“So, Mrs. McCall,” Kerri coughed, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “How many people are coming to your party?”
“About a hundred or so. We only invited family and friends.” His mother looked at his father with affection. “I would’ve been happy with just the eight of us here, but Alex wanted to celebrate in grand style.”
His father kissed her cheek. “I want to show off my still beautiful bride to all her old boyfriends.”
“Alex.” His mother blushed, playfully slapping his father. “Don’t talk such nonsense. You just wanted the chance to party.”
“Well, let’s just say I wanted a little of both,” his father conceded before planting another quick kiss.
A stabbing sense of loss gripped Cole’s chest and tightened his throat as memories of sharing similar actions with his own wife flashed through his mind.
“One thing’s for sure,” Hannah Masters spoke for the first time that night. “Both of our families could use a happy occasion. I, for one, am looking forward to this party.”
“And I’m honored to be helping Emma cook. Thank you for the opportunity,” Kerri added, her face alight with pride.
Desperate for a distraction, Cole glanced at his brother.
No help there. Connor, staring at the younger Masters sister, wore the same gut-punched expression he himself had experienced earlier. Cole almost felt sorry for him. Almost. Connor had taken way too much pleasure in his discomfort all day.
Finishing his wine, Cole considered the attraction between Kerri and his brother. It was high time Connor stopped treating every woman he met as if she had the same bad qualities as his worthless ex-fiancés. If only his thickheaded brother would take notice, he at least might find happiness and produce an heir to carry on the family name.
Cole swallowed. It certainly wouldn’t come from him. His chances had died with his wife.
Loss twisted his insides, again. Shifting in his seat, he only half heard the discussion. He blinked and refocused on the room. Thick slices of black forest cake sat in front of everyone.
Snippets of conversation returned to his ear.
When had Emma cleared the table?
“I think that would be a wonderful entrée, lets add it to the menu. Now if only Cole and Jordan would sing for us at the party, it would be a perfect night.”
His mother smiled at him.
“Give him some time to think about it. I’m sure he’ll do the right thing.” Jordan scraped the cherries off of the top of her slice with her fork.
The familiar action took him back to when she was ten and, hands on her hips, she’d explained to him how this allowed her to enjoy the chocolate by itself.
Strange how that had stuck in his mind.
Cole forced a forkful in his mouth. Emma’s black forest cake was the best in Harland County, she’d even won that distinction at the annual fair, and he usually devoured his serving. But not tonight. The day’s and evening’s events gave the confection a cardboard taste and lay like lead in the pit of his stomach.
Nauseous laughter reverberating around the room. He had to get out.
Dropping his fork, he pulled in a breath and leaned back in his chair. This was becoming the dinner from hell. He drew in another mouthful of air and made the mistake of looking up. Jordan stilled, while the others continued to talk, oblivious to his condition. Eyes full of sadness and sympathy, she gazed at him from across the table.
Torn between anger and grief, he willingly chose the former. Blood pressure shot to the ceiling and numbed his pain. Just who the hell did Jordan think she was to look at him with understanding? No one understood. No one.
Walls began to close in, sweat trickled down his temple. He swiped at it, then yanked his collar. Suffocation moments away, he had to get out of there, now. Jumping to his feet, he choked out a curt, “Good night,” then strode from the room.
He hadn’t let his family and friends pity him and wasn’t about to let the pest from his past smother him with compassion now. No matter how much they had in common.
Jordan’s heart twisted in her tight chest. She recognized the look of claustrophobia that had crossed Cole’s features until he had to bolt from the room.
Part of her wanted to follow and comfort him, and another part argued he needed to be alone. Since it was increasingly apparent he’d been left alone for far too long, she decided to go with follow.
Forcing herself to give him a two minute reprieve, she finished her chocolate cake and chewed on the scraped off topping, wondering what subject would get Cole to talk? Forget weather, sports and world news. He’d slam the door in her face. Work. Yes. Computers…software. She slid the last of the sweet cherries in her mouth. Software was a bit out of her realm but she did know video games.
