by Kim Law
And she most definitely didn’t want to be alone.
She peered at the ground as she passed over the area, knowing her parents would love to see her. They hadn’t been shy recently in pointing out that she didn’t visit enough. And she didn’t. But her parents’ house wasn’t where she wanted to be, either. So she headed north along the eastern shoreline. Toward Wilde Cherry Farm. And she called herself a fool as she did it.
But she rationalized her move with facts. She hadn’t talked to Nick since dropping him off Sunday morning, and she had promised to give him a ride back to his truck. Therefore, she should check on the state of his truck repairs.
Of course, she could call. Or text. She had his number.
But she didn’t want to call or text.
Only, as she neared the orchard, her inner voice spoke up once again, having one single word to say to her. Fool. Because she could see Nick from her altitude, and she recognized the quick zing of attraction for what it was. He was behind a push mower in one the fields, working between two rows of trees, and she would almost swear that she could make out each and every muscle group bunching under his T-shirt as he moved.
She knew better, of course. She was too far up to really be able to see the sculpted dips and valleys of his upper torso. But that didn’t keep her from imagining what it would look like. Same as she’d done all week. The man turned her on in a way that she should definitely avoid.
She hovered above him, lowering only until he stopped what he was doing and peered up. He tugged earbuds from his ears and shaded his eyes with one hand—and Harper bit her lip at the sight. Sweaty, a little rumpled, and a whole lot hot. The man was definitely too good-looking.
Either that, or she’d hit middle age early and was having her first hot flash.
She tilted the helo a couple of times, “waving” the blades at him, and smiled when he lifted a hand in return. Then she headed for the open field where she’d put down the last time she’d been there. She saw Nick move in the same direction, and danged if her fingers didn’t begin to twitch with excitement. She was happy to see him. And that feeling was as foreign to her as the fact that she’d intentionally sought him out.
As she lowered to the ground, she silently instructed herself to get a grip. He was simply a hot guy. There were plenty of hot guys in the world. Hotness didn’t mean anything.
Unless she decided to do something about it.
After letting the machine cool off, she shut it down, but she continued sitting in the pilot’s seat as Nick neared. She thought about the fact that he was younger than her. Then she pictured the more-than-willing, much-younger woman she’d seen wrapped around him after his win Saturday night. He’d seemed quite content with someone like that. And chances were he’d gotten over his crush on her years ago, anyway.
Except, she’d seen the heat in his eyes Sunday morning.
She might have tried to convince herself that’s not what it had been, but she hadn’t believed it, even then. He was attracted to her.
And she was attracted to him.
She jumped to the ground before he could make it all the way across the field, and headed through the grass to meet him. His smile was broad by the time she reached his side, and she couldn’t help but smile in return. And subtly check him out. His T-shirt clung to his body—she could definitely make out the outlines of his muscles now—and his dark hair was damp and mussed.
Nick motioned behind her. “You do know that isn’t a helicopter parking lot, right?”
She glanced over her shoulder, taking the moment to pull in a deep breath. He even smelled good. Manly good. “Wouldn’t take much to make it one.” She turned back. “A small concrete pad. A couple of tie-downs.” She gave a lazy one-shoulder shrug. “It’s totally doable.”
His blue eyes sparkled. “Yet you don’t seem to have a problem landing it on the grass, either. In fact, I’d be willing to bet you wouldn’t have a problem putting it down most anywhere. Not if your flying abilities the other day are anything to go by.”
Her smile widened at his reminder of their prior conversation.
“Not most anywhere,” she corrected. “Anywhere. But that’s because my balls are bigger than yours.”
Nick looked her over then. Slowly. And his scrutiny lit goose bumps along her skin. This was why she’d come here instead of to her parents’ house. Because Nick Wilde made her feel. And whether that dredged up guilt or not, she wanted to feel.
When his gaze returned to hers, his direct stare sent a shiver down her spine. “You might have balls,” he started, his voice dropping lower, “but I could take you on size.”
She gulped. Things had suddenly turned intense.
Panic snatched at her, and she glanced away. She had to change the subject. She wasn’t ready for this. Turning her body so she was at a right angle to him, she slowed her breathing and took in the lake. It glistened in the afternoon sunlight. Staring at it, Nick’s hotness temporarily evaporated, and she was suddenly overwhelmed with love for this area. Not that she’d ever not loved her hometown, but her gratitude seemed to be larger today. Her senses sharper.
When she turned back, once again having herself under control and pretending they hadn’t just been flirting, she silently begged him to do the same. “Heard when your truck will be ready yet?”
“Tomorrow afternoon.”
“Did you still want me to take you?” Her heart beat faster as she asked the question.
“If you don’t mind.” He’d clearly picked up on her need to back off, and he put an additional foot of space between them. Then he motioned with his head toward the path leading out of the field. “I need a break. Want to take a walk since you’re here?”
It was her turn to nod.
She hadn’t meant to get flirty with him, and now she didn’t mean for them to be so serious. There had to be a balance. But she didn’t know how to get to that point yet. So she walked. And she enjoyed the scenery as they went.
