"Who are Mike and Jamie and where am I, Karzac?" I was rubbing my forehead; a headache threatened.
"We will not allow that," Karzac's fingers were cool and careful on my forehead, kneading away the ache. "Little vampire, I want you to find a way to put the incident upon Kifirin behind you. We want you to be happy instead of dwelling on that tragedy. You have been given back to us and that is an amazing gift. Friends are waiting here, if you want them. And a home also, if you desire it. You are at our home outside London, Lissa, and Mike and Jamie are our cook and housekeeper. Merrill tells me Kifirin brought you to him so we could set you to rights again. Kifirin also said he would return when he finished some work or other."
"Merrill," I grumbled, raising my knees. "He so conveniently forgot to tell me about Greg. And now he's one of the Saa Thalarr, isn't he? How does that work?" I sat up in bed, leaning my forehead on my knees. I wasn't sure how I knew Merrill was Saa Thalarr—I just did.
"Lissa, he has fretted over that, I know. We all have regrets, and that is one of his. Wlodek's too, as he is one of us. You will recognize many Saa Thalarr; you knew them before," Karzac sighed softly. "Radomir is here, with Russell, Will and Charles. Weldon Harper came to us, as did Martin Walters. Brock and Stephan are here and mated. Merrill's last two vampire children are here—Joey is a healer and Kyle is Saa Thalarr and mated to Selkirk of Grey House; also a healer, by the way."
"Someone mentioned Grey House to me once," I raised my head and looked at Karzac. "He said the Grey House Wizards were the strongest and most talented of their kind."
"He was correct. Who told you that?" A smile tugged at Karzac's mouth.
"Someone named Erland Morphis," I said. "I only met him for a few minutes." I didn't explain to Karzac that I'd met him forty years in the future, when Kifirin had taken me to the High Demons' planet. Kifirin had known then I was going to die, and he hadn't said anything. I wanted to cry again. Whoever had kept me from dying probably shouldn't have.
"We know Erland," Karzac nodded slightly, winding up the IV line and taking the empty blood bag off the pole beside the bed. He did something with Power—the whole thing disappeared from his hand. I found myself wishing I could do that.
"You can do many things we cannot even attempt," Karzac read my mind.
"Karzac, what am I going to do?" I rubbed my forehead. "Three hundred years are gone. I don't fit in, anymore. I don't belong here."
"Lissa," Karzac took my hand and patted it, his eyes filled with concern, "We'll help. My mates and I will do everything we can."
"Mates?" I turned to Karzac. His green-gold eyes held a far-away look.
"Many things are different now," he admitted, rubbing my hand with a thumb. "While multiple mates have always been recognized by the Saa Thalarr and by the Reth Alliance, those laws have changed on Earth in the past century. It is now legal to have multiple husbands or wives, and in some countries, group marriages are also legal and accepted."
"You said mates," I pointed out. He smiled crookedly.
"Grace and Devin," he agreed. "They share eleven husbands in a blended group. Dragon, Dragon's twin, Crane, and I are members of that group. Radomir, too—you know him—is also one of the eleven. Please tell me you do not find this repugnant." Karzac sounded embarrassed, which was unusual for him. He worried that I'd judge him, somehow.
"Karzac," I pulled my hand away and patted his arm, "If you're happy, I'm happy. And as long as everybody involved is a sane, consenting adult, well, more power to you, I guess."
"That is what the Earth law states—that all participants must be of legal age and sign an agreement that they understand the complexity of the situation," Karzac nodded. "Of course, on Earth, it is still tradition for men to marry multiple wives, but many powerful women have more than one husband. Come to dinner now; I am receiving mindspeech that it is ready and the others are waiting for us," he smiled. "I will introduce you to both my mates—they are eager to meet you. Some of the eleven are away at the moment, so you will not see all of them at once." Karzac rose and helped me off the bed.
"Pot roast, huh?" I hadn't had pot roast in a long time. I hoped it was as good as I remembered it as I followed Karzac downstairs and through a warren of hallways toward the kitchen.
The moment I entered the spacious kitchen, I realized I didn't need my eyes to recognize several seated around the granite island.