Her mood brightened.
“Well, dinner and dessert was delicious as usual. My compliments to Emma,” she said. “But if you’ll excuse me, I feel the need to go bother Cole. Any idea where he went?”
“That would be his office. I’d be happy to show you.” Connor rose to his feet, then rounded the table and pulled out her chair. “Right this way, darlin’.”
“Why, thank you, cowboy.” Grasping his arm, she stood, then strode with him from the room. “I hadn’t meant to make you leave the table, Connor. You could’ve just told me which door to head for. I know my way around pretty well. I’m sure I would’ve found it.”
“Of that I have no doubt, Jordan.” He chuckled. “But I was done eating anyway and needed to get to my own office to check on a feed delivery.”
“Okay. Then I don’t feel so bad. You’re not the McCall I wanted to annoy.”
He chuckled again, but didn’t laugh as she had expected.
“I hope you know what you’re doing, Jordan. My brother doesn’t have the same sense of humor as before. In fact, the hay in the loft has more humor than Cole. He’s fresh out.”
“Don’t you think it’s high time we rectified that?” She patted his arm. “I’ve only been here a few hours and I’m already tired of Attila No Fun.”
He brought them to a halt and grinned. “Well, here’s your chance. This is his office. Holler if you need me. I’ll be just down the end of the hall.”
“Will do. Thanks.” She raised on tiptoes and kissed his handsome cheek. Damn, the man was tall. He had to be close to six-four. “Don’t work too hard.”
“Never.” He winked, then disappeared into his office.
Time to push some buttons.
She turned back to Cole’s door, squared her shoulders and knocked.
“What?”
She snickered and entered, shutting the door behind her. “You forgot, where, when, who, why, and how.”
“Jordan.” He threw his pen down on the desk and hit her with so much fury in his gaze, she nearly stumbled backward. “Is there a reason you’re here bugging me when I’m trying to work?”
She crossed the room on shaky legs and dropped into the leather chair in front of his oak desk. “You want the long list or the short list?”
“I don’t want any.” He glared. “Get out.”
“No can do, McCall. That’s not on my list.”
“Jordan.” He pushed back from the desk. “So help me, if you don’t—”
“Wow. Did you know the vein in your neck bulges when you’re angry? You should do something about that.” She shook her head and clasped her hands in an attempt to hide her trembling fingers.
He closed his eyes and sucked in a long breath.
“That’s better. Deep cleansing breaths.”
His eyes snapped open. “You’re still here?”
She laughed. “Yes. You can’t will me away, Cole. You know that.”
“Damn nuisance.” He straightened in his seat, folded his hands on the desk and looked her in the eye. “What do I have to do to get you to leave?”
“Just talk.”
“Good. We did, now go.” He turned dismissively back to his computer monitor.
“No,
I mean talk about you.” She crossed her legs and straightened her blouse.
“Sorry, sweetheart. That’s not what you said. Now, kindly get the hell out of my office so I can get back to work.”
No way. With her heart hammering out of control, she leaned closer. “Are you working on a game?”
“No.” He leaned closer, too. “It’s a photo’s program. Can I please get back to it now?”
“Soon, but first I wanted to tell you I was sorry about Bess.”
Okay, that came out clumsy.
Still, she’d expect him to react with sadness, grief, pain, even anger, but the unbridled fury reddening his face was bad. Very bad.
“For the love of Texas! Go!” He shot to his feet, rounded the desk and glowered down at her.
Holy cow.
She rose and ordered her body to remain steady despite the murderous look in his eyes. Chest to chest, she stared up at him, refusing to show fear. “Look, Cole. I just want you to know I’m here if you need to talk.”
Tight lips and flared nostrils relayed his rage while the rapid, single blink of his eyes gave away his unease.
If he was uncomfortable with her being so close, why didn’t he step back? What was she saying? That would force him to show weakness and heaven forbid the mighty Cole McCall should act human.
“I don’t want to talk,” he ground out through clenched teeth.
