JUST PLAIN NOT FUNNY!
Stevie shrugged again. Ms. Vogel was being awfully dramatic about this whole thing. Stevie’s jokes were just harmless fun. Nobody minded them—did they?
“Sometimes something you think is funny can seem mean or obnoxious to someone else,” Ms. Vogel went on. “Or just plain not funny.”
Stevie didn’t spend a lot of time worrying about what other people thought of her. Usually she liked most people, and most people liked her back. Or so she had always thought. But now, for the first time, she began to wonder. Her jokes were funny. Weren’t they? Or—the unwelcome thought floated into Stevie’s mind, along with the angry faces of her brothers, Max, Veronica, and countless others who had been the victims of her wit—did her jokes actually annoy more people than they amused?
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RL 5, 009–012
HORSE CAPADES
A Bantam Skylark Book / March 1997
Skylark Books is a registered trademark of Bantam Books, a division of Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group, Inc. Registered in U.S. Patent and Trademark Office and elsewhere.
“The Saddle Club” is a registered trademark of Bonnie Bryant Hiller.
The Saddle Club design/logo, which consists of a riding crop and a riding hat, is a trademark of Bantam Books.
“USPC” and “Pony Club” are registered trademarks of The United States Pony Clubs, Inc., at The Kentucky Horse Park, 4071 Iron Works Pike, Lexington, KY 40511-8462.
All rights reserved.
Copyright © 1997 by Bonnie Bryant Hiller.
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
For information address: Bantam Books.
eISBN: 978-0-307-82564-3
Published simultaneously in the United States and Canada.
Bantam Books are published by Bantam Books, a division of Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group, Inc. Its trademark, consisting of the words “Bantam Books” and the portrayal of a rooster, is Registered in U.S. Patent and Trademark Office and in other countries. Marca Registrada. Bantam Books, 1540 Broadway, New York, New York 10036.
v3.1
I would like to express my special thanks to Catherine Hapka for her help in the writing of this book.
Contents
Cover
Other Skylark Books
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
About the Author
“HERE SHE COMES,” Stevie Lake whispered eagerly, poking her head over the half door of the stall where Carole Hanson was grooming her horse, Starlight.
Carole looked up. “Who?” she asked.
Stevie rolled her eyes. When Carole was busy fussing over Starlight—or any other horse, for that matter—she tended to forget about everything else. “Veronica, of course,” Stevie said impatiently. “Her limo just pulled up. And my greatest practical joke ever is ready—just in time.”
Now it was Carole’s turn to roll her eyes. Stevie was one of her two best friends, and one of the things Carole and their other best friend, Lisa Atwood, loved about her was her wacky sense of humor. But sometimes even Stevie’s best friends got a little tired of her practical jokes.
“Are you sure you want to pull something like this on Veronica right now?” Carole said, picking at a knot in Starlight’s mane. “She’s still pretty annoyed with you for putting her on that mailing list for Shoppers Anonymous. And if Max catches you, he might not be too cool about it considering that time last month when you put all the grain in the tool shed and all the tools in the grain shed.” Max Regnery was the owner and manager of Pine Hollow Stables, where Stevie and her friends rode.
Stevie just grinned. “That was a good one, wasn’t it?” she said. “A lot of work, but well worth it. And to answer your question, sure, I’m sure. There’s no such thing as playing too many jokes on Veronica diAngelo.”
Veronica was a spoiled, snobby rich girl who cared more about the color of her riding breeches than the condition of her horse. She owned a gorgeous Thoroughbred named Danny; he was perfectly trained and had a show record as long as her arm. But the thing that mattered most to Veronica was that Danny had been outrageously expensive.
“Normally I’d agree with you,” Carole said, dropping her mane comb into Starlight’s grooming bucket. “But just now I wonder if you ought to slow down before someone gets hurt. Like you, for instance.” She was remembering all the times Stevie’s practical jokes had gotten her—and sometimes her friends—in hot water.
Stevie just shrugged. “I know what I’m doing, okay?” she said. She sounded a little annoyed, so Carole decided not to say anything else. When Stevie was involved in one of her schemes, there was usually no stopping her.
At that moment a familiar voice floated down the aisle. “Oh, Re-e-ed!” Veronica called.
Red O’Malley was Pine Hollow’s head stable hand, but Veronica treated him more like her own personal groom. Max believed that riding shouldn’t begin when a person climbed into the saddle and end when they climbed out. He insisted that all the riders at Pine Hollow take care of the horses they rode, as well as help out with the stable chores. Stevie, Carole, and Lisa didn’t mind Max’s rules one bit. They loved horses so much that they wanted to learn absolutely everything about them. That was why the three girls had formed The Saddle Club. The group had only two rules: Members had to be horse-crazy, and they had to be willing to help one another with any problem, great or small.
