by Maggie Marr
Unspoken questions between his older brothers wouldn’t be helpful. He had to confront this, have it out with them. Devon walked into the conference room. Anthony’s eyes widened, just like when they were kids and Mom caught them sneaking cookies.
“Estranged daughter.” Devon walked to the open chair next to Leo. “Let’s give me some credit.”
His brothers exchanged uncomfortable glances.
“Okay, look, let’s just lay this out, shall we? She hasn’t seen her father in twenty-two years. She didn’t think she had any other family—”
“But she does, and her uncle happens to be Sergey’s identical twin,” Leo said.
“I would’ve shit my pants,” Justin said. “Like seeing a fucking ghost.”
“It was,” Leo said. “Especially since the last time we saw Sergey, the police were hauling his ass off to jail.”
“She’s an amazing woman, with this—”
“You’re not going to continue seeing her, are you?” Anthony interrupted. “You can’t possibly still want to see her, with—”
“Her past?” Devon asked. His words were weighted with attitude, punctuated with a pointed look toward Anthony. The hubris of Anthony’s question was off the charts when you considered his wife’s past. Between her adolescent love affair with Anthony and when they fell in love the second time, Shelly’s life was filled with horrible events.
“Not the same.”
“Definitely not,” Devon added, his voice dripping sarcasm. “One went willingly into the mess and the other was simply born into it.”
“You’re talking about my wife.” Anthony’s voice was low, laced with a cool unspoken threat.
“And I remember not too long ago when you spoke about Justin’s soon-to-be wife in a similar manner.”
Anthony’s jaw dropped open like a fish gasping for air.
“That didn’t work out so well for you, did it, big brother?” He’d shut up one brother. Now only two more to deal with.
“Are you telling us you intend to marry this woman?” Justin asked.
“I…” Devon stopped. Yes, he had wanted to marry Ilana. He carried the ring in his pocket even now. Devon pressed his lips together. His heart wanted to say yes, but his head…fuck…his head simply couldn’t see a way past the mess of Ilana being the daughter of the man who’d threatened the lives of his entire family. “I…had intended to, yes. Before.”
A weight descended on the conference room. This solemnity over Devon’s words was a direct result of what the three brothers had gone through to get to their own happily-ever-afters. They’d each fought past challenges to find and marry their wives. Such a different tone than what it would have been in their bachelor days. A jocular cavalier attitude would have been rampant in the conference room, with pats on the back and hits on the arm his brothers telling Devon to “fucking forget it” because “there were millions of women out there, so why would any man want to settle for one?”
But each Travati brother had done that exact thing, found one woman, the woman for them. After they discovered their mates, the Travati brothers realized beyond a shadow of a doubt that there weren’t millions of women like the women that each had chosen, or that fate had chosen, or whatever the hell it was that helped them to find their one and only. There might be millions of women, but there was only one real love.
“I…I’m sorry.” Anthony inclined his head. “I didn’t realize that you’d…that you were that serious with—”
“Ilana,” Devon said, her name a whisper on his lips. A name that not long ago made him smile when he just thought it. But now, after meeting her newfound long-lost family, her name caused pain to crack his heart. He glanced at Justin, the oldest Travati, the brother who, even though none of them liked to admit it, was in charge.
Justin cleared his throat. “Is there…is there anything we can do?”
Devon shook his head. If there was a way out of this quagmire of pain he’d fallen into, Devon hadn’t found it. All he could do was work and pretend he didn’t want to phone Ilana or text her or see her every minute of every day, because while his heart liked to believe that it didn’t matter that Ilana was Sergey Rashnikov’s daughter and her uncle was Sergey’s twin, Devon couldn’t see the path to that place of acceptance.
