A deep breath this time. “It’s a scary prospect, but after what I went through on that island, well, I know I’m ready to take risks. To start a fresh new life. I’ve applied to a few police agencies. The guys at the Pekin department, well, I think they probably realized what I’ve been telling them: that their CSI guy isn’t going to retire anytime soon. He’ll keep putting it off. They understood that I can’t wait anymore. I’m ready to start my life.” She made that squee sound he loved. “I’ll let you know where I land. Gosh, that was a lot of rambling. I sure hope there’s that option. Bye.”
He saved the message again and went back to the task at hand. Not chasing down bad guys. Not even thinking about chasing down bad guys. He continued scrolling through all the pictures on his computer from family gatherings. Looking for a Cole who’d been faithful. Because he still missed her, too.
He’d gone on a mission as a bodyguard to a diplomat in D.C. He’d been out at the bars with the guys in some lame attempt to try to cheer him up. Even though he’d told them a dozen times that he was fine.
But he wasn’t.
Because he still missed her.
They knew that, the asshats, because they’d tried to nudge him toward every pretty woman in the place. Go get her, Sax. She’s eyeing you, Saxy boy. She’ll make you forget about that pretty blonde you’re moping over.
He’d had zero, nada, absolutely no interest. In fact, his stomach tumbled at the mere thought of hooking up with some woman. So he got just shy of drunk and went home alone.
And knowing she missed him, well, that tugged on his heart big time.
Something she’d said pushed him onward: Aren’t our biggest regrets when we don’t do something we want to?
He kept searching, even going through the old photos that he’d had digitized for his momma as a surprise. Uncle Moses had been married to the same woman until his deathbed. Sax had never heard any rumors about him cheating. Same with his maternal grandparents. And his cousin, Sam, seemed happy in his ten-year marriage.
Except they were on his momma’s side of the family, which had nothing to do with Cole genetics.
Wait a minute. Sax was half his momma and half his daddy. Something in his heart shifted, dared to hope. He was half Cresswell, which meant the Cole genetic thing was diluted. If it was real at all.
He planted his elbows on the table, rubbing his temples. “The only place that gene exists is in the mind, planted there by every father to explain away his bad behavior.”
So all those women for whom he’d felt no sense of commitment were simply not the right women. And he was clearly not a man incapable of feeling the desire for something long-term.
Something Jennessy said when she’d admitted how she felt about him popped into his mind. That her biggest clue that he was a good guy was that he’d been trying to protect her, even at his own expense. She’d pointed out how he hadn’t ogled any of the naked women at the resort. He couldn’t even remember any woman but Jennessy. At the resort, at the bars his buddies had dragged him to, or any other woman he’d been with.
As he released that bullshit mantle, he knew he would always just see her. In fact, he needed to see her immediately.
—
Jennessy had left a message for Sax three days ago, and still no return call. A tiny hopeful part of her considered that maybe he was on some assignment and was out of a coverage area. He had warned her, after all, that he’d never looked back. But the sooner she faced that he obviously wasn’t sentimental about what had sparked between them, the better off she’d be.
She’d narrowed her future locale down to a list of five cities. This was the first time she’d get to choose where she would live. It was exhilarating. Scary. And that tiny part of her wished Sax was part of it. Okay, it wasn’t so tiny. She knew he was stationed out of Miami, and she’d initially included it on her list. This morning she’d struck it.
The doorbell rang. Her mom was at work, so Jennessy trudged to the door, hoping it wasn’t Lane again. He’d come by yesterday begging for another chance. Now that she’d experienced what being in love really felt like, it had been more than easy to close the door in his face.
From the shape of the male silhouette she could see through the wavy glass panels, she thought, yep, Lane had come back. She jerked the door open while saying, “I do not want to see you…” Her mouth dropped open, the rest of her words vanishing.
