by Brianna Jean
I’d have her begging in minutes. She’d be wet and purring my name in less time than it took to unclasp her bra.
I wanted to test her limits, see how much she could handle. I was the Devil’s son. Would she flirt with my madness or crumble against my mania?
I leaned forward until I was face-to-face with her. Once I had her where I wanted her, I whispered, “I’m the little Devil on your shoulder, telling the Angel to shut her trap. I’m the one whispering in your ear, tempting you to give me everything. I’m the one who’ll have your soul in the palm of my hands.”
She inhaled quietly before whispering, “I thought that good always beat evil, Quint.”
I took the bait. “Hmm, let’s test out that theory, baby. You bring the Angel and I’ll bring the Devil—we’ll see what happens when heaven and hell meet in the flesh.”
She let out a hard, bitter laugh.
Before my eyes, her entire demeanor changed. Gone was the light and funny Annalise that was relentlessly flirting with me twenty minutes ago, and in her place was a cold and callous woman who had a secret. Her smile was cocky, sexy. In fact, she looked like Lanier did when he was in his true form; all she was missing was her wings.
“So, what you’re all saying is that I’m an Angel and I’m supposed to be here on Earth doing good for the Humans? I’m supposed to find a random job and work it just because I was given wings and a title?” she asked incredulously. She didn’t let us answer before continuing, “Let me inform you all of something. I’m not your girl. I’m not who you’re obviously looking for. That ship sailed long ago.”
I looked to Lanier, confused. Where was she going with this?
“No, Annalise. It’s you. We…we feel you…” Cabe said, sounding just as confused. “And you have a scent, you’re Nephilim.”
“I don’t doubt that I’m who you were sent to find, but I’m doubting what you all say I am. I’m not an Angel.” She still had the private secret in her eyes. She wanted us to tell her differently.
So I did. “Yes, you are, Pup. You’re an Angel. You Transitioned in front of us last night; we saw it happen.”
“Well, this will be interesting then.” As she spoke, she shifted so that her feet were planted on the floor and her elbows rested on her knees. She looked down at me, up at Lanier, then over to Cabe before knocking the wind out of the room when she said, “Tell me, boys, what do you do when you’re an Angel who sold her soul to the Devil?”
I couldn’t handle anymore. When I agreed to listen to what they had to say, I knew it was going to be a lot of information, but I had no idea how much of it would be about me.
The first time I met the guys, in the alley, kept popping up in my head as I paced back and forth in the living room. Lanier was right. I had no idea what I was, and based on what they told me, I wasn’t going to like the rest of the information they had to give me. A fucking Angel.
After my startling question, no one said anything. Lanier sat back in his chair and looked down at his hands fisted in his lap, Quint started playing video games on the monstrous flat screen on the other side of the living room, like I hadn’t said anything at all, and Cabe was staring at me with a whole world of fear in his eyes—like I might shatter in front of him. Which was annoying.
I was serious though. I hated people, I hated Humans in general. People were vicious and mean. They took what they wanted without asking permission first, and I decided from a young age that I didn’t believe in God—The Maker. I didn’t believe in a being who would allow His children to get brutally beaten for half of their childhood. That was a cruel God.
I would rather believe in the Devil, someone who was unapologetic in the evil he committed. I could live with knowing that evil does what evil does. God is supposed to love and protect, but He never showed me either of those things.
“I need to get the fuck out of here,” I said to no one in particular.
Quint spoke up, not taking his eyes off the TV screen, “Where do you wanna go, princess pie? I can take you for a ride, all you gotta do is say the word. This dick will fuck the confusion right out of you.”
“For once, just shut up, Quint,” Lanier grumbled. “Annalise, can you just talk to us? We can help you.”
I laughed out a bitter sound. “Help me? You want me to ask you for help?”
“Who else would you ask?” Cabe supplied.
