by Kate Pearce
“What?” Henrietta had to raise her startled gaze to his.
“Will you dance with me?” Benjamin asked again. “I’ve danced with several delightful ladies tonight, but all I could think about was you.”
“I’m not dressed for dancing, and there’s no music.” Henrietta objected even as her heart leaped at the very idea.
“You are always so practical.” He paused. “Can you not imagine, then? Can you allow the magic of Castle Keyvnor to enfold us for one last time?”
“Why? I was horrible to you.” Her voice cracked. “I sent you away.”
“I know you did, and I deserved it.” His smile was like the sweetest balm to her bruised heart. “But here I am, wanting to dance with you, wanting to share this Christmas Eve moment with you. So what will you do?”
“You’re not playing fair.” She sniffed.
“Why should I?” He had the audacity to chuckle. “What do I have to lose?”
“Your reputation?”
“By dancing with you? I don’t think so.” He took her other hand and placed it on his shoulder. “Come on.”
She knew the steps of all the dances because she’d learned them at school, but she’d never actually performed them with a man. She allowed her fingers to rest on the shoulder of his extremely well-cut coat, as he encircled her waist with his arm.
Out of nowhere the sound of a lute emerged, playing a remarkably modern version of a waltz. Henrietta looked up to see Benedict sitting atop the parapet wall, strumming away and smiling encouragingly down at her.
With a sigh, she accepted the inevitable and allowed Benjamin to lead her into the dance. They fitted together perfectly, his lean strength the ideal balance for her softer curves. She wanted to weep, she wanted to sing, and she wanted the moment never to end.
“Henrietta…”
Benjamin looked down at her, his soul in his eyes, and she stood on tiptoe to kiss him. If this was their magic moment, mayhap she should make the most of it. His mouth opened to her, and then she simply allowed her emotions to do her talking as they explored each other until she suddenly knew what she wanted.
It was a magical night. It was her last night with Benjamin before he returned to being a peer, and she became a respectable governess.
She cupped Benjamin’s chin. “Will you come to bed with me?”
His eyes widened. “I beg your pardon?”
“I know it is extremely forward of me to be offering myself to you like this, but—”
The rest of her explanation was swallowed in his kiss.
Eventually, she pulled away and made him look at her. “You must promise that we share this one night only with no regret on either side on the morrow.”
“If I must.” He kissed her again.
Eventually, she took his hand, and they climbed the stairs to the servants’ quarters together. It was quiet up there. All the staff was currently engaged in helping with the ball or serving the supper. Even though she thought they would not be disturbed, she locked the door behind them.
Benjamin turned a slow circle, looking from her bed to the wooden pegs where she had hung her other gown, petticoat, and cloak.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked softly.
In answer, she started unpinning her bodice, and he rushed to her side, burying his hands in her hair to remove the pins that held it in place.
“I’ve imagined doing this so many times,” he whispered. “Taking down your hair, wrapping my fist in it, and keeping you close…”
Henrietta shivered at the promise in his words as she let her gown fall to the floor, revealing her plain stays, shift, and petticoat. He was probably used to silk and satin, but she had none of those things to tempt him with. Not that he seemed to need them.
“May I help you?” Benjamin asked.
She turned her back to him, removed her petticoat, and allowed him to unlace her stays. Her breathing was so ragged she thought she might faint. His fingertips grazed her shoulder, and he bent to kiss her throat.
“You are so beautiful. I cannot believe I am here with you and not still stuck in my dreams.”
She wanted to remind him that it still was a dream, but something held her back. With his living, breathing presence behind her, how could she pretend he wasn’t real—that what they were about to do together would not remain seared in her memory forever?
“Help me,” Benjamin commanded.
She turned to face him, one eyebrow raised. “You managed without your valet for three days. Have you already forgotten how to undress yourself?”
“No, but I’d much rather you did it.” He sighed as she reached for his intricately tied cravat. “Robert, efficient as he is, doesn’t have quite the same effect on me.”
It didn’t take long for her to reduce him to just his shirt, which he tore off over his head, leaving him naked and hard and so perfectly beautiful that Henrietta could only stare at him. She reached out and traced the passage from his sternum down to the flatness of his stomach with her fingertip.
He shuddered and brought her into his arms. “Don’t go any lower or I’ll disgrace myself.”
His cock pressed against her shift, making it damp as he kissed her with a lavish thoroughness that made her moan and rub herself against him like a cat. She should have known he would take his responsibilities very seriously. His hand inched under her shift to clasp her bottom, lifting her into him and making her want…
“Let’s lie down before I fall,” he murmured against her lips. “I’d rather not resort to the desperate tactics of backing you up against the nearest wall and having my way with you.”
She nipped his ear. “Maybe we can try that later.”
He groaned and followed her down onto the narrow bed, straddling her hips as he removed her shift. His gaze fastened on her breasts, and he licked his lips.
“Dear God…”
A second later his mouth was on her, tasting her hard nipple and the softness of her flesh while she writhed beneath him. His hand skimmed her hip and then cupped her between the legs.