“Well, you know where to find me if you do,” she said, ignoring the warning voice in her head. “I can help with Bess—”
“I don’t need help with Bess! I need help with my program. So get the hell out of here, Jordan! Now!” Fisted knuckles cracked at his sides.
Sorrow, painful and deep, funneled into her heart. My God, he was a mess. She had to convey some warmth to him.
Taking her life in her hands, she touched his arm. “I hate to see you like this, Cole. Just remember I have a good ear.”
“Fine. Duly noted.” Strong fingers clamped tightly around her wrist and pulled her to the door. “Now, kindly leave and take your good ear with you.”
She snorted into a laugh. “You made a joke, Cole. Good for you.”
“Yeah, hurray for me. Now, leave.”
She sandwiched his hand between hers and squeezed. Let me in, she willed, staring into his cold gaze, hoping some of her compassion reached past the dark pit where he dwelled.
“Please, I can help you…” Her voice trailed off, leaving the ball in his court.
He volleyed. “I’m fine. Now leave me the hell alone.” Yanking free, he glowered before throwing the door open. “Good night, Jordan.”
What he’d really meant was good riddance.
She smiled. Too bad. The devil inside made her stand tall, lean in and place a noisy, wet kiss on his taut cheek. “Night, McCall.”
Chapter Four
Daylight found Cole wide-awake. He’d slept fitfully. Again. When he eventually did fall asleep. Once that pesky Jordan removed herself from his office, he’d managed to calm down, burying himself in codes until the middle of the night.
Now, once again, the need to escape consumed him. It was still the weekend. He’d be expected to entertain and couldn’t very well stay in his room all day. Although, that was exactly what he’d love to do. Drapes drawn, lights out, the perfect atmosphere for his mood. Visiting with the Masters, or anyone for that matter, was not a fun prospect.
There had to be some way out of it that wouldn’t reflect bad on his parents.
He ran a list of chores through his mind and stopped at the thought of the fence in the unused pasture running along the southern border of the ranch. He tossed the covers aside and sprang out of bed. Connor had mentioned last week’s spring storm had damaged that area. Today was a good day for Cole to tend to the mess.
Twenty minutes later, on his way out through the kitchen, he filled a thermos with coffee, grabbed the piping hot breakfast bagel Emma pushed at him, then headed for the barn.
Halfway there, he turned and looked up at the balcony. Maybe he was paranoid but he couldn’t break the old habit. It was as if he was fifteen again, trying to sneak out without his twelve-year-old shadow catching him. He never seemed to succeed.
A smile tugged his mouth. No matter what he did, she always spotted him.
Balcony vacant of the twenty-seven-year-old updated version of his shadow, Cole congratulated himself for effectively avoiding the Jordan-virus and entered the stable.
“Just where do you think you’re going, Cole McCall?”
The smell of hay and horses hung in the air as Jordan stood just inside the stable doors, waiting for Cole to answer. In the habit of getting up early to let her dog out, she was an early riser and happened to overhear Emma talking to Cole. On impulse, she slipped unnoticed out the front door to surprise him.
Judging by his slack-jawed expression, she’d succeeded.
“I said, where do you think you’re going?”
He blinked. “Not that it’s any of your business but I’m going to mend fences.”
Gaze frosting, he brushed past her to his horse. She sighed. His mood hadn’t improved since last night.
“Can’t it wait till after Sunday Services?” She followed him into the stall, unwilling to give up. Her mouth dried at his effortless act of slinging the saddle onto his mount. Talk about instant dehydration. That had to weigh…
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Jordan,” he growled.
“Cole,” she mimicked his tone and fastened her gaze to the play of muscles under his thin T-shirt as he secured the saddle and bridle. Damn. She swallowed. And to think she’d thought the teenage Cole had had the perfect body.
Wrong.
Without answering, he shoved several water bottles into the saddlebag, then swung onto the horse.
That wouldn’t do.
She crossed her arms over her chest and nodded. “Mending fences is good. As a matter of fact, there are several I think you need to mend.”
