“You’ve seen him driving around Grand Haven?” I asked, stunned.
“And I’m feeling really secure about our relationship right now that that’s the question you want to ask me at this moment.”
“Sorry, you just never mentioned it before.”
“Yeah, well, I have seen his car and…crap, I totally see your point because right now I’m feeling jealous over stupid Jack Brogger, who couldn’t even legally date you because you’re fifteen—”
“Practically sixteen,” I said.
“And he’s what—thirty-five?”
“Seventeen. His birthday was in February.”
“How do you know that?” he asked.
“I’m a fan, how could I not know that?”
“You’re not helping my insecurity on this one,” he said.
“But you know I’m not running off with Jack.”
“I used to know that, but once again I’m wondering if that’s just because you don’t know him. If he was willing, I’m kind of feeling like it’d be, ‘Nick, who?’”
“He may be rich and hot and famous, but—”
“Not helping, Hadley. Seriously, not helping.”
“—but, he’s not you. He doesn’t have ice cream places make me customized shakes and send me smoochy smiley faces. And I’d rather hang out with you and just sit and talk than be with anyone else in the world,” I said.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“I feel the same way. I see how Connor is with every girl he dates and how crazy Reagan and Simone and Morgan and all of them get with being so up and down in relationships. I love that we’re not like that. I like that we’re best friends and we can talk about anything,” he said. “Oh, my mom is texting me that she needs me to come home so I have to get off the phone, but we’re cool now?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. I love you, Hadley,” he said.
“I love you too.”
I hung up and saw I had a text from Simone. I didn’t feel like talking to her, so I wrote that Nick and I were fine and I had a ton of homework to do.
A half hour later Pilar called me.
“Okay, so Simone just left and I wanted to know what happened with you and Nick,” she said. “He seemed happy when he left.”
I felt weird talking to her about this because although she hadn’t done anything to show I couldn’t trust her…I was still uncomfortable. I mean, when I first moved to Grand Haven she hardly spoke to me or noticed my existence. And she was friends with Simone and Reagan.
“Oh, before I forget, I wanted to say thanks for checking in again about my grandma. You’re the only one other than Nick who did,” she said in a quiet tone.
“How is she doing?”
“Having trouble with her right arm. They have to feed her now, but she’s going to go to physical therapy and speech therapy. My mom’s a nervous wreck and honestly, every time the phone rings I about wet my pants, but whatever. Anyway, take my mind off this and tell me about you and Nick,” she said.
I told her what happened between us.
“Okay, so why did he walk out of here smiling like he won the lottery and you seem so hesitant? If the guy I liked told me he loved me, I’d be doing cartwheels in the street,” she said.
“No, I’m thrilled. I mean, he’s the greatest.”
“Yeah, and I believe you feel that way, but I can tell something’s up with you. Spill.”
“This is just between us, okay?” I said.
“Girl, you’re the only one who knows I still like Lucas, so I’m not about to say a thing. Spill.”
I sighed. “Part of me loves we have that whole best friend thing as well, but it’s still nagging at me that he calls me cutie instead of beautiful and that maybe he doesn’t see us as this passionate couple, but as friends in love. I am so crazy about him, but…”
“You want to know if he loves you the way you love him? Like, does he love you or is he in love with you?”
That was it exactly. “Yup.”
“Well, I haven’t been around you guys a ton, but I am around him a lot and I can tell you he lights up when he talks about you, and he didn’t do that with Reagan,” she said. “I’ll be honest with you, he did get moony over Simone and he did gush and look at her like she hung the moon back before he met you, but the way he talks about you is the way I want a guy to talk about me.”
“So you think he’s in love or just best friend love?” I asked.
“I’d say in love. And if that’s not love, then seriously, I’d settle for that.”
“But everyone says he and Reagan were all over each other and…I mean, he likes me, but we don’t have that kind of over the top relationship.”
“Yeah, but they’re not together anymore. And that whole passionate, up against the lockers, kissing in the hall stuff doesn’t last. You and Nick seem like you’ll last. Plus, he’s been talking about what to do for your birthday, so he’s definitely looking into the future with you.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, at the fair he asked Charlotte about present ideas. She was no help, so he asked Asia and she said she’d try to get some ideas for him.”
“So I shouldn’t worry?”
“About Simone? No, she and Chase were texting all night when she was here. She was supposed to come over to keep me distracted from this thing with my grandma and all she did was message him the whole time,” Pilar said. “People suck.”
Chapter Fourteen
The next day at school Asia was waiting for me at my locker. “So I heard you guys said the L-word,” she said, smiling.
“Nick told you?”
“No, he told Connor, who was making fun of him, and most of us overheard. That’s so awesome.”
I wondered if she knew about the fight we had over Simone. “Did he say anything else?”
“Just that you’re the most awesome girlfriend on the planet,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Between you and Simone, I’m about to puke.”
“Why? What’s up?”
