Sally shook her head. ‘You’ve worked here long enough to know how detrimental taking time away can be, Sophia. Especially for a woman. If you go away now… ’ She grimaced, then slammed her hands onto her desk. ‘It’ll all fall down around your ears.’
Sophia took a deep breath. It really had been a long time since she’d had a holiday. She’d booked to go away with Lee to several exotic locations, where everything was luxurious and all-inclusive. She’d even pushed herself to browse skimpy bikinis and colourful sarongs online – although she’d never actually purchased any. But always, at the last minute, she’d been asked to work through her annual leave, or over the weekend, and she’d felt unable to say no. Lee had still gone, of course, at Sophia’s insistence, the type of insistence that meant she’d encouraged him to still go while wishing he’d refuse. And so life had gone on…
But now, after finding Lee in flagrante, she was starting to regret her acceptance of his desire to go away without her. Just like she was starting to regret throwing all her energy at her job. She deserved a break and she would bloody well have one.
Sophia got to her feet and locked her trembling knees.
Knees that were trembling with indignation rather than fear, she noted.
‘Okay, well I quit.’
‘What?’ Sally’s mouth fell open.
‘I don’t want to do this… ’ Sophia gestured at the grey carpet, the glass walls and the strip lighting of the place where she’d spent the majority of her twenties. ‘In fact, I’m not going to do it.’
‘Don’t be rash, Sophia. You’re throwing away so much.’
Sophia buttoned up her blazer, picked up her Stella McCartney cross-body bag and walked to the door.
‘Maybe I am. Maybe I’m not. But I won’t know until I make a change. Goodbye, Sally, and good luck!’
She strode across to her own desk, gathered her few belongings and marched out of the office, ignoring the curious glances of her coworkers as she went.
It was only when the lift doors opened and she stepped into the lobby that she allowed herself to sag.
What on earth had she just done?
And what the hell was she going to do now?
Chapter 3
After moping around her parents’ house for a couple of weeks and helping in the restaurant, Sophia had to admit that she needed to make some plans. She’d started by going back to the apartment to collect the rest of her belongings. Lee had already moved out and was staying at his sister’s house temporarily. He’d told Sophia that it was a temporary arrangement but she suspected that unless he found a job sometime soon, he might be sleeping on a sofa indefinitely. Still, it wasn’t her problem to solve.
Even so, she’d offered him some cash from her savings account – her rainy day ISA that Lee had no access to – because she couldn’t bear to think of him suddenly struggling. It was a weakness of hers, perhaps, this need to look out for him, but old habits die hard and it was going to take her a while to shake this one off. Surprisingly, Lee had refused to take the money. He’d held his head up, showing off his freshly shaven jaw, and told Sophia that he was a new man and wouldn’t take a penny more from her. So she hadn’t pushed him, thinking that if he had good intentions, then she’d better let him get on with them.
She’d also been to the local leisure centre and enrolled in some classes, mainly to get herself out from under her parents’ feet for a few hours a day. She’d been to beginner’s yoga this morning and was feeling relaxed after a session of stretching and focusing on her breathing.
