My hand keeps moving down his body. It glides over the tight grooves of his abs, then continues lower, and lower, and lower.
I bite my lip as I begin to stroke him. His sex starts to swell immediately in my palm.
“And I thought you’d had enough,” he murmurs in a low, raspy voice.
I shake my head. A diabolical excitement grows within me. “Nope.”
“Woman, you keep acting like this—” I yelp as Stonehart sweeps me off my feet and carries me to the bed, “and I might never want to leave this island.
So much the better, I think slyly.
And I grab his hair and kiss him.
Chapter Fifteen
The next few days pass like a dream. Stonehart wasn’t kidding when he said his time here would be dedicated fully to me.
We go swimming. We sunbathe. We explore the wilderness in the back. I haven’t encountered any yellow-stripped frogs—either figuratively or literally.
Stonehart is… well, the best way I can describe it is that he is finally Jeremy. Not Stonehart, but Jeremy. Not cold and calculating but deep, thoughtful, and kind.
If only things were always this way.
The children leave us alone the first day, probably on request of their parents. But, they reappear on the second, and every day thereafter.
Before setting foot on this island, I’d have expected Stonehart to be against such intrusions on our time together. But Jeremy, the new man I see who’s evidence of yet another layer to his psyche, takes it all in stride. More than that. He loves it. He runs around on the beach with the boys, sits down and chats with the girl, helps her set out food, or drinks, or whatever other small errand her mother has delegated to her.
I learn their names. The boys are Aldo, Diego, and Matias. The girl is Luciana. I even pick up a few words of Hispanic: concha da mar, which means seashell, like the one I keep treasured as a gift, and muchacha bonita, which means something along the lines of “the most beautiful woman to walk the face of the earth.”
Jeremy taught me that one.
Two days in, I go on an adventure in the wilds with two of the boys. They have a great time laughing at me when an enormous, red something bursts up from the ground and makes me shriek and drop down. Diego grabs my hand and points up, showing me the magnificent red parrot that’s taken residence on one of the higher branches.
The kids, even though they’re close to each other in age, are as different as can be. Matias, the youngest, is by far the biggest troublemaker. Diego, the one in the middle, is reserved and thoughtful… until something new and shiny grabs his attention, and then he’s as spontaneous as can be. Aldo, who gave me the shell, is actually the quietest of the bunch. I can see how he takes care of his brothers and sister, as the oldest.
They’re all best friends. I guess they have to be, with no other kids anywhere, but their affection for each other is contagious. I could tell, even if I never met Manuela or Jose, that they have great parents.
Taking a few hours each day to horse around with the kids is fun. It’s also something I never, ever expected a chance to do—not while serving Stonehart’s five years. But on this island, I’m learning how different things could be.
Could. That’s the most important, operative distinction. Time here shows me how things could be, in a different life, in a different world, in a different existence.
It is not how things are. It’s not going to fool me into wavering and forgetting my purpose when we return to America. That will never happen again.
That doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy myself for now. And I do. Immensely. Whether it’s with Jeremy or with the kids, everything that happens feels like it’s bathed in a soft, ethereal glow.
And speaking of Jeremy… well, like I said before, if we were in any other circumstance, the things he’s been doing would be enough to make me start falling in love. He’s sweet and compassionate. He places my needs and desires above his own.
Actually, that’s not exactly true. Probably it’s more that, so often, his desires line up quite well with mine.
He and I discover a hidden waterfall together, nestled deep in a lush, green forest glade. We climb to the top and look out, and then he surprises me—and makes my heart leap to my throat—when, laughing, he rips his shirt off and dives into the sparkling water below.
I rush to the edge and look down. All I can see is a small disturbance in the water where he dove in, quickly being obscured by the rushing stream from the waterfall.
“Are you insane?” I scream at him when he surfaces. “You could have gotten yourself killed! How’d you know the water wasn’t shallow?”
He laughs and sweeps his wet hair back. “Don’t act like that’d be such a great loss for you.”
“It would!” I yell, trying hard to make my voice carry over the sound of the falling water. “If you die, I’d be stranded here!”
“Manuela and Jose would take care of you,” he smirks. “Not that bad.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t want to be stranded on a remote Caribbean island forever!”
“You know what I think?” Jeremy asks.
“What?” I shoot back.
“I think that your concern for my well-being might actually be genuine.”
“No shit it’s genuine!” I yell, immensely annoyed with his casual nonchalance. I creep closer to the edge. “It—”
I don’t get to finish my sentence. My foot slips on a wet rock and slides out from under me.
I fall hard on my butt. The air leaves my lungs in a grunt. Overpowering terror fills me as I start to slide forward on the down-slope. Before I can so much as scream, I’m hurtling off the ledge, falling through the air, reaching, grabbing, grasping for anything to stop my fall.
There’s nothing. Cold air rushes over my face. The drop feels endless. My side collides with the hard surface of the water, at an impossibly awkward angle. Pain shoots through me, followed by an immediate numbness that encompasses the left half of my body. On instinct, I try to draw breath, but find nothing but water filling my mouth and nostrils .
