Harlow was responsive in my hands and I was careful not to hold his head too tight because I knew he had the stronger bit in his mouth but it made a difference. I was able to turn him easier and when Esther asked if it was okay to canter, I was able to hold him back from exploding out from under me.
Eventually Saffron slowed to a walk and I pulled Harlow in beside her. The wind whipped our hair from under our helmets, the breeze feeling good against my hot skin.
"I always forget how much I love it here," Esther said wistfully.
"We should come more often," I agreed.
"I don't have too many of you I can trust on the beach," she said and I knew she was right.
But Mickey would have loved this and so would Hampton. I pushed the thought from my mind.
We’d come down the beach quite far, the tourists now people shaped instead of colored dots and the sharp rocks back behind us. We turned the horses back and Esther pointed.
“The rocks are your destination. They’ll stop him if you can’t.”
“Is that likely?” I asked, suddenly feeling nervous.
“Don’t worry, he’ll stop. You can do this.”
Her belief in me was enough to make me think I could do this. Besides, what was the worst that could happen? I’d end up wet and sandy while Harlow pranced through the surf like a seahorse, laughing at me.
I closed my legs and he moved into a hesitant trot, not sure if he wanted to leave his new friend Saffron behind. Once we were a little further away I nudged him into a canter. He bounced beneath me, his canter always more rocking horse than anything else.
“This is it boy,” I said. “Don’t get carried away now.”
And with those words still hanging in the salty sea breeze, I gave him his head and encouraged him on. For a moment he hesitated, not sure if I was really asking him to open his stride up and gallop but when I asked him a second time he believed me. Low to the ground, his legs pounding beneath me, I finally felt the true power of the horse. The wind whipped tears from my eyes as the world raced past in a blur. It was everything I loved about horses. Feeling free. Feeling alive. Feeling like nothing mattered in that moment except you and your horse.
But the rocks were coming up fast. I sat back and closed my fingers around the reins, pulling gently against his mouth and asking him to stop. Only nothing happened.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Harlow was galloping flat out into a solid wall of rocks and there didn't seem to be anything I could do to stop him. I pulled on the reins and seesawed back and forth. He didn't even notice I was there. Suddenly galloping didn't seem so fun anymore. With one last ditch effort I pulled hard on the left rein and swung him into the surf. He finally responded, his nose tucked towards me as I made him splash through the waves in smaller and smaller circles until he slowed to a strung out canter and then a ragged trot.
"First time galloping in a while, huh boy?"
I patted his neck and thanked him for stopping.
"But you know, Esther probably won't ever let us gallop again after that little performance."
I looked up the beach, expecting to see Esther and Saffron coming towards me, her face set in a grimace. Instead she wasn't even looking in my direction at all. She was talking to two girls on black horses. Those twins I knew so well. My heart sank. I was looking forward to beating them at the Fox Run show. Now I wouldn't get the pleasure.
I walked Harlow back through the wet sand, letting him catch his breath. He wasn't as out of shape as I thought he was. In fact by the time we reached Esther, his breathing had returned to normal.
"Good job," Esther said.
She hadn't even seen me struggling to stop him. I figured it was better to keep my mouth shut so I just smiled.
Jess and Amber were dressed in matching tan breeches and navy polo shirts. Beauty and Belle had matching navy saddle pads with gold trim.
"Hi," Amber waved while Jess just stared.
"Hi," I said back.
"The girls here were just telling me how excited they are about the Fox Run show," Esther said.
"Great," I smiled, even though I didn't mean it.
"And," Esther carried on, "They mentioned some changes to the program."
I really couldn't care less about any changes to the program since I wasn't going to the show. I stroked Harlow's wet mane, trying not to look like I was sulking.
"A lot of barns couldn't get their teams together in time," Amber said. "I guess competition teams aren't really a big thing around here. So they’ve done away with the team challenge and the farm cup. It will just be a regular show after all."
I went from not listening to a word she was saying to hanging on every syllable. A regular show? I didn't dare look at Esther. I wanted to hold on to hope as long as I could.
Would there be any chance that Esther would let me ride? It wouldn't be the same as riding on a team with Mickey but it would be almost as good. I tried not to smile too much and fiddled with the buckle on my reins.
"It won’t just be a regular show, it will be an amazing end of season show,” Jess snapped. “But the farm challenge will be back in the fall so everyone had better have their teams together by then,” she looked down her nose at us. “Come on Amber," she said, suddenly yanking her horse away from us.
"So, we'll see you at the show then?" Amber asked.
"Maybe," I said.
I didn't look at Esther but at that very moment a kite that had got away from some child blew across the sand. Saffron of course immediately went into panic mode. She practically threw herself on top of Harlow, Esther's stirrup clinking against mine. Harlow snorted his disapproval as Saffron skittered away, sending up sand and spray. Jess started to laugh.
"Their instructor doesn’t even know how to ride," I heard her say. "Their horses are untrained and unruly. And they're fat."
"I don't think they're that bad," Amber said, trailing after her sister.
“I really don’t like those girls,” Esther said through gritted teeth.
