by Carla Thorne
Mary curled onto her side and pulled up the throw. Paisley dragged the whole feather cat toy away and joined her on the bed.
She wiped away a tear. “He’s going to be so upset. It’s my fault.”
“Excuse me? I’m going to assume the swelling is cutting off oxygen to your brain. Because the tough Mary Hunter I know doesn’t take crap from anyone, and we both know those things Gavin did to you are not your fault. Guys don’t get to fondle us when they want to. You made yourself clear about your boundaries.”
“No, I know that. What I mean is, there were lots of times I enjoyed kissing him. I let him hug me and touch my face. He rested his hand on my knee when we watched movies, and I didn’t think anything of it. And we kissed a lot.”
“I know. Everyone knows. The whole town knows.”
“Exactly! So why wouldn’t he think he could go further?”
“Hello? Is this the eighteen-hundreds? Do women not have a voice? Did we lose all the rights the women before us fought for?” I yanked my drink off the nightstand. “This is just your broken heart talking. You’re trying to let him off the hook. The truth is, he crossed the line. You told him no. You had to knock him to the ground to get away from that tree and he returned the favor by breaking your nose. His actions are inexcusable.”
“Maybe mine are too.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that maybe there were a couple of seconds against that tree when I thought it would feel good to say yes.”
I plopped on the end of the bed. “Aw, Mary, are you going to make me Google something sciency?” I capped my empty Dr Pepper bottle and tossed it into the trash. “Listen. Biology 101. You love the guy. Primal instincts affect us too. It’s natural to want to feel good. And the things guys’ bodies do is natural—however gross it is. They can’t help it most of the time, but they sure as heck can help how they act in the situation. Gavin went too far.”
“I know. But that doesn’t make it any easier to give him up. Most of it was good.”
“Yeah? Well, none of it should have been violent.”
She nodded.
“I gotta go.” I grabbed all my things. “I’ll send your mom up. Keep her distracted while I clean up the front yard before your dad gets home.”
“Thanks.”
“Call me if you need me.”
“I will.”
“I’m serious, Mary. You’re a Warrior. Warriors don’t let guys like Gavin push us around. We’re in charge of us.”
She managed a slight smile. “I know what I have to do.”
“Good. Call me when it’s over. And Mary?”
“Yes?”
“Intercourse, intercourse, intercourse.”
Chapter 10
Mary
I’d told Ivy I knew what I had to do.
That didn’t make it any easier to do it.
Polite, contrite, and lookin’ just right. That’s how Gavin came up the walk to my front door.
I met him outside.
He stopped and put his hand over his mouth when he saw me. He had tears in his eyes when he sagged into my mom’s favorite wicker porch chair. He knew better than to reach for me.
And I just stood there on the walk. Truth was, I didn’t have much to say. All his apologies would make me cry, and all my hurt and doubt kept me from forming real words anyway.
Part of me enjoyed seeing him squirm. I loved the guy but hated his actions. I wanted the life-long friendship without the drama that had broken it forever. I wanted to go back to all the good feels and leave the sharp edges behind.
I knew none of that was possible.
Did it make me a bad person that I wanted him to look at the wounds he left on my face in a moment of uncontrolled anger? I wanted him to study them, think about them, and remember what he shattered. I wanted him to be sorry—truly sorry—for everything.
I also wanted to kiss him and hug him and play with that dark curl of hair that looped around his ear. I liked his embrace and the sound of his heart when we cuddled on the couch. I liked that scent he bought at the mall because I’d smelled it in a magazine. I liked…
I loved him.
I took the other chair.
“Thanks for letting me come by,” he said.
“Thanks for all the flowers. It wasn’t necessary.”
He sat forward in the chair with his forearms resting on his thighs. He twisted his fingers together and picked at his nails as he tried to form words. “It was the only thing I could think to do. You wouldn’t talk to me.”
“My parents kept me quiet and to themselves a couple of days.”
“But you didn’t answer my texts.”
“Honestly, Gavin, I didn’t know what to say. I’m hurt. Like actually hurt, inside and out. I can’t believe what happened. You were so angry. And after what happened at the park—”
“I get it, OK.”
The twitch of his jaw signaled agitation. I’d been so used to it I almost missed it. But there it was. That twinge of irritation I’d seen grow to full-blown rage.
My heart flopped around in my chest, even as my resolve started to crack.
“I’m sorry about everything,” he said. “I know I was wrong. I know I should have never pushed you about anything. What can I say? I’m stupid. I love you and I lost my mind a couple of times.”
“I love you too, Gavin. That’s why it’s been so hard.”
“But you’re still breaking up with me. I know you are.”
“It’s going to be a while for me to heal and get past this, so yeah, I think it’s best we take a break and spend some time apart.”
Then Gavin Bagliano cried on my porch. Big, splotchy tears splashed on the bricks below, and all I wanted to do was comfort him.
I couldn’t. That horrible last day wouldn’t let me, but it didn’t stop the throbbing of my own face as I fought back my own urge to cry.