Get married and have Ilana never see her new family? Ask Ilana to forget about her new family? Pretend that her aunt and uncle and four cousins didn’t exist? How could Devon do that? He couldn’t. He absolutely couldn’t. He couldn’t expect Ilana, after just finding and finally meeting her family, to turn her back on them and pretend for the rest of her life that they didn’t exist. No. That wouldn’t be fair. But he truly couldn’t envision a future where he had Sunday dinner with the brother of the man he’d helped to put in prison. He couldn’t imagine Ilana asking him not to see his family…he didn’t think he’d be able to do such a thing, even for Ilana, so he wasn’t about to ask her, no matter the circumstances, to turn her back on her family for him.
Devon picked up the tablet in front of him and took a deep breath. He glanced at each brother. “Let me work, I guess. Let me work as much as I can.”
They each nodded. They understood. How could they not? He’d lived in New York when his brothers had been falling in love and wow, there’d been rough patches for each of them. They knew how he felt. But they’d each eventually found their way to their wife. Devon couldn’t see any happy ending for himself. No. But maybe someday he wouldn’t hurt as much as he did in this moment. Right now, there was nothing else that Devon Travati could do, but sit with the pain and work his way through the heartache.
Chapter 18
“My goodness, you’ve got yourself a real mess.” Regina threw flour onto the marble countertop. Her strong hands kneaded through the dough. Ilana leaned her elbows onto the cool countertop, the scent of flour and yeast bringing back memories of childhood Sundays spent at Amelia’s house.
“Mom, you’ve got to go to the store.” Amelia stood in front of the open refrigerator.
“Amelia, I got home from a month in Europe late last night, or have you already forgotten?”
“You’re baking bread.”
“I turned this out before bed. A house does not feel like home until there’s a fresh loaf in the oven.”
“Right. No milk, but you’ve got fresh bread.”
“Priorities. Now make yourself useful and either hike on down the block to the store for me and pick up some of those things I need or make coffee.”
“Store it is,” Amelia shut the refrigerator door and grabbed the reusable grocery bags out of the cabinet. “I think you’re out of coffee, by the way”
“I left a full tin.”
“Used it. Sorry. See you both in a bit.” With a wave, Amelia slipped out the front door and left Ilana to receive Regina’s advice.
“Okay, now that the interruption machine known as my daughter is gone,” Regina smiled, “let’s talk. Tell me this.” She formed two loaves, settled the dough into bread pans, and draped a damp flour sack dishtowel over the pans. “Do you love him?”
Ilana closed her eyes. This was the crux of the problem. Life would be easier if she could simply say “no,” suffer the inevitable heartache for a few days, and move on. But there was no moving on from Devon. There was life before she’d met Devon, and now, there would be life after she met Devon, but Ilana had been forever changed by having him in her life. The thought of a lifetime without Devon? She could barely fathom that reality.
“I do,” Ilana whispered.
“Mmhmm. Well, that makes it worse.”
Much worse. Ilana’d gone through breakups with men she thought she’d loved, but no, after this train wreck of emotion, she was certain she’d never experienced true love before Devon.
Regina cupped one hand and brushed the leftover flour from the countertop into her other palm. “When you love them, there isn’t much you can do but marry them or divorce them. Believe me, I know.” She dusted her hands off abov
e the sink and glanced toward Ilana, her expression filled with a melancholy mixture of warmth and understanding. “So what exactly is the problem?”
Ilana tilted her head. She’d spent the last half hour conveying the awful facts to Regina. “I just told you, he testified in federal court against my father.”
Regina nodded. “I know that part. You’ve filled me in on all the details, including your new family. Which still boggles my mind, because your mother said nothing to me ever about your uncle in Malibu. I thought I knew everything about her and your dad’s relationship.” Regina wiped the countertop with a wet dishcloth. “We shared more than a few bottles of wine discussing our exes.” Once the counter was clean, she turned toward the coffeepot. “Damn, I want some coffee.” She walked to the kitchen table and sat. “So, the problem?”
Ilana followed Regina to the kitchen table. “I guess…I don’t see a way for us to be together.”
“But why?”