Sax lowered his chin, a pout on his face. “I know, I’ve been a total asshat. The most amazing, courageous, smartest woman I’ve ever met, and I let you go. And then, even though I listened to your message about a thousand times, I didn’t call you back.” He stepped inside her doorway. “I don’t blame you one bit for not wanting to see me again, but I have to see you. Because if I don’t do this now, I think I might wither up and die.”
He gathered her close and kissed her, parting her lips and sweeping into her mouth with his tongue. Slow and languorous, and yet, with the hunger he’d spoken of. She joined the kiss in the same hungry way, and she was instantly back on the island. Sunshine, ocean breezes…and Sax. He slowed the kiss, but deepened it again, as though he couldn’t get enough of her.
Sax was here. Here! She did an inner squee even as her logical brain asked, Why?
When he seemed to try to close the kiss, she stepped back so she could get an answer.
“I thought you’d kick me in the nuts or something,” he said. “But I wasn’t going to let you do the same stupid thing I did to you—send me away.”
She tilted her head. “I thought you were Lane. He came by yesterday wanting a second chance, and all I could see through the glass was that a guy stood there.” She wrapped her hand around his wrist and pulled him inside, seeing the nosy neighbor watching. “I’m not sending you away.” She kicked the door closed.
He actually looked relieved, bless his heart. “Good, ’cause I’m not going anywhere.” He wrinkled his nose. “Be messy, you trying to kick me out, me on my knees in your front yard refusing to go anywhere because I’m totally, completely in love with you. People with cameras would be posting video clips on YouTube under the category of fools-who-nearly-made-the-biggest-mistake-of-their-lives.” His expression sobered. “It is ‘nearly,’ isn’t it? And not definitely too late, I’ve moved on?”
She threw her arms around him, breathing him in, running her fingers through his hair. “I haven’t moved on. Not for lack of trying, especially when you didn’t return my call. And you were the one who asked me to call!”
He dropped his chin, pressing his forehead against hers. “I know. I was trying valiantly to save you from me. But I couldn’t move on either. I felt all kinds of miserable. Even my job, much as I love it, didn’t feel as fulfilling anymore. Then I remembered something a very smart woman told me.” He softly chucked her chin. “Did you know that at a resort full of naked women, I only noticed one of them?”
She grinned as her heart filled with joy. “Is that so?”
“It is. And I’ve been thinking about that woman every day since we parted. That’s never happened. And, in fact, I’ve never felt this way about any woman. Which made me realize that it’s not some non-commitment gene. It’s me not having met a woman who made me want to commit…until you.” His green eyes sparkled with his smile as he dipped down and captured her mouth again. When he finally pulled away, he asked, “So, where are you thinking of relocating?”
“I have some ideas, but nothing concrete.” She tilted her head. “Any suggestions?”
“Miami’s nice this time of year. Heck, anytime of year. And it has lots of crime to process.”
She pretended to mull it over, chewing her lower lip. “Miami, huh? I do love CSI: Miami. All those scenes they flash with the beaches and yachts and skylines. I think that could work.”
“Maybe you should come for a visit, see if it’s a good fit. As it turns out, I’m looking for a place to live myself. I’ve been staying at Chase’s island compound, but it’s time to settle in. You k
now, make a commitment.” He gave her a meaningful look. “You could help me find something.”
“I would love to help you find something.”
“Darlin’, you already have.” He dipped down and gave her another kiss. “You already have.”
Epilogue
THREE WEEKS LATER…
Sax woke up in heaven, and he hadn’t even had to die to get there. Jennessy’s warm body was plastered all along his, her leg slung over his thigh. Her hair was a crazy mass of curls in the morning, and he loved it. He’d bury his fingers in them, and then his face in them. Then he’d bury his face in other places.
Yeah. Heaven.
“You have that smile again,” she teased in her husky morning voice.
He ran his hand down her back and cupped her ass. “When don’t I have this smile on my face?”
“True.” She tweaked his cheek.
