by David Rogers
“Or we have to fight.” she said when he fell silent.
“Or we fight.” he agreed. “But let’s give it at least until morning.”
“Not too much past morning though.” Jessica said unhappily. “Maybe if I’d thought to grab my backpack, but since it’s still in the damn wreck with the rest of our stuff, sometime tomorrow we’re going to have to figure something out.”
“Relax.” Austin said calmly.
“Austin, we don’t have any water.”
“Deep breath.”
“Yesterday was pretty warm.” she said, struggling to keep her voice from rising in frustration and fear. “I mean, that’s the reason we’re headed south, but it had to be near eighty. It’s only just now cooling down as it is.”
“Jessica.”
“When the sun comes up,” she went on, ignoring his attempts to break in, “it’s going to heat back up in here. When it does, without water, we’re going to have a problem.”
“Jessica.”
“We can’t just sit in here for a couple of days waiting for rescue.” she said.
“Jessica!” he said sharply but quietly, pushing himself to a sitting position with a wince as his abused and tender innards protested.
“This is my fault.” she said miserably.
Reaching out, Austin seized hold of her arms just above the wrists and shook them several times. “Stop it.”
“All we had to do was stay in Georgia, stay in the quiet areas, and none of this would be happening.”
Austin abruptly pulled her toward him. Her butt had slid along the rafter and was on the shelving boards he’d arranged before she realized what was happening. He crossed his arms, which crossed hers too since he still had a firm grip on them, and pulled her in close. It wasn’t a hug – their arms were between them – but she had little choice but to be held face to face with him. He was far stronger, plus she didn’t want to create noise by trying to fight uselessly.
Or worse, end up falling off the rafters and going right through the ceiling. Even if there weren’t any zombies down there, she couldn’t imagine a sudden seven or eight foot fall would do her a single bit of good.
“Jessica.” he said very quietly. “Take a breath.”
“Austin—” she began, but he cut her off by leaning his head in very close to hers. Very close. Their foreheads touched, and she could feel his breath on her face. He rearranged his arms; shifting the right to encircle her waist so she had to stay, while his left hand came up so he could lay two fingers across her lips for a moment.
“Take. A. Breath.” he said again.
Jessica looked into his coal black eyes. They were locked on hers, and even from a distance of only an inch or so, seemed almost depthless, like nothing could ever push them past any limit of what they could hold. She grabbed at the steady resolve she saw there and closed hers. Slowly, she drew a deep breath, filling her lungs and letting the inrush of air start chasing away the swirl of panic and doubt and uncertainty within her.
“Let it out, then try another on for size.” Austin said quietly, his words puffing air gently against her skin. She was reminded of how reassuring she’d always found his presence– feeling his forehead against hers, his arm around her waist – and complied. She exhaled steadily, letting the air spill out of her in an extended outrush, then breathed in even more slowly. The fresh air filled her a second time almost of its own accord, chasing away the last bits of panic that were still hanging around.
“Better?”
“Better.” she said, opening her eyes.
He leaned back and relaxed his grip on her waist. “We’ll figure it out. That’s what we do, what we’ve been doing, and what we’ll keep doing.”
“Sorry.” she said, suddenly embarrassed. By her outburst and hysterics, by her needing him to step in so physically to calm her, and – in a rush that surprised her when she realized it – by the thought that she hadn’t bathed in two days, nor brushed her teeth in nearly fifteen hours. Or even her hair, for that matter, which she was suddenly hyper aware of in its loose tail with strands and locks that had escaped the band to hang about her face and shoulders.
“Sorry.” she said again, sitting back some. She wanted to reach up to do something about fixing her hair, but that just made her think of how she also hadn’t thought to reapply any deodorant this morning. Which, she reflected, she definitely should’ve done if she was going to skip even the little bit of cleaning a washcloth rubdown could provide.
“It happens.” he said calmly. “Even to me.”