Freshly showered and dressed, she stood in front of the wardrobe doors of her childhood bedroom and stared at her reflection in the mirrored door. She looked a lot like her mother with her olive skin, large dark brown eyes and wavy black hair. Although she had always thought of her mother as being pretty, she’d longed to be pale and blonde as a child. Just to fit in with the popular crowd at comprehensive school. She had thought of herself as dark and plain growing up but when she’d reached thirteen, her body had started to change. She’d developed cheekbones in her once-rounded face and curves that would have delighted a Renaissance painter. Overnight, boys had started to show an interest in her. But rather than fill her with confidence, it had forced her further into her shell, as the girls who’d ignored her until that point suddenly became furious with her. As a result of this, Sophia’s time at comprehensive school had been miserable, so she’d thrown herself into her studies and lost herself in reading. As soon as she’d passed her GCSEs, she’d gone to a sixth-form college that she had to change buses twice to reach. But it was worth it, just to get away from the people who’d made her feel wretched for so long. She’d focused on her studies and spent every spare minute working to get into her chosen university, determined to achieve academic success – the one thing no one could ever take away from her. She’d also worked at not caring about what other people thought of her, and that had come in handy when working in the masculine world of investment banking. In order to fit in and avoid being seen as feminine or desirable, fearful that she would be resented as she had been in school, she’d sought the advice of a personal shopper at Harrods. The woman had encouraged her to invest in a work wardrobe of good-quality designer trouser suits and plain black heels that Sophia found she was comfortable in. She’d also worn minimal makeup to work and had tamed her ebony waves into a tight bun or chignon, only allowing it to fall free once she got home at night.
Her weekend wardrobe had also been quite sensible, dominated by cream and beige, and based on the essentials selected for her by the personal shopper, although the Harrods’ employee had exclaimed on more than one occasion that if she had Sophia’s curves and her generous budget, that she’d have splashed out on something far more glamorous and eye-catching.
But after her experiences at school, Sophia hadn’t wanted to be glamorous or eye-catching. She’d wanted to be appreciated for being good at her job and for her mind. In every other way, she wanted to stay under the radar.
There were still days when she imagined what it would be like to be different, to blend into the crowd, but she’d also come to be more accepting of her looks as she’d grown older, realizing that she wasn’t going to change now. Finding her boyfriend with a beautiful blonde could well have thrown her into a whirling pit of insecurity. But she was trying not to let it. What Lee had done said more about the state of their relationship than about her appearance, and she knew she had to let it go.
She gazed around the room, her childhood bedroom that still bore the evidence of her teenage years. The walls were adorned with old posters and stickers – from boy bands to movies to inspirational posters featuring quotes and panoramic views of beautiful settings she’d never seen but dreamed of visiting. Ironically, she’d paid to visit a few of the locations but never got on the plane. She’d told herself she didn’t mind, that she wasn’t bothered.
But had it bothered Lee? And sent him into the arms of a human fashion doll?
Should she have made more of an effort?
She shook her head. She had a better chance of being happy now and Lee did too. Sometimes, something was needed to give a person a push in the right direction. And it seemed that Lee’s cheating was just what Sophia needed.
‘Sophia!’
‘Yes?’
‘Dinner’s ready.’
‘Be down in a minute, Mum!’
She glanced around the room. She’d managed to stuff the things she’d brought with her into the wardrobe and under the bed. It would pass a surface inspection. She just had to hope her mother wouldn’t decide to check where she’d put everything. Stella’s obsession with tidiness was legendary and everything had a place and had to stay there… or else! She grinned. She loved her parents so much, even if they could be a bit overpowering at times. It was another reason why a trip was a good idea; staying here would be okay in the short term but any longer than a few weeks and she knew she’d end up with cabin fever. They still saw her as the baby of
the family and that was fine, as long as she wasn’t living under their roof where they could mollycoddle her twenty-four seven.
‘Sophia!’
‘Coming!’
She left the bedroom, pulling the door closed behind her, enjoying the delicious aromas of tomato and garlic as she descended. It was only when she reached the bottom step that she realized there were extra pairs of shoes in the hallway. Five extra pairs. She swallowed a groan. That meant that her brothers were here with Luca’s family in tow. And as much as she loved her nieces, she also knew that it meant that her situation would now be mulled over, not just by her parents and brothers, but her sister-in-law too. They might even throw the scraps of her dignity to her nieces: Summer and Autumn.
She took a deep breath, then headed into the large, warm kitchen and prepared to greet her family.
*
‘Aunty Sophia!’ Seven-year-old Summer ran at her, threw her arms around Sophia’s waist and hugged her tight.
‘Hello, Summer.’
