?
She'd never had anything like this happen, and the thought of having another person to take care of scared her.
And the jeers she would get from people here…!
She had to come up with some kind of plausible excuse for the baby. But what? No one had ever seen her court. She'd never confided in any of the women about her love life. What would people think of her? Every day she got up, the baby reminded her of its presence. Every day, she worried over what to say to others. How to explain.
And yet, her private life, was her private life. Wasn't it? Didn't she have a right to some sort of privacy herself?
Depression settled over her. It wouldn't be long before she was showing. People would begin to notice.
She'd never been seen with another man in her life, but Elmer. Would they put it all together? And if they did, would they try to kill her for what she had done? They were bound to call her names and maybe even call her out.
Still, she couldn't hide either. She didn't want to hide. She was proud she had a baby to love. And it was Elmer's baby, her mind repeated. At least that's how it started out. But as time went on, the thrill of being pregnant faded with the fear mounting each day.
It seemed impossible to Sadie. She never once dreamed she would conceive. And now she had a fear that was eating her alive. She loved the baby, because it belonged to her and Elmer. How could she not love it? And even though she might never see Elmer again, she would have something of his to love forever.
Still, that was simply romantic notions. People would see her love as an abomination, they would scorn her, she'd be an outcast.
But would everyone put it together? Or could she possibly lie? If anyone even suspected this child was Elmer's there was no telling what they might do to her and him. At least Elmer wasn't here to endure the rumors and gossip that might begin at any moment.
Sadie didn't panic easy. Although the unexpected pregnancy had thrown her off guard. She'd find a way to survive, if for no other reason than the baby itself.
The urge to confess to Jim and Smitty made Sadie anxious. Now they were gone and it was too late. Perhaps that was best. She couldn't be completely honest with them, so maybe she wouldn't tell them anything.
Unless they came back!
She liked Jim and Smitty. She wanted to be friends. She had so few a friend here in Cross Timbers now.
In some ways she hoped they came back and soon. In others, she was fearful of their discovery.
The thought of moving circled her mind. It might be the only solution. But she'd hold out here as long as she could.
She had one old mule, and if need be, she could ride it to Melville.
She glanced down at herself again. She rubbed her belly and patted it. A baby. She'd never thought she would have a child. Not in all her years. The prospect had once been appealing, but now was simply a disgrace.
"I want better for you than me and Elmer ever had," she talked as though the baby could hear her. "I surely do. If it's in my power, I'll see to it, too."
She prayed daily for forgiveness, but was not at all sure God heard her prayers.
Pregnant and alone she sat in Sadie's Haven crying and trying to figure out what to do next.
"Please let this baby be healthy and grow up good. Let me and Elmer do something right with our lives. I know he has a lot of regrets. I wish I could comfort him. I wish he could comfort me…" She cried aloud.
But as darkness fell, Sadie went to bed and prayed for another day. A better day as a tear rolled down her cheek.
~*~
Meanwhile, in Hard Tack John Conroy was making new friends every day. He was determined to put forth a good example and work hard. He'd never had an opportunity like this before to start over and do things right.
He'd never had the respect of others like he did here in Hard Tack. He had found a new home and nothing would ever be the same again.
"I'll never kill again," He promised God in the privacy of his room. "I'll abide with your commandments, Lord. I won't kill, steal, covet, lie, and I will do my best to honor my Ma and Pa, but I gotta admit that is probably the hardest commandment to live up to. But I will try!"
He liked Mr. Stanley, he was a God fearin' Christian and he treated everyone fairly. Although he had some peculiar ways, and unusual habits, John would never judge him for that. He of all people could never judge anyone. It wasn't long before people were ordering special cuts of meats from him and John's business had improved.
With few bills, he found saving his money was easy and he prided himself in taking the banker's advice on money issues.
"John, it's time you moved out of that hotel room. I'm sure it's costing you a fortune. I've got a shack out back of the café if you want to use it until you get on your feet more." Stanley offered.
John considered that. "Well thank you Mr. Stanley. I'd appreciate that. How much?"
"Oh, let's say a couple of dollars a month. It isn't anything to brag about, but you could save your money up until you were able to do better."
"That's a dandy idea, Mr. Stanley. I'll take you up on that and move in immediately then if you don't mind."
"Not at all. And please call me George. After all, we are friends and it sounds so formal you calling me Mr. Stanley." They shook hands and it seemed a bit odd, but Stanley's hand shake lasted a little longer than John expected. Stanley's hand was sweaty and his eyes pierced him for a moment. John shook it off as just the way Stanley was.
