Northern Ireland has enjoyed a relatively peaceful time since 1998 and I am thankful for that. In July 2001 there was a UDA rally in the heart of Loyalist West Belfast. I was invited but refused the invitation. I wanted to keep my head down and get on with my life. I wasn’t interested in rallies and shows of strength, but I was put under pressure. The West Belfast brigadier told my brigadier, ‘Order him to go’, but my brigadier said, ‘No, he has done his time, it’s his choice.’ And I relented.
It was a summer’s day and thousands of people had gathered for the unveiling of new murals in Johnny Adair’s heartland. The West Belfast brigade had spent thousands on the wall paintings. It was supposed to be a family day. Hundreds of children were running around dressed in ‘Mad Dog Adair’ T-shirts and with their faces painted to resemble the Union Jack. When these kids spotted me, they asked me to sign the back of their T-shirts. I did. But it wasn’t ‘Michael Stone’. It was ‘Mickey Mouse’ or ‘Donald Duck’. I did that not to upset the kids but to piss Adair off. One of the new murals depicted LVF leader Billy Wright, who had been rubbished in prison by Adair. He had called Wright a ‘wanker’ and said his death was ‘no loss’ to Loyalism. I smiled at the irony of Wright’s image appearing on a wall in the Shankill estate.
John White, Adair’s right-hand man and self-styled spokesperson for the UDA, was also present, and he moved through the crowd like Moses parting the waters. He approached me and shook my hand. He said he was relieved I had agreed to attend the rally. He said it showed supporters the UDA was united and still ‘The Best’. I spied Adair in the crowd, hovering near the stage, and he was wearing a ‘Simply the Best’ T-shirt. Even his Alsatian, Rebel, was wearing one.
I noticed the crowd was running around and they looked like they were panicking. I thought to myself, Oh no, something has just happened. Meanwhile White asked me to go on stage. I refused. Under no circumstances, I told him. I was here as a spectator. He tried to blackmail me with rubbish such as, ‘The speeches can’t be made until you go on stage.’ I told him to catch a grip, then looked at the stage and saw Adair had already taken his place. I told White I was only present out of respect for the UDA, not for the West Belfast brigade of the UDA. I said that the UDA didn’t begin and end with West Belfast and I was here because I was still loyal to the organisation. He gave me a false smile and said he could personally guarantee there would be no volleys of shots or guns on stage and it would be disrespectful for a leading Loyalist to refuse to join fellow Loyalists on stage. He walked away.
I noticed there was a commotion and the crowd was beginning to disperse and running towards the Shankill Road. An LVF colour party, invited by Johnny Adair to the West Belfast rally, produced guns and fired shots at a UVF bar called The Rex. People were injured, but news of the gun attack hadn’t filtered through to the Shankill estate. Meanwhile, I was told that if I didn’t get on stage it would look like there was a massive split in the UDA. So I agreed, for internal politics’ sake, and was shown a seat beside Adair. He couldn’t sit still. He was in a high state of excitement and was like a child bouncing around the stage, breathlessly listing who was here and who had come to pay homage at God’s Own Country. He kept saying, ‘This is fucking great, Mikey, fucking great’, and rubbing his hands together. When Adair was overexcited he always rubbed his hands maniacally.
Mr Showbiz sat on stage like a king presiding over his people. He was overwhelmed by it all. His voice was chirping in my ear, ‘Will you hold my hand, Mikey?’ I didn’t have time to react. I didn’t even have time to turn and look at him. He grabbed my hand and, with his hand wrapped around mine, punched the air. It was the show of strength I didn’t want to be part of and was told wouldn’t happen. The crowd erupted and Adair, a broad smile on his face, shouted, ‘Wasn’t I right, Mikey? Didn’t I say we were famous? You’re used to all this, the fame, aren’t you, Mikey?’
