Gone With the Nerd

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Gone With the Nerd Page 26

by Vicki Lewis Thompson


  "She probably likes the way he smells." Listening to the word sex come out of Zoe's mouth was having a predictable effect on Flynn. He wrapped his arms around her and remembered what she'd said about putting their adrenaline rush to good use. "Thanks for going with me on a Sasquatch hunt. You were very brave."

  "You're welcome, but if it's all the same to you, I'd rather not do it again anytime soon."

  He pulled her in close. "What would you rather do?"

  "Make out on your Bigfoot sleeping bag."

  The more Zoe thought about the sleeping bag, the more she wanted to turn the experience into a real adventure, the kind she'd always imagined and never had the nerve to do. When Flynn left to get the sleeping bag out of the car, she hurried into the bedroom and grabbed a condom from the box. Then she went out the front door, too.

  The forest smelled of fresh pine, which was proof positive that Bigfoot had taken his smelly self far away. Moonlight filtered through the trees, an owl hooted nearby, and Jiminy Cricket chirped in the bushes.

  The place had become a Disney set again, which was exactly how Zoe liked it. She felt like singing "Someday My Prince Will Come." Actually, he might come within the next twenty minutes or so, assuming he liked her plan.

  He was lifting the sleeping bag out of the backseat as she approached, her footsteps crunching on dry pine needles. He turned with the sleeping bag in his arms. "What, you've changed your mind? Wait, I know. You want to carry it."

  "No." She stepped closer and lowered her voice. No point in letting the whole neighborhood know about her

  intentions. "I want you to unroll it, fur side up, on the backseat."

  He looked puzzled. "I thought you wanted—"

  "I do."

  "In there?"

  "Uh-huh."

  He glanced from the backseat to Zoe and to the backseat again. "Interesting idea."

  "I thought it might be."

  "One problem. I don't have a—"

  "Right here." She pulled the condom out of her pants pocket.

  He gazed at the condom for a moment. Then he looked at Zoe. "You have one hell of a sexual imagination, lady."

  She wondered if he'd tell her that she was crazy, wanting to have sex in the backseat of the car when they had a perfectly good bed inside. "And?"

  "And I really like that about you." He quickly took off the elastic strap holding the sleeping bag together and flipped the bag neatly onto the seat, fur side up.

  She was pleasantly surprised that he was willing and eager to fall in with her plans. She wouldn't have guessed it judging from their interactions over the past five years. But as of this weekend, her picture of him had totally changed.

  "Let me get in first." She handed him the condom.

  "I figured." His voice was husky with excitement. "You're the one who went bonkers over the fur."

  "When I was a teenager I had furry seat covers on my car." She climbed into the backseat and immediately pulled off her sweatshirt. The cool air hitting her breasts made her nipples tighten. She was already loving this concept.

  He leaned down and draped one arm over the open door as he peered inside. "So you've done this before?"

  "No. I wanted to, but I didn't trust high school boys to be careful about the pregnancy thing." She kicked off her shoes and shimmied out of her sweatpants. "You're bringing out all my repressed fantasies."

  "I'm flattered. Unfortunately, I've never done this."

  "Never? I thought all boys tried it at least once." She adjusted the sleeping bag on the seat.

  "What can I say? I'm a late bloomer."

  "Well, you sure did blossom nicely." She leaned back against the fur and pretended she was an Indian maiden about to be ravished by the local bad-boy warrior. "You're willing to give this a try, though, right?"

  "Oh yeah." He climbed into the car and closed the door with a soft click. Then he handed her the condom. "Hold on to that."

  She wondered if bad-boy warriors carried condoms. Probably not, but she didn't mind an anachronism or two. "This time I promise not to hide it between my thighs."

  "I recommend holding it between your teeth." He took his PDA from his shirt pocket and laid it in the back window.

  "I might need my mouth for other things. I'll put it up in the back window next to your PDA." Scooting over to make room for him to sit, Zoe realized how small the space truly was. "This might be trickier than I thought."

  "I suppose about now you're wishing I'd stuck with the Town Car." He laid his glasses beside the PDA and started unbuttoning his shirt.

