I couldn't make that promise. He had to know I couldn't make that promise, but I just sat there silently. It seemed my lack of argument along with Gary and Sonya's promises were agreement enough for him since he relaxed into his seat, keeping me in his arms. Completely exhausted both physically and emotionally, I closed my eyes. Afraid he would try to leave me if I fell asleep, I wrapped the hem of his T-shirt around my hand, gripping it in my palm. The sound of his quick-paced heartbeat was finally too much for my drained body as it lulled me to rest.
Roadblock
We made our way to Laws thinking, no, hoping we could make it up there. I don't know how long I was asleep, but Dev shook me awake after what felt like only minutes. It was now completely dark outside except for the bright, blaring flood-lights in front of us.
"What is it?" I heard Sonya ask Gary as he drove slowly. At least ten cars lined up in front of us with a few people standing outside of their cars.
"Roadblock," I answered not bothering to hide the fear I felt. If we were caught in the roadblock, we'd be left to trapped. I spoke quickly. "It's the National Guard blocking anyone from leaving. Gary, we have to turn around before they stop us. They can't search the truck. We'll have to find another way.
Gary neatly executed a U-turn with a little help from the powerful engine as we went off the road a bit. I had Sonya pass me my map of the terrain again. While Dev held the flashlight, I looked for an alternate route out of the area.
"If we can just get out of the city," I mumbled to myself. "Even if it's up into the mountains, we'd be safer than sitting here like, like, I don't know, sitting somethings."
"Ducks," I could hear the small smile in Dev's voice. "Sitting ducks?"
"Yeah, exactly." I had just located a small unmarked dirt path on the map that would lead us north around the major highways. "I don't have any idea what this is, but we need to get there." Pointing to the path, I held the map out for Dev to study.
"Oh!" His face brightened. "I know this. Last year for my birthday we went here. Hey, Gary, remember my birthday last year? We went on that off-roading trail?"
"Yeah, that was a blast!" Gary tried to put an excited emphasis behind his words, but in our current situation, it wasn't surprising to hear him fail.
"It's that trail," Dev continued. "We need to get onto that trail. I think it starts where 6 and 395 meet? Somewhere around there, do you remember? Head toward there. We'll find our way North from that. It was a pretty worn dirt road. We should be able to find it."
We were all relieved to find the path, but that relief was short-lived after about five minutes on the path. It was a seriously bumpy road, no doubt about it. I was more concerned for the pile of people in the back who weren't seat-belted into comfortable seats. Gary tried to go slowly, but there were times when it didn't seem to matter. Even Butcher spent a fair amount of time launched in the air until I pulled him across our laps, holding him to us.
We drove for an hour and a half—higher and higher into the mountains surrounding Bishop until all we could see in the darkness was a faint glow of the town's lights. A dinging noise from the truck made me jump nearly as high as I'd been tossed by the last canyon-sized hole in the road.
Gary turned his head back toward us, but kept his eyes on the path. "Anyone see any gas stations around? We could use one with a car wash while we're at it." His attempt at humor was lost as the gravity of the situation once again hit us. We were going to run out of gas in the middle of nowhere.
I tried my best to think of a bright-side to share. "At least we made it pretty far from town. If we can just find somewhere to hide out, we should make it until the National Guard can clear out the town. Sonya, do you have a signal, you should call your parents and tell them where we're at."
"I did earlier while I still had a signal. They know where we're headed, and they were getting on a plane. They said they'd be back here in ten hours. It was the best they could do—they have to take several connecting flights."
"So," I started thinking out loud, "as long as the National Guard can contain the infected people in Bishop in the next ten hours, your parents will be let in, and they'll come and get us."
"We can survive ten hours no problem, right Evie?" The faith in her voice made me queasy.
I had to be strong, but Sonya's trust in my opinion made my own resolve waver briefly. As long as no one came to hunt us down, we would be fine. I had to believe that.
"Yes, we'll be fine." My voice still shook on the word "fine," leaving me to curse my inability to lie effectively. I really needed Harm to teach me how to overcome that weakness. Thinking of Harm made my heart ache. He would make everything safe again if he were here. The last short letter I had gotten from him said he would be finishing the Special Forces Survive, Evade, Resist, and Extract course late last week, which meant he'd be Special Forces by now. He wasn't due for a break until the week after next though, which is when he had planned to fly back from North Carolina to spend some time with me. The reminder that he was still on the other side of the country with no clue that I was here fighting for my life made me want to break down again. But Harm would never approve of me wasting my energy on tears in a time when my energy was far too valuable to waste.
The truck dinged again at us, so Gary pulled off the dirt road and turned off the engine. He turned his body in our direction. "We might need what's left for something. We should save it."
I couldn't fault his logic—we might need to charge Sonya's cell phone, listen to the radio for news, any number of things that the small amount of gas could come in handy for.
Dev agreed. "Good point," he said as he pushed Butcher off his lap and climbed out of the truck.
"Okay people," Dev yelled, "we're out of gas. We'll have to camp here. Hopefully, we've made it far enough away from town so that no one will notice us up here."