I usually tried to give people the benefit of the doubt but Jess and Amber had used up all their chances. I really didn’t like them either.
The ride home was uneventful. The horses were tired and so were we. When we got to the road, Saffron dutifully followed behind Harlow, only snorting once. We rode in silence but the whole way back I had visions of a jump course set up at Fox Run and standing in the middle was Harlow with a blue ribbon pinned to his bridle and me on his back.
Back at the barn we untacked the horses and let them out in the paddocks. Harlow wandered off to his favorite sand pit and his legs buckled from under him as he dropped and rolled, his spindly legs thrown skyward as he scrubbed himself into the dirt. In the next paddock over Saffron trotted down the fence line looking for something but when Harlow eventually got up and shook himself then got down to grazing, so did she.
Esther and I hung on the fence and watched them for a while. Eventually she looked at me.
"What do you think?" she asked.
"About what?" I said, even though I knew what she meant.
"Do you want to compete at Fox Run as an individual?"
"Do you think I should?"
Everything I'd been dreaming of had been snatched away from me in a heartbeat and now here it all was again, being dangled in front of my nose like a giant carrot. It was almost too good to be true.
"I can't really make that decision for you, can I? Not after messing up your friendship with Mickey. But I can tell you that you're ready."
Mickey. Her name sat in the pit of my stomach like a rock. She was so mad at me that she'd given up her chance to compete at Fox Run herself. If I competed now, what chance did I ever have of winning her friendship back?
"I'll have to think about it," I said, walking back to the barn. "It's getting late. I have to go."
"Alright. But Emily," she shouted after me. "Don't forget, this is your life and your career on the line. If you let someone else ruin your dreams, you'll neve
r forgive yourself."
Deep down I knew Esther was right. It wasn't my fault that Mickey was mad at me and she got to ride in lots of shows. She knew how much this competition meant to me and yet she still managed to muck it up for me. But she obviously didn’t care enough about me to stay and work through our problems so I didn't see why I should mess up a perfectly good opportunity to compete in the show just because I felt bad for her. I decided that I was going to call Esther and tell her to register me for the show but when I got home Mom was standing in the kitchen. Her face was red and she looked like she'd been crying.
"What's wrong?" I said.
Then I saw them. On the kitchen table lay the navy jacket and tan breeches that Mickey had lent me for the show and Mom had found them. For a moment time stood still. She looked at me and I looked at her, trying desperately to come up with an excuse that she would believe but I had nothing. She knew what they were and I suspected she knew what I'd done. She just didn’t know how long it had been going on for and how much I’d disobeyed her.
"You're not even going to lie to me?" she said.
I opened my mouth and then closed it again. I wanted to speak. I just couldn't. Besides, I was pretty sure she didn't want to hear anything that I had to say.
"Go to your room," she finally said.
So I did. But I'd never seen her so mad. She was actually shaking as I bolted past and up the stairs. Why was everything going so wrong? First Mickey, then the show and now this? All I wanted was to win. To show her how good I was so that she'd see this was the one thing I was good at. The one thing I was born to do. Now I'd be lucky if I was ever allowed out of the house again.
I stayed in my room and did my homework. Then I took a shower and washed my hair. When I came back there was a sandwich on my bed and a cup of milk. I ate it, realizing that it had ham inside. I hated ham. Mom knew that. The sandwich wasn't a peace offering at all. It was a punishment. But I was hungry so I ate it anyway and tried not to feel sick.
The next morning I snuck out of the house before she was awake. I didn't want to see her disappointed face staring at me as I waited for the bus so instead I rode my bike to school. Then sat around outside on the benches, wondering how I was going to get myself out of this mess. By the end of the day I still hadn't come up with any ideas and I had two choices. Go home and spend the evening being yelled at by Mom or go to the barn and get in one last ride before I was never allowed out of my room again. The horses won.
Harlow nickered as he saw me running down the barn aisle. I threw open the door to his stall and buried my face in his neck. Giant sobs wracked my body. This was probably the last time I'd ever see him again. I couldn't stand it.
"What are you doing here?"
It was Mickey, poking her head around the stall door with a brush in her hand and a worried look on her face. I ignored her. I didn't need to give her more things to laugh about behind my back at school tomorrow.
"Nothing," I said.
"What's wrong?"
"Why do you care?" I snapped. "You've already ruined everything else. Well now you'll be happy to know that my whole life is ruined forever and you'll probably never see me here again."
I inhaled the sweet scent of Harlow's mane, wiping my tears on his black and white hair. He looked at me then nudged me with his nose, a worried look on his face.
"I do care," Mickey said in a small voice. "And I am sorry. I don't know why I acted that way. Well, I guess I do. I wanted to hurt you because I was hurt when you rode Hampton better than I did. You made me look like a fool and I was mad but I'm sorry."
I looked over at her with bleary eyes and I had to admit that she did look sorry but it was too late. I was never going to be allowed to ride again.
"My Mom found the show clothes you lent me," I sobbed.
"Oh no. What happened? What did she say?"
