“Same time next week? My regular client will still be on vacation.”
“That sounds good.”
I step out of her office, somehow both lighter and heavier than when I came in. I have an action plan on what to do, but the thought of doing it… how can I face her again? Especially after what I pulled the other night showing up at her apartment like that.
Keep moving forward.
Yeah, I can do that. I hope.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Mia
Tyler: Can I come over?
I stare at the text on my screen, wondering if I’m possibly hallucinating. After that night he spent over here earlier in the week, sure, I’ve thought about if everything he said was for real, if he intended to actually act on any of it. But it’s been radio silence for two days. I figured he’d regretted it and we’d go back to the status quo of speaking the bare minimum to each other in the lab.
Another text comes in, not even thirty seconds after.
Tyler: I’d like to talk to you. Apologize for a lot of things.
My brows rise. Well, I’ll never turn down an apology. Especially from him.
Me: I’m home all night.
Twenty minutes later, a knock sounds on my front door. Kelsey’s still making the most of her spring break, so she’s not here to witness the groveling that’s about to happen. At least, I assume that’s what will happen. I’m actually not sure.
My heart beats harder in my chest as I turn the knob, and I smooth down the front of my freshly changed shirt. I mean, did I frantically change clothes, brush my teeth, put on makeup, and clean the apartment before he got here? Sure. You know, just preparing for any eventuality.
He’s standing there in a blue button-down that makes his eyes even brighter, gazing hesitantly at me. “Hi.”
I swallow, leaning against the door, suddenly overwhelmed at seeing him. “Hi,” I whisper back.
“These are for you.” He hands me a plate covered in tin foil. “I made them.”
I peel back a corner to find the saddest-looking cupcakes ever, with drooping icing and big bald patches revealing overdone tops. They’re like one of those terrible Pinterest fails.
Still, I can’t help the smile that threatens to take over my face. “You made these for me?”
He nods, more hopeful now, and I pull one off the plate and bite into it enthusiastically. My eyes water a bit, the urge to spit it out overwhelming. “It’s really sweet,” I choke out, backing up into the apartment and toward the kitchen to grab a drink.
He rubs a hand along the back of his neck, following me, and closes the door behind him. “I was worried they wouldn’t be sweet enough, so I added more sugar. I know you like sweet things. That’s why I couldn’t figure out why you liked me.”
I set the rest of the cupcake down on the counter, my smile dropping.
“Did you come over here to rub that in my face?”
“No,” he rushes to say, looking uncomfortable, so unlike his normal self-assured demeanor. “I just wanted to do something for you, show you I’m… trying.”
I stay silent, waiting to see what he’ll add.
“I’m sorry I called you the other night. And then showed up drunk. That wasn’t fair to you.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “And then you left the next morning.”
He nods regretfully. “I left.”
“You didn’t say goodbye. Didn’t leave a note. Not even a text.”
He hangs his head down low. “I was ashamed.”
“Of what?”
“Of how I acted. You were right. I shouldn’t have—”
I hold up my hand to stop him. “I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”
He pauses, mentally reviewing what he said, then seems to catch my meaning. “You were right.” He smirks.
“Just making sure.”
He relaxes, some of the pressure off him at my teasing. “I’m glad you were being responsible and didn’t take advantage of the situation. You’re so… you’re so good,” he sighs. I can’t tell if he means it as a compliment, though. “I shouldn’t have put that kind of burden on you after all the things I did, or didn’t do, before.”
“Okay.” Where is he going with this? I hope he’s not expecting me to absolve him of all past misdeeds. Not without giving me a reason.
“I, um,” he starts, shifting his feet and swallowing heavily. “I started seeing a therapist.”
Now that grabs my attention. “You did?”
“I spoke with her on the phone yesterday and then went in for an appointment today.”
I hold my breath, watching him wrestle with whatever it is he’s trying to express.
“I’m tired of living my life closed off. You made me see I want more.”
“And what do you want, Tyler?”
He looks me fully in the eye, no hesitation on his face. “You.”
My hardened heart softens, my body physically swaying toward him for a moment before I stop myself.
“Some, uh, revelations about my family prompted it too,” he continues, “and I realized I need to open up and trust, especially to the people who have shown me over and over again they’re worth it.”
He steps closer, running a thumb down my cheek, his gaze tender. “I’m not claiming to be cured or anything. I know I still have a lot of work to do. But you are the most amazing person I’ve ever met.” He cups my face more fully, his touch everything I’ve been missing from my life. “And I want to explore this thing we have further. If you’ll give me another chance.”
I swallow back tears, giddy with hope. “Are you saying you want a relationship?”
He nods. “I want to be your boyfriend,” he whispers, so full of longing, it makes my chest physically ache. “If you’ll have me.” He’s calm and steady now, no hint of the previous steadfast refusal to acknowledge what’s been going on between us.
My body yearns to hug him close, pepper his face with kisses, and demand him to take me here and now.
But my heart… I still can’t let go of the number of times he’s claimed he doesn’t want a girlfriend. “How can I be sure you won’t have a change of heart?”