Jessica caught herself just in time, once again heading off the impulse to laugh and turning it instead into a silent smile. “No way.”
“Yes way.” he disagreed. “My second detached patrol as squad leader, me and my guys were pulling security in an urban area. I was such a busy-body, checking up and asking about every little detail over and over, my lead E-5 finally pulled me aside and asked what was wrong.”
“Sometimes it sucks being in charge.” Jessica said with a sigh.
“Yes, it does.” he agreed. “And believe you me, as many times as I had when I wanted to lay my CO out for being such a moron, there were more where I was glad as hell to have him there to make the decisions. Even if I didn’t like the ones he made, sometimes it was better to let him make them instead of having to figure shit out on my own.”
Jessica sighed again. “I just . . . okay, you’re right.” While it had been something of a point of amusement for Austin, she had put her foot down after Knoxville and decided she was through following. Sitting around waiting for . . . she didn’t even know what now . . . in Atlanta had come this close to getting her and Candice killed. Then following the Morrises down to Knoxville had come just as close to getting her and Candice . . . well, she wasn’t sure exactly what would have happened, but death might have been on the mild side for what could have been in store if the two of them had stuck around at the Eagle facility.
But this was the other side of being in charge. Refusing to follow meant she had to lead. And when life was on the line, she was finding those decisions came hard. And came back even harder. The little voices of doubt and uncertainty and worry were constantly in her head, challenging and confronting the path she chose.
It was one thing to wonder if maybe not doing a little more scavenging, or checking a few more houses, or maybe looking a little harder for extra containers or whatever would have been a better choice. That could cost her a few minutes of sleep some times.
But being stranded, on foot, treed in the crawlspace of a sweaty house by zombies, lacking even basic supplies to make standing a siege feasible, wondering if Candice was going to be any calmer when morning came . . . that was all driving her half-crazy.
“I’m sorry.” she said again.
“Relax.” he repeated. “We’re going to get out of this.”
“Got any suggestions?”
“Sleep, for starters.” Austin said. “It’s been a long day, with a lot of stress and activity. So I’m going to stretch back out on these boards, and you’re going to go join Candice on the boxes over there, and we’ll both get some sleep.”
“Sounds like a good start.”
“Yup.” he nodded. “And tomorrow, we’ll wake up and take a good look at what we’re facing. We’ll make some decisions, and then do the best we can. But one way or another, you’re going to get through this.”
Jessica nodded. “You’re right.”
“Finally.” he grinned. “Now rest. Tomorrow’s going to be a big day.”
Jessica nodded again and crept carefully back across the rafters to Candice. The girl hardly stirred as Jessica slid herself onto the boxes next to her daughter.
It wasn’t until Jessica was laying there next to Candice, feeling and drawing reassurance from the ten-year-old’s steady breathing, that she realized Austin had said “You’ll get through this.”
“What about us?” she wondered as she lay there, trying to force herself to drop o
ff into sleep.
* * * * *
Sun on her face was what made Jessica open her eyes. No, not entirely. The light had helped, but what had brought her far enough toward consciousness for the light to work had been the heat. The attic was warm, even after the hours of cooler overnight, of no sunlight heating up the roof and house, and thus the air within. Now that the sun was back up, things were getting uncomfortable. She was already sweating.
Raising her head sleepily, Jessica first checked around the attic. The hatch was closed, the stepladder folded up into a thick bundle on top of it. Candice was right next to her, still asleep. The girl lay a few inches from her mother, no doubt a restless attempt to get away from the body heat. And Austin was still on his shelves nearer the trapdoor hatch, his chest rising and falling steadily as he lay on his back.
He’d been right, as usual; the sleep had helped her mental state. Sleeping on the rafter supported boxes wasn’t the most comfortable spot she’d ever slept in – by a long stretch – but the rest had helped physically as well as mentally. She was a little stiff and sore, but felt ready to tackle the issue of getting away from the zombie infested area.