“Because I can’t picture Devon wanting to be a part of my family. I can’t imagine him wanting to spend time around my uncle and my cousins because of who they are and what my father did and how he acted toward Devon and his family. Plus, my dad and uncle are identical twins. Every time Devon looks at Uncle Dimitry, he’ll see my dad.”
“But your uncle isn’t your father, even if they look alike. All those people you mentioned are outside your relationship with Devon.”
Ilana settled her cheek onto her palm. “And his family? How could they ever accept me? My father threatened them and their children. Devon said he actually sent a thug to stand outside of his nephew’s school as an intimidation tactic.” Ilana shuddered. “I mean, that’s my father, and half my DNA is his.”
“Right, and the other half is your mother’s, and regardless of the genetics that fate threw at you, you are your own person. Again, you’re talking about all these other people and their feelings about the situation. These other folks don’t have to live in this relationship that you and Devon built. You two are the people in love trying to create a future. You have to decide if you two can get past the obstacles, not whether your family can or can’t.”
“Right, but they’re a part of our relationship too. No couple lives alone on an island, you’ve got family and—”
“They’re a part of it, if you let them be a part of it.”
“You’re saying that I don’t see my aunt and uncle?”
“Nope, not saying that at all. I’m saying that if Devon is the one, and you have to make a choice, then the choice is clear. But you shouldn’t have to make that choice. You didn’t do anything wrong. Sweetheart, you got born, that’s all you did. All these other folks have issues about something someone you’re related to did. You can’t let all their feelings dictate who you see and what you do.”
Ilana took a deep breath and looked down at her flip flops. “I know that, I think. I just hoped…after a lifetime without a family, I hoped that I’d get to be a part of this one or maybe my husband’s family.”
“And you can, if you want. Did your uncle say he wouldn’t be around Devon? That he wouldn’t accept Devon?”
Ilana shook her head. “No. But Devon—”
“Did he say he wouldn’t be around your Uncle?”
“He didn’t have to.” Ilana sank back in the kitchen chair. She closed her eyes and rubbed her fingertips over her eyelids. Her heart ached with the memory. “I mean, his face and the things he said…like somehow I’d known and I’d tricked him and—”
“He had to be in shock that night. Have you talked to him since then?”
Heat flamed through Ilana’s cheeks. She shook her head. No, she hadn’t. Why not? Why hadn’t she called Devon, reached out to him? Tried to discuss what had happened and what was going on now? “I don’t…I don’t know why…but I just haven’t wanted to talk to him about this yet. Maybe I’m scared of what he’ll say.”
“Maybe.” Regina clasped her hands together in front of her. “Could be you’re scared to face this whole damn mess. I don’t blame you. First you’ve got to decide what you want, and seems like you’ve done that. You want Devon, yes? I mean if this mess hadn’t happened, you two would be together and thinking about the future, right?”
Again Ilana nodded. “First time ever that I could picture myself married and with my own kids.”
“Okay, so you want him, and now you’ll have to clean up a mess that you didn’t make to get what you want.” Regina reached her hand across the table and grasped Ilana’s. “If he’s the man for you, it’ll be worth it. You need to have a conversation. Have to. See what he says when you tell him that you want him in your life, no matter what everyone around you thinks. If he’s the man you think he is, then he’ll definitely be willing to clean up this mess alongside you. But sweetheart, you have to have to talk to him to find out.”
Ilana’s heart pounded and her fingertips tingled. Was fear that Devon would say no to her the real reason she hadn’t reached out to him? He hadn’t reached out to her either. Did he even want to try and solve this problem, or had he too, like her, thought that finding a solution was an impossibility?
Ilana swallowed. Her blue eyes found Regina’s brown ones. “What if he says no?”
Regina squeezed Ilana’s hand. “Then you always have us to see you through.”
“I think…I think I need to go see my father.”
Regina’s gaze hardened. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“He’s going to die. Uncle Dimitry says another week, maybe two. They’ve put him in the hospital.”