"Alright then, thank you George."
John escorted several ladies about town, but he wasn't interested in any of them. Every unmarried woman in town, wanted to date the butcher it seemed.
John never got the big head, but none of the ladies he'd courted suited him enough to get serious. That is until Mr. Carver came in one day.
"George, John. I'm having a party this weekend out at my place and I'd love John to butcher me a calf and maybe a hog too. I'd like some n
ice thick steaks too, if he has the time."
"Of course he does, Sam. John, you heard the man. This will be your first big order and Mr. Carver is one of our most prominent ranchers about."
John's eyes glazed seeing the dollar mark in his own eyes, he smiled. "Be glad to fix you up Mr. Carver."
"And plan on joining us at the party. I hear you are quite the bachelor."
"Well, I guess so…" John was overwhelmed at the man's polite invite.
John took extra pride in butchering the calf and hog for Mr. Carver and made fifty steaks for the party. Mr. Carver was impressed.
As he went to deliver them he met Mr. Carver's daughter Penelope.
Penelope was a quiet little thing, with long brown hair and dark brown eyes. She blushed every time John looked at her. She wasn't the prettiest girl in town, rather plain and simple, but John liked her because he found it easy to talk to her. She wasn't so prim and proper and set him at ease.
At the party John claimed her for several dances and they even took a walk by the creek near-by.
"We've never had an actual butcher in town." She remarked glancing up at him with awe.
"Really. Well, you do now."
"Are you plannin' on makin' this your home?" Penelope asked as she found a big rock to sit upon and watch him as he walked in front of her several times.
"I am. I like it here. I got a good business and I have high hopes of making enough to buy a place someday."
"Really?" She smiled. "My you are ambitious."
"I'm surprised you don't have a regular beau, Miss Penelope."
She blushed again, but then she began to relax and speak her mind. "Never had one I'm afraid. I'm rather plain to look at. Plain girls get passed by a lot, I guess. But I figure when the right one comes along…"
John stopped in front of her and stared into her warm brown eyes. "I don't see anything plain about you. I like you Penelope. You are very easy to talk to."
"You think so?" She smiled again. "No one's ever said that to me before. Of course most folks around here have known me all my life. I guess they find me dull or something."
"I don't." He boasted taking her hand. His lips brushed gently on the top of her delicate hand.
Her small hand quivered in his.
He bent his head and kissed her fingers, too.
"Thank you…for a lovely time, John. You are easy to talk to too." She blushed.
He pulled her to her feet and gently kissed her on the cheek. She didn't seem upset, but pleased in the attention.
"No one's ever kissed me before either…" she sighed.
"Then I'll have to do it often, won't I?" He smiled at her.
"Goodness," she fanned her face with her hand. "You are quite the charmer, all the women adore you, you know…."
"Really, does that include you?" He asked boldly.
"Yes, of course…" she murmured.
He bowed slightly took her hand and squeezed it.
From that moment on, they were a couple and everyone noticed. He took her to church every Sunday, he planned picnics in the country. He even escorted her to a dance a couple of times.
Mr. Carver didn't seem upset in the least that his one and only daughter had taken kindly to him and John felt elated.
He called on Penelope every week, and they rode out in a buggy and enjoyed the scenery. One day they stopped for a picnic. "Oh this is such a lovely spot, John." Penelope sighed as he spread the blanket on the ground and they sat down. She opened the picnic basket and spread the food out for them.
"Do you come here often?" she asked as she straightened her dress and hair..
"I just found this spot the other day. I wanted you to see it. Someday, I'll build a home here."
She stopped and stared at him. "I believe you will, John."
He looked at her. "Penelope, I know we've only known each other a short time, but…I assure you my intentions are honorable. I want to marry you, Penelope. Would you…be my wife?"
"Oh John," she swooned. "Yes, yes…."
"You don't think me too forward in asking so soon?" He frowned.
"Oh no…I was hoping…." She smiled shyly at him. "I've waited a lifetime already for the right man. Now that he's here, I'm not about to let someone else grab him."
He liked the way she blushed. On that day he thought her the most beautiful woman in the world. He didn't see plainness. He saw a beautiful woman. He saw the woman he loved.
"Then I'll ask your father for your hand tonight. Oh, Penelope. I've never been this happy in my life. I never dreamed I could have such a life. But you make me feel as though I could conquer the world if I tried."
"And you could!" she giggled.