And, as she’d decided in her less panic-edged state, that would have to be soon. She was thirsty. Jessica didn’t want to think about how long it had been since she’d had a drink. A long time. Perversely though, she had a strong need to pee. Her bladder was full despite the cotton lining her mouth and throat, and that was another problem.
Jessica listened carefully, straining her ears toward anything going on beneath her. The silence was oppressive. She’d gotten used to that; power was out everywhere, and the last real news she’d heard back in Knoxville had indicated somewhere between half and three-fourths of the population, of seemingly everything, was dead. Or undead. Combined, it made for a suddenly very quiet nation. Few cars driving around, no hums of transformers or air conditioners, no radios or televisions blasting away, no airplanes overhead.
But she also didn’t hear any zombies.
She sat up, then startled as Austin did too. He was blinking sleep from his eyes, and his hand was on the holstered pistol on his belt, but he was awake. They stared at each other for a moment, then he smiled slightly. “Sorry. Morning.”
“How are you feeling?” she asked quietly, matching his low tone.
“Sore. Thirsty.” he replied, shifting carefully to a full sitting position to ease the strain on his midsection.
“It sounds quiet down there.” Jessica said, gesturing toward the floor.
“Yeah, but I bet there are still probably some stuck in the house.” he sighed. “And getting out of here past them could be tricky.”
“We can’t . . . oh, right.” Jessica began, her hand drifting to the Taurus, then she frowned and nodded reluctantly. Lots of noise would start attracting the zombies again. She had no idea what had happened around here during, or since, the outbreaks to have caused so many zombies to stack up and swarm like they had yesterday; but it was a painfully academic reason that didn’t matter. At all.
However it had occurred, there were a lot of zombies nearby. Bad luck had landed she and Candice and Austin smack in the middle of them; and they couldn’t squat in here forever. The attic was already uncomfortable; by noon it could be hot enough to be dangerous if they didn’t have water. Food was a problem that could hold off for at least another day or two if it came to it; but water, especially under the Florida sun, wasn’t negotiable.
Her prior panic over the situation didn’t invalidate the conclusion; staying up here would kill them as certainly as getting caught by zombies.
“Are you up to some running if it comes to it?” she asked him.
“Some, but not much.” he admitted, feeling his left side, at the healing bullet wounds. The last time she’d seen them, they’d looked a lot better, but she knew a lot of healing had to happen to knit all of the tissue back together within him. Two holes clean through from front to back did not mend swiftly. “I don’t think I pulled anything loose, but I definitely strained something that hurts.”
“If we can get out and clear of any immediate threats, the rest of it should just be regular walking. Maybe a little power walking. But you saw how many are in the area.”
“Right.” Austin said, moving carefully and shifting around on his hands and knees. He winced, and moved slowly in deference to the discomfort, but still with most of the customary grace she’d come to expect from him, as he made his way across the rafters to the rest of the shelving wall rods. Picking one up, he examined it experimentally.
“I think I can convert these into something usable as a weapon.”
“Hand to hand?” Jessica asked, wincing herself.
“Quieter than a gunshot, and easier on the ammo too.” he shrugged, reaching into one of his pouches and extracting a roll of black tape.
“Great.”
“Wake Candice up so she can shake the sleep off. We need to keep from using the guns unless we’re out of options.” he told her as he started picking up more of the shelf mounting pieces. “Shots could put us right back where we were yesterday; pulling a horde down on us from all directions.”
Jessica nodded as he got to work. She put her hand on Candice’s shoulder and shook once, then had to clap a hand over the girl’s mouth quickly as she startled.
“What’s wrong?” Candice cried out, muffled just in time by Jessica’s hand.
“Shhhhh, quiet.” Jessica whispered urgently. “It’s me, it’s mom. Quiet.”
“What’s wrong?” Candice repeated, lowering her voice to a barely audible whisper as she stared wildly around at the attic.