Veronica, on the other hand, was never willing to help anyone with anything, unless it was herself. And that meant she ignored Max’s rules whenever she thought she could get away with it. When her parents had first bought Danny for her, Veronica had spent a lot of time grooming him and looking after his every need. But once the novelty had worn off—in about an hour—she had returned to her usual habit of demanding that Red do most of the work for her. Lately she had grown even lazier than usual. Instead of arriving at Pine Hollow and then telling Red to get Danny ready for her, Veronica had actually started calling ahead so she wouldn’t have to get to the stable any sooner than necessary.
Stevie grinned when she heard Veronica coming. “This is going to be great,” she said. “I’m going to go get a front-row seat. Want to come?”
“Go ahead without me,” Carole said. “I have some work to do here first, and I don’t want to be late for the Horse Wise meeting.” Horse Wise was Pine Hollow’s branch of the United States Pony Club. Stevie, Carole, and Lisa were all members. At the moment, Veronica was a member, too, although she had been kicked out more than once in the past f
or her unsportsmanlike behavior.
Stevie said good-bye to Carole and hurried down the aisle toward the locker room. On the way, she passed Lisa.
“Where are you going?” Lisa asked. She was busy fastening her shoulder-length light-brown hair into a ponytail. “It’s almost time for Horse Wise to start.”
“Belle’s all ready,” Stevie said hurriedly. “She’s waiting in her stall. Come with me if you don’t want to miss the fun.”
Looking a little confused, Lisa followed her friend into the locker room. When the two girls arrived, Veronica had just pulled something out of her cubby and was staring at it with a mixture of surprise, annoyance, and disgust. She whirled around and immediately trained her eyes on Stevie.
“Stevie Lake!” she cried. “I know you’re responsible for this stupid trick. What have you done with my gloves?” She held up a pair of fuzzy woolen mittens. They were hot pink with yellow stripes and bright green thumbs. Lisa bit her lip to keep from laughing.
Stevie gazed at Veronica with a wide-eyed, innocent expression. “You mean those aren’t yours?” she asked. “But they’re so elegant. So stylish. So … well … you.”
Veronica gritted her teeth. “Very funny,” she said. “But I think it would be even funnier if I told Max about that history test we took last week, don’t you? What was your grade again, Stevie?”
Stevie frowned. Max insisted that all his young riders maintain good grades at school. If a rider’s average in any subject slipped below a C, that meant no riding until the grade came up again. Right now Stevie’s history grade was dangerously near that line, and Veronica knew it. “Well, it wasn’t my best effort,” she admitted slowly.
Lisa glanced at her friend with a worried expression. She and Carole went to a different school from the one Stevie and Veronica attended, so she hadn’t had any idea Stevie’s grades were in trouble.
Veronica smiled in triumph. “I thought so,” she said. “Now, I’m just going to ask you once more. Where are my riding gloves?”
“All right,” Stevie said reluctantly. “Wait here.” She disappeared for a moment. When she returned, she was carrying a pair of soft black leather gloves. “Here you go,” she said, handing them over to Veronica. “I guess you win this time.”
Veronica gave her a small, satisfied smile as she took the gloves and yanked them on. “I guess I do,” she agreed. Then she whirled on her boot heel and left the room without another word.
Lisa turned to Stevie and raised one eyebrow. “That was it?” she asked. “That was the great prank you’ve been talking about all week?”
Stevie grinned, looking mysterious. “What do you think?”
Lisa sighed. She knew that expression, and it usually meant trouble. “I think we’d better go get our horses, or we’ll be late for the meeting.”
TEN MINUTES LATER Stevie, Lisa, and Carole rode into the outdoor ring. Most of the other students were there already, waiting for Max. Only Veronica was still missing.
But not for long. “Hurry up, Red,” her voice came drifting out of the barn. “You’re going to make me late.”
Veronica emerged and bent down to tug at her boots. Lisa noticed that she was wobbling a little. She also noticed that the boots looked brand new.
“Looks like Miss Wardrobe didn’t bother to break in her latest purchase before wearing,” Carole said, as if reading Lisa’s thoughts. Veronica was forever turning up at the stable in the latest—and most expensive—riding togs. As in most things, the purchase price always meant more to her than anything else.
Lisa grinned. “It also looks like she might have gotten the wrong size,” she said. “She doesn’t look too comfortable.” She turned to see if Stevie was enjoying the scene as much as she and Carole were.
But Stevie hardly seemed to have noticed. “Isn’t she ever going to mount?” she muttered.
Lisa glanced at Carole and shrugged. Carole shrugged back. Sometimes their friend was hard to figure out.
“Come on,” Veronica barked at Red, hobbling over to the mounting block near the ring. Ordinarily she didn’t need the block to mount Danny, but The Saddle Club guessed that today her tight boots wouldn’t allow her to mount any other way.
Red patiently led Danny to the block and held him while Veronica mounted. Once she was in the saddle, Veronica picked up the reins and rode away without a word of thanks. Red watched her go, looking irritated. But as Veronica turned Danny to ride toward the ring, the groom started to smile. Then he started to laugh. Veronica didn’t notice, but Stevie did. She started to grin.
