A set of headlights suddenly appeared in front of him.
His heart rocked hard in his chest. Where the hell did that come from? He tried the air brakes. Nothing. Reaching for the shift to down-shift, he found air. That’s gone, too. The truck picked up speed and headed straight for the car.
“Get out of the way! I can’t stop!”
Heart in his throat, he jerked the wheel—hard. Tires screeched. A sickening crash and crunching filled his ears.
In the next second, the computer rain had stopped. Everything stilled. Cole opened the door and, stumbled outside, pulse hammering at the sight of a smashed up car lying in a mangled heap against a tree. He raced across the deserted road—weaving his way around the computers, pitchforks, flash drives and CD’s. He reached the driver’s side and gasped.
“Jordan! Oh God! I have to get you out of there. Jordan? Talk to me. Are you alright? Please talk to me!”
“I’m alright, Cole,” she miraculously proclaimed.
“Thank God.” His eyes closed momentarily. “I have to get you out. I’m sorry. I couldn’t stop the truck. I’m so sorry, Jordan.” Tears burned his eyes as he pushed her blood soaked hair from her face. “It’ll be okay. I’ll get you out.”
Her lips twitched. “I know you will, Cole. I’ll be fine but the door won’t budge.”
“I’ll take care of it. There’s a crow bar in the truck. I’ll be right back.”
“Okay. I know you won’t let me down. You sure do pack a punch, though.” She smiled weakly. “I knew you’d come to me. It was worth the wait.”
“I’ll be right back. Hang in there.” He leaned in through the broken window to gently kiss her cheek before racing across the street.
Back at the truck, he thrust the seat forward, and as his fingers curled around the cold metal of the crow bar an explosion rocked him hard from behind.
Jordan!
Swiveling around, he dropped the bar, and watched helplessly as the car burned out of control—with Jordan still inside.
No! Jordan! Please, God no!
Vaulting upright in bed with such force, Cole knocked the alarm clock off the nightstand and joined his comforter on the floor. Oh God…Intense pain ripped through his heart and shredded in all directions. Not again. Not again. Ramming his face in his hands, hot tears burned behind his eyes. God, he couldn’t go through that again. Not with her. Not with Jordan.
He’d known her since she was born. Cared about her since she was born. And, although they only had three dates, he was definitely falling for the incredible woman. Hard. She made him feel things he never felt before, not even with his wife.
The unrelenting grip of guilt didn’t seize him, so he continued to assess his feelings for Jordan.
Recalling the way her body melted against his as they made love had him growing hard. She was now truly imprinted on his soul. The fact she had invaded his nightmare was proof. He hadn’t had the damn dream in months. Now it was back.
With Jordan as his victim.
Another wave of intense pain ripped through him. He gripped his stomach. I can’t do this again. He couldn’t handle the thought of loving, then losing Jordan the way he’d lost Bess. He couldn’t live with himself if he caused her death, too. And now he was beginning to wonder if he could deal with her profession. Being a cop put her in danger’s path every day. He leaned back against the bed and swallowed. With a deep ache in his heart, he started to realize what all of this meant.
He had to end this relationship before it went any further.
Dragging a shaky hand down his face, he thought hard. He was so tired of the hurt. So tired. It had been his constant companion for years. He slammed his head into his fists and prayed for strength. How did he give up her laughter, teasing, challenges...kisses?
You will if you want her to live.
That woman would do anything for him. Wouldn’t hesitate to put herself in harm’s way for him. He knew this to be true, his heart knew without a doubt, but instead of rejoicing, it ached. The image from his dream of her face, bloodied and in pain, shot through his mind. Deep anguish squeezed his chest and choked the air from his lungs. He coughed repeatedly.
“I’m sorry, Jordan. I can’t do this again.”
With a heavy heart, he pulled on some clothes, grabbed an unopened bottle of whiskey and drove to his office.