  "Actually, no. I've changed my mind about that." The longer they were closed in here together, the more she liked it, even though the logistics would be challenging. He was right within touching distance. She ran a finger down the ridge of his spine.

  He shivered. "Mm, nice." He pulled off his shoes without untying the laces. "What's that about changing your mind?"

  "I think you should have whatever car suits your personality."

  "I'm thinking about a red Ferrari." He unzipped his pants.

  "You're not!"

  "I am." Because he hadn't put on his belt when they'd left for the Sasquatch hunt, all he had to do was wiggle out of his pants. That left him wearing his briefs, and those disappeared within seconds, too. "Where's the condom?"

  "Here." She handed it to him. Although he was close enough for her to put it on, she wanted to watch him do it, and he was right at eye level. But she acted as though she weren't watching, in case she made him self-conscious. "A Ferrari?"

  "Yeah."

  Moisture pooled in her mouth as he rolled the condom down over his penis. If she had a video of that, she'd put it on a continuous loop. Oh, baby.

  He completed the job with a snap of latex. Then he glanced down at her. "This could take some maneuvering."

  "How about if you kneel here, between my legs?" She squirmed with eagerness as she guided him to the right position and flopped back on the furry surface. Squirming felt so good while she was lying on soft fur.

  "I think I get the idea." He leaned forward, bracing his arms on either side of her head. Dipping down, he nibbled on her lips. "Wasn't this one of the gold medal moves in gymnastics?"

  "Want to give up?" She didn't think so. Judging from the musky scent of male arousal, he was as excited about this prospect as she was. Pheromones swirled through the interior of the little car.

  "Hell, no. I'm almost there. At least I think I am. I can't see a damned thing."

  "Leave the rest to me." She had no trouble finding his condom-covered penis. It was the most rigid thing within reach. When she took hold, he gasped. "Don't worry," she said. "I've got you."

  "It better be you. I hear there are raccoons in these woods."

  "It's me." She lifted her hips and reached for her sweatshirt on the floor. Once she bunched it under her, she was tilted at the perfect angle. Plus she was ultra-wet and ready to go. She made sure he was pointed in the right direction. "Rock forward."

  "I thought you'd never ask." He pushed in slowly at first, and then with more confidence. "Not bad. Not bad at all."

  "I would agree. I'd go so far as to say it's very good."

  "That's nice to know." He eased back and shoved home again.

  She felt the beginnings of an orgasm, one of those Flynn-inspired world-changing orgasms.

  "I'm guessing we shouldn't make too much noise out here."

  Although she loved making noise, especially with him, she decided he was right. It was, after all, the middle of the night, and Bigfoot had recently made an appearance. She didn't want Bigfoot hunters to mistake the sounds and come to investigate.

  "Guess not," she said. "But if I don't make noise, how will you know when I'm—"

  "Believe me, I'll know." He began to pump, slowly at first, and then with more speed. "I can feel when it happens."

  "Good." His rhythm made her think of a well-oiled machine, which made her think of expensive cars, which made her think of . . . "A Ferra
ri?"

  "Uh-huh." He stroked faster. "Not a Town Car. That's stodgy. A Ferrari."

  "Amazing." She wasn't talking about the car anymore. She was too busy being swept away by the pleasure he was giving her with both barrels.

  "Don't you think ... it fits?"

  Everything fit. Him with her. Her with him. "You betcha." As she felt the waves of another glorious climax roll over her, a climax he had engineered, she wondered if even a Ferrari was good enough for this incredible man.

  I can't bleepin' believe this. I get all my ducks in a row, everything arranged for the big moment, and these two sex maniacs are horizontal in the rental. Or mostly horizontal. I can see Flynn's feet sticking up, which guarantees that his Johnson is sticking somewhere else, and we all know where that is, don't we, boys and girls?

  Why in hell aren't they zonked out in the bedroom? Or at least porking each other in that bed, oblivious to everything? Their timing sucks dead donkeys. They're going to ruin everything unless they get back in that bedroom pronto. I should go over there and open the door, give them a freaking heart attack.