Everyone seemed relieved to have stopped driving and bouncing around. It was so dark outside that it was both comforting to be so far from the craziness, but also scary to be so far from civilization or what used to be civilized.
There was a short debate about whether we should actually start a fire, but eventually the issue of it being really cold with very few sleeping bags for the group—some of the families had meager supplies with them—made several small fires a necessity. We gave up the cab and camper of the truck to the families with small children, taking our sleeping bags to the ground instead. Dev and I put our sleeping bags together and huddled close just as Sonya and Gary had nearby.
Closing my eyes in an attempt to sleep seemed only to kick-start my brain all the more. I couldn't get the thought of Jay brutally murdering Samantha out of my head. It made me want to throw up again or cry or scream. I kept thinking about what circumstances would lead him to do such a thing. Finally, I just couldn't take the thoughts anymore, so I turned in Dev's arms, facing him.
"Kiss me," I whispered.
He placed a small kiss on my lips and rubbed circles on my back. While it was soothing, it did nothing to stop the onslaught of my damned healthy imagination from filling in the gruesome details of Jay slaughtering his family. I needed Dev to shut off my brain.
"No, really. Kiss me."
Before he could question me, I glued my body to his and attacked his lips. He seemed confused for a moment before finally giving in to the attack and passionately kissing me back. I found the edge of his T-shirt and slid my hands underneath. The feel of his warm skin made goose bumps pop up all over my arms. It was amazing how quickly I could get so completely wrapped up in Dev. It was like playing with matches. As soon as you get it lit, it blazes into a bright flame consuming the stick and everything in contact with it.
He held me so tightly to him that I almost told him to loosen his grip, but I didn't want to break this spell we seemed to be creating for each other. His hands found the small expanse of skin that had become exposed above the elastic of my sweats. Before I could focus on anything, his strong fingers were exploring that small secti
on of skin, gliding over it and making me never want the feeling to end. I kept waiting for his hands to move higher up my back, kept wanting him to, but he seemed to be taking his time. As quickly as I could, I reached down to tug my shirt off, but I didn't get it higher than the middle of my back before he stopped kissing me and placed his hands on top of mine, blocking my actions.
He was shaking his head when I opened my eyes. "Evie," he breathed out in one pained sigh. "What are you doing?"
Looking up into his cloudy eyes as he took small glances back at my lips, I could feel my lower lip tremble. What was I doing? Shouldn't that be pretty freaking clear? I was trying to make out with my boyfriend. Was I doing that bad a job of it that he had to ask what I was doing? I stared down at his chest and tried to pull away from him, but he just held me tighter.
"Hey now, look at me." He took both my hands in one of his large, strong hands as he nudged my chin up with the other. "Don't think I wasn't completely enjoying myself, but this isn't really the place for this. And while I totally understand you being completely obsessed with my undeniably perfect body, I don't think this is all about my irresistibleness."
I shrugged as a form of response, but he put his arm around me, squeezing me again. The combination of his strength, the warmth of his body so close to mine, and the downright scorching fire of his arms meeting my half exposed back made my brain very fuzzy—fuzzy enough to blurt out the truth without thinking about the words first. "I—I just want to feel something else. I don't want to think about them or him or what he did or any of it. I just want to hide from it all." I tried to free my hands from his, but he held tight. I stared dejectedly at his chest.
"If it makes you feel better, I'll lay here with you kissing you all night long—or until my will power runs out. But baby—" He forced me to look up at him again. "—You're gonna have to deal with it at some point."
I'd already been dealing with it. I just wanted a few moments of peace from my thoughts. Was that so much to be asking for? I closed my eyes. He was being very understanding, but I still couldn't help but be a little angry with him. It wasn't a fair response, since he was trying to protect me, but I was tired of needing to be protected from anything. I had the strongest urge to get up and just run away. I tried to push away from him and turn over, but he wouldn't let me. Tears of overreaction stung my eyes, and I knew it—I knew I was overreacting—but I felt like my emotions were so completely out of control that it wasn't worth the energy to try to stop them.
Dev's rather loud sigh barely caught my attention, but his words rang crystal clear in my confused, overemotional head.
"I am so gonna get kicked out of the guy's club for this."
My brain turned those words over in my head, but couldn't make sense of them. My body, however, completely understood the movement of Dev's arms and hands as he pulled off his shirt then started tugging on mine. My eyes darted to his in question.
His voice was deep and heavy, but so smooth. "Absolutely nothing more, do you hear me? I will not let you take advantage of me like this, twisting my emotions. And don't think you can sweet talk me to second base, cuz it's not happening—you know I'm just not that kind of guy."
When he phrased it like that—like I was trying to take advantage of him, I couldn't help but laugh a little. He always made me laugh, even in the middle of some kind of mass infection resulting in psychotic murderers chasing us. I tried to remind myself that he was infected too, and that I still didn't know how the infection was spread, but something about him and me together made me feel far too safe and right somehow to allow any worries about him to seep in. He had repeatedly done everything he could to take care of me, and even as I forced him to make out with me, I could still say the same. How could I not trust him wholeheartedly?