His face darkened. “Back off, Jordan.”
“No.”
He grumbled a curse. “Move away from the stall door or I’ll plow right through you. I swear it.”
Defiance stiffened her spine. She placed her hands on her hips and lifted a brow. “Who’s gonna make me?”
“Oh, for goodness sakes, Jordan, grow up!” He glared down at her.
“And you need to lighten up, Cole.”
Scowling, he spurred his horse forward and gave her no choice but to jump out of the way.
“Quit sticking your nose in my business,” he ordered, ducking under the doorframe as he passed. “Go back to California and leave me the hell alone.”
“Not on your life, McCall. You’re my friend and I’m not giving up on you,” she called after him.
Back stiff, he galloped out of sight.
He’s worse off than I thought.
Releasing repressed tears, she leaned against the doorway. He couldn’t even see the humor in her words. Instead of laughing he’d lashed out. She wiped her face. His actions only managed to firm her resolve. She wasn’t going to back off. She was going to help him...and dammit, she was going to succeed.
Having donned a bikini underneath her jeans and T-shirt, Jordan crossed the driveway after Sunday Service and brunch, eager to get to the stable to start her picnic with Kerri. It had been so long. She could hardly wait.
About to ask her flushed sister if she was feeling alright, the reason for Kerri’s rosy cheeks soon came into view. Sporting dimples, a tan Stetson and cowboy boots, the Marlboro man led two saddled horses their way.
“This is Cinnamon and this one’s Ember,” Connor informed, handing over the reins of a pair of chestnut mares. “There’s no need to tie them while you have your picnic. They’ll just graze nearby.”
“Great. Thanks, Connor.” She stroked Ember’s neck. Coppers, browns and reds shimmered under her fingers. What a perfect name.
“Are you sure you girls will be okay? Do you remember
your way around? Maybe I should go with you?” The cowboy frowned towards Kerri.
Jordan looked at her sister and raised her brows. Did Kerri want to spend time with Connor? Deciding to leave it up to her, Jordan remained quiet and busied herself with storing the day’s necessities in her saddlebag.
“No!” Kerri cleared her pink throat. “I…I mean, no thank you, Connor. We’ll be fine. Jordan and I remember everything.”
We sure do. She fought a grin as the image of two naked, brazen McCalls streaked through her mind. Things were so much simpler back then. Everyone was carefree. Even her sister.
Jordan’s gaze lifted to a crimson-faced Kerri. Come to think of it, her sister had always been a little sweet on the cowboy, although it had never been public knowledge like Jordan’s youthful crush on Cole.
“Well, w-we don’t remember everything. I mean we don’t need anyone. Thanks anyway.” Kerri’s pleading gaze swiveled her way.
Time to intervene. “Yeah. We’ll be fine, Connor. This place is embedded in our minds,” Jordan reassured him. “You go ahead and do what you have to do.”
“Okay. If you’re sure. I’ll go give Cole a hand.”
“We’re sure. Oh, and Connor”—Jordan paused as she swung up onto the mare—“tell Cole he can run but he can’t hide.”
Smiling, she trotted the horse out of the stable next to Kerri on Cinnamon.
“I’ll be sure to do that, Jordan. I’ll be sure to do that.” Connor’s chuckles followed them into the pasture.
Galloping through fields, heavy with the beautiful state flower and its fiery counterpart, Jordan’s eyes’ delighted at the sight. Blue bonnets grew everywhere and were a soothing contrast to the Indian blankets found alongside. The red wildflowers with yellow tipped petals brightened up the scenery and together they were simply breathtaking.
Cole used to claim Kerri was the Blue Bonnets and she was the Indian Blankets. Her heart sighed. Would he ever find his way back to that state of mind?
Loaming on the horizon, the infamous swimming hole caught her attention. Jordan’s heavy thoughts lifted. She met Kerri’s glance. They burst out laughing and urged their horses on.
Her Fated Cowboy (Harland County Series) Page 5