Chapter Fourteen
Jordan awoke the next morning content and deliciously sore. She’d slept wonderfully again. Since the start of this trip, her slumber had been uninterrupted…once she’d fallen asleep of course. She smiled, reaching for the pillow Cole had lain on two nights ago. For the first time in a long time, she was incredibly happy to be alive. Images of last night flooded her mind. Her smiled widened and she stretched out in bed.
Cole.
Making love near the tree, their tree, had really been a fantasy come true. She’d fantasized about that moment for over a decade. Up until that point, sex with Cole had been mind-blowing, but last night? Last night she’d truly felt his heart. He’d opened up and shared, and so had she, and that was what made last night so special. It wasn’t just the coming together of their bodies. It was the coming together of their hearts and souls, too.
Cripes, she sounded like a greeting card. But it was true.
Gripped with an intense need to see him, she looked at the clock on the bedside table. Six AM. She smiled and hopped out of bed. It was early enough to catch him before he went to work. If he was going in. Who knew what time his cattle-roundup had ended. Her stomach instantly knotted and she chewed her lower lip. Hopefully, everything had gone well.
She washed up, yanked on some clothes and raced downstairs to the kitchen. Disappointment rippled in waves as Emma told her he’d left even before she arose.
Left? Did he even get any sleep?
“Since you’re here, how about some chocolate chip pancakes?” Emma smiled, wiping her hands in her apron.
“Sounds good.” Jordan grinned, hoping the unease fluttering in her stomach was just hunger.
Sitting at the table, she contemplated her disquiet. A sense of urgency settled over her like a blanket.
Something was wrong. But what?
“Thanks for the picnic meal you made for us, Emma.” She grabbed onto the happy memory, letting it warm the chill her insides had taken.
“Oh, my goodness. You’re welcome, my dear.” The woman smiled, placing a tall glass of orange juice in front of her. “To be truthful, I’m surprised you’re up this early.”
“I was hoping to catch Cole before he went to work,” she admitted, keeping her voice light.
He’d given her the impression yesterday that he was going to take the day off. The fact he went to work, and earlier than normal, just didn’t feel right.
“He must’ve gone to work very early,” Emma confirmed her thoughts. “I found a note telling me not to worry about making him breakfast.”
Maybe he went in early so he could leave early.
Her apprehension lightened along with her mood as Emma placed a small stack of warm, chocolate smelling, pancakes in front of her.
Feeling better, she dug into her breakfast, deciding it was best if she didn’t dwell on Cole. Her impatience could cause her to jump to the wrong conclusion. Her parents’ party was in three days; she had enough work to deal with to keep her busy, until he came home.
Kerri and Emma had the catering covered. She had an appointment with the florist to double-check details and okay the centerpieces before her second appointment with the set up crew. Her errands could keep her occupied all day. Best to keep Cole simmering in the background and concentrate on the party.
What difference could a few hours make?
By dinner that night, Jordan’s heart sank lower than all the oil in Texas. No sign of Cole. Oh, he’d called—left a nice, simple message for his mother that he wouldn’t be home for dinner because he was working late on a project. Never asked for her, though. Why should he? Just because they’d s
hared several mind blowing days this week, not to mention their special time last night? Tears burned hot in her throat. She knew what he was doing…
Avoiding her.
With no appetite and a pounding head, she excused herself halfway through the main course and went upstairs. This isn’t happening. She paced her large, lonely room. Three-hundred and two footsteps separated the walls.
What was wrong? Why was Cole doing this?
Her chest tightened. She couldn’t breathe.
After they’d made love last night, she was his, heart, body and soul and he’d given himself to her in the same way. Their connection had strengthened. Hadn’t it?
She stopped pacing and clenched her fists.
“Why are you doing this, Cole?”
She needed answers. Having left a few messages for him throughout the day, his silence tore at her heart. The longer he stayed away the clearer things became. Cole was backing out.
Why? What happened? What scared him off?
Dread filled her soul. She had to see him. Short of sitting on his bed to wait for him, she only had one other choice. Stakeout the balcony. Deciding it would be best to wait until the house quieted down for the night, she noted the time and sighed. She had a few hours to kill.