"Radomir," I nodded at him. He was grinning at me like a fool, and I'd barely seen him so much as smile before. He looked more relaxed than when I'd seen him last—same dark hair and eyes and same handsome face, but there was something intangible about him that told me he was truly happy. Maybe being Saa Thalarr agreed with him. "You're Adam Chessman's son, Justin," I nodded to a tall man with sandy blond hair. "And you're Martin Walters, Jr." I nodded to the dark-haired, dark-eyed man sitting beside Justin. Both of them stared at me in surprise.
"She knows by the scent," Dragon helped himself to food. Dragon's twin brother Crane sat next to him. Both looked eerily alike, but their scents were slightly different. Dragon said their tattoos were different too, but those were covered by long-sleeved shirts at the moment. Dragon lifted his head and offered a cheeky grin before going back to his plate.
"You must be Crane," I nodded to Dragon's brother. "Dragon told me about you." He smiled politely at me. There were others around the table and Karzac made introductions while he settled me on a stool at the granite-topped island.
"This is Devin," he introduced me to one of the women. Her red hair was a shade or two darker than mine. I drew in a breath—she had Elemaiyan blood. I didn't say anything as she smiled and greeted me. "This is Grace," Karzac identified the other woman at the table. She had honey blonde hair and also smiled at me. Both were beautiful, no doubt about that.
"It's very nice to meet all of you and I didn't mean to hold up dinner. Please, don't mind me," I made a gesture with my hands.
"How do you know me?" Martin Walters, Jr. spoke while buttering a roll. "They call me Mack, by the way."
"I remember that now," I said. "I met you when you were two years old. I already knew your dad; he brought you and your sister to a wedding. Weldon Harper's son, Daryl, was getting married to Kathy Jo Green in North Dakota. I got to hold you."
"They invited a vampire to a werewolf wedding?" Justin asked.
"I was entitled, since I saved Weldon's ass earlier and he made me a member of the Pack afterward. Who knows, maybe my paperwork is still there, somewhere—it did say living or dead."
"May I join you?" A Larentii folded in and it wasn't Pheligar. He'd been the only Larentii I'd seen up until now. This one looked a bit like Pheligar—the hair and eye color was the same. And I knew he was related to Pheligar by his scent.
"I'd love for you to join us—you smell like Pheligar," I said. "And I loved looking at his blue skin; it made me think of the sky when I couldn't see the sky. Except at night."
"I am Pheligar's son, Renegar," he smiled at me. "My mother is Kiarra." Renegar was as tall as his father—eight and a half feet. That was some accomplishment for Kiarra if she gave birth to a Larentii.
"Giving birth to a Larentii is quite an accomplishment," Renegar's smile widened. "Grace and I have a child. His name is Graegar." Well, I was discovering that one of Grace and Devin's eleven mates was Larentii. I wanted to smile or stand up and cheer or something.
"That's a nice name," I said instead. "How old is Graegar?"
"He was taken back in time; therefore he is three hundred, now."
"Really? You're going to have to be careful around me because I want to pester you with so many questions," I said. "I just want to warn you in advance."
"Lissa, you are talking and not eating," Karzac observed.
"Are we going to go a round or two?" I pointed my fork at him.
"Lissa isn't afraid of Karzac," Dragon chuckled.
"Is Lissa afraid of anything? I saw those Ra'Ak exploding," Justin said. "I had no idea what was causing that."
> "I was misting inside their heads," I said, cutting into my pot roast (Karzac was watching). "I blew my mist out, causing them to explode. Not a big deal." I placed a bite of pot roast in my mouth and chewed. It was very good and the gravy was excellent. "But when I got to that last one, I was exhausted," I explained. "I knew if I did one more, I wouldn't have enough energy to pull my mist together again. That last one was the granddaddy of all of them. He was huge. I made the decision and went to get him. I don't remember anything past that until I came back to myself, standing in the arboretum in the High Demons' palace. Everybody thought I was a brain-damaged comesula."
"When Lissa recovers, brother, you should teach her bladework," Dragon told his brother, Crane.
"I don't need," I didn't get to finish my sentence, Dragon interrupted.