‘I’m so happy to see you. Where’ve you been? Mummy said you’re always working and we’ve really missed you. Haven’t we, Autumn?’
‘Yes.’ Five-year-old Autumn joined the hug.
Sophia gazed at the dark heads of her nieces. Luca and his wife, Kaisha, had produced two beautiful girls. And they were such physical opposites. Luca was tall, broad and dark, whereas Kaisha was petite with fair skin, silky light brown hair and green eyes. Their genes had combined to make two little girls who looked like they’d walked straight out of a Disney cartoon with their shiny hair and rosy cheeks. As they hugged Sophia, she realized that she hadn’t seen them for well over a month and something in her chest tightened. ‘I’m sorry, girls. I’ve just been so busy at work that I had to work weekends too. I have missed you so much though.’
She leaned over and kissed each head then lowered to a crouch.
‘Where’s Uncle Lee?’ Autumn asked, poking her tongue out of the corner of her rosebud mouth.
‘Oh, he’s uh—’
‘They broke up, silly!’ Summer nudged her sister and Autumn’s cheeks flushed.
‘Sorry, Aunty Sophia.’
‘It’s okay, sweetie. Sometimes grown-ups don’t stay together because they don’t love each other any more.’
Autumn’s eyes widened and she looked through the window at her mother and father where they were evidently in a heated exchange about something.
‘No, no… Not your mummy and daddy.’
Summer slid an arm around her younger sister. ‘’S okay, Autumn. Mummy’s just cross because Daddy forgot to peg the washing out before we left. They’re not going to split up.’
Autumn watched her sister as she spoke, then nodded. Evidently, as the older sister, Summer’s word was law.
‘Yes, your mummy and daddy love each other very much.’ Sophia said, watching her brother and his wife from her position between her two nieces.
Autumn nodded, then grabbed Summer’s hand and tugged at it. Summer rolled her eyes before running off into the garden with her sister.
Sophia walked over to her mother. ‘Anything I can help with?’
‘Yes, love. Take the glasses through, would you?’
‘Sure. Everything okay there?’ she whispered, nodding at Luca and Kaisha.
Her mother smiled. ‘Just hormones, I expect. You know how Kaisha likes to run a tight ship and Luca forgot the washing this morning. They’ll make up in a minute.’
And her mother was right. When Sophia next glanced out of the window, Luca and Kaisha were hugging as he stroked her bump. Sophia did a quick calculation; their third child was due in about three months’ time – a September baby. They hadn’t let on if they were having a boy or a girl but Luca had said he didn’t mind, as long as the baby was healthy. He was a doting father and he adored his family. Sophia wouldn’t be surprised to see them have another three babies, at least.
‘Hey, little sister.’ Marco grabbed her as she walked into the conservatory and she gasped.
‘Marco, I could have dropped the glasses.’
‘I’d have caught them with my ninja skills.’
‘Yeah, right.’
‘How’re you doing?’ His brown eyes, so much like her own, scanned her face.
‘I’m okay.’
‘You sure?’
Sophia nodded as she placed the glasses with their lemon tree engravings on the table. ‘It’s a bit strange, you know, being back home, but I knew things weren’t right for a while.’
Marco shook his head. ‘Still want to kick his butt for what he did to you, though. No excuse for it at all.’
Sophia shrugged. ‘Maybe not.’
‘You’re too forgiving.’
‘To be honest, I’m more concerned about missing my job than I am about missing Lee.’ She winked to show she was joking.
‘I know. But the extra hours were playing havoc with Mum’s dinner schedule.’ He nudged her with his elbow.
Sophia smiled. Her mother had always liked to have her children and their partners around for Sunday dinner; it was her time to catch up with her children. They shut up the restaurant by three on Sundays then headed home to eat together, enjoying their own Sunday meal as more of a teatime event than a lunchtime one. It was a time for them to connect, to share and to work through any problems any of them might be having. Of course, Sophia’s work had upset the routine a bit but then she’d justified it to herself by repeating that things did change as families grew older and nothing ever stayed the same. Still, it was nice to be with them today and she was, of course, looking forward to her parents’ delicious cooking.