“Oh, I don’t know. Literally anyone else?” I squeaked. God, I actually squeaked. “You just told me that not only am I not Human but that I’m an Angel? Like a heavenly being that’s supposed to have a halo and be all pure and shit. Well, I’m sorry to disappoint, but I am most definitely not pure. I’m actually one hundred percent positive that Quint’s daddy has a nice spot in Hell waiting for me.”
I kept pacing, running my hand down my face as I walked. I probably looked like a hot fucking mess. I hadn’t even seen a mirror in this place. I hadn’t even fucking peed yet. Jesus Christ.
I paused my walking momentarily. “Let’s take a bigfoot sized step back for a moment. How are we talking about Angels like they’re real? That isn’t even possible, and I let you talk about it like it was!”
I was frustrated with myself for even contemplating this idea, but I only entertained it because I said I would. I told them I’d listen to what they had to say and then make my decision. Now that it was time to decide what it was that I believed, I wasn’t sure where to even start. It was like my brain just stopped functioning properly. Maybe I had brain damage? That would explain a whole lot.
I wasn’t normal, I figured that out long before this conversation, but an Angel? Like a real-life heavenly being? No, that was not possible. It couldn’t be possible.
“You have wings, Annalise.” Lanier sat forward in his chair and set those green eyes on me. “You can push them out right now and prove it to yourself. Maybe then you’ll stop wearing a hole in my floor.”
“The last thing I care about is the state of your floor, you fuckwad.” I growled, shocking myself. It sounded like a real growl, deep and guttural. “What the—”
“Oh, that’s going to be hot in bed. I bet she purrs too,” Quint said casually, a wicked smirk ghosting over his lips.
I rolled my eyes. What was happening to me? The strength, the ability to heal, now I’m growling like an animal?
I really hated asking for help, but Lanier was right. Something happened to me last night, and it was time I saw for myself. A part of me hoped that it would all turn out to be a big joke and I’d gotten jumped in the alley instead. No Transition, no wings. Then I’d have an excuse to get the hell out of this penthouse and away from these guys.
But the truth was, I didn’t want to leave. I knew that I should want to leave, but I couldn’t actually make myself do it. Every time I thought about it, I came up with an excuse to stay a little bit longer.
That, unfortunately, was the reason I stopped pacing and turned to face Lanier, taking a deep breath. He was the only one that I wasn’t sure what to do with. I could be friends with Cabe, as he clearly wanted to talk to me. Quint was the easiest of all. I’d fuck him, and he’d be out of my system. But Lanier?
Every time I looked at him, my gut clenched. My heart burned and tingled. My flames burned hotter, my soul pulsed and reached for his. His very being called to me.
Now as I looked at him, I was nervous. I needed to ask him to help me, but I was afraid he’d reject me. I could have asked the other two, but for some reason, I didn’t want their help. I needed Lanier’s straight-to-the-point attitude, his confidence. I also needed the part of him that hated me, because then maybe my strange feelings toward him would be turned off. If he clearly hated me, there’s no way I’d want to be around him. Right?
My gaze locked with his, his shoulders immediately tensing up. He sat completely still as he looked into my eyes. I tried to show the questions on my face. I was too proud to ask them out loud, and I hoped to god he wasn’t going to deny me or make me beg.
To my comp
lete surprise, his eyes softened. He looked at me with such tenderness that I took a small step back.
Fuck.
Everything in me cried out to him. Suddenly it all became too much and I shattered. The weight of all the new information, the pain from the Demon attack, the apparent threat to my life, the aftermath of the Transition. It all happened at once, slamming into my chest and stealing the breath from my lungs. I completely fucking panicked.
Lanier shot up from his chair but approached me slowly, like I was a caged animal. “Annalise, look at me.”
I heard him, but it was distant, far away. I heard Cabe swear and Quint throw the controller down, but then Lanier barked at them to stay the fuck back, and the room quieted. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe, begging the tears to stay away.
I couldn’t break in front of them, I couldn’t. I was the weak link; I was the female. I had to stay strong, or they could take advantage of me. They’d use my weakness against me and control me if I didn’t stop this.
But I couldn’t.