The option of driving to his office had crossed her mind…several times that day. She’d even gotten as far as the interstate but had turned around. Unlike in the Spring, she wasn’t in a teasing mood and needed to keep this confrontation private.
When walking didn’t help, she plopped onto her bed and rubbed her throbbing temples. She wished Bullet was there. His love and affection were needed and missed. Big time. Sun sliced through the crack in her curtains and cast an orange glow into the room as it slipped from the horizon. Her mind drifted to yesterday’s sunset...when Cole had given her a glimpse of paradise.
She wouldn’t giving up on him without a fight.
He owed her an explanation and she intended to get one.
At eleven o’clock sharp, she stepped onto the balcony, quietly passed Kerri’s door, then settled in a chair near Cole’s room to begin her vigil.
A warm breeze blew strands of hair in her face, but she remained cold to the core. Hugging herself, she fought the reoccurring stinging behind her eyes.
Two hours later, too jittery to sit anymore, she paced the balcony, stopping short when she heard Cole’s car. Finally. A few nerve-racking minutes later, the light came on in his room. Chest tight, stomach fluttering, she was halfway to his door when it opened.
He stepped outside and stiffened. “Jordan.”
“Yes, it’s me—unless I’m not the only one you’re avoiding. What’s going on?” She hurried to him and touched his arm. “You never returned one call today.”
He tugged from her grasp. “I had work to do.”
Her heart sank. “Don’t give me that. When I woke up today, my first thought was to find you. Your first thought, on the other hand, was to run. Why? What’s going on?”
His jaw twitched. He looked exhausted. Tie and jacket missing, his shirt was half unbuttoned and eyes bloodshot. He hadn’t sleep last night. Why? She had. Like a log. Satiated and spent. Why hadn’t he? Unable to fight her need to erase his worry, she stepped to him and touched his face. He jerked back.
She winced. “Cole, talk to me. Please!”
He wandered to the railing and stared at the yard without a word. Her throat burned, but she refused to give into her emotions until he explained himself. She deserved at least that much. His hand tunneled through his hair and down to grip the back of his neck before he slowly expelled a breath.
“You’re right Jordan. I owe you an explanation.” His voice held no emotion as he faced her. “I had time to think about what’s happening between us and I think it was a big mistake.”
“What?” Heart cracked and bleeding, she rocked back. “You can’t possibly mean that, Cole?”
“I do mean it, Jordan. I’m sorry. I never should have started anything with you. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking! You have a settled life several states away. It was dumb. It was a mistake,” he repeated sternly.
Almost doubled over with pain, she gripped the back of a chair, a lone tear escaping from her burning eyes. How could his lips say that? Lips that had devoured hers and trailed hot kisses over her skin, called her beautiful and couldn’t get enough of her…
This is crazy. I won’t accept this.
She strode to him but kept her hands to herself. “I know you felt the same things I did. This doesn’t make sense.”
“Look Jordan, I can’t take back what already happened but I can nip it in the bud and that’s what I’m trying to do.” He stared down at her, pity and guilt darkening his gaze.
“You’re scared, Cole.” She pounded her chest. “Don’t you think I’m scared too?”
Pain entered his eyes. Finally, tangible proof she wasn’t the only one hurting. He opened his mouth, then clamp it shut.
What she wouldn’t give for him to voice the battle going on in his head. Damn, stubborn Texan. Her childhood friend, Cole McCall, was fading away—right in front of her. She had to do something…but what?
Stoic and quiet, he rubbed the ring finger on his left hand and suddenly she knew. That crap about her living in another state was just that—bullshit. This was about him being scared. Of her getting hurt. Dammit! If only she hadn’t fallen from that damn horse last night. She stepped closer, needing to make him see he wasn’t the only one afraid.
“Cole, the mere thought of something happening to you kills me.” She touched his cheek. “But going through life without at least giving us a chance, is just as bad. Don’t you see that?”