They moved through the fields side by side, skirting around cherry trees—whose branches were filled with tiny green cherries—until they came out on a ridge providing an even better view of the lake. They stopped at the edge, and she took in the clear water and the mountains on the far side. There was still snow on the peaks, and the sky behind them was the kind of vivid blue that had always made her know she’d return to Montana after leaving the army.
Without warning, her shoulders relaxed. She’d been carrying too much tension since the accident, she knew that, but she’d been unable to shed any of it. Today, though, a bit of it seeped from her body.
“I forget how much I miss home until every time I visit,” Nick said.
She looked at him. His words made him sound lonely. “Do you come home often?”
“Often enough. A few times a year. But . . .” He shook his head. “I come home and I look at this view and I suck in the smell of the air, and . . . I know I’m not that far away, but the air here is different. I used to be here during visits, and do nothing but think of how soon I could leave again. But now, I’m already concerned that my father will return before I’m ready to go.”
“Then don’t go.”
He chuckled drily. “But I don’t live here.” He blew out a breath, his cheeks puffing with the motion, then shook his head once again as if flinging his thoughts from his mind. “How about you?” He turned to her. “How long have you been home?”
“Four years.” Sort of. The west shore wasn’t really home, even though Lakeside was where she lived now. She intended to end her words there, but found herself continuing. “Thomas and I spent a couple of years traveling after we both got out of the army. We wanted to experience more, you know? Live in different parts of the world on our own terms. We got out at twenty-two, then came home at twenty-four. Or, we came here. Thomas wasn’t originally from the valley, but he’d visited as a kid. His parents had a summer home on the lake at one point, and they used to ski up in Whitefish . . .” She trailed off as she tho
ught about why they’d stopped coming to Montana. Why they’d never been willing to accept her as part of Thomas’s life.
“Did you know him then?”
She shook her head. “We were only kids. I never met him until after we both enlisted, and that was on the other side of the world.” She glanced at Nick. “Strange how things happen, huh?”
“Sounds like fate to me.”
“Fate?” She shot him a disbelieving look. “You a romantic, Wilde? A big-time charmer like you?”
He chuckled. “Hardly. Okay, then, a happy coincidence? I mean, his parents had to like that, right? If they’d vacationed here in the past. Him meeting a girl from the same area must have been ideal. Nice reason to visit again.”
She fought to hide her true feelings. “They would have preferred he meet someone from California.”
“Why is that?”
She shrugged and went back to staring out at the lake. “That’s where they live. They didn’t like it when he signed up for the army and appreciated it even less when he never returned home.”
“He didn’t get along with them?”
“They just saw the world through different lenses.” She slid a sideways glance toward Nick, wondering if she was sharing too much, but he seemed genuinely interested. That’s when she realized that she wanted to talk about Thomas. It’d been too long since she’d done anything but think of her husband in anything other than a bad light.
Yet, Thomas had been an honorable man. He’d entered the military for a noble cause.
“They came from money,” she told Nick. “So much that Thomas wouldn’t have had to work if he hadn’t wanted to. But Thomas was their only child, so his dad expected him to follow in his footsteps. Work in the family business. Only, Thomas was dead set on enlisting.”
“What kind of business?”
“Vacation resorts. They have them all over the world. Third-generation business that his great-grandfather started with a small inheritance and a dream.” She repeated the words as she’d heard them said so many times.
“And Thomas wasn’t interested?”
“It’s not that he wasn’t interested in the business, he was just more interested in other things. He’d grown up listening to his maternal grandfather tell stories of his time in the service. And that’s what Thomas wanted to do.” She couldn’t bring herself to share the additional reasoning behind Thomas’s mind-set.
“You two had a lot in common . . . didn’t your grandfather serve, too?”
“Good memory. And yes, a lot in common.” They’d often seemed like one person.
They’d had similar outlooks in life—to live for the moment. They’d both been vigilant about maintaining right from wrong. About seeing that no one was left behind—in any fashion, whether that meant vacationers on a mountaintop or comrades in the desert. And they’d both wanted to pass their love of living for the moment on to their kids.
But at the same time, she’d often wondered if Thomas’s life motto hadn’t been kept alive more by her than by him. She’d certainly heard that accusation enough.
“You loved him a lot.” Nick said, not making it a question, and she nodded mutely.
“I loved him a lot,” she whispered. “From the very first moment that we met.”
She really hadn’t intended to talk about her husband when she’d set out to come here today. Or had she? Wasn’t that why Nick had given her his phone number?
But how had he known that she needed to talk about Thomas?
They stood in silence for several more minutes, and she thought about her marriage. Losing Thomas had never once crossed her mind when they were married. They were supposed to grow old together.
There were supposed to have kids.
The thought of all she’d lost had her turning away and heading back toward her helicopter. She’d talked enough for one day. Nick let her lead for several minutes before catching up, but he didn’t immediately speak. When they came out of the trees, though, and the helo sat across the field in front of them, he finally broke the silence. And she appreciated his levity.
“So is that thing your only means of transportation?”
She smiled halfheartedly. “I also own a four-wheel-drive truck, as well as a jeep.”