White made a speech, and as soon as it was finished I left the stage. I knew the guns and volleys of shots would be next. As I made my way through the crowd I met an associate from East Belfast. He said we had to get out of the Shankill urgently because all hell was about to break loose. The noise of gunfire filled the air and, when I looked behind me, I could see not one but several people firing. One was a woman wearing a micro-mini combat skirt who was struggling with her gun. She continued to fire, but she was lowering the weapon while it was on fully automatic, and she seemed as if she would drop it, sending bullets everywhere. People were beginning to duck and look for cover, but in the end no harm came of it.
We were on the fringes of the crowd when a former prisoner approached me. We had never really bothered with each other in the Maze, so it was a surprise to be hugged by the man and asked how I was. The man was wearing a T-shirt and had bare arms. I didn’t like this. I learned a short while afterwards that he was the gunman who had shot up the Rex. The bastard was trying to set me up by planting evidence.
My associates took me to a bar in East Belfast. I undressed in the yard while two pals hosed me down. Another friend brought a shirt and trousers. I scrubbed my skin with Fairy Liquid to destroy the evidence the gunman had planted on me. I was just out of jail. I couldn’t afford to be implicated in any paramilitary business. I had no intention of going back to prison and I didn’t want to play any role in an internal Loyalist blood feud. This man had deliberately tried to discredit me. The newspapers had a field day about my appearance at the Shankill rally. I told my brigadier that I wouldn’t be doing anything like that ever again. I was out on licence. I was owned by the Secretary of State. My life belonged to the authorities and just the newspaper reports alone would have been enough to have me sent back to prison, no questions asked. My brigadier said he understood.
This event was the start of a bitter and bloody feud between the UDA and the UVF, and Adair had started it by inviting the LVF to the rally. The feud lasted several months and a number of men were killed.
Recently I bumped into someone I didn’t think I would ever see again. It was my Milltown back-up man. After I was arrested he fled to England, but with the ceasefire and fledgling Peace Process he felt able to come home. We met in a bar on the outskirts of Belfast and he explained to me what had happened on the day. He said he was aware of the white Transit parked on the hard shoulder and, following my instructions to the letter, ordered the driver to keep moving. He also said that an RUC surveillance unit was monitoring the vehicle as it circled and cruised the motorway. The driver had a scanner that could pick up police airwaves. He then said circumstances got out of control and the car was unable to get to me. I wanted to believe him, but inside I didn’t.
Twelve years on, he was still very angry and very emotional. He asked me again why I wouldn’t let him take part in the cemetery part of the sanction. Again I told him that it was because I couldn’t guarantee his safety. His answer shocked me. He said, ‘You stole that operation from me. I have never forgiven you.’ I have always had a nagging doubt that my back-up man deliberately abandoned me. I don’t want to think that he betrayed me, but I know he left me on the motorway. I know he let me down.
26
PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE
ONE OF THE REASONS I SPLIT WITH SUZANNE WAS BECAUSE I WAS WORRIED ABOUT HER SAFETY. I am fatalistic about life and I believe that shit happens. I was not willing to risk her. I believe when the IRA come for me, they will come armed with heavy artillery. It won’t be a small weapon. It will be something to make a big mess, something that guarantees I don’t survive. I also think they will use one of the weapons from Milltown as their death card, probably the Ruger. The Ruger will be their way of saying, ‘We got our man.’ I think Republicans have this little fantasy that I am sitting in a fortified prison, armed to the eyeballs, with a knife between my teeth, just like the Rambo character. I say to them, ‘Catch a grip.’ Like Republican prisoners and like Republican killers, I am trying to get on with my life. I can’t be always looking over my shoulder. But at the same time paranoia is what keeps you
alive.
It has been difficult to reintegrate, but my art has given me a purpose and an income. The thing with art is that it transcends politics, religion, culture, nationality and identity. Art is now my passion. I could happily paint till three in the morning and I have withdrawal symptoms if a day passes without me putting a brush to canvas.