They’d spent the last two weeks looking at apartments. They hadn’t actually talked about living together. Seemed too early to officially ask her, but he was taking note of which apartments made her squee. For now, they were still at Chase’s, enjoying their own bit of island paradise.
Before he could do a thing about his morning wood, the phone rang. It was the ring he’d assigned to the office, which meant a necessary answer. He rolled over and snatched up the phone, then fell back into bed. “ ’Lo. You’re on speakerphone.”
“Morning, Sax, it’s Mollie. I hope I’m not, er, disturbing you.” She laughed. “Of course I am.” Her voice got a little dreamy when she said, “I remember when I first moved in with Julian.”
“Thank you for your understanding. It’s nothing we can’t pick up after I hang up.”
“Sorry, but you’ll have to nudge yourself out of bed and report to the conference room in thirty minutes. Chase has an update on the trafficking situation. Bring Jennessy with you. Addie’s going to get in some practice at the firing range and she’d love company while, as she put it, all you danger junkies get ready for a mission she doesn’t want to know anything about. Unfortunately, I don’t have that luxury.”
“I guess handling Chase’s administrative business puts you smack dab in the middle of it.”
“The only thing that helps is knowing how competent Julian is. How competent all of you are. And still, it’s nerve-racking. It’s like having three brothers and a fiancé in the armed services. Have you seen my nails? Bitten to the quick!”
“Sorry about that, d—Mollie.” He didn’t call anyone but Jennessy darlin’ these days. “But you knew what you were getting into.”
“Ha. As if I had a choice. Jennessy, run while you can! It’s not too late.”
Jennessy pressed her cheek against his chest, her fingers trailing down his stomach. “Oh, yes, it is.”
“Poor thing, another victim.” The smile came through in Mollie’s sympathies. “See you in a bit.”
Sax disconnected and tossed the phone to the foot of the bed. “She’s tenser than normal because Julian’s on a case now. So…sex or breakfast?”
“We could do a quick and dirty and then grab a bagel.”
He pinned her hands to the bed and hovered over her. “Man, I love compromises.”
Exactly thirty minutes later, Sax brought Jennessy to the range, where Addie was loading the chambers of a pink-handled revolver. She held it up, a grin on her face. “Look what Risk bought me. My very own gun. A pink gun, no less.”
Sax assessed it. “Sweet. You know a man loves you when he buys you a gun.”
Jennessy’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “How does that work, exactly?”
“He’s thinking about your protection, for one. And he knows you’re strong enough to take care of yourself, for two. Want a gun, darlin’?”
Jennessy’s expression grew serious and her eyes widened. “Are you saying you love me?”
“ ’Course I love you. You think I’d fly to Illinois and threaten to drop to my knees on your lawn in a public display of foolishness if I didn’t?”
She smacked his arm. “Well, you could have told me.”
“You’re also moving in with me when we find the right place. Should I have told you that, too?”
She let out a sound of exasperation, but her smile sort of undermined it.
He raised his arms in surrender. “Hey, I’m new to this relationship business. Cut me some slack.”
Addie gave her a consolatory pat on the arm. “Been there, done that. Got that T-shirt. They get better, trust me. And you learn how to read their subtle signals.”
Risk came through the door at that moment. “Hey, hey, hey. There’s nothing subtle about my signal.”
Addie burst out laughing. “Nope, no problem interpreting that signal.”
Risk wrapped his arms around her from behind and settled his chin on her shoulder. “Glad we got that settled. I do have a rep to consider. Now, what are you all consorting about in here?”
“Sax just told Jennessy he loved her,” Addie said. “Well, sort of.”
Jennessy crossed her arms over her chest. “He actually hasn’t told me yet.”
Sax smacked his forehead. “Great. Now I have an audience.” He pulled her flush against his body, leaning her back and kissing her. “IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou.”
Addie and Risk clapped. Nuisances.
Jennessy circled his neck with her arms. “IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou.” She kissed the tip of his nose. “Too.”