I couldn’t catch my fucking breath.
Then I felt a hand come under my chin and tilt my head up. “Open your eyes, Annalise.” It was a soft command. I knew it was Lanier from the way my skin burned under his touch. His scent was everywhere. Bergamot and vanilla with the sexiest amount of man.
“Annalise,” he warned.
I obeyed, opening my eyes to see him standing right in front of me with only inches between us. His body wasn’t touching mine, but it didn’t matter. I felt him everywhere.
“Come with me?” he asked gently, like he was trying not to scare me or set me off. I couldn’t do anything but nod, giving him control. He looked to the guys. “We’ll be back.”
He leaned down and grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers. I was too numb to protest, instead I gripped his hand tighter and pulled a few shaky breaths into my lungs. My panic attack still loomed like a black cloud over my foggy brain. He walked us past the other two guys, who looked confused and slightly pissed off, and grabbed a set of keys out of a bowl that sat on a small white table near the front door. I realized we were leaving the house a moment too late.
“Wait,” I sputtered. “Where are we going?”
He looked down at me. “Just put aside everything you’re feeling for right now and trust me. We’re going to take a drive somewhere.”
“Are you a good driver?” I asked with a bite to my tone.
He chuckled. “Just when I thought you’d lost your spark.”
I didn’t bother responding. I didn’t actually care; he could’ve taken me to an abandoned building and slaughtered me and I wouldn’t have felt any differently. I would have deserved it for letting myself get into that situation in the first place. I was an idiot.
But I loved driving, and it always helped my anxiety. I didn’t have a car because I was broke, and I didn’t need one to get to and from my shitty waitressing job. But Joey had one, and whenever we’d get bored, we would drive around and listen to music in an otherwise silent car. I could think clearly when I was on the road.
I wondered briefly if Lanier somehow knew that, but I decided not to ask, figuring that I had better not add fuel to the already blazing fire.
We walked down a long hallway painted a dark red with a sleek black marble floor and stopped in front of a set of gold elevators. There was a small table with a vase of black roses and a matching gold clock hanging above it. Four thirty a.m. For fuck’s sake. No wonder I was such a mess. It was the middle of the night, and I was trying to process all this shit at once.
One of the elevators opened, and Lanier pulled me along behind him. I was dragging my feet, a spineless captive.
We were silent as the elevator dropped ten floors to the basement parking garage. When the doors opened, Lanier let go of my hand and walked ahead of me. I didn’t try to catch up, I just admired his ass in his jeans instead. He was fucking gorgeous. The most beautiful of the three. Though they were all different, Lanier was pure darkness. His clothes, his hair, his tattoos. He was my biggest fantasy in the flesh. He’d ruin me, and a part of me craved his chaos. My demons lurked and drooled at the possibilities.
He walked ahead of me until he stopped in front of a delicious looking vehicle. “No way,” I blurted out.
“What?” he asked without looking at me. He rounded the corner of the car and opened the passenger door.
“What the hell is this thing?” I asked, stopping in front of the matte black Mercedes.
“It’s a car.” He ran an annoyed hand down his face.
“Can I drive it?” I asked excitedly.
“Absolutely not.”
I shrugged. “Worth a shot.” I walked past him and slid into the buttery black leather seat. “What model is this? I’ve never seen it before.”
He shut my door without replying and then got in the driver side and said, “It’s an AMG GT-R.”
“I don’t know what that means,” I said honestly. I opened my hand out toward him and asked, “Can I have your phone?”
His eyebrows crunched in confusion, causing me to laugh. “I want to see what music you have on your phone! If we’re going for a drive, I need to set the mood.”
“Then play music from your phone, why do you need mine?” He turned the car on, shaking his head. I held back a giddy laugh as the car roared to life. Holy shit. The car was fucking mean.
“Because I’m assuming my phone is somewhere in your room right now, since I haven’t seen it anywhere,” I replied, my hand still out, palm up.
“Fine, here.” He reached in his pocket and handed me his iPhone. “The PIN is 1234.”