"She didn't say anything. She was so mad that she couldn't even speak. She just sent me to my room."
"What did you say?"
"I didn't say anything either."
We sat in the corner of Harlow's stall, watching him eat his hay. It was just like old times, except I couldn't help thinking that part of this was Mickey's fault and that I hadn't yet completely forgiven her. But at least it was good to have someone to talk to again.
"Well you guys are a good pair," she said. "How are you going to sort this mess out if you won't even talk to each other?"
"You can talk," I said. "You wouldn't talk to me either."
"I know. I said I was sorry."
"I'm sorry too. I should never have agreed to ride Hampton. He's your horse and it was dumb of me to get on him in the first place."
"You were only doing what Esther told you to. And anyway, he's been better since you rode him. I took him over the whole course the other day and he listened to me and everything. I think you knocked some sense into him."
"No. You just realized that you knew how to do it all along," I said.
Part of Mickey's problem was that she never believed enough in herself as a rider.
"So what do we do now?" she asked.
"We go for a ride," I said. "And we'll make it a good one because it will be my last."
CHAPTER NINE
Esther had gone to the feed store so we were all alone and free to do whatever we wanted and what I really wanted to do was go to the beach again and have one last gallop but Esther had rules. We were allowed to ride if she wasn't here because we weren't beginners but we weren't allowed to ride off the property.
For a moment I considered breaking her rules. They didn't matter anymore anyway. But I knew the rules weren’t just there so that we didn't get hurt. They were also there so that the horses didn't get hurt too and I couldn't bear to hurt Harlow and then leave him. So we decided to jump, only this time not in the ring.
Esther had a grass paddock that was pretty flat and she let us jump in it when the ring was flooded. It didn't have too many gopher holes and there were fences already set up. Mickey and I ran about placing colored poles in cups and trying to walk out the distances.
"I can't tell if this is right," Mickey said, wiping sweat from her forehead. "Is it five strides or six?"
"I don't know. It doesn't matter. Let's just make it up as we go along. If we don't put the fences up too high, the horses should be able to figure it out. Besides, Esther is always telling us we need to develop our eye."
“I already have two eyes,” Mickey laughed. “Where is the other one supposed to go? In the middle of my forehead?”
“Or here?” I joked, bending over and patting my butt.
“Hey,” she grinned and then punched me in the arm.
We tackled each other playfully for a few minutes and for one moment it seemed like everything was normal again, only deep down I knew it wasn’t. We made our way up to the barn to saddle our horses and I pushed the sadness about this being the last time I would ever do it out of my head.
Soon we were out in the jump field and faced with the course. I could think of nothing else but flying through the air with Harlow beneath me.
"Who wants to go first?" Mickey asked.
"You can," I said, trying to be gracious.
We had set most of the fences at two foot six but there was a jump in the middle of the field that was left over from the previous owners of the farm who were eventers. It was a fallen tree trunk that nobody ever jumped because it was too wide and scary.
"Should we jump the tree?" Mickey asked, her new found confidence shining through.
"Up to you," I said but I'd already decided that I would.
She took up Hampton's reins and worked him in a circle for a few minutes. When he was finally paying attention and not staring into space or trying to graze on the lush grass, she cantered him towards the first fence. Hampton powered over it with a grunt and they were away. He cantered down to the next fence, a skinny oxer and then back around to the purple vertical. Mickey was smiling as she took fence after fence in stride. I coul
d still tell that Hampton was doing most of the work, not that I would tell her that, but at least she seemed to have figured out that it was best to leave him alone.
The line that we weren't sure about ended up being a really short six strides or a really long five. Hampton took it in six, chipped and had the top rail down. She cantered on towards the tree trunk, Hampton's ears flicking back and forth like he wasn't sure what she wanted. At the last minute she chickened out and circled him away.
"I think I'll finish on a good note," she said breathlessly, patting his neck.
I didn't blame her. The solid jumps were scary. They didn't fall down if your horse hit them with his legs and we'd all seen horses go tumbling over themselves when we watched the last Olympics. I didn't think I had the nerve to gallop around a cross country course but I was pretty sure that together, Harlow and I could jump one stupid fallen tree.
"My turn," I said.
Harlow was ready to go. He was light and responsive in my hands, not at all like the day at the beach when I was afraid I was never going to stop him. We trotted and cantered and then headed for the first jump. His gray ears pricked up as he saw it. He really did love to jump. I felt him tighten beneath me and then we were flying through the air. One jump after the next disappeared beneath us. Today it felt like they were nothing but cross rails. As though we could have raised the jumps to four feet and Harlow would still have soared over them, just like the pictures I'd seen of Esther riding him. But today I was just happy to ride at all.
We came to the difficult line and I kicked Harlow on, encouraging him with my voice and hands so we flew down the line in five strides and cleared the jump. Now there was only the tree trunk left. There were butterflies in my stomach. I didn't even know if Harlow had ever jumped anything like that before but I didn't care. The tree would be the last thing I ever jumped. I was going to do it.
Secret Rider (Show Jumping Dreams ~ Book 1) Page 5