His face drops, dejected. “That last time… in bed… you asked me to trust you. I’m asking you now to do the same. Even though it’s completely unfair.” He reaches for my hand and I let him, intertwining our fingers together. “I can’t guarantee the future, but I do know I’m going to work on my trust issues, and that includes putting my trust in you, no matter what you decide to do with it. My—” His voice falters for a moment before he continues on, looking me in the eye. “My heart is in your hands.”
My own heart melts at the sentiment, his vulnerability. Has he ever exposed himself like this with someone before?
I step closer, every movement increasing the hope in his eyes, and place a hand over the left side of his chest. “You can trust me with it.”
He leans forward, groaning as his lips meet mine for the first time in weeks. There’s urgency lurking behind his kiss, but he keeps his movements slow, purposeful, cradling my face tenderly. “I’ve missed you so much,” he whispers. “I didn’t realize how deep under my skin you were until you weren’t there anymore.”
He doesn’t give me a chance to respond as he backs me up against the wall, his hands in my hair now, teasing my mouth with light strokes of his tongue. The way he kisses me, it feels richer somehow, deeper. Like he’s truly making an effort to emotionally connect with me.
I moan, greedy for him, then remember myself, untangling from his hold. “I’ve spent weeks trying to get over you. You’ll have to give me a minute to process all this.”
He nods regretfully, sticking his hands in his jeans pockets.
I bite my lip, watching him anxiously await what I’ll say. As if I’m the one who determines his fate. I admit, the power is heady.
“Will you go on a date with me?”
He startles, eyes narrowing. “A date?”
I
smile at him. “Yeah, you know that thing where two people who like each other go out?”
He grins back at me, cupping my face gently. “This is so far past just liking, but yes. I want to go on a thousand dates with you. A million. Every night. I can’t imagine ever running out of things to say to you.”
My breath catches at his sensual tone, the tender look in his eye. I can only focus on so much though, going back to what he first said. “It’s past liking?”
“God, yes. Do you think I could stand here and say all this with just anybody? I couldn’t stop this from happening with you, no matter how hard I tried.” There’s a softness in his face I’ve rarely seen, lending added meaning to his words. “I love you, Mia.”
A hiccuping sob escapes me, along with immediate tears that drip down my face in hot splashes. I wasn’t expecting any of this. It’s almost more than I can take.
His softness morphs into concern. “Was that the wrong thing to say? Was it too soon? I thought you’d want to know—”
I cover his mouth with my hand. “It was the perfect thing to say.” I release him, frantically wiping at my face. “These are happy tears.” His eyes finally lose their worried edge, and I sniffle, struggling to find the right words. “I’ve been trying to bury these feelings, but the truth is I’m so in love with you too.”
His gaze gleams with satisfaction as he picks me up, encouraging me to wrap my legs around his waist. “I’ll take you on your date, but I need you now.” He nuzzles at my neck, his deep voice in my ear zinging due south. “I need to know you’re mine.”
Well, how can I say no to the pleading in his tone? Especially when I want it as much as him.
He walks us over to my bedroom, shutting the door with his foot behind him and sets me on the bed.
“I’m yours,” I whisper, scooting further back, making room for him. “Even before you were ready to hear it.”
“I’ll never deny you again,” he says fervently as he lies down next to me, finally, blessedly touching me. “You make me stronger, not weaker. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking trying to push you away.” He slings an arm around my waist, rubbing his palm up and down my back. “I thought it would keep me safe, but it was worse. I ended up being more stressed out and had to start doing your biofeedback stuff,” he sheepishly admits.
I run a finger along his brows and down his jaw, needing to touch him too, loving the freedom I have now to do it without worrying if it’s okay. “I’m glad it helped.”
“You were with me every time I did it. Just the thought of your voice soothed me.”
A happy smile spreads across my lips. “So I’m not the only one with a voice fetish?”
“I get it now,” he admits, his mouth quirking up on one side. “The way you speak in the lab has a certain cadence to it, a rhythm. I find myself paying more attention to you than what I’m supposed to be doing.”
I scoot closer until my mouth is directly next to his ear. “And what would you like me to say to you?”
I yelp as he grabs me around the waist, lifting me up to straddle him. “Tell me what to do,” he says, half playful, half demanding. “Like last time. You’re in control.”
I lean over him, the tips of my breasts brushing his chest until he can hear me up close and personal. “I want you to strip me naked,” I tell him in what I’ve deemed my lab voice, all calm, even tones designed to relax. But my actual words have the intended effect, causing him to groan as he works my shirt over my head and undoes my bra clasp.
The feel of his warm palms cupping my breasts, squeezing me in the most delicious way, has me arching into his touch, but it’s gone all too soon as he releases me to uncover my lower half.
“I want you bare too,” I pant, needing the skin-on-skin contact. He sets me aside to rid us both of the remainder of our clothes, his muscles flexing as he slips off his boxers.
I run my palms over his broad shoulders, down his defined pecs, his flat stomach, then back up his arms, marveling at the sinewy forearms and cut of his biceps. My own personal man candy.
“Will you touch me?” I stretch out next to him, eager for his hands once more.
“Where?” His eyes are alight with lust, roaming over my body. How is it that I can inspire that kind of reaction from him?