“Oh, she won’t shut up about how Chase is the hottest thing to ever walk the earth. She wrote Mrs. Chase Wagner on her notebook. I’m wondering if he’ll pooh himself if he sees it. Would it be wrong to knock it out of her hands in front of him?” she said, laughing.
I smiled. “I haven’t done that with Nick, but I have written Mrs. Hadley Brogger all over my binder from last year.”
“Don’t be mad, but so did I,” she said, cracking up. “Actually, Asia Milanowski-Brogger. I’ve decided to hyphenate.”
“Nice.”
“So remember how Simone found those matching necklaces she wanted us to get, but they were sold out by the time we went there?”
“Oh, I forgot about those. Yeah.”
“Well, my mom got a MantraBand bracelet for her birthday and I was thinking we could all get one of those. We could each pick out a mantra that meant something special to us. We don’t have to get the same ones, but we’d all have one—you know?”
“Yeah, that’d be cool.”
“But it would just be Simone, you, me, and Charlotte.”
“Maybe we want to include Pilar in it,” I said.
“Okay, sure. I’ll ask her. I just think Morgan wouldn’t be into it and I’m not that close with Reagan, you know?”
I nodded.
“I’ll email you the website later and you can see which one you like. I’ll mention it to Pilar when I see her in class. Talk to ya later,” she said over her shoulder as she went down the hall.
After school, Nick waited for me at my locker. “Char said to go on without her. She’s got to meet with her science teacher,” he said. “So it’s just you and me. And if anyone else wants to walk with us, we’re saying we both have Ebola and it’s not safe to be near us.”
“Works for me.”
He slid his hand into mine as we walked down the sidewalk. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Simone coming out of the side door. Crap, keep walking. Look strai
ght ahead.
“The light’s about the change,” Nick said.
“Come on, we can make it before it turns red,” I said, tugging his arm.
“You in a hurry to get home?”
No, I just want to put some distance between us and Simone. “No, no rush.”
He laughed. “Okay.” Then he put his arm around me.
We got to my driveway and he glanced up at the house. “Coast looks clear,” he said, and we kissed.
“I’ll message you later,” he said.
I got into the house and saw I had a message from Pilar.
Pilar: OMG. I love these bracelets. I think I want to get one that says Strength, Hope, Courage, or the Believe one. You know, because of everything going on with my grandma. Is that lame?
Me: I think that’s a great idea. I haven’t picked mine yet. Do they have a lot to choose from?
Pilar: A ton.
Then she sent me the link.
Me: The Be True. Be You. Be Kind one kinds of speaks to me.
Pilar: Simone wants Chase to get her one. I think she’s moving kind of fast with him. He’s not exactly reliable and I think she feels like this time will be different.
Me: I hope it will be.
I did want Simone to be happy, but I had to admit that it would be better for me if she was off with Chase and not doing that cutesy flirting with Nick.
Pilar: Have you heard anything about Reagan and Lucas? Last I heard he was bummed she ditched him for a senior.
Me: Same here.
Pilar: My mom just got home. We’re going to see Grandma. TTYL.
Charlotte texted and asked if I wanted to come over. I knew my parents wouldn’t care, so I sent my mom a text and headed over to her house.
She and her grandpa were watching an entertainment news program when I came over. I loved how Mr. Lidstrom was as into celebs and soaps as we were. It was sweet the way he took an interest in everything Char liked. But it hit me that he was older than Nick’s grandpa. I knew Nick’s grandpa had been affected by the anesthesia that brought all that on, but Mr. Lidstrom was Char’s only living relative—he acted as her mom and her dad. What would she do if something happened to him? And did she worry about that?
“Ladies, there’s an old Hollywood biography marathon on tonight. You up for it?” Mr. Lidstrom asked.
“Sure,” Charlotte said.
“Okay, first up is romantic relationships from Hollywood’s past. It says, Relive the days of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio, Frank Sinatra and Ava Gardner, and more.”
“I only recognize a few of those names,” I said. “Marilyn, Elizabeth, and Frank.”
“Then you are in for an education,” Mr. Lidstrom said.
The show started and at first I was taken in by all the gorgeous dresses and how pretty Elizabeth Taylor was, but pretty soon I realized all three of the couples had the same things in common. They were all good-looking and the guys were super into how pretty the women were. And all three of the couples had the kind of relationships where they were fighting one minute and super in love the next.
“Frank didn’t want to live without Ava,” the voice over guy said. “Joe didn’t want to live without Marilyn, and Richard couldn’t live without Elizabeth. Passion, beauty, lust. These are Hollywood’s golden couples.”
I felt like throwing up. They had the kind of relationships that Reagan and Nick had, and what he would have had if he and Simone had gotten together. And all of these people had been dead for years and they were still talking about their “passionate love affairs.” Ugh.
I told Charlotte how I felt after her grandpa got up to answer the phone.
“Oh wow, yeah. But, Hadley, it seems like the guys were maybe a little too into how these women looked physically. And they kind of implied Joe got crazy with Marilyn out of jealousy,” she said.