I kick with all the strength in my legs, desperate for the surface. I spin too far and lose my orientation. I cannot tell up from down.
Panic overtakes me. I fight the water, clawing and kicking and twisting. But, the suffocating liquid surrounds me. My lungs cry out for air. The convulsive reflex makes me cough. More water rushes in.
I know, in the most pivotal place of my heart, that I am drowning.
Two strong hands grip me under the arms. A moment later—though it seems like a lifetime to my terror-stricken psyche—I break the surface.
I don’t know what happens next. I have only a moment before my oxygen-starved brain blacks out.
Chapter Sixteen
I open my eyes slowly. It’s dark. There’s a harsh stinging in the back of my throat.
I hear the rustle of running feet, then a door open and closes. A moment later, a dim overhead light comes on.
“Lilly.” It’s Stonehart. His voice comes from behind me. I crane my neck to look back, but he’s at my side in an instant.
He takes my hand and grips it tight. I can feel the stress pulsing through him. I look at him, then past him. It takes me a long time to recognize the space we’re in as the bedroom.
“How did I get here?” I ask weakly.
“I carried you,” he says. “I was so worried.”
“About little old me?” I give a strained smile. I feel weak, probably from a mixture of dehydration, lack of food, and my most recent misadventure. “Hey, I’m tougher than you think.”
“You’ve been out for two days,” he tells me.
That’s when I see his red-rimmed eyes. His untrimmed facial hair. His crumpled shirt.
He looks awful. Worse than I’ve ever seen him. Here is a man who looks like he has been to the precipice of hell and back.
“Lilly… what happened…. was my fault.” His hand tightens around mine. “I was careless, and you got hurt. I can’t f
orgive myself for that.”
Of all the things he can be repentant about, he chooses this?
“I haven’t left your side once,” he tells me. “Manuela and the others are in the adjacent room. They’ve been worried sick.”
“Tell them… that I’m fine.” I start to push myself up. “Just a little hungry.”
“No.” Stonehart’s hands grip my shoulders. He eases me down. “Stay there. Don’t move. Whatever you need, I’ll get for you.”
He’s caring for me. Again. Somewhere deep inside, a tiny grain of hope emerges and tells me that maybe, this side of Stonehart is candid. Or at least, that it comes from an honest place of concern.
I settle back. There’s a certain comfort knowing I’m being looked after by such a capable man. By Jeremy. Not by Rose, not by Stonehart, but by Jeremy.
I also find his concern to be very sweet. Nobody could fake such dedication. If he truly hasn’t left my side once…
“Where were you when I woke up?” I ask suddenly.
“On the phone. Outside. I was about to order a chopper flown in to take you to a hospital. It’s lucky you woke up when you did.
“Manuela checked on you when I brought you here. The islanders have more experience with water than anybody I know. They have to. Their lives revolve around it. When I told her what had happened, she examined you, and assured me you’d be fine. Eventually. But God knows what happened to you underwater. I couldn’t tell if you hit your head or had a concussion. There wasn’t any visible sign of damage, but still…”
He trails off, his jaw muscles working as he looks away. He seems to be on the verge of admitting something, maybe doing something, but is struck by indecision.
“Still what?” I ask quietly.
“Still, I didn’t want to take the risk,” he finally admits. By his expression and tone, I know that’s not what he wanted to say originally. “I didn’t know how you’d react if you woke up and found yourself in a hospital room. That was the last thing I wanted to subject you to.”
Because a hospital bed puts me outside of your control, I think.
I keep my mouth shut.
"Manuela insisted that you’d be fine. But, every hour that passed put me more and more on edge. I set a deadline. If you didn’t improve by nine tonight, I’d call the helicopter in.”
“What time is it now?”
Stonehart leans forward and kisses my forehead. “Eight-twenty. You really know how to keep a man on edge.”
“Huh.” I look at the ceiling and consider everything he’s said. Another half-hour, and I’d have been airlifted to Florida.
Is it a good thing that I woke up when I did? I don’t know. Truth be told, coming to in a hospital room probably would have been traumatic. I’d have no idea how to act. What would I do, in my current state of mind, if I found myself surrounded by doctors and nurses and other people? What would they think about the collar? What would I be allowed to say? Would the brooch be on?
Maybe it’s for the best that I woke up now. This way, there’s no uncertainty. This way, I can stick to my original plan, without being tempted by new possibilities.
“There’s something I’ve been waiting to do,” Stonehart says, breaking into my thoughts. “I made the decision as I was carrying you back.”
“Oh?” I look up at him, and see his unquestionable sincerity. My heart begins to flutter, just a little bit. “What?”
“One second.” Stonehart glances over his shoulder. “I think you’ve got guests.”
I lift my head and see Luciana peeking in from the door.
“Esta buena,” Stonehart says. “Tell your family she wants to see them.”
Luciana nods and runs off. Moments later, I’m surrounded by the family, relief mingling with concern on their features.
Manuela gives me something cold to drink, and helps bring the cup to my lips. Then she scolds her children for being too loud. I don’t understand the words, but I can tell by their reaction.
I ask Stonehart to let her know that they’re not a problem. He does, but still, after only a few minutes, Manuela takes everyone away and leaves me alone with Stonehart once again.
