"Very nice," Baltis complimented Narval's efforts. Being of the Dark Elemaiya, he reveled in death at times. Friesianna was less comfortable with it, but felt it necessary to accomplish her goals.
"Good," she nodded instead. "The Ka'Mirai should be ours soon. I will draft the demand."
"No, we will draft our demand; we share in this, remember?" Baltis growled at Friesianna, his words causing her to go cold. Baltis had his own designs on the Ka'Mirai. Who knew what he might ask to change with her Power? Friesianna hid her shudder.
* * *
"Lissa, we want you to come for dinner," Merrill folded into my bedroom while I was wrapped in a fluffy robe and drying my hair with a towel. A bath had been a necessity after taking out Flakkar earlier.
"No," I snapped, dropping the towel onto a chaise in my sitting area.
"Lissa, are you going to be angry with me forever? I made a terrible mistake. I admit it. I apologize." Piercing blue eyes begged me to accept the offered apology.
"So, an apology is supposed to magically make everything all right?" I glared at Merrill.
"Lissa, I was hoping to make things up to you, somehow. That you'd consent to give me a chance. Kiarra and Adam both want to thank you for what you did for us on Kifirin—as do I. We'd have died if you hadn't come."
"Merrill, I didn't do it for you." I turned my back on him. I wasn't about to explain the screams of the comesuli, or the dead ones surrounding me when I made the decision to go after the Ra'Ak Prince.
"I know why you did it. That doesn't make the rest of us any less grateful."
"Merrill, we were on a collision course," I sighed, turning toward him and shaking my head. He was still as handsome as ever, and it wrenched my heart. "You're a nice person to most people. Respected and loved. To me, you were the one who agreed to a beating because I tried to save your ass. Also the one who withheld the information that a friend was dying, so I'd keep doing what you wanted me to do. I wanted to love you, Merrill. Truly. Only you sabotaged that at every turn." I shook my head, still confused over the blows life had dealt me.
"And now," I went on, "I know we had a M'Fiyah. You asked Griffin to destroy it. He knew then I was his daughter, and he did it anyway. Both of you have done nothing but cause me pain. How am I supposed to forgive that, Merrill? How? Why did you agree to teach me in the first place? You could have refused and had me sent off to someone else. Neither you nor Wlodek ever gave me credit for having the sense to come in out of the rain. Explain that to me Merrill. Explain what you want from me now, Merrill." I wanted to cry and beat on Merrill's chest, I felt so hurt and angry.
"I'd allow it," he nodded, reading my mind. "As would Wlodek. I know you don't trust us, Lissa. That you may never trust us. I also know you're not comfortable around us. I hope that bridge can be repaired someday. We owe you everything Lissa, and we haven't repaid our debts very well, have we?" Merrill sighed as he sat on the edge of my bed.
"Merrill, you refused to give the love I needed when I desperately needed it. How do you think that makes me feel?"
"I don't often use the term like shit, but it's appropriate in this case, I believe."
"Got it in one," I said, hugging myself. I still wanted to cry. I just didn't want Merrill to see it.
"I will go to Belen, and ask to have the M'Fiyah reinstated, if that's what you want," Merrill offered.
"Don't bother." I didn't want Merrill's charity, and Belen already said neither he nor any of his kind would consider it.
"Lissa, I know you suffer. I just," Merrill raked a hand through black hair in frustration.
"Merrill, you made a choice. You get to live with that choice. As I have. At least I don't have to answer to the fucking Council anymore," I grumbled.
"Lissa, I've gone over this in my mind for the past few days. I don't look good in any of the scenarios presented." Merrill shook his head. "I made Sarita, did you know that? I couldn't love her either; I held myself away, again because of Kiarra. Perhaps I shouldn't have. Wlodek loved her, and she loved him—as much as she could. She walked into the sun because she couldn't have children and she couldn't have me. Do you think I don't feel guilt over that? Do you? When the second Queen was placed in my care, I managed to fuck that up, too, didn't I?"
"You can't help whom you love. Or don't want to love," I muttered.