Fear and intense pain consumed his expression. She thought she had gotten through to him, until his blank mask fell into place.
“Then you’re far stronger than I am Jordan, because I can’t take a chance like that again. I won’t.” He pushed past and stalked to his door. “I’m trying to make this as painless as possible for both of us. Just let me be.”
“I can’t,” she choked.
“You have to.”
He turned at the door. She followed, until he held up a hand to halt her approach.
“You’ll be back in California in a few days. Just forget what happened between us and go on with your life as before. You don’t need me in it and I don’t need you in mine.”
Pain squeezed her chest, tight. Drawing on it, her hand shot out to grasp a fistful of shirt and twist hard before thrusting him backward against the house, forearm pressed firmly under his chin. “Now you listen to me, Cole. You keep telling yourself that and maybe you just might believe it. But I don’t. I know better. And if you think that all of this”—she waved a hand between them—“will disappear when I go back to California, then you’re sadly mistaken. These feelings we share are embedded in our hearts and our souls.” She poked his chest and forehead, emphasizing her words.
“Are you done?” he asked quietly, without moving.
“No, I’m not. You think I’m just ranting don’t you, but I know how this works, Cole because I tried to forget you when I moved away but I couldn’t. Just before my junior year in college I flew to Houston...to you.”
His head jerked to the side. “You did?”
“Yes. I didn’t tell anyone. Saved my life-guarding money, bought a ticket and flew to see Cole McCall.”
He shook his head. “But I never saw you.”
“You’re right, you didn’t.” She released him and stepped back, wrapping her arms around her middle. “I was about to cross the street to McCall Enterprises when I saw a beautiful blonde run into your arms.”
“Bess...” His eyes widened. “I remember that day,” he said quietly. “I thought I felt…”
His voice trailed off and her eyes closed then opened as she drew in a ragged breath.
“Yeah, well, doesn’t matter. I didn’t stick around. I heard fate laughing so I got on the next plane and licked my woun
ds.”
“Then do that now.” His chin lifted. “You did it once, you can do it again.”
“Are you crazy?” She gave a mirthless laugh, jammed her hands on her hips, and frowned until it hurt. “You think…after what we shared this week…last night, that I could ever recover? Cole, no amount of time can heal me now.”
“Then find something else. We’re done.” He turned to leave.
“Oh, no you don’t. I’m not done, McCall. I have one more thing to say.” Surprising him, she pinned his hands against the house and brushed her lips to his.
Current coursed between them, heated and fierce. She felt a change in his body. He came alive, and to her immense satisfaction, he crushed her to him, taking control of the kiss. Hot lips devoured and demanded—urgent, rougher than normal. She responded in kind, rejoicing in the desire she induced in him.
A moment later, he stiffened, and thrusting her aside, he strode to his door.
Her hand shot to the wall to keep from falling. “Tell me, Cole, how are you going to forget that?”
He gripped the door handle and turned to her. “It doesn’t matter. I will do it.”
Without another word or glance, he stepped inside and the click of his lock resounded like gunfire from her piece in her safe at home.
Home…
For a little while this week, she’d entertained thoughts of possibly transferring to Harland County, or at the very least, Houston.
Rapidly turning numb, Jordan stood there for several minutes, stucco pressed into her cheek. Hot tears emptied her soul as her heart up and died.
Megan and Shawn, with Bullet in tow, weren’t due in until around six. It was Friday, the day before the party. With things set up as far as they could be for the day, Jordan had nothing on her agenda until they arrived. Tired of putting up a front, she opted for a light lunch and a horseback ride. It would be good to be alone.
An hour later, Ember halted and Jordan found herself staring at the J + C carved in the tree overlooking the ocean. How did I end up here? She blinked and dismounted. Guess her heart needed to be where it was happiest. As thoughts of the last time she was here began to invade her mind, tears streamed down her face.
Her Fated Cowboy (Harland County Series) Page 21