‘No Jane today?’ Sophia asked as she peered behind her brother into the kitchen.
His cheeks coloured.
‘Not you too?’
‘You know me, Sis. I just can’t seem to keep ’em.’
‘Keep them? They can’t seem to keep you more like.’
‘I don’t know what it is. I mean, I see Luca happily married with his children and his people carrier and his large family home but I just can’t seem to find the right woman.’
‘Well you need to be sure that she is the right one before you settle down.’
‘But what if there is no right person for me?’ He held out his hands. ‘Perhaps I’m destined to be single all my life.’
‘And there’s nothing wrong with that. As long as you’re happy.’
‘What and wasting all these good genes?’
Sophia giggled as her brother pouted and waggled his thick brown eyebrows.
‘Well they’re not really wasting, are they? Luca’s spreading them.’
Marco nodded. ‘He certainly is. Perhaps he’s doing my bit too and I’m the identical twin who doesn’t need to reproduce. I can just kick back and enjoy my life.’
‘Why not?’
Marco watched her carefully and she felt herself grow hot under his gaze. ‘But what about you, Sophia? Do you believe there’s someone out there for everyone?’
‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘I think that if we meet someone we get on with and who treats us well, then we’re lucky. Otherwise… ’ She shrugged.
‘Are you sure? Because you used to read a lot of those romance novels as a teenager and surely some of that happy-ever-after stuff must have rubbed off on you.’
Sophia cupped a hand to her ear. ‘What’s that, Mum? Of course I will. Coming!’ She winked at Marco. ‘Things to do.’
‘You’re just avoiding the topic now and wimping out.’
‘Ha ha!’ Sophia pressed a kiss to his cheek, then hurried through to the kitchen. She was definitely avoiding answering his question.
She had always liked the idea that there could be someone for everyone, as if the planet held a true love for every person but they just had to find them. Well, she hadn’t found her true love in London and there were a lot of people there. So perhaps she, like Marco, was destined to be alone.
Which was absolutely fine. She had her family, her beau
tiful nieces and her health. It would be nice to experience the love that she’d seen others enjoy but it wasn’t everything and she could live without it. Lee had been company; he had shown interest in her and, for a while, she had believed that was enough. His infidelity had been evidence that it really wasn’t. In spite of what she’d been through, she had to believe that if you loved someone, you didn’t feel the need to stray. Otherwise, what was the point in trying?
But, right now, she had some big decisions to make about her life and a man would just cloud things for her. So she was happy with her single status and the possibilities that lay ahead.
The world was like a new book in front of her. She just had to open the cover and read the first page…
Chapter 4
Sophia checked her handbag again for the fiftieth time. Passport, purse and tickets were there just as they had been five minutes ago. Her stomach churned with nerves and she took a few deep breaths to try to release some of the tension. It wasn’t that she was nervous about flying, though. More that she was going away in the hope that being in different surroundings would help her to find a new direction in life. The lack of a more solid plan than this was actually terrifying, because Sophia had always had focus, always known her goals. So the fear in her belly was fear of the unknown.
Her mother and Kaisha had insisted on taking her shopping the previous weekend and it had been a learning curve for the usually clothes-cautious Sophia. Kaisha had asked her how much she had to spend on her getaway wardrobe and when Sophia had told her, Kaisha’s face had lit up. The first purchase Kaisha had encouraged her to make, a pair of oversized Chanel sunglasses with gold rims, had made Sophia giggle. Her usual sunglasses were smaller and selected not to attract any attention. But the size of the Chanel ones alone drew attention to her head. However, when she put them on, she was pleased to find that they suited her face shape and her mother told her they made her look like Sophia Loren.
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