“You’re wet for me.”
Henrietta smiled and rocked her hips against the palm of his questing hand. His thumb found her bud, and he toyed with her, his fingers easily gaining entry inside her, moving in a rhythm as old as time. She closed her eyes as pleasure overwhelmed her in such sharp, bright colors that she climaxed immediately.
He went still, his heart pounding against her chest, his hot, throbbing cock pressed to her stomach.
“I want to be inside you.” He met her gaze, his hand lingering, learning her, inciting her passion with every touch. “I promise I will not…come inside you, but—l must—”
She touched his swollen, well-kissed mouth with her fingertips. “You will not make me pregnant even if you do come inside me. I’m due to bleed in the next day or so.”
“What difference does that make?”
He frowned down at her, and she almost laughed. He was naked, aroused, and braced over her body. But even in the throes of passion he wanted to know all the particulars before he proceeded.
“Remember, I lived with an army. Most of the women who followed the drum didn’t want to conceive children in that uncertain environment. They talked about such things, and I listened.”
Benjamin studied Henrietta for a long moment, and then took her hand and wrapped it firmly around the base of his shaft. She would not deceive him. He would wager his soul on that. His ability to construct another rational thought crumbled as she slid her fingers up and down his cock, making his hips rock into the rhythm she demanded. He hastily removed her hand.
“No, or I’ll not last another minute.”
She laughed up at him, and he found himself smiling back. He’d never had sex with a woman he regarded as a cross between a goddess and an equal before. All his other encounters had been of a more transactional nature. This was the most thrilling and freeing event of his life. Her frank appreciation of his body, and her willingness to allo
w him to plunder hers, was remarkable.
He eased her thighs apart with his knees and lightly grazed his knuckles over her golden mound and the delightful swollen bud beneath. She closed her eyes and writhed against the sheet, making him stare in awe at the fact that he was doing this to her. Baron Saxelby, heir to the Earl of Widcome.
“Benjamin…”
Her softly spoken plea made him pause. No, this wasn’t Saxelby. This was Benjamin making love for the first time in his life.
He eased down over her glorious, lush body, one hand guiding his cock deep as he thrust forward and was taken in, and…Gods. He had to close his eyes in case he wept with the sheer pleasure of it. Henrietta had let him inside her, and he felt as if he’d come home.
Her hands came to rest on his shoulders, and she raised her hips, allowing him to sink even deeper and align their bodies in perfect harmony. He had to move now, had to see if the pleasure stayed or increased ten-thousand fold. Her gasp as he rocked back and dove in again shuddered through his body. He wanted to give her everything—wanted to make her scream his name and never ever forget him.
Her nails raked his back, and her heel crept up the back of his thigh to his arse, holding him locked against her. It was heaven and hell, and he had to come, had to…
With one last anguished cry, Benjamin climaxed so hard he bit his lip and tasted blood. Just as he thought he might regain his senses, Henrietta came too, and his whole world disintegrated into a mindless sensation of pure need as his cock was squeezed and pummeled within the tight grip of her channel.
He stayed braced over her, waiting for his heart to slow down, aware that she was wrapped around him and that he never wanted to let her go again. He didn’t want to think about that. Didn’t want reality interfering with their magical night just yet. With a groan, he managed to roll away and almost ended up on the floor.
Henrietta slowly opened her eyes, and stared up at the angled ceiling. She wanted to pull Benjamin’s body back over hers so they could stay joined together and forget everything. She’d been given a blessing. Lying with Benjamin had changed her, freed her from the past and the awkward fumblings of a marriage gone rotten from the start. She’d begun to believe she would never experience passion, but Benjamin had shown her otherwise. Who would have thought he concealed such depths?
She eased over onto her side and dragged Benjamin back from the edge of the narrow bed to face her. She could hear the echoes of the Yule Ball down below, music and laughter and the faint howl of the ever-present wind prowling the castle halls. None of that mattered. She traced his fine features, the curve of his mouth and the aquiline bridge of his nose.
“Thank you.”
He raised an eyebrow. “I was about to say the same thing.” He paused. “Unless, you mean you want me to leave?”
“Not unless you have to get back to the ball, or your family.”
“I doubt they will miss me.” His smile was wry. “They didn’t notice when I disappeared for two whole days, so a few hours more won’t matter.”
“The servants have been asking about you, but no one has noticed you are still here.” She stroked an errant strand of auburn hair away from his cheek. She couldn’t seem to stop touching him. “People are very unobservant sometimes.”
“I couldn’t agree with you more. From now on, I will be paying attention to the people who serve me, and I will appreciate their efforts.”
“Until you become used to them again, and they fade into the background.”
He studied her face. “I’ll never forget you.”
“Or I, you.” She leaned in to kiss him just as he did the same thing. Their mouths met and clung until he rolled her beneath him again and loved her until she forgot everything but the scent, taste, and feel of him.
One magical night. One man who had restored her faith in all men and made her feel desirable again. She’d never forget him.
How could she?