I laughed. “Really? 1234?”
“Who am I hiding from? My brothers don’t give a shit what’s on my phone, and I don’t have a nosey girlfriend reading my texts while I sleep, so I went with something easy to remember.” He shrugged, and I tried to ignore the way my stomach flipped at the mention of a girlfriend. I hadn’t even thought about any of them being in relationships. Damn, what was wrong with me?
I unlocked his phone and searched for his Apple Music app. When I found it, I went to his library and almost hit shuffle before I remembered I had no idea where we were going. “How long is the drive?”
“Long, but we should be there in about two hours since traffic won’t be as bad right now.”
“Where are we going?” I asked, knowing he wouldn’t tell me.
“You’ll see.”
Yeah, I figured.
I shifted in my seat, putting my seatbelt on as he revved the engine and pulled out toward the gated exit. He reached up and hit a button that was attached to his visor. The gate opened, and we pulled out into the nearly empty streets of NYC.
I hit shuffle on the playlist and leaned back in my seat, curiously waiting to hear what type of music he listened to. “Somebody” by The Chainsmokers with Drew Love pulsed through the stereo system, and I smiled. It fit his personality almost too well.
As I absorbed the lyrics, my smile began to fade. The music was loud, Lanier was silent. I had no reason not to let go now.
So I did.
I turned my head to look out the window and watched as the city sights flew by. I couldn’t get too lost in my head, because I would inevitably bring on another panic attack, but I had to consider my options.
The guys just told me that I was an Angel. An otherworldly being that existed within the realm of religion. A religion that held no meaning to me, that served a God who never paid me any attention. If I was supposedly one of his Angels, then who the fuck was “The Maker?” Why had He allowed one of his Angels to be beaten and brutalized? Why did my parents abandon me?
I never let myself think about them, ever. They didn’t deserve my thoughts. They didn’t care about me enough to keep me, so why would I bother harboring feelings toward them, good or bad? They were just two people who put in the work to make me but gave up after the fun part was over.
The most literal version of “fuck and dum
p”—just with nine extra months attached.
“Days Like This” interrupted my dark thoughts as Khalid’s voice came through the speaker, making me smile. I peeked at Lanier in the driver seat, only then realizing why he was so attractive to me.
He had swag—an edgy sort of swag. It wasn’t obvious when you first looked at him, but goddamn, I saw it now. He drove with his left hand on the steering wheel and his right elbow propped on the center console while his hand scratched the five o’clock shadow that peppered along his jaw.
I wanted to commit his face to memory, fearing that I’d lose him any moment. I could feel his warring feelings toward me, but I didn’t know why.
I wanted to know…badly.
Now wasn’t the time to ask though. We had a long car ride ahead of us, and he seemed content for once. He was clearly thinking too hard, but so was I, and we both needed the quiet.
“WHY” by NF began playing. I tilted my head as I studied him. This specific song said a lot about a man. Maybe even the man in front of me. Did he relate to this song? Was he just as lost as me?
I understood it better the more I thought about it—his flames, his soul, his very being called to me. It wouldn’t shock me to find that we were both in the same place. Lost, confused, in complete limbo.
He seemed to hate me, constantly annoyed by my questions, yet jealous when one of his friends looked too hard or touched me for too long.
Maybe we were both caged animals, maybe we were the only ones who could find the key to release one another. As much as I hated to admit it, the dark part of me didn’t want to be released—I wanted to be chained to him, locked in a cage with his feral beast.
But then at least I’d feel something. Something stronger than the doubt and confusion that swirled relentlessly in my brain every day.
I had no purpose, no direction. I fought for money, I ate what I could afford, I drank myself to sleep when it didn’t come naturally. I had nothing and no one. I was lost.
Maybe that was why I held on so tightly to three guys I met in a fucking alley. They could have been dangerous criminals, but I was starving for something new. Something exciting and maybe even dangerous. The fact that they could turn on me at any moment added a new element to my life.