He pinched her cheek the same way she’d done to his earlier. “You’re an imp. Which is one of the things I love about you. There are lots of other things, but we have a meeting.”
“I’ll be looking forward to hearing them!” she called out after him.
Risk chuckled. “Now we just have to get Knox hooked up. And Chase.”
“Not going to happen with Knox. That whole thing with his sister fucked up his psyche pretty bad. Nothing like having your little sister die because she was following you while you were sneaking off to get your first taste of nookie.”
“Did he say that shut him down?”
Sax shook his head. “Not in so many words. I just connected the dots.”
“What about Chase?” Risk asked as they headed upstairs.
“He’s hard to read. I think he’s been through some pretty heavy shit.”
“I saw him looking at a woman’s picture once on his phone, but he closed it real quick and was all business.” Risk shrugged. “I didn’t ask.”
“Have you noticed that when the light hits his face just right, you can see scar lines?” Sax traced his finger along his jawline and forehead. “Dude’s too young to have a facelift, so I’m thinking he went through a windshield or something.”
“Well, I’m not asking him about it.”
They stepped into the conference room. Chase was down at the head of the long table, his crossed feet propped on the edge. He wore an expression of annoyance and amusement. Which was kind of odd in itself.
Chad sat next to him, with the same damned look, except his leaned more toward amusement.
Sax set his coffee mug on the table and dropped into the seat. “What?” He glanced at his watch. “We’re only a couple minutes late.”
Risk hooked his thumb at Sax. “His fault.”
Chase turned the laptop around to show them the surveillance camera footage of the range. “Too busy getting kissy with your girlfriends. My agency has become a dating service.”
Risk barked out a laugh as he settled into the chair opposite Sax. “Hey, you’re the one who assigned me Addie.”
Knox came in bearing his cup of brew. “Sorry I’m late. I had to refill the bean hopper, then clean out the doohickey that holds the coffee grounds, and then it gave me the red finger.”
“Red finger?” Chase asked.
“The something-else-needs-to-be-done exclamation point light. The low-water indicator. Fancy ’spresso machines. I’m buying a regular ol’ coffeemaker for the kitchen.”
“Whine, whine, whine.” Vivi fol
lowed him in, her mug in hand. “You think he’d never seen a coffee machine before. I thought guys were naturally good at assembling and disassembling stuff.”
Knox sneered at her. “Sure, says the one who sailed in after I’d wrangled with it to get her coffee with nary a fuss.”
Vivi set down her mug and rubbed her hands together evil-villain style as she turned to Chase. “Give him an assignment where I can dress him, please.”
Sax jabbed a finger in her direction. “I knew you enjoyed the idea of torturing me with those awful clothes!”
Knox sat in the chair the farthest from where Vivi settled in at the table. “She just hates men. The boys must have teased her about her boobs when she was twelve or something.”
She narrowed her eyes, but a shadow crossed her pretty features as she glared at him. “I don’t hate all men, just the arrogant, self-important—”
“Children,” Chase admonished, raising an eyebrow at the two of them. “We have to put an end to this squabbling of yours.”
Vivi crossed her arms. “Only if you fire him.”
Sax found her a study in contrasts. A body built for sin, beautiful face and long dark-blond hair, but completely downplayed unless she needed it for a role. And she wasn’t gay; he’d seen her throw an admiring gaze at the guys—even Knox—when they’d all run around the island for exercise. She was as shut down sexually as Knox was. He had a feeling it was more than boys teasing her in school.
Knox pointedly ignored her and took in the group. “What’d I miss?”
“Sax told Jennessy he loved her down in the range,” Risk offered. Yes, nuisance.
“And apparently Chase and Chad here were watching,” Sax grumbled. “Glad my love life is so entertaining.” He pointed to Knox and Chase, then included Chad. “You all just wait till you fall. Yeah, it’ll happen.”
Wild Nights Page 25