True to his word, his hands explored every inch of my back and some of my stomach, but not an inch further. He did kiss me until I thought I would nearly die, but when I tried to put my leg over his waist in an attempt to get even closer to him, he pushed me away, chuckling under his very shaky breath. "I think we've tested the strength of my willpower more than enough for one night."
I tried to draw his sexy, grinning mouth to kiss me again, but he wouldn't budge. He just wrapped his arms around me, kissed my forehead, and rubbed my back until I finally fell asleep wrapped entirely in his feverish, protective embrace.
I awoke the next morning with a severely frightened start as movement around me reminded my brain of where I was and what was going on. Opening my eyes though, I was only met with Gary's back to me as he relit the fire. I watched him struggle with it for a moment before flames came to life. The sun was trying to rise which meant it was still very early. The clouds darkened the sky making it clear that this would be a gloomy day, but it honestly would have felt odd for it to be a shiny, happy day under the circumstances. I tried to make myself get up, but Dev's arm was wrapped around my waist. His breath was warming the back of my neck making it far too easy to block out the world and pretend we were just on a camping trip together.
After watching Gary climb back into the sleeping bag next to Sonya—wrapping his arm around her—I rolled over to cuddle closer to Dev. My movements must have awakened him because he yawned, hugging me tighter to him.
"Mmmm, that makes two nights in a row that I've slept with you in my arms. I'm getting really spoiled by this." He kissed my forehead and smiled sleepily with his eyes still closed.
Nuzzling against his neck, savoring his warmth, I couldn't help but think what I would give to fall asleep every night in his arms. Although I couldn't hear his words, Gary's low tones were comforting, and the crackling of the fire made it feel like we were just on vacation or something.
"I know we should get up," I whispered, "but I couldn't help cuddling closer to you. I'm still trying to block out the world."
He ran his hand up and down my back. "Cuddle away, baby, I'm perfectly content to stay here with you for the rest of our lives."
"Are you asking me to marry you?"
His chest froze mid-breath, and I had to giggle. Guys were so predictable—mention getting married, and they freak out. Not that I wanted to get married either, it was just fun to push his buttons.
"I, uh, no. I'm not—you're too young, and your brother would kill me."
His discomfort made me keep giggling, but he surprised me by leaning up so that he could see into my eyes. His sudden seriousness surprised the humor out of me.
"But when you're an adult… Evie," he said slowly, "when exactly do you turn eighteen?"
Okay, it was my turn to stop breathing. Did he mean what I thought he meant? Was he seriously thinking about asking me to marry him? I gazed up into his brilliant… green eyes—green eyes? My heartbeat kicked up to warp speed and fear spread through my body. He didn't have green eyes. His eyes were blue, brilliant blue, the color of Caribbean waters, not moss, not mold, not infected, not like Raymond's, not like Jeremy's.
"Hey." He brushed the back of his hand against my cheek. "Evie, I didn't mean to scare you. I just—"
I shook my head compulsively and swallowed back the lump in my throat. "Your—your eyes, Dev, they're green. They're green."
He blinked at me several times. "Green? What do you mean?"
I rolled away from him and dug down into my bag next to me where I'd left it the night before. Pulling out a small bag with my toothbrush in it, I rummaged around until I found my mirror.
After handing it to him, I pulled on a sweatshirt and sat up. My brain ran through everything I had read and everything I had seen. I thought about Jay and whether his eyes had changed color. Jay's eyes were brown, so it would have been tougher to see the green, especially this bright unnatural green. Dev's were really noticeable. It looked like he was wearing colored contact lenses the shade of bright moss.
I tried my best to remember Jay and remember when I noticed his eyes change to green. The dance—they were green at the dance when he was psycho. Were Dev and Ted and Donald and Ki
m going to become psycho like Jay since they now shared the same unnatural eye color?
"I don't understand." Dev sounded so lost. He sat up and grabbed his hoodie from beside us before climbing out of the sleeping bag. He started to roughly pull on his shoes. "Evie look, I love you, and if this turns out to be nothing, then I'll come back, but—"
"No! I already told you once. I don't want to be without you, Dev." I grabbed onto his arm with as much strength as I could.
"Evie, I can't—" he yanked his arm free from my grasp like it was nothing, sending me flying backward.
It winded me, the strength he had, and it had only gotten worse. He didn't know how to control it. I could see the fear in his eyes even through the eerie green color, and the way he drew his eyebrows together made it look like he was in pain.
He crawled beside me instantly. "I'm so sorry, baby. I didn't mean to."
"See? There's another reason." I somehow pulled myself together enough to remain calm. I had to reason with him.
"No." The sadness on his face was heartbreaking. "It's another reason for me to leave before I hurt you."
I had to make him see reason. "Don't you see? It's already worked its way through your system, and you're not all psycho. You haven't murdered anyone or even lost your temper since the dance. It's different for you just like it's different for Donald and Ted."
I turned my eyes to where Ted, Kim, and Donald were sleeping just beyond Sonya and Gary. I had to wonder if Ted and Donald still had regular-colored eyes or if theirs were green too.
"But what if that changes? Me and Ted and Donald, we could all turn into our own psycho brigade and kill everyone. I'm not taking that chance, Evie, no matter how much I don't want to leave you."
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