“What’s going on?” Carole asked, looking confused.
A moment later, she knew. Veronica rode into the ring and the entire class got a good look at Danny. As the handsome Thoroughbred warmed up by trotting across the ring, there were titters, then chuckles, then guffaws from the other members of the class. Finally even Veronica started to notice that the other students were laughing at her.
“What?” she demanded, yanking Danny to a halt in the middle of the ring. “What are you all laughing at?” She narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Stevie, and her hand darted around to her own back. Stevie grinned, knowing that Veronica was remembering the time The Saddle Club had attached a POINT AND LAUGH sign to the back of her jacket.
When her hand came up empty, Veronica looked more suspicious than ever. She rode over to where Stevie was sitting on her horse, Belle, laughing helplessly.
“All right, that’s enough, Stevie Lake,” Veronica said crossly. “You’d better tell me what’s going on right now, or I’ll tell Max you’re flunking history.”
“Oh yeah?” Stevie shot back. “Then maybe I’ll have to tell Max you called Red to tack up Danny for you—again.” She knew that Max had given Veronica a stern talking-to about doing her own chores just last week. She also knew very well that Red hadn’t been the one to tack up Danny today. Stevie knew that because she had volunteered for the job herself. “If you’d done your own work for a change and groomed Danny this morning, you would know what everybody’s laughing at.”
Veronica glared at her, then swung her right leg over Danny’s back and slid down his left side, flinching a little when her tight boots hit the ground. Then she looked the horse over from stem to stern.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said. “He looks fine.”
At that, the watching crowd laughed harder than ever.
Doing her best to ignore them, Veronica walked around Danny’s head and glanced at his other side. She spotted the problem almost immediately. Someone had written a message onto the right side of Danny’s glossy dappled-gray hindquarters in what looked like red poster paint. It said SNOB ON BOARD.
At that moment Max came out of the stable and approached the ring. “Everybody ready to start?” he asked briskly.
He looked a little surprised when the entire class—minus one very angry member—just laughed in reply.
* * *
“WASN’T THAT GREAT?” Stevie said for the fifteenth time. The Horse Wise meeting was over, and the Saddle Club girls were walking their horses around the stable yard to cool them down after a vigorous hour of jumping. “I thought that bright-red paint was a touch of genius, if I do say so myself. I even called Judy to find out what kind would be safe to use on Danny’s skin.” Judy Barker was the local equine vet.
“Great, Stevie,” Lisa said, hoping she sounded more patient than she felt. Stevie had been gloating nonstop since the class had ended ten minutes earlier. Neither of the other girls had been able to get a word in edgewise—let alone change the topic of conversation to something more interesting.
“And did you see Veronica’s face when she took off those fancy black gloves of hers and saw that her hands were red?” Stevie prompted.
Carole couldn’t help grinning at that. “Don’t you mean Luscious, Lustrous Red?” she said. That was the name of a shade of temporary hair dye. The Saddle Club had once used it to dye a skewbald horse to look like a chestnut. The hair dye
had also worked quite well as a temporary hand dye inside Veronica’s gloves. It had been the crowning touch on Stevie’s practical joke.
“You’re just lucky her gloves are black so the dye didn’t ruin them,” Lisa said, pausing by the water trough to let her horse, a long-legged Thoroughbred mare named Prancer, take a few sips. “I doubt you could afford to replace them. She probably had them tailor-made in Paris or something.”
“Lucky, my foot,” Stevie replied. “It was all part of my plan. Why do you think I substituted the mittens for those gloves and not any of the four other pairs she had in her cubby?”
She looked so proud that Carole and Lisa gave in and laughed. Even though Stevie had been going a little crazy with the practical jokes lately, they had to admit that this one had been funny.
“It’s too bad Max wasn’t amused, though,” Carole said as the three girls continued walking their horses around the yard.
“Don’t be so sure,” Stevie said. “I admit, he chewed me out pretty well after class. But I would swear there was a twinkle in his eye while he was doing it. I mean, he had to know why I was able to volunteer to tack up Danny, and why Veronica didn’t notice. Only she would just mount on her horse’s near side without even glancing at the rest of him. Oh, yes, I think Max might have been more amused than he let on.”
“Maybe,” Lisa said dubiously. “But didn’t you say the same thing after he yelled at you for the grain shed prank?”
“And after he scolded you for painting a smiley face on the tack room door?” Carole said.
Lisa nodded. “What about the time she dyed all the grain green for St. Patrick’s Day? You thought he looked pretty amused then, too, but I for one didn’t see it.” She patted Prancer on the neck as the mare snuffled at her hair.
“Don’t forget the time she hid in Delilah’s stall and started telling Simon Atherton in a horsey voice to stop jabbing her in the ribs when he rode,” Carole added. “He went screaming down the aisle and scared all the horses.”
Horse Capades Page 1