"Just see whether she has any raw talent." Dragon smirked.
Don't make me kick your ass, I sent to him. He ducked his head to hide the smile.
"We'll take you shopping tomorrow," Devin announced. "You don't have any clothing, and several people are already asking if they can come along. The styles now are similar to those popular in the 1930s. Jeans are back in, too. I hope you like what's available." I nodded. Shopping was probably a good idea, since I had nothing in the way of clothing or possessions.
"Radomir, how's Wlodek?" I asked casually. "Is Flavio still around? What about Gavin?" Gavin was the one I wanted to know about. Nobody had mentioned his name and I was worried. My heart thumped with fear as I waited for an answer.
Radomir looked uncomfortable for a moment. "Father is fine and wants to come see you very soon, as do Will, Russell, Martin Walters and Weldon. They are all part of the Saa Thalarr. Flavio is now Head of the Council, and—he does not remember you." That admission came out in an embarrassed rush. "Neither do Gavin, Anthony Hancock or any of the other vampires. Something took our memories of you, shortly after your demise. The ones who became Saa Thalarr remembered when we saw the Ra'Ak dying by the hundreds, but not until then. The others have no memories at all."
"Fuck," I muttered, dropping my fork. I'd just lost my appetite. "If you'll excuse me," I stood up from my seat. I wanted to cry. Or scream and cry.
"Lissa, please sit down and finish your meal, I beg you." Karzac was begging, and that was something he probably didn't do often. I figured he was used to being obeyed for some reason, as the autocratic and curmudgeonly physician that he was. I felt cold and shivered. I was also close to tears as I sat down again, staring at my plate. I felt ill, on top of everything else. Karzac rose from his seat.
"Keep your seat, I will deal with this," Renegar informed Karzac. He rose from his seat and came to stand beside me, placing fingers on my face and forehead. "Just relax, little one, things will work out," he said gently as light formed around his hands. A tear slipped out anyway, and dripped along one of his fingers as he attempted to fix me somehow.
"What is the difficulty?" Two more Larentii folded in and I looked up at them while a couple more tears came.
"Pain and betrayal," Renegar said and lifted me from my seat. "This is Graegar, my son, and his Protector, Barrigar," Renegar handed me to his son.
"Why do you need a protector?" I wiped tears off my cheeks as I gazed into Graegar's face. He certainly resembled his father and grandfather. And it wasn't embarrassing or anything to be crying in front of everybody there, including more Larentii.
"I am a Wise One," Graegar smiled.
"Uh-huh," I sniffled. "I thought all Larentii were wise."
"They are, but Wise Ones are special. Like Vampire Queens," Graegar replied. "Something very rare and very precious."
"I don't feel rare and precious. I feel like crap," I muttered. "Who took the memories away so nobody would remember me?" I still wanted to cry and felt awful about that. This was just one more blow on top of the other blows.
"I do not have that specific knowledge," Graegar said. "Grandfather may know. We will attempt to find this out for you. The knowledge may upset you, should we find it."
"How much more upset do you think I can get?" I mumbled. I was still trying to clean up my face but the tears wouldn't stop; Graegar wasn't setting me down and everybody around the island was staring.
"She thinks her mate will not love her if he sees her again," Barrigar said softly, his voice a low, calming baritone. He was taller than Renegar and Graegar by a good six inches, and he hadn't spoken until then. He'd hit the nail on the head, though, and I misted out of Graegar's arms. I don't know whether he hadn't expected me to do that or not, and just hadn't done anything to stop it.
Where do you go when you don't know where the hell you are, or when, even? I misted to the top of the huge villa; I'd gone straight up and through the second story to the roof. That's where I sat, wiping tears off my cheeks as the sobs came. Gavin didn't remember me. For him, I'd never existed. What a nice payback for saving people.
Kifirin told me that had the High Demons' world fallen, all the others would have followed. It was the balance, he'd explained, for all the worlds. I'd saved the balance. Now, there wasn't anybody for me to share memories with, because none of them had any memories to share. My knees were up to my chest and I was shaking as I wept.