She swooned against him and he held her to him, his lips finding hers with accuracy. His kisses were long and drugging, making him want more, but he knew he had to temper his lust for her. Penelope was a delicate woman, unused to unschooled men.
For long lingering moments they kissed until they were both breathless. She fell against the blanket and he bent over her to kiss her sweet mouth once more.
John felt a stirring he hadn't felt since he had been with Sadie. But he quickly stashed the memory of Sadie away in a dark corner. That life was over. He was making something of himself here. He wouldn't ruin it by conjuring memories.
Instead he squeezed Penelope tighter and she encouraged another kiss.
Her cheeks were chafed as he drove her back to her ranch. Neither wanted to part, they had such a wonderful day together.
"When will you speak to my father?" she asked, putting her hand over his.
"Tonight. We have a meeting tonight, the town council is going to ask me to join. Your father has already spoken to me about it. Of course I will accept. I want to do everything I can to make this a wonderful town to be proud of."
"I'm proud of you now, John." She said softly. He saw a matching desire in her eyes that almost made him lose his control.
The urge to kiss her again was strong, but John knew he had to act the perfect gentleman or he would ruin his chances of winning her hand. Her father was about the property somewhere and he might see them.
"I cannot wait to make you mine." He whispered as he looked into her sweet face.
"Neither can I, John. I look forward to it." She sighed as he helped her down from the buggy and walked her to the door. "Perhaps I'll see you tonight, then?"
"Oh yes, I'll be here. I'm hosting for father. Please, let me know if he is favorable."
"Of course, my sweet, I will." John smiled and kissed her knuckles.
John returned the buggy to the town stable and went back to work. All afternoon he whistled and contemplated making Penelope his. At last he had what he'd always wanted, a home. Hard Tack had become his home. The feeling of euphoria enveloping made him smile as he worked.
That evening as they celebrated his joining the town council, they toasted him. Mr. Carver had invited several of his ranching neighbors and several of the town council. John mingled among them as though he'd been there all his life. John was never happier. He smiled and humbly accepted his new position.
Later he pulled Mr. Carver aside.
"I've been wanting to speak to you about Penelope." John said as he cast her a glance as she cleaned up the huge den.
"Oh…I've been wondering where your intentions lie. So what have you decided about that?"
"I want to ask you for her hand in marriage, sir."
Mr. Carver frowned at first then broke into a sudden grin. "I couldn't be happier for the both of you. I know how she feels and it is wonderful to know you return her feelings. I'm also glad you are settling down and wanting to make a family. Family is important John. Don't you think?"
"Oh yes, I couldn't agree more. I've dreamed of having this kind of life and now that it is happening, well…it almost unbelievable."
"So, how soon do you want to marry?"
"I don't want to wait long. After all, we aren't getting any younger and I have plans to make
her a fine home someday too."
"I see, well, until you do, I'd like to offer you the Henley House at the end of Main street. It belonged to her grandmother and it would suit you well since it's just down the street from where you work. It has plenty of room and should do until you build your own home."
"That is more than generous of you…"
"Consider it a wedding present then…" Mr. Carver patted him on the back. "I'll be throwing you an engagement party in the next few days then to celebrate. Its seems we have much to celebrate doesn't it?"
"Yes sir, it does."
"I'm glad to have you in the family John."
John smiled, and glanced at Penelope again. He wanted to dispel any worry she might have. He smiled and nodded.
John could not believe his good fortune. Now he was going to have a wife and a home. Could his life get any better?
When everyone went home, he pulled Penelope onto the porch so he could tell her.
"Oh isn't it wonderful. Daddy is being so generous. I never expected Grandma's house. He thinks so much of you John. He'd never give us the house, if he didn't."
"And I him." John confirmed.
"I never thought I'd be this happy." Penelope cried.
John took her into his arms and kissed her hotly. She swooned in his arms, answering him with another kiss. John couldn't get over how eager she was to be with him. The reactions she showed made him glow.
"Two weeks and we'll be married."
"It's like a dream…"
"I know, my sweet. But I will make it all a reality." He promised. "I love you Penelope."
"Oh…and I love you John." She said as he pulled her back into his arms and kissed her with all his might.
"Do you have a dress?"
"No, but I'll make one." She smiled.
"You sew too?" He squeezed her.
"I have…many talents…" she sighed into his arms once more. "Of which I can hardly wait to show you."
"We are going to have a happy life together Penelope." John said as he finally stepped away from her. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"You will?" She smiled.
Bad Day for a Killing (Book Three of the Western Serial Killer Series) Page 4