I have always been an optimist about peace in Northern Ireland, but I have genuine fears for the long-term prospect of peace holding. If it all blows up again, then the new breed of Loyalist will take the war to the Irish Republic. That is a fact. It is not speculation. I believe we are all marking time. I believe Republicans and Loyalists are waiting for things to fall apart and then the paramilitaries will step back into the breach.
I find the current sectarian unrest depressing. East Belfast’s Cluan Place and Short Strand flashpoint shows that wounds haven’t healed and the sectarian bitterness is as ripe now as it was in the 1970s. It is back to the bad old days. I remember the 1970s, when Loyalists would go hunting the streets for Catholics. I don’t want to face that ever again, but I fear we might. Naturally, I fear for my family and friends.
I acknowledge that while in prison I was cocooned from the realities of street politics, but now the reality of the situation has hit me. I don’t want to seem alarmist, but the situation is simmering and coming slowly to the boil. I have said in the past that my war is over. My war is over, but if civil order broke down I would obviously have to defend my family and community. That’s not war-mongering, that’s a reality. If I could have stood with just one Loyalist it would have been John ‘Grugg’ Gregg, the leading south-east Antrim UDA man.
For the third time in my life, a close friend has been taken from me. John Gregg died in early February 2003 after Johnny Adair ordered and organised his execution. I will remember him fondly and with sadness as I remember my two other associates, Tommy Herron and John McMichael. Grugg loved his music and football. It is ironic that Adair’s henchmen would strike as he made his return journey from a Rangers match, a team he has followed all his life. His favourite groups were UB40 and Madness and he used music – the Maze First Flute and pop groups – to keep young men on his wings from the mental wards. His Christmas and Halloween parties were legendary. The lads loved him because he was like a big father figure who kept them busy, occupied and settled.
In the months leading up to his death, we had several discussions about Adair and his quest to resurrect the old position of Supreme Commander. It was widely known in Loyalism that Grugg had Adair by the tail, and it was also no secret that Adair had marked Grugg as enemy number one. History repeated itself. The John McMichael and Jim Craig relationship was being played out all over again. Grugg, like McMichael, knew he was marking time. Sadly his time ran out just weeks into the New Year when he was ambushed and killed by Johnny Adair’s C Company using AK47 rifles.
The last time I saw my friend was the night before he was buried. Even in death he was impressive. He was wearing the uniform of his beloved Clough Fern Flute Band. He was their bass drummer. I will miss him, as I still miss John McMichael and Tommy Herron.
In certain areas of Loyalism the chickens have come home to roost. There have always been disagreements and blood feuds. Former paramilitary associates and friends find themselves at one another’s throats. There has been a spate of killings and attempted killings. Criminal elements within West Belfast UDA have sought to capitalise on these events in order to gain overall control of the UDA.
Johnny Adair, the former brigadier of West Belfast UDA, was expelled from the organisation by the Inner Council for treasonable activities, namely supporting and condoning actions taken by the rival LVF. The Inner Council also found that his criminal activities involving drugs, prostitution and extortion were unacceptable. We are Loyalists. We are not criminals. The houses, the holidays, the gold and the flash car have nothing to do with true Loyalism. Adair’s answer was always: ‘Aye, Mikey, but Loyalism doesn’t pay the bills.’
In prison, Adair constantly harped on about ‘one good man to run the UDA’, and he was talking about himself. I told him repeatedly that it wouldn’t work, that no man is bigger than the UDA and no man is bigger than Loyalism. He didn’t listen.
His associate John White was also expelled for treasonable activities and for supporting Adair’s aspirations to become Supreme Commander of the UDA. The position has always been precarious. The enemy or the security forces can assassinate one individual or turn him into one of their informers. On one occasion, at a meeting of the Prison Council (the UDA/UFF’s prison version of the Inner Council), White, the prisoners’ spokesperson at the time, declared to the assembled company, ‘I am the UDA. There wouldn’t be a UDA without me.’ I told him to behave himself, but he insisted that he was the ‘only person holding the UDA together’. I have always said, ‘The tail cannot wag the dog. The tail is the prisoners, the body of the dog is the body politic and the head and teeth is the UDA/UFF, and if you fuck with them the head will turn and bite off the dog’s tail.’ White stormed off. He was seen by many as the unacceptable face of Loyalist prisoners because he carried out the savage mutilation of two people, one a woman. Old-school Loyalists didn’t like his style.