What was I supposed to do? There wasn't a soul out there I trusted; nobody I felt comfortable going to for help or reassurance. It was as if everything had been taken from me when my life ended. Only somebody, somewhere, had decided that wasn't the end of Lissa—it was just the end of Lissa for everybody else. If I'd known who was responsible for all this, I would have gone straight to them and given them hell for putting me through it.
* * *
"I exerted Power and it had no effect," Graegar was staring in confusion at his father and his Protector. Dragon and Grace, Co-Firsts among the Saa Thalarr, were also very concerned. If the Larentii held no power over Lissa and none could find her by Looking, could anyone control her and what had she become?
"Lissa will not harm anyone except those who deserve it," Karzac growled. He imagined finding Lissa would be easy enough; the roof was her refuge, as often as not. "She's probably on the roof," he sighed aloud. "Although I cannot decide whether it would be a good thing to disturb her or not. The news that none from her past remember her was a cruel blow."
"I shouldn't have said anything," Radomir rumbled.
"She'd find out eventually," Devin hugged her vampire mate.
"It could have waited until she was better prepared," Radomir said. "She was always afraid to say things around me, because she was frightened that I carried everything she said straight to Wlodek."
"She was the same with me." Charles folded in and sat down at the island. Devin Pulled a plate to the table, causing it to slide in front of Charles. Flatware and a glass followed. "I always wanted her to tell me how she was feeling—I don't think Wlodek would have asked me personal questions unless it was important. She never cracked, though. I tried to be her friend, but she was too afraid to have any friends." Charles helped himself to pot roast.
"Father made a mistake, not telling her about Greg." Radomir picked up his plate and carried it to the sink.
"Who is Greg?" Justin asked.
"Greg was Franklin's mate, years ago," Charles said. "He died of pneumonia—a complication of the cancer he had. Lissa loved Franklin and Greg if she ever loved anybody. Neither Wlodek nor Merrill informed her of Greg's hospitalization or death. They left her in the U.S. because she was trying to track Xenides and some of his followers. He'd turned many Dark Elemaiya who were shapeshifters, mindspeakers and misters, and he intended to destroy everything, with their help and the help of others. Lissa stopped all that. She was the one who captured Rahim Alif. Not the FBI or Homeland Security, as everyone claimed." Charles dipped into his food. He loved to eat and seldom had blood now, though the vampire side of him was still intact.
"The terrorist? That Rahim Alif?" Grace asked.
"Yes. Lissa captured him—recognized him by his scent. You won't ever fool Li
ssa; she never forgets what you smell like. She scents your blood, somehow."
"Yeah, we got that already," Mack said. "She remembered both of us because she saw us when we were little." He pointed between himself and Justin.
"Where is she now?" Charles asked.
"Probably on the roof," Karzac tossed his napkin on the island. The Larentii had sat down at the island after enlarging the seats to fit their height and were listening to the conversation.
"She always liked to get on the roof," Charles agreed. "Used to sit on Merrill's roof all the time."
"I'm going to the roof to find her," Karzac said.
"I'll come with you," Charles picked up his plate and glass of wine.
"I will come," Radomir said. All three of them folded to the roof.
* * *
If I thought I was going to be alone to cry my eyes out, I was proven wrong after ten minutes.
"Lissa, want something to eat?" Charles plopped down beside me and held out a forkful of pot roast.
"I'm not hungry." I wiped my eyes on a sleeve. No doubt, I looked like crap, but Charles was ignoring that. "It's nice to see you, Charles." I would have hugged him, but he was eating.
"Lissa, you are underweight right now. Are you going to force me to stand over you at mealtimes?" Karzac sat down on my other side.
"That wouldn't be uncomfortable or anything," I mumbled against my knees. I'd let my forehead drop to the tops of my knees so Charles, Karzac and Radomir wouldn't see my blotchy face. Radomir had come, too and settled down next to Charles.
"We can make arrangements for you to meet with Flavio, Gavin and Anthony," Radomir offered. "Just to see whether your presence sparks a memory in them."
"And if it doesn't? That sounds like the most awkward thing ever." I was depressed and couldn't shake it off. I wasn't prepared for Gavin's stone face if he didn't remember me or our time together.
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