  On second thought, they'd never notice, not the way that car's rockin' and rollin'. He's giving it to her good all right. I can guarantee little miss movie queen has no clue how to make the most of it, though. It's all in the hips. I might come just thinking about it.

  Hallelujah, the car's rocking harder. Hey, dummies, could you come a little faster? Then get your butts back in the house where they belong. If you make it quick, I'll have a little surprise waiting for you.

  Once Flynn felt Zoe pulsing around him, he gave himself up to the demands of his own climax. When he came, he had to clench his jaw to keep from bellowing out his satisfaction.

  The blood roared in his ears, and the world seemed to crash down around him. He imagined planets colliding, volcanoes erupting, earthquakes ... wait a minute. Something big really had crashed to the ground. The sound was still echoing in his ears.

  Beneath him, Zoe tensed. "What was that?"

  "I don't know." Flynn pulled himself from his orgasm-induced lethargy. And this time he'd planned to finish the episode with all the cuddling and sweet talk Zoe could handle. So much for that idea. "I think we'd better find out."

  "It isn't Bigfoot. No smell."

  "Right." As he carefully disentangled himself from Zoe, he got a quick course in the shortcomings of car sex. He'd had heaps of fun, but now he was bare-assed and vulnerable while something unknown had made a really loud noise outside in the woods.

  And he had condom issues. Because he wasn't about to leave a used condom in a rental car, he was forced to litter. And he had to roll down the car window to do it.

  Rolling down the window right after something had crashed in the woods didn't seem wise. He remembered the old story about high school kids making out in parked cars while a guy with a hook for a hand prowled the night.

  He rolled up the window quickly and reached for his clothes.

  "Move over a little," Zoe said, "so I can get dressed, too."

  He scooted to one side as he struggled into his briefs. "I think you should stay here with the doors locked until I find out what this is all about."

  "Guess again."

  "No, really." He shoved one leg into his pants. "I'd feel better investigating if I didn't have to worry about whether you were safe."

  "Forget it, Flynn." She paused. "Or is there another reason you don't want me out there?"

  "Like what?" He lifted his hips long enough to quickly pull his pants up. Now he knew why he didn't camp. Getting dressed in confined spaces was a real pain. He leaned back so he could zip his fly.

  "Maybe you think it's Kristen and you want to deal with her alone."

  He stopped in mid-zip. He'd forgotten all about Kristen. Although he wasn't wearing his watch, he had to guess it was well after midnight. "That crash we heard has nothing to do with Kristen." He said if with conviction, zipping his fly for emphasis. He hoped it was true. In the middle of the night after a recent Bigfoot sighting, anything seemed possible.

  'Then I'm going with you." Zoe popped her sweatshirt over her head. "If it's a bear, two people will be more likely to scare it off than one."

  He hoped to God it wasn't a bear. He'd heard that they could become used to people food and invade cabins to get it. Sometimes if they couldn't get people food they had to settle for just plain people. Flynn would like to skip that situation altogether.

  As he untied his shoelaces, he marveled that he'd put shoes on without socks to hunt for Bigfoot and pulled them off still tied in order to have sex with Zoe. Apparently some sea change was going on inside him. Maybe he really would get that Ferrari.

  Finally he was dressed with his glasses on and his PDA tacked in his shirt pocket. He was ready. Scared, but ready. He turned to Zoe. "What can I do to convince you to stay in the car?"

  "Nothing. I'm going." She reached for the door handle on her side.

  "All right. But keep close." He opened his door at the same time she opened hers, so at least she wouldn't get the jump on him. If he ended up hanging out with Zoe on a regular basis, and who knew if that would happen, he'd have to get used to the fact that caution wasn't in her vocabulary.

  Until this weekend, it had been a favorite part of his. And what had that gotten him? A lucrative career but the wrong girlfriend. Apparently he couldn't use the same criteria in picking a wife that he'd used in building his law practice. Lesson learned.

  Zoe started toward the cabin. "I think the sound came from behind the cabin."