“C’mon, Gavin, we’ll get past this. We’ve been friends forever. We can be friends ag—”
“No.” He stood and swiped his shirt across his face. “No. It doesn’t work that way.” He stepped off the porch. “Tell your parents I’ll talk to them another day. Your dad’s pretty mad right now, but I want to at least apologize.”
I nodded. “Sure.”
He turned to look at me one last time before he headed down the walk. “Can you just do one thing for me?”
“I can try. What is it?”
“Don’t fall for someone else before I have a chance to win you back.”
Chapter 11
Mary
My mom stepped onto the porch with a cold pack and two large glasses of iced tea. “Here. Relax and put this on your face.” She set the tea on the glass-topped wicker table between us. “You want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“That’s fine. We’ll sit here and drink tea.”
It only took her forty-five seconds to talk again. “You remember that little black dog your grandma had? Inky? Or Stinky or Pinky or something?”
I slid the pack away to look at her with one eye. “You mean Blinky?”
“Yes. That’s the one.”
“Is this story going somewhere? ‘Cause I promise you this couldn’t be a worse time.”
“Yes. She rescued that dog, but she really didn’t know where it came from, or what it was like.”
I gave her the one-eyed stare again.
“Anyway, they got along great. She loved that little dog and had it for a few years.”
“I remember.”
“And then one day, she was sitting on the couch giving Blinky treats and she dropped one. When she bent to pick it up, she was close to his head, and Blinky snapped right in her face and got a hold of her bottom lip. He bit clear through and could have ripped it off.”
I let the cold pack slip off my face and into my lap. “Why would you tell me something like that at a time like this? And also, I don’t remember that.”
“She didn’t want to frighten you. But
she had to see a plastic surgeon to sew it up.”
“You’re comparing Gavin to a dog?”
“My point is, she never figured out what spooked Blinky. She had no idea he had a hidden food aggression. Or maybe he didn’t. Maybe he got scared when she suddenly leaned down. Maybe he saw a cat out the window or something from somewhere else or thought she was leaning in to hurt him. But something in Blinky’s nature made him snap and hurt the person he loved most.”
“Right. Gavin and Blinky. Same exact situation.”
“You know what I’m saying, Mary. Scout’s grandparents don’t miss a thing, and they told me what was on that security footage. And I need you to know a couple of things. One is, it’s completely natural you can’t look at Gavin the same way. Grandma never got past that thing with Blinky. She always wondered if she might set him off again, and she really was concerned he might snap at you or someone else. When she had the chance to let him go, she did. He went with an older single guy who had a farm down the road and lots of other animals to run with. The man knew about it, and it was the best place for him. Grandma also didn’t have to sleep with one eye open anymore.”
I slapped the cold pack on my forehead and took a long drink of tea to keep from crying. “Well, you don’t have to worry. I let Gavin go.”
“Not gonna lie, honey. I’m relieved to hear that.”
“Glad someone feels better.”
“No one feels better about any of this, Mary.”
Right. I had to remember my parents had safety concerns and could pull the plug on my freedom at any time. “Sorry.”
“I know you’re going through a lot.” She waved a low-flying bee away. “The second thing I wanted to remind you is this: It’s generally a fact that a person will show you exactly who they are. You should believe them.”
Ouch. Her version of Maya Angelou’s famous quote stung a little. Did my parents—who’d also known Gavin his whole life and let me date him for nearly a year—really think Gavin could be a bad guy? I, for one, still held out hope.
But I got it. “I understand. Umm… Gavin wants to apologize to you guys. Do you think Dad will let him live through that?”
My mom smiled. “It’ll be entertaining, and I’m sure your dad will make him sweat it out, but it’ll be OK.” She stood. “But make no mistake. Your dad is very protective of you, and this pool thing is a big deal. He’s keeping a copy of that footage, and I’m not saying there’s a problem—”
“What kind of problem would there be?”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m only saying he’s doin’ the dad thing. Dads are protectors. That’s what they do.”
Protectors…
Sebastian had used that word. Could my dad be one of the Protectors? Or just a regular dad protector. He did seem to have that super hero vibe about him—if super heroes wore ugly shorts and used criminally bad puns in public. Still, my dad didn’t take anything off anyone and he always watched out for the underdog.
Mind. Blown.
My mother stood there looking at me. “You OK? Need an ibuprofen?”
“No, thanks.”
“C’mon in the kitchen a minute. Scout’s grandma came back by with something else for you.”
“Really? Again?”
I couldn’t smell much, but the distinct scent of frankincense hit my nose when I walked in the kitchen. That and my mother’s meatloaf.
The frankincense brought immediate peace to my mind. The meatloaf, not so much, but I honed in on the frankincense, and Sebastian had been right. It made me feel better, especially about my decision on Gavin. Somewhere, somehow, my supernatural being was close and looking out for me.
My mom put three small bottles in my hand. “Scout’s grandma said these essential oils will help you heal. She put rollers on them so you can use them when you need to. This one’s for the inflammation, bruising, and pain, and this one is to help you breathe. She said you can rub them on your wrist or your neck or directly where it hurts. It’s all natural and won’t hurt you.” She pointed at the frankincense. “This one is apparently good for everything.”