“That man.” Regina closed her eyes and shook her head. Then she opened them, her jaw set and her lips pressed in a determined line. “The stories your Mama told me about him…he was—” She paused and searched for words. Her gaze went past Ilana and toward the window, as though she witnessed memories floating by. She returned her gaze to Ilana. “He wasn’t a kind man.”
“I remember.” Ilana nodded. “I remember some of it.”
“Of course you do, but there was more. That much I know. There was more you didn’t see before and there was more you didn’t know about after. Sweetheart, are you sure? I…I mean, I don’t know if it’s safe.”
“I won’t go alone. My cousin will go or Uncle Dimitry. It’s just…I didn’t believe that I needed to go, but the more I think about him dying and never seeing him and the closer the end gets”—heat pricked Ilana’s eyes—“I need to do this for me. It’s not for him, but for me.” Tears rolled from her eyes and she rubbed her hand across her cheeks. “I don’t want the decision to not go to haunt my life. I want to go and face him. See if he has anything to say. Know that I gave him that chance.”
“What about you?” Regina asked. “What do you need to say to him?”
“I don’t know yet, but I’m going to find out and I’m going to say it. If I go, then I’m free of this feeling. I’ll have faced this person that hovered in the background for my entire life. He was always there. Every decision Mama or I made, he was in the background. The fear of him and what he might do to us.” Ilana sniffled. “I’m going so I can put my fears to rest.”
“We’ll be here for you.” Regina took Ilana’s hand again and squeezed it tight. “Amelia and I will be here for you, always.”
Pain thrashed her heart, but Ilana smiled through her tears. They might not be blood, but Regina and Amelia were family. A family formed over time through commitment to each other. In some ways, that meant more than simply sharing DNA.
“I got coffee!” The door slammed open and Amelia walked in, weighted down with bags and carrying three tall cardboard cups in a to-go holder. “Knew Mama couldn’t wait much longer, so I brought some already made plus two tins. I got butter and honey for that fresh bread you’re making, too.”
“Bless you, baby girl,” Regina stood, liberated the coffee holder from Amelia, and handed a cup to Ilana.
Ilana smiled. She stood to help unpack the groceries. Regina was right, baking bread made the
house feel like home.
*
Venice wasn’t the same place without Ilana. Devon walked toward The Rose Cafe. He’d scheduled a lunch with the owner of Venice Bakes. They were talking about buying a bakery to expand VB’s program of hiring recent veterans for their first civilian jobs after active duty. The streets of Venice looked the same with the sunshine and the perfect weather, but the town felt empty.
“Yo, Dev, my man, when did you get back?” A familiar voice snapped Devon from his thoughts.
Devon smiled. “Hey, Wedge. Got in late last night. Little far from home, aren’t you?”
“Just a couple blocks. I come over this way to visit Rocky and Lulu sometimes. They got a nice crib just past The Rose. Easy enough to relocate when you can haul all the stuff you own.” Wedge nodded toward his bike and the cart attached to the back, which contained all of his possessions.
“Right on.”
“Kept an eye on your place for you while you were away.”
“Thanks, I appreciate that.”
“Also kept an eye on the lady, but heard that wasn’t a thing anymore. You two broke up?”
Devon’s smile slipped. “Yeah, I mean…I don’t think it’ll work out. We—”
“’Cause of her dad? Because you sent him to the joint?”
“Who told you that?”
“Man, we all talk, plus you hear scraps. Venice is a small town in a big city. That romance you two had going was a hot piece of gossip. Billionaire falls for local philanthropist entrepreneur? Who doesn’t love that story?”
Devon’s heart ached, but he forced a smile to his lips. “Right, who doesn’t love that one.” He glanced in the direction of the ocean and then back to Wedge. “So…have you seen her?”
“Who? Your lady?”
Devon nodded.
“Naw, man. She’s been gone for a couple days.”
“Gone?”
“I don’t know, some trip with some dude. Seen him at the Enrichment Center a couple times.”
Devon’s heart pounded in his chest. What dude? Could Ilana have found someone this quickly?