"I loved Kiarra for centuries, yet it was Adam, who had no idea who she was, who got to her first. Punishment, I believe, for my past mistakes. He was made Saa Thalarr first too, for those same reasons." Merrill heaved a frustrated sigh. He was a handsome man—I'd always thought that. He'd only treated me as a child, though. That's what I'd been to him. To hear that he'd callously destroyed what could have been between us, well, that was a pain in my heart and one he could never repair. I didn't want anything from him that he wasn't willing to give. Love was one of those things.
"Now it's too late, for so many things," Merrill said, his voice filled with regret.
"Well, Merrill, I hope you got everything you wanted," I said. He had Kiarra; she was what he wanted. Isn't that the way things happened? Some people got everything, leaving the rest of us to scrabble and scrounge.
"What do you want, Lissa?" Merrill raised his eyes to mine.
"I can't answer that," I said, "because I would be asking for the impossible."
"At least tell me something," Merrill said.
I sighed and rubbed my forehead. "I want to feel safe, even if it's only for a little while," I began. "I want someone to love me. Someone who loves me completely, just as I am," I continued. "I want someone I can trust with my life. Somebody who doesn't think I'm young and stupid, Merrill, or who treats me with contempt because I haven't lived as long as they have. Somebody who isn't going to use me for what I can accomplish for them. Point out that person to me."
"Lissa, I want all those things for you, too." He disappeared, right in front of me.
"Fuck," I mumbled, wiping tears off my cheeks.
* * *
I was finally satisfied with the boulder, after misting it a few feet back and forth and turning it on its side more than once. It had stood on a corner of Merrill's property before, but there was a big hole there, now. Merrill could find another fucking rock to replace it if he wanted. This one was a memorial to René. It covered the spot where I'd held his hand as he breathed his last. Now I settled on the damp ground before it, staring up at it with a sigh. At least a dozen feet high, it was oblong in shape and moss and lichen grew on parts of it.
"What am I supposed to do, René?" I asked the question a second time, wiping tears away. Things were spiraling out of control. I had a husband who didn't remember me. Three others who wanted to be husbands. One who'd refused me, sight unseen, with help from my own father. And that didn't include Kifirin, whom I hadn't seen since I left the High Demon's planet. Truly, if it hadn't been for the Flakkar attacking worlds, I might have gone looking for a way out. As it was, I was the one who could destroy the monsters, so I was the self-appointed rescue committee.
I don't know how long he'd been sitting beside me; I was so involved with my misery. Nonetheless, he was there—tall, blue-skinned, with dark blond hair. I stared up at him—I didn't know this Larentii.
"I know you," he smiled down at me, and his smile stopped my heart. "My mother is Conner, who is also the Guardian. You have met my father—he is Barrigar, Graegar's Protector. They are both mated to my mother."
"She's so lucky," I sniffled, turning away so he wouldn't see the tears falling.
"Little rose," he turned my face back to him with a large, blue finger. "The bloom is on your cheeks, my pretty one. I thought you would never come to me."
Chapter 12
"Other races can be reborn as Larentii, although it seldom happens." Conner set a cup of hot tea before me. Connegar, her very tall Larentii son, sat beside me at the island in Conner's kitchen, a large blue hand on my back to steady me. Conner's southern accent belied what I'd heard of her before, but then I hadn'
t seen the Guardian, either. She was beautiful, with long, pale blonde hair clipped back from her face and blue eyes that studied me with a worried frown. I'd fainted when Connegar repeated René's final words to me, so he'd taken me immediately to his mother. Together, they'd gotten me conscious again and Conner made tea for me.
"Mother can see who anyone was before, in their former lives. But I, having many of her talents, can also see this," Connegar smiled gently at me. "I held back from coming to you before, as you were upset and confused about the others. They only want your love and attention, and fail to see it is overwhelming you."
"I told Merrill he should have kept his mouth shut," Conner grumbled, sitting next to me with her own cup of tea. I almost smiled—Conner had a soft, southern accent, and it was such a contradiction to the Power clouding about her.
"I was born in Atlanta," Conner laughed at my thoughts. "Shane was my best friend and next door neighbor. When I was made Saa Thalarr, I couldn't leave him behind, so he came along as my healer. And then Franklin showed up, and well, you can guess the rest." Conner sipped her tea. I was beginning to like her—very much.