“So I’ve been told. Did you try it? Because I already smell it.”
“No. It’s been here on the counter.”
And yet, the scent lingered in the air.
“Thanks, Mom. I’m going back up to try and pull myself together for school tomorrow.”
“Sure. I’ll call you when dinner’s on.”
Wonderful. The family loaf of meat I didn’t care much for.
I stretched out on my bed with Paisley and took a long, slow whiff of frankincense.
Calm settled around me, though my emotions were anything but.
I texted Ivy. It’s done. It was awful.
Sorry. Want me to come back?
No. It’s OK. Details later. The dots on the screen bounced as I thought. We all need to talk. Do you think we could meet at Scout’s this weekend and regroup?
I’ll ask him, but he said his pool was my pool.
How romantic.
Are you sure you want to return to the scene of the crime?
I can’t swim, but yes. No reason to waste a hot Saturday afternoon.
OK, I’ll try to make a plan. Are you sure you’re OK?
Yes. I’m sniffing frankincense. And guess what else?
?
I think maybe my dad’s one of those Protector people Sebastian talked about.
Chapter 12
Ivy
I couldn’t believe it was her.
That night at the pool party, I couldn’t believe I’d seen Corey around the side of the house when everything went bad—and talking to Gavin, no less.
She hadn’t told me anything about coming to the party, and she hadn’t been in touch for days.
I had started to think she was avoiding me, until she sauntered straight toward me in the hall before choir that next week. At near shoulder length, her hair bounced as she walked and exposed pretty highlights when she turned to smile at others.
She didn’t exactly smile at me, and though she looked better, more confident, and happier than I’d seen her in months, something was off. She had on more makeup than she’d ever worn. Deep purple eyeliner colored her lash line with the precision of a trained makeup artist, and someone had been busy with a contouring kit.
I stepped toward her and, stupid me, thought I’d greet my friend with a hug.
That turned out to be the most awkward welcome-back moment in history.
Corey didn’t even open her arms. In fact, she stepped back and looked at me like I was a stranger.
“Corey? Is everything all right? I’ve been trying to reach you. I saw you at the pool party. Why didn’t you come in earlier and say something?”
“Hello, Ivy.”
“I wish I’d known you’d be back today. I would’ve brought you cupcakes or a balloon or something to celebrate.”
Corey’s cool gaze surprised me. “Then I’m glad you didn’t know. But thank you for wanting to draw attention to the fact I’m back from spending time in a mental institution.”
“Oh. Sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“It doesn’t matter.” She stepped around me. “I have to go.”
Something was wrong. The Corey I knew never badmouthed a cupcake or a balloon. “Wait a minute, Corey, what’s the matter? You’ve stopped talking to me. Why? I thought we were friends.”
“We can’t be friends anymore, Ivy.” She shrugged. “It’s unfortunate, but what can I say?”
“Uh… You can say why we’re no longer friends. That’s a start.” Then I saw the small purple arrows in the cartilage of her ear and the arrow charm peeking out of her shirt. “Wait a minute. Does this have anything to do with the Arrows?”
“I have to go.”
“Stop right there, Corey. Why are you acting like an Arrow?”
“Because I am an Arrow.”
“But Mr. Parrington exposed the Arrows and disbanded them as an unauthorized school group.”
“Yet, the Arrows managed to wreak havoc everywhere on campus.”
“Did they?”
“C’mon, you of all people know what a cancer that group was. Paige is gone. Who’s even on board with this?”
“We still exist, Ivy, and we still have meetings and plan things together.”
“Why? Nothing but misery came out of that group.” She tried to walk away, but I kept up. “Who’s in charge?”
Corey stopped and turned. “I am.” Her smile was as wide as it’d ever been.
“What? Why?”
“Because I can.”
“But why would you want to? Paige was horrible to you, and all her little minions did was torture you under orders from her.”
“But like you said, Paige is gone, and I’ve taken charge of the group.”
“And are you going to be running it like Paige? Are you going to be a bully and make other girls feel bad about themselves?”
“Awww, Ivy. Who sounds catty now?”
I couldn’t believe my ears. “This is ridiculous. You survived. You overcame your issues and you got better. You’re not like Paige. You can’t knowingly hurt people or cause pain. You’re not that kind of person.”
“I’m my own person, Ivy. I choose. I’m in charge of my own life.”
Normally, that would have made me feel better. Why did it make me feel nothing but dread? Exactly what did Corey think she was taking control of by picking up where Paige left off, and by leading a band of mean, self-absorbed people through the halls of Stonehaven Academy?
The suicide attempt had been a loud, clear, and desperate call for help. I thought she’d come out stronger as her doctors and counselors worked with her.
How did she come out of that looking like the villain? Did her family and doctors know?
“Fine,” I said. “When’s your next gathering? I’m technically still an Arrow. I had not heard you were the new leader. Now that I know, I’m eager to see where you’re taking us.”