“I missed that part.”
“I mean, sure they were super into each other, but—”
“Liz and Richard got back together and it sounded like Joe wanted Marilyn back,” I said.
“But you’re missing the bigger picture. None of these couples lasted. And not one of those relationships sounded healthy.”
I stopped. Charlotte was levelheaded, but sometimes she saw things so black and white that I didn’t know if she took emotions into account.
“But Joe loved Marilyn until he died. And Liz kept Richard’s last letter to her until she died,” I said.
“Yeah, but they might have been in love with a fantasy because the other person was gone. It’s easy to love someone who isn’t around and just focus on the good ol’ days,” she said.
“Yeah, but they’re not making documentaries about the couples who became best friends and went on to live happily ever after without passionate fights and makeups.”
“Next up: the story of Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward,” the announcer said.
“Maybe a lot of the lasting Hollywood marriages were with actors and regular people and the media didn’t find them as interesting so you don’t hear about them,” Char said.
I shrugged. “Yeah, but it would sure suck to be the ‘regular person’ married to some hot actor who has all these actresses and other women throwing themselves at him.”
“Yeah, like that Connor guy. It seems like almost every girl in school has had a crush on him at one time or another.”
“Not me,” I said. “He’s so full of himself. I don’t get how they all find him so cute.”
“Yeah, I don’t see it either. I think it’s because you and I see his personality over his looks.”
I nodded. “Makes sense. Simone’s new boyfriend, Chase, seems cute.”
“Uh-huh, and he knows it,” Charlotte said. “They went out before. He’s not the type to be in a relationship and I think she likes the idea of being the one he’ll settle down with. It’s not that he’s a cheater or anything, he just says he doesn’t want a serious girlfriend.”
I shifted. “I hope it works out for them.”
“There’s no way it can. He’s not that type. You can’t make someone be something they’re not.”
I went home and got a text from Nick right as I was getting into bed.
Nick: Hey, was hoping to hear from you. You okay?
Me: Yup, was at Charlotte’s tonight.
Nick: Cool. It’s weird, but it doesn’t feel right going to sleep without talking to you first. Is that lame?
I smiled as I texted back.
Me: Nope :)
Nick: I better get to sleep. See ya tomorrow. <3 <3 <3
Seeing the hearts made my own skip.
Me: Night xoxo
Nick: Love you.
It was the first time he had written it and I melted. I felt weird about writing that back though. It just seemed like a huge step—bigger than saying it, so I just texted back hearts.
Me: <3 <3
Chapter Fifteen
I woke up and saw I had a new message from Nick.
Nick: Morning, cutie. Hope you slept well. Can’t wait to see you later. Want to hang out after school? <3
Me: Would love to. Can’t wait. Xoxo
I walked to school with Charlotte and noticed none of our friends were sitting in our usual spot. I went to class and Simone wasn’t there yet. She slipped in after the late bell and never turned around to say hi. As soon as class was over, she bolted out of the room.
Simone wasn’t at lunch either and I noticed Morgan and Asia were gone as well.
“Hey, can I sit with you?” Pilar asked.
“Sure. Where is everybody?”
Her eyes widened. “You didn’t hear? Chase broke up with Simone. He told her she was being too clingy and needy and he couldn’t handle it. She’s devastated.”
My stomach rolled over. “But I thought this time was supposed to be different. I mean, didn’t you say they were texting all the time?”
“Yeah, and apparently that was driving him nuts. He told Connor that he was try
ing to watch a game and she kept sending him messages and when he didn’t answer, she called him.”
“Is she going to be okay?” I asked. “I mean, she’s been through a lot of breakups, she’ll be fine, right?”
“I dunno. This time feels different. In the past, it was just little arguments or whatever, but this time she was full out rejected and she liked him a lot.”
“Maybe it was a misunderstanding. After all, none of her relationships have ever been that serious. He might have thought she wanted a total commitment, but—”
“No, he said she was deleting girls’ numbers from his phone and asking who certain texts were from,” Pilar said.
“Well, he shouldn’t be texting other girls if he’s seeing her.”
“Yeah, but these were from a month ago. I’ve never seen her this way. She was even talking about them being together when he goes away to college and asking where he was applying so down the road she could go there too—Hadley, that’s two years away. No wonder he freaked out.”
I bit my lip. “That’s not like her at all. She doesn’t even get magazine subscriptions because she says she doesn’t know for sure if she’ll still be living here or back in Hollywood.”
“I know! She can’t commit to an ice cream flavor and yet she suddenly wanted Chase to be planning a future with her.”
“I wonder what happened to change her mind,” I said as Charlotte came and joined us.
“Did you hear about Simone and Chase?” she asked. I nodded and could tell Char wanted to ask me more about it, but wasn’t going to with Pilar there.
“On the plus side, Lucas and Reagan are back together so you don’t have to worry about her going after Nick,” Charlotte said.
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