"Connegar and I have been swapping mindspeech ever since you came back from the dead," Conner grinned. "And he named himself after me. Most Larentii do that—name themselves after their mothers. Renegar, well, Kiarra's name was Renée, before she came over. So Ren took that name. The other would have been a nightmare to pronounce if you stuck gar on the end of it." Conner snorted delicately.
I laughed. I couldn't help it. Conner smiled into her cup of tea. Connegar rumbled a laugh beside me.
"Now, why didn't you send mindspeech and tell us you were here?" Franklin, Shane and Tomas folded into the kitchen. Shane, in true, old-style Greg fashion, had his hands on his hips and lifted an eyebrow at me. "Conner Louella Francis, you could have said something."
"Don't you three-name me, Shane Patrick Taylor," Conner shook a finger at Shane. I slapped a hand over my mouth to stop the giggles.
"Look who's here." Russell and Will walked in. "Lissa, it's been a while." Russell leaned in between Conner and me and pecked me on the cheek. Then he gave Conner a huge kiss.
"Lissa's responsible for that print of dogs playing pool in my billiard room," Russell rubbed noses with Conner before pulling away.
"Well, now I know who to blame," Conner swatted at Russell.
"He deserved it—Russell gave a perfectly good Monet to Wlodek because he didn't like it," I said in my defense.
"Is that what happened? Russell William Farleigh, your ass is in trouble now."
"Oh, she's using three names. I'm leaving," Will teased. I was now laughing out loud.
This happens often, Connegar whispered in my mind. It is quite amusing.
I like it, I sent back.
I am happy to hear your laugh, little rose.
"Connegar, why don't you take Lissa somewhere while I have a talk with Russell about expensive artwork," Conner smiled. "Lissa, don't let those old vampires bother you. Or just kick their ass. They'll learn quickly enough not to mess with you."
"I'll consider it," I nodded to Conner. She surprised me by giving me a hug, and then Connegar folded me away.
"Where is this?" I stared about us—we stood in a high meadow somewhere, while grazing animals bleated all around us.
"The Larentii homeworld," Connegar sat down in the grass and pulled me in his lap. "These are Falaca," he nodded toward the animals. They were wooly creatures, resembling a melding of sheep and llama. They also came in many colors, from black to white to a blue gray. "We make much of our clothing from their wool," Connegar wrapped long blue arms around me, and rested his chin atop my head. "We only use natural fibers, and no dye. And we kill nothing in the manufacturing of our garb. It is the way it has always been with the Larentii."
"Really?" I leaned aside to look up at him. His sky-blue eyes were amused at my question.
"Little rose, you have no idea how much I love you. So I must show you. Larentii seldom do this, but in this case it is warranted and deserved." I was about to ask him what was warranted and deserved, when it hit me. There isn't any way to describe it to someone who's never felt it. Light formed around us and I was drowning in love. That's the closest I can come to a decent description. I not only breathed love in; it soaked into every pore. And then the trilling came. Kyler explained to me later that the trilling is something the Larentii do for their mates. It is the most restful, intrinsically resonant sound in the universe, and soothes the soul. And just as it was intended to do, it put me right to sleep.
* * *
"Come on, lazybones," Drake and Drew were sitting on the side of my bed, trying to wake me. Drake was rubbing the base of my thumb gently with his. "Connegar sent mindspeech last night to tell us you were with him, and to let you sleep late this morning."
"I want to sleep some more," I mumbled, turning over on my side to face the twins. I had to; Drake still had my hand.
"No, little firefly. You have to wake, now. We'll dress you if you're not up to it. You need breakfast. We finished sparring with Dad and Uncle Crane two hours ago."
"Firefly?" I opened one of my eyes to stare skeptically at Drake.
"Karzac's good at handing out nicknames. He's calling you firefly."
"Uh-huh." I slapped my free hand over my face.
"He calls Mom ladybug."
"What's with the insect names?" I flopped over on my back and pulled my hand away to stare at the ceiling. It was slowly coming into focus.
"Karzac says you're the one nobody can see unless you flash your light and power briefly and when you do that, everybody has to sit back and stare in amazement."