A door slammed somewhere along the corridor, and Benjamin woke up with a start. It only took him a second to remember that he had Henrietta wrapped in his arms and was in her bed in the attics of Castle Keyvnor. She sighed and nestled closer, her glorious hair draped over his chest like a warrior’s cloak.
He didn’t want to get up. He didn’t want to go down those stairs and be the stiff and formal Saxelby again. Henrietta liked Benjamin, and that was the most precious Christmas gift he’d ever received.
There was a scratching sound, and Benjamin switched his besotted gaze from Henrietta to where her clothing was hung on a row of pegs on the wall. A letter fell out of her apron pocket and floated gently down to the floor right next to him by the bed.
Benjamin was fairly certain that no draft had blown the letter to him and searched hard for any sight of Benedict Nankervis. He heard the ghost of a laugh, and then nothing more. Trying not to awaken Henrietta, he reached out and picked up the familiar letter that had a London address scrawled in one corner. The seal was unbroken.
“What are you doing?” Henrietta murmured sleepily.
“I’m not sure.”
“That’s my letter.” She opened one eye and eased herself off his chest. “Where did you get that?”
“It floated out of your apron pocket practically into my hand.” He offered it to her. “Why haven’t you opened it?”
She sat up, her hair falling over her breasts, and yawned, which made his morning cockstand spring to attention. “I put it in my pocket and forgot about it.”
“Then perhaps you should open it now.”
She wrinkled her nose at him. “You are remarkably annoying in the morning.”
“Seeing as your ghostly friend delivered the letter to me personally, I feel somewhat obliged to make sure you read it.”
She peered at the address and broke the seal with obvious reluctance. “It’s from the solicitor in London.”
“What solicitor?” Benjamin asked.
“It has something to do with my father’s estate—or lack of it. I never met his family, and my mother was an only child, so I suppose I am the only person left to take care of his affairs.” She grimaced. “I am almost afraid to find out what it says.”
“Would you like me to read it for you?”
She patted his arm. “That’s very sweet of you, Benjamin, but it hardly merits your time or your attention.”
He bit back his first reply that anything that disturbed her demanded his attention and, feeling curiously hurt, gestured to the door.
“Would you prefer it if I left you to read the letter in peace?”
She glanced up at him, the unfolded letter still in her hand. “Now I have offended you, and you’re back to being top-lofty again.”
“I am only trying to be practical,” he pointed out as calmly as he could, suddenly aware of his nakedness, and the scent of their lovemaking all around him. She’d offered him one precious night, not the rest of her life. He’d promised to abide by that decision. He tried to match her practical tone.
“I am in your bed, and I’m fairly certain you wouldn’t wish Mrs. Bray to catch me here.”
She put the letter on the pillow and touched his cheek. “I’ll never forget this night, Benjamin. You…” She swallowed hard. “It’s hard to let you go, but I promised myself I wouldn’t regret a thing, and I won’t.”
“You don’t have to let me go.” He heard himself speaking before he even realized he had something to say. “We could—”
“No, we couldn’t. I don’t want to be any man’s mistress, and you are too far above me socially to allow anything else.” She got out of bed and started hunting for her clothes, throwing his on the bed.
He gripped the sheet tightly between his fingers. “Who says so?”
She sighed. “Benjamin, your family are obviously very important to you, and you consider it your duty to maintain your good name.”
“Yes, that’s true, but what if I wanted to marry you—”
She grabbed a washcloth, and vigorously began t
o wash her body, removing his scent, his possession of her, even as he watched. “I don’t want to be the reason you become alienated from your family. My father lost his family when he married my mother, and I don’t think he ever came to terms with that rejection.”
“But he loved your mother.”
She paused as she struggled into a clean shift. “Yes, he did, but he lost everything because of that choice. He was no longer invited to events he had long considered his birthright. He was ignored by friends and barred from his club.” She swung around, and he realized she was close to tears. “I cannot do that to you.”
“You still think that’s all I care about.” He didn’t even bother to make it a question. He pulled his shirt over his head and stepped into his underclothes and pantaloons, his movements jerky as he struggled to control his thoughts.
“No, but you should care. If you don’t consider these things, you might make a terrible mistake.” She came toward him and turned her back so he could help her with her stays. “We had a wonderful night together. Can you not be satisfied with that?”
He laced her corset tight and tied the bow with shaking fingers. Every layer of clothing she added put her further away from him. Every goddamned reasonable word she uttered did exactly the same thing.
He spun her around to face him. “And what if I think through all these matters very carefully indeed, and I still want you?”
She studied him for so long that he almost forgot how to breathe.
“Then I suppose you might find me and tell me so.”
“I won’t know where you are.” As usual, his dogged determination to set things straight between them warred with his eminently practical nature.
Her smile was a mixture of sweetness and fear that almost felled him to his knees. “You’ll find me if you really want to.” She went on tiptoe to kiss his mouth. “Now you should go back to your own room and behave yourself.”
“I intend to.” He kissed her back. “May I speak freely to you if I see you around the castle today?”
“Yes—as long as you don’t take me in your arms and kiss me.”