“No car for you?”
“Cars don’t always go where I want to take them.” They reached the perimeter of the helicopter, and she turned to him. “But I’d just finished up a job today. Hadn’t made it back home yet.”
“What do you do?”
“Whatever someone will pay me for.” She spent a couple of minutes filling him in on the types of fares she contracted for. Tours over Glacier National Park, a pickup or drop-off from airports, showing realtors and potential buyers around the area.
“You stay busy?”
“I do okay.” Only, she didn’t do what they’d purchased the helicopter for. She glanced toward the lake once again. “So . . . tomorrow?”
“You’re not going to try to make me puke again, are you?”
She deadpanned. “Only if you get on my nerves again.”
“Well, I’m not sure I can promise not to do that.” He smiled at her then. It wasn’t the panty-dropping, making-women-beg-at-his-feet smile that he seemed to enjoy bandying about so much . . . but it was potent enough. In fact, she had the same reaction to this one as she’d had when he had turned the super-sexy smile on her. She got hot all over.
But the thing was, she’d thought her response was about attraction. A simple reawakening of her libido. Only, at the moment, it wasn’t merely parts of her coming back to life. It was desire. It was hunger.
She wanted sex, and she wanted it with Nick.
The realization floored her.
“Let me pay you for the ride tomorrow.”
She looked down her nose at him. “As if.”
Then he shifted and leaned in. It was a subtle move, but she couldn’t miss it. He was crowding her. Testing her boundaries. And her internal panic button blazed to life.
And what she realized was that just because she had a reawakened urge to do more than lie alone in her own bed at night, it didn’t necessarily mean she was actually ready to do more. She took a step back. “We’ll call it a favor for my little sister’s friend,” she suggested.
“How about a favor for your friend?”
Her pulse thumped harder. Did friendship come with responsibilities she wasn’t ready for?
Nick studied her as she battled with her internal dialogue, and she sensed that he wouldn’t let her tease the moment away. He was pushing her, seeing where she’d let him in. But she couldn’t bring herself to answer. Because she didn’t know the answer. Friendship somehow seemed scarier than the idea of sex.
“Could you use a friend, Harper?”
“I—”
“Because I could use one.”
The moment had grown heavy once again. “I somehow suspect that you have all the friends you need, Mr. Montana’s Favorite Cowboy. You certainly didn’t seem to be lacking for any Saturday night.”
Interest flared in his eyes at her words, and she realized he could take them to mean that she’d been watching him at the rodeo last weekend. As she had been. But he politely didn’t point that out.
Instead, his voice lowered, and he said, “But I don’t have any who know my secrets.”
Shock froze her. Nick Wilde had secrets? He seemed so carefree.
“I’ll pick you up here after lunch.” She backed toward the cockpit door. She didn’t want to talk about secrets, his or hers. “I have an early charter in the morning, but I’ll be here by one.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
Forcing herself to break eye contact, she turned and climbed into the cockpit. Her hands were shaking as she powered up, but she ignored them. She didn’t know what she wanted from Nick. Someone to talk to? Sex? A friend?
And what were his secrets?
Dang. He had her all kinds of confused.
But more than that, h
e had her all kinds of interested.
Chapter Five
That’s eight seconds for Jeb Mauley, folks!”
Nick kept his face impassive as he stood, arms slung over the top rung of the gate, and waited for his competitor’s score to be announced. It was night one in Great Falls, and it seemed everyone had upped their game. Especially the rookie out of Fort Benton. Nick’s agent had already pointed the same fact out several times that evening, until Nick had barked at him to find someone else to annoy. It wasn’t that Nick was overly concerned with one event. He never won every competition. Nobody did. It was that Charlie had also been badgering him about the PBR all night.
Jeb’s score flashed on the scoreboard hanging above the crowd, and Nick pressed his lips together. That was a good score.
“That kid might just beat you this weekend.”
He glanced over to find Harper standing next to him, her arms slung over the gate like his.
She nodded toward Jeb. “He seems to be on a streak. Nipping at your heels last weekend, and that score right there just overtook yours.”
“It’s only day one of the competition.”
“I’m just saying . . .”
Nick frowned at her. “It’s not a crime not to win every weekend.”
“No,” she mused. Her head tilted slightly. “But if you’re ‘the man’ . . .”
Which was the exact problem he was having tonight. Everyone expected him to be “the man.” “Jeb’s good,” he pointed out. “He’s going to win a few.”
“True. But he’s going at it like maybe he wants to be the man,” Harper teased. Mischief danced in her eyes “I mean . . . watch him. He’s not giving you an inch.”
Nick didn’t reply. He merely squinted at her in frustration. Because he very much suspected that Jeb not only could be the man—with a bit more time—but that he someday would be.
They both turned their attention to the next rider readying in the chute. The guy’s spotter was a friend of Nick’s. They’d met his first year out on his own, and Nick had pulled him into the sport. The bull dropped his front legs and twisted before the rider could get properly seated, nearly pinning his leg between the bull and the back gate, and Nick and Harper both sucked in a sharp breath. The spotter jabbed at the bull just in time.