“We’re okay for now. We’re going to try and sneak out of here.”
“I’m thirsty. I have to go to the bathroom.”
Jessica sighed, not in exasperation, but just from unhappiness. There was no water. That seemingly simplest of things, she couldn’t provide for her child. And Jessica had to go too. That had come up last night though. They’d designated the far side of the attic, over next to the other window, as the bathroom spot. The smell was barely noticeable, but that was probably because it had all dried overnight.
“We still don’t have any water; that’s why we’re going to try and move soon. And we’re going to have to pee on the floor again too.” Jessica said calmly.
“Ick.” Candice said, her voice unhappy.
“Nothing for it Candy Bear.” Jessica replied, trying to brace Candice up. “Come on, you want to be running from zombies with me and pee your pants?”
“No.”
“Okay then, so you go over there and do what you need to. And be careful; remember, stay on the boards, not the floor.”
“I remember.” Candice nodded reluctantly. “The floor can’t hold us.”
“Right.” Jessica nodded back. “Come on, get going.”
Jessica helped the girl shift onto her hands and knees, then watched as Candice started crab walking across the rafters. After seeing that the girl was staying off the plasterboard, Jessica slid the flattened boxes aside and picked up the shelving rods before making her way over to Austin.
“Bathroom?” he asked without looking away from what he was doing. He was busy turning a handful of the shelf rods into a big bundled metal stick, using the tape to bind them together for added heft and strength. She wasn’t sure how much that was going to help; they weren’t really designed to serve as levers or weapons. The metal was easily bent.
“Yeah.”
“You should go too.”
“What about you?” Jessica asked him.
“I’ll go last.”
“Why can’t this be like the movies?” she sighed.
“What, where no one ever has to take care of bodily needs?”
“Yeah.”
He shrugged. “Right now I think I’d trade that one for the endless ammunition guns movie stars always seem to have.”
Jessica stopped herself from laughing just in time, settling for a quiet chuckle
instead. “That would probably be more useful, yes.”
“Don’t worry about the bathroom thing. It’s not our house, we’ve got no choice, and trust me; I’ve done far worse in the field before than pee in the corner of an attic.”
“I don’t want to know.” Jessica said quickly.
“No, you probably don’t.” he agreed as he finished with the tape and checked the constructed stick over. “What do you think? Good enough to knock some zombies around?”
Jessica reached out and ran her hand over the rods. The tape had wound them firmly together, and they seemed solid. Surprisingly. The bundle was quite thick now, thick and heavy. She wouldn’t want to be hit by it. Maybe it would work okay. “Should do some damage.”
“We’ll see.” he said, starting on another with the rods she’d brought over.
Candice finished in the corner, and Jessica took her own turn, then Austin. None of them mentioned the strong smell of urine that was wafting through the attic. Jessica was just counting her blessings that no one needed to void their bowels; there wasn’t any toilet paper, and she wasn’t sure if any of them had enough clothing to spare for that use. Austin finished, then crawled over the rafters to the hatch.
“Okay, you back me up. Shoot only if I tell you to, or if there’s no choice.” he whispered. He had the makeshift sticks in his right hand, leaving his left free for the moment.
Jessica drew the Shield and nodded. He took hold of the pull cord for the hatch, which they’d made sure was still up after they’d gotten into the attic, and carefully pushed the hatch itself down. It was weighted and hinged to just barely have an upward bias; so it didn’t take much to open it. Austin used the cord to hold it open only a few inches and leaned down to take a look as best he could. Jessica waited, Candice huddled behind her.
After ten seconds, Austin tipped the hatch open some more; enough to get his head all the way out. After taking a long look around, he sat up and caught her gaze. Pointing in the direction of the far end of the hallway, he flashed two fingers. She nodded. He pointed to himself, then at the taped up sticks, and mimed swinging. Jessica nodded again. He returned the nod, then lowered the hatch the rest of the way.