“Anywhere,” I sigh, as his fingers brush over my abdomen, sending tingles through me.
“Talk dirty to me,” he whispers in my ear, stroking the underside of my breast lightly, so close yet so far to where I want him. “I love hearing you get naughty.”
Dirty? In the heat of the moment, sure, but when I actually have to think about it?
Don’t even bother. He’s gonna laugh himself right out of this bed listening to you.
“Um, bring your hand up.”
“That’s not dirty,” he chides, still caressing the tender skin.
“Cup me. My breasts.” I try to inch my way down on the mattress, but he stops me.
“Dirtier. I know you can do better than that.”
I squirm, his barely there movements so close to my breast driving me crazy. “Put your mouth on me. Suck my tits. Lick my nipples. Pinch me. Rub me. Yes, yes,” I cry out in relief as he finally does, following what I say to a tee. “God, that’s amazing.”
“It’s all for you,” he whispers as he nips at me.
I delve my hands into his thick hair, holding him close as he uses his mouth to suck me, the pressure making me wild.
“Finger me.” My voice comes out breathless, all seductive passion I didn’t know I was capable of. But it’s like someone else has taken me over, solely intent on as much pleasure as possible. “Two fingers, in your mouth first, then inside me.”
He groans at my breast and does what I say, slipping his index and middle fingers in his mouth, keeping eye contact with me, the bright blue of his eyes holding me in place. He carefully brings his hand down my body, parting and entering me, the intrusion so welcome I buck my hips so he’ll go deeper. I need more, more, more of him.
“I love how you hold nothing back. Everything is right there for me to see.” He plunges his fingers in and out of me, so incredibly wet with my desire I’d be embarrassed if I wasn’t so goddamn turned on. If he didn’t make me insane with wanting. “Show me what I do to you,” he whispers darkly.
A keening cry escapes me as he uses his thumb to circle my clit, lifting his head to press kisses along the length of my neck. I buck against him, unable to take much more, so close…
“Come for me, Mia,” he growls in my ear, pushing me over the edge.
I grip his shoulders tightly, using them as leverage to ride his fingers till I’m spent.
He wipes the hair back from my face and kisses me softly, deeply, until I’m completely at peace, every sense attuned to him.
“What does this dirty mouth have planned for us next?” he asks, tracing the outline of my lower lip with his thumb. The same one that just drove me wild on my clit.
I look down the length of our bodies, his cock gorgeously erect against his thigh. “Will you touch yourself for me?”
His eyes stay on mine as he reaches a hand down, gripping himself, lips parting at the welcome relief. He moves his fist steadily up and down, until I’m unable to keep eye contact with him, continually switching between watching him stroke himself and meeting his gaze, incapable of deciding which I love more.
His mouth curves to one side. “You like watching me?”
I nod, biting my lip. All that power of his leashed, under his control. I want it for myself. “Inside me. Now.”
“Whatever you want,” he whispers, leaving me briefly to grab a condom out of his wallet, rolling it on with sure hands.
The speed he does it with reminds me of how many times he’s done this. I hold up a hand as he returns to me, suddenly needing to know something. “The last few weeks, while we were apart… were you with anyone else?”
He must see the anxiety on my face because he rubs gentle palms down my arms, kiss
ing me reassuringly. “No,” he says seriously. “I can’t go back to anything meaningless. Not after being with you.”
I return his kiss, breathing in deep as he enters me slowly, adjusting around him, loving how he fills me until there’s nothing but him.
His hand curls over my hip, holding me in place as he begins to thrust. “It’s my turn now.”
“To do what?”
“To talk dirty to you.” He grins wickedly. “To tell you how incredibly wet your pussy is clenched around me. When I slide in and out of you, it feels like heaven.” He makes a point of speeding up his strokes briefly, slick and snug.
“I love watching your tits bounce up and down, begging for my tongue.” He leans down, capturing a nipple in his mouth. I moan, gripping him tighter, spurring him on to move faster, harder.
“How soft you are.” He trails his fingers up my side. “I can’t get enough of how you feel. And your legs around me,” he murmurs. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be than between your legs.”
Good. There’s nowhere else I’d rather him be either. All that strength, right under my fingertips. I smooth a palm down his ass, giving it a light slap.
He looks at me in surprise, then narrows his eyes, a devilish gleam in them. “Oh, you’re in for it now.”
He brings one of my legs up over his shoulder, changing the angle, somehow deeper within me. He grips my hips, keeping me in place as he moves quicker, every thrust sending a jolt of electricity through me.
I claw at the bedsheets, trying to catch my breath, overcome by this sense of domination as he surrounds me, but eventually accept it, letting him use my body to bring us both to greater heights.
The climax builds within me until I’m teetering on the verge, his masterful strokes bringing me closer, closer…
“I love you, Tyler,” I choke out as I fall, my back bowing, feeling him everywhere at once.
“God, I love you.” His gaze is fierce as he watches me come for him, then leans forward, bracing himself against the headboard as he finds his own satisfaction, groaning in my ear, the sound sending tingles throughout me. Or maybe it’s the orgasm doing it.
Under Pressure (Lessons Learned Book 1) Page 22