"Great. I'm a utility company," I grumped, sitting up.
"What's wrong with our girl?" Drake pulled me against him, stroking fingers against the back of my neck. I let my head droop against his shoulder. "That's right, just relax," he kept stroking my neck, letting his fingers slide through my hair at times. I heaved a shaky sigh.
* * *
Two gates were my objective that day—after I had breakfast and convinced the twins I had things to do. They were disappointed, I could tell. I took out forty nesting pairs of Flakkar. Their numbers were getting smaller, but their attacks were just as destructive. Both worlds were in their industrial infancy and had no explanation for the disappearances among the population and no way to combat the Flakkar, even if they'd known the monsters were there. I gated back to Earth when I was finished, feeling weary.
Misting inside my bathroom, I managed a quick shower before walking into my bedroom while I toweled off. Drake was there in my bed, waiting for me. "We flipped a coin. I won," he said. He was completely naked, totally unembarrassed about it and was stroking himself as he watched me walk around the room wrapped only in a towel.
"I don't know what to do with you," I said, sounding frustrated. And I was having a difficult time taking my eyes off him. I'd read erotic romance novels that didn't get me this heated up.
"Come here and I'll show you," he purred, amusement lighting his dark eyes. "Come on, baby. I'll take good care of you, I promise."
What was I supposed to do? There was a very handsome man in my bed, offering to take care of me. I ended up at the side of the bed and he reached out, carefully taking my towel away with gentle fingers. Drake coaxed me into bed, put his hands on every inch of me and made me forget my doubts and troubles for a while.
* * *
"Anthony, what is taking so long?" Gavin always woke before Tony did, and he was eager to begin the hunt for three reported rogues in Amsterdam.
"Coming," Tony walked out of his bedroom, clean, dressed and ready to go. Both he and Gavin jumped when someone appeared in the tiny, safe house kitchen. Both relaxed when they saw who it was.
"I told you we'd see each other again," the tall male offered a smile.
"You look so much older," Gavin sighed, shaking his head.
"Hazards of the trade." A wry grin was offered. "Can't be help
ed."
"Why are you here? Is there a problem?" Tony asked with a frown. This one never came unless there was a problem somewhere. Neither he nor Gavin had seen him in more than two centuries.
"I came to give back what was taken from you," their guest replied.
"What?" Tony asked. Gavin's mask fell into place.
"Very important memories," their guest replied. Light formed around him while his eyes went dark as midnight, with stars shining through.
* * *
"What do you have, child?" Flavio looked up from his desk computer when Charles walked into his study, carrying a large file box. Flavio was puzzled—they no longer kept records on paper. Everything was electronic.
"I was asked to bring this to you, Father. It's important." Charles vibrated with excitement, and Flavio couldn't fathom the reason.
"Who asked you to bring it?" Flavio searched his only living child's face for answers.
"An old friend. He says this will give back what you lost. You and the Council," Charles grinned. "And when my friend says something like that, you can take it to the bank."
"Charles, no metaphors, please," Flavio stared at the box as Charles plopped it over the computer screen covering the center of his desk. Gone was the antique that Wlodek used so long—Flavio still had it, in his private suite. He used this desk instead, because the computer covered the surface.
"Go on, open it," Charles hid a grin.
"Child, if this is a trick," Flavio lifted the lid and light bloomed from the box.
* * *
"What do you mean, they all remembered? Is this some kind of joke? Belen says none of his kind had anything to do with it." Kiarra paced in her library, while Merrill, Adam and Pheligar watched.
"Flavio says Charles found an old box with all her information inside, and the memory triggered. Five minutes later, he received calls from the Council—they all remembered. We have no explanation for it. Flavio contacted Wlodek with mindspeech; Wlodek went to investigate. This box is what he brought from Flavio's office." Merrill jerked his head toward the box sitting on the low table between sofas. It contained records, photographs and legal documents. "And now, the entire Council wants a meeting with her. They all want her back. There's no way she'll consent to that. Lissa informed me plainly that she wasn't willing to answer to anyone, ever again." Merrill's voice held guilt as well as pain.
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