  "Hold it." He caught her arm. "Not so fast. Let's approach slowly until we know what we're dealing with."

  "But if it's a bear, we should make a lot of noise so maybe we'll scare it away."

  He had to admit she had a point. "Okay, slow approach, with lots of noise. Hey, you! Whoever's back there, we're coming around! And we're big, and mean, and we have... weapons!"

  "And one of us in this group thinks you speak English! Don't mind him! He's seen Brother Bear once too often!"

  Flynn glanced at her. "You're very loud, you know that?"

  She took a deep breath and belted out another line. "I'm projecting! That's what actors do!"

  "I hope it works. Mostly I hope we don't find a—" He stopped and stared at the cabin. "I know what made the noise."

  "What?" She glanced around. "I don't see anything." "Look at the roofline. See anything unusual about it?" She glanced up. "Oh ... my ... God. A tree fell on the cabin."

  "A big tree." Flynn kept looking, thinking maybe the scene would dissolve and he'd wake up, but nothing changed. A huge branch sprouted from the roof, and the rest of the tree had obviously crushed the back end of the cabin.

  Zoe swallowed. "This could put a real dent in my damage deposit."

  "Let's go see what it looks like from the back." But Flynn already had a hunch what the back would look like. Sure enough, the bedroom where they would have been sleeping if they hadn't been having car sex was demolished. The trunk lying in the midst of the rubble was as thick as an oil drum.

  When Zoe saw the crushed bedroom, she put her hand to her mouth.

  Flynn stepped closer and wrapped his arm around her. "I'm really glad you decided we should have sex in the car."

  Zoe began to tremble. "Do ... do you think... it was an accident?"

  "Wouldn't be hard to find out. Let's go see what the bottom of it looks like." He kept his arm around her shoulders as they followed the fine of the trunk to the base of the giant tree.

  Sometime, certainly not tonight or they would have heard it, the tree had been sawed three-quarters of the way through. After that, a couple of well-placed shims and some solid blows from a sledgehammer would have been enough to send it toppling straight for Zoe's bedroom.

  Flynn's blood ran cold. This was no spur-of-the-minute prank. It had taken advance planning. And if he and Zoe hadn't been in the car a few minutes ago, they might both be dead.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

&nb
sp; Okay, now I'm pissed." The more Zoe looked at that sawed-off tree trunk, the madder she got. All she'd wanted was a quiet weekend to prepare for her upcoming audition. "I don't know if this is the work of your girlfriend or some other nutcase, but I'm—"

  "Kristen sure as hell didn't cut down this tree!"

  Zoe faced him, ready to battle with somebody. He was handy. Too bad it was so dark out. A good fight was best conducted under full-spectrum lighting. "She could have hired it done, and don't tell me she couldn't."

  His jaw worked. "Of course it's possible, but she's not that kind of person. She's not a nutcase, as you put it."

  "How do I know that? She's the only one with a motive, Flynn. Exactly how long have you known her, anyway?"

  "Just a year, but that doesn't mean I don't know what kind of person—"

  "Only a year?" She crossed her arms. "And pray tell, how much of that was face-to-face?"

  "Several weekends' worth. But it doesn't matter." His mouth thinned into a mutinous line. "We've been in constant communication."

  "Yeah, with e-mail and phone calls, am I right? And there's an important element missing there, something that is an actor's stock-in-trade. It's called body language. Without that, you have no idea what people are really thinking."

  "My friend Josh likes her!"

  "Bully for your friend Josh. Did he grow up with her? Work with her for years? What's the basis of this friendship?"

  "He . . . he met her when she was hired last summer. But he's a great judge of character. If there was something off about Kristen he would have picked up on it."

  She rocked back on her heels. "I'm sorry, Flynn. That's not good enough. We have a situation here and the finger points at Kristen. I don't think either you or your friend Josh knows her well enough to vouch for her character."

  "I know her as well as I know you!"

  She glared at him. "Oh yeah? How many Bigfoot hunts has she been on with you? How many times has she risked her body in the interests of your particular passion for Sasquatch? We are bonded, buddy!"

 

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