“I think you’re their new favorite,” he mutters as the door closes. “You’ve surpassed even me.”
“I doubt anybody can ever do that,” I say. “They owe their lives to you.”
Kind of like I do.
“Hmm.” He gazes at the door. After a minute, he walks over and locks it. “I don’t want any interruptions,” he says.
He turns to face me. There’s a serious, almost solemn expression on his face. I’ve never seen Stonehart stressed—until now.
He looks visibly tired. That is by far a first.
It makes me realize that, somewhere deep down, he really is just a man. Sure, he can act the monster. He can be completely heartless and cold and without compassion… but all those faults come from somewhere. From some base that drives him to do what he does.
Stonehart is complicated. Nobody would ever deny that. Hell, even people who’ve only known him from afar would agree. But, I’ve seen all the different sides of him. I’ve seen him cold. I’ve seen him angry. I’ve seen him domineering, volatile, and unpredictable.
I’ve also seen him sweet. I’ve seen the kindness he is sometimes capable of. It’s not enough to overcome all the things he’s done that exist at the other end of the spectrum. However, it’s somehow reassuring to know that Yes, the capacity for kindness is still there. It hasn’t been wiped away by the persona he’s built for himself.
“Lilly.” He says my name tenderly. Like a true lover. His voice, which has always held such power over me, affects me in the most primitive way.
I can’t help but respond to it. It reaches into my soul and tugs on my very heartstrings—especially when my name comes from his lips, sounding like that.
“Yes?’ I whisper. My heart is fluttering unsteadily in my chest. It adds to the anticipation of what it so come. I have no idea what that might be, but some intuition borne of being so long around Stonehart tells me it’s not going to be bad.
“When you were out,” he begins, walking slowly toward me, “I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t eat. My thoughts revolved solely around you. And all I felt was this overwhelming guilt. I did this, I told myself. I am the one at fault.”
I shake my head. “It’s not like that. I don’t blame you! It was an accident. I slipped and fell. Besides…” I swallow, remembering his arms catching me underwater, “…you saved me.”
“You wouldn’t have been in a position to need saving if it hadn’t been for me!”
The outburst makes me shy back. He looks pained now, and angry. I can tell, however, that—for the first time—he’s not angry with me, but with himself.
He takes a deep breath that makes his chest swell. “I’m sorry,” he says. “You know how I hate to yell. But Lily, around you… I feel emotions coming to life inside me that I haven’t felt in years. In decades.”
He sits on the side of the bed. He runs one hand through his hair, and looks into the distance when he speaks. The low light adds gravity to his words.
“You have to understand… who I am,” he says. “And I cannot tell you everything. Not now. Not yet.
“But once I told you a story of my past. Of my father, of my brothers. I have not spoken to them since I was a teenager, you know.
“My whole life has been built around vengeance. I know it’s a horrible thing to say, but I’m not one to mince words. Honesty, especially with yourself, is critical for a man of my position.
“I never thought I’d be admitting these things to another soul. I’m…” his long fingers tighten on the edge of the mattress, and he swallows, then he turns even farther away from me. “I’m not ready yet, Lilly. All I ask of you is a little patience. With me. Please.”
He sounds so very sincere. No man can act this well. I decide that, holy shit, he is sincere.
I reach out and place one hand on top of his. He move
s his head slowly, as if it’s a great weight, and follows, from the shoulder down, the length of his arm. His eyes settle on our linked fingers. Then, after a somber moment, he raises his gaze to mine.
When I see his dark pupils, reflected in the flickering light, disbelief fills me. It might just be a trick of the dark, but I think that, for a moment, his eyes are actually glistening. Wet. As in, with tears.
He looks away before I can get a better read on it. But that brief glance is enough to make me feel like I’ve been run over by a truck.
Stonehart, crying? Stonehart, showing one of the most genuine of human reactions?
I can’t believe it.
He flips his hand over and takes hold of mine. Warmth creeps up my arm.
“I can do that,” I say softly.
“Thank you,” he says. Then he continues. “I wanted revenge against my father. I got that. I wanted revenge against my brothers. I got that, too. My life has been predicated on seeing justice done to those who’ve wronged me. It is what made me who I am. I offer no apologies for my actions. I live without regret. The only way to do that, however, is to bar yourself from the world. To live without emotion, without compassion. Without… love.”
Abruptly, he stands. He begins to pace the room, his jaw clenching and unclenching between his stunted sentences.
“I did it all, you know. Everything I’ve ever wanted. I got for myself. The chips began to fall into place with the founding of Stonehart Industries. The name—that name—” he laughs without humor, “—was a childhood dream. I hated my real last name. Hated it. You know why, Lilly? Because I owed it to my father. Because it was a constant reminder of my link to him.
“Well, as soon as I could, I severed that link. I cut all ties to my family. To everyone… except the one person who treated me right. Except my mother.”
“Do you still speak with her?” I ask.
“She’s dead.”
A deep silence fills the room. I feel ill. Queasy. What was I thinking, asking such a stupid question?
Uncovering You 5: Confessions Page 12