I acknowledge that there are those who think I am being hypocritical in condemning his past actions, but I, too, am of the old school and believe in a clean kill, not a prolonged, frenzied attack.
After their expulsion, Adair and White set up a fiefdom in the Lower Shankill. Former Loyalists and associates were attacked and intimidated from the area as Adair carried out a purge of any perceived enemies. He had a number of good men in his ranks who were too frightened to speak out against him for fear of retaliation.
An incendiary blast bomb was planted at White’s home. The security forces defused the device. In retaliation for the attempt on White’s life, Adair’s men sought to assassinate John Gregg by booby-trapping his car. This is ironic, given that Gregg attempted to kill the Sinn Fein chief Gerry Adams.
Adair, through his criminal egomania and disrespect for Loyalism, has bastardised the UDA and Loyalist cause for self-gain and notoriety, just like Jim Craig and Tucker Lyttle were doing twenty years ago. During those months before Adair was thrown back in jail, I feared for the young men under his control who, out of misplaced loyalty, were placing their own lives and the lives of their fellow Loyalists on the line.
To the Wee Johnny I knew in the 1990s when he was a private in C Company, I say, you are now the unacceptable face of Loyalism. Give it up, Johnny, or start a new life in another country or you are going to end up in that rubbish skip before me …
My priority is to stay alive. When my time comes, and it will, I hope I am on my feet and moving forward. I accept that I will die as I lived and, to be honest, I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Quis separabit.
GLOSSARY
CLMC (Combined Loyalist Military Command) Organisation formed in 1991 to represent the UDA/UFF, UVF and Red Hand Commando. It declared the Loyalist ceasefire in 1994.
INLA (Irish National Liberation Army) Extreme Republican paramilitary group, established in 1974 after breaking away from the IRA.
LVF (Loyalist Volunteer Force) Dissident faction of the UVF formed in the late 1990s by those opposed to the Loyalist ceasefire.
PIRA (Provisional Irish Republican Army) The largest Republican paramilitary group. Formed in 1970 after breaking away from the IRA (Irish Republican Army) following disagreement at the Ard Fheis (annual general meeting) of Sinn Fein, the political wing of the IRA. In 1994 the PIRA declared its first ceasefire, which was later broken and then restored.
RIR (Royal Irish Regiment) A regiment of the British Army established in 1992 after the Ulster Defence Regiment and Royal Irish Rangers merged.
RUC (Royal Ulster Constabulary) The police force of Northern Ireland formed in 1922, and called the Police Service for Northern Ireland since 2001.
SAS (Special Air Service) Special-forces unit of the Britis
h Army, first deployed in Northern Ireland in 1976.
UDA (Ulster Defence Association) The largest Loyalist paramilitary force, formed in 1971 and proscribed in 1992.
UDR (Ulster Defence Regiment) Regiment of the British Army recruited exclusively in Northern Ireland. Formed after the disbandment of the B Specials (an exclusively Protestant part-time paramilitary force), which it replaced in 1970.
UDP (Ulster Democratic Party) Formed in 1971. The political wing of the UDA.
UFF (Ulster Freedom Fighters) Cover name for the UDA, first used in 1973.
ULDP (Ulster Loyalist Democratic Party) Forerunner of the UDP, formed in 1981 under the auspices of John McMichael.
UVF (Ulster Volunteer Force) Second-largest Loyalist paramilitary group. Established in the mid-1960s, but claims heritage dating back to the First World War. Proscribed in 1975.
VUPP (Vanguard Unionist Progressive Party) Established by William Craig in 1973, the former Minister for Home Affairs in the Stormont government.
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