“No, I’m fine now, Mum. Don’t fuss. I’m just going to stay here and talk to Granny for a bit.”
Helen nodded and went out to the kitchen, leaving Kate and Marion alone. Marion looked over at Kate. “Come out in the garden with me, Kate. I have something more to tell you that I’d rather your mother didn’t hear.”
Intrigued, Kate got to her feet, biting her lip as she banged her leg against the chair. She followed her grandmother out the French windows, and they began to stroll down the lawn towards the few apple trees at the end of the garden.
“What is it, Granny? Something else naughty you got up to?”
“Yes, it is.” Marion glanced at her and took her arm. “I didn’t want your mother to hear this, just in case she felt she should tell your father, and I really don’t want him to know.” She walked over to the shade of a tree. “Shall we sit down, or are your bruises too sore to sit on the ground?”
Kate looked at her in surprise. “I’m fine to sit on the ground,” she said, feeling her face begin to get hot. “I said it was just one bruise.”
“What you said and what you actually meant are not necessarily the same thing.” Marion sank gracefully to the ground. “That’s better. Come on, sit down. We need a chat.”
Nervously Kate sat on the grass and stretched her legs out in front of her. “What about?”
“You and me. I think we’re rather alike. I think we both do things because we want to please other people, and sometimes forget about ourselves.” She fixed Kate with a stern stare. “But first, before we go any further, I want you to be honest with me. These bruises you have, or bruise, if you prefer—did someone hurt you?”
Kate shook her head vigorously. “No. No, nothing like that, Granny, I promise you. I bumped into a table, like I said.”
“Kate, I wasn’t born yesterday. You don’t have to tell me the truth, of course, but I just want to know that you’re not about to marry someone who hits you.”
Kate nearly laughed. “God, no, Granny. Richard would never do anything like that. He’s a very good person. He never does anything wrong.”
“But you didn’t bump into a table, did you?”
“No, I didn’t. I fell in a river, but that’s all I’m telling you.” Kate glanced at her. “And please don’t tell Mum or Dad.”
“I won’t. Why do you think I brought you out here?” Marion leant back against a tree and folded her arms. “And might I hazard a guess that you weren’t with your fiancé when this accident occurred?” Kate didn’t respond. “I shall take that as a yes. Don’t worry, I’m not going to pry, it’s your secret. But I just wanted to tell you a little story. Way, way back in 1960, when I was just twenty, I met your grandfather. He already had a very successful job and very good prospects, while I was just working in a dress shop. We started going out together, and my parents were over the moon. He was a real step up the social ladder for me, and they did everything they could to encourage the relationship. To be honest, they didn’t need to do very much. I was quite taken with Douglas. He was very good-looking, older than me, and he had enough money that he was able to take me to places none of my friends had been. So when he proposed, I naturally said yes. Just like you, I got swept along in the wedding preparations, not really thinking about what it meant. That I would be committed to the same person for the rest of my life. That from that moment on I would be a wife, and in those days, before women’s lib got going, that was rather a menial thing to be. It wasn’t until just before the wedding that I began to have doubts. Realised that I probably wouldn’t get to do any of the things I had dreamed about as a girl. Travelling to the Himalayas, visiting Australia, seeing the Pyramids. Douglas was kind, and had a good job, but his idea of a fun holiday was two weeks in Bournemouth. He had no desire to travel the world, to see or experience new things. To be honest, he was very boring.”
Kate’s head shot up, and she looked suspiciously at her grandmother. Had someone been talking to her? How did she know what she was feeling?
Marion continued. “I suddenly realised I was being very rash marrying him, and it might well be the biggest mistake of my life. But this was just days before the wedding, and it was all organised and paid for. There was no way I could pull out—my parents would be devastated. As would Douglas. I may have been having doubts, but he was devoted to me.
“So I went ahead with it, with the tiny idea at the back of my mind that if I was really unhappy I could get divorced. My parents, who were very old-fashioned, would have been horrified, of course, but the option was still there. Not at all the way to go into a marriage, eh?”
Kate slowly shook her head.
“Things were actually all right for a while. Douglas and I did get on, and although I got a bit bored at home—he made me give up my job—once I fell pregnant with your father, I had something to occupy me. Then when Peter was nearly five I met some new friends and got caught up in the hedonistic atmosphere of the summer of love. It was wonderful, Kate. You would have loved it. I don’t remember the weather ever being bad, either. I behaved very irresponsibly. I took Peter to festivals and parties, I stayed up all night, smoked far too much dope—and I fell in love.”
She glanced at Kate. “Really fell in love. I’d thought I was in love with Douglas, but this was quite different. He was so different, so exciting. He had travelled all over the world, and he was going off again to see even more places. He told me he’d take me to India, to Australia, to South America. Everywhere. I was completely lost. And he loved Peter, too.”
Kate found her mouth had gone dry. “What did you do?”
“Nothing. It was too late. I had committed myself to Douglas, and I was too afraid of hurting people to leave him and follow my heart. And of course I had Peter. I was afraid someone might take him away from me if I left. So at the end of the summer I went back to being a boring housewife, and kept everyone happy.”
“Except you.”
“Except me.” Marion looked at Kate. “I didn’t think I mattered.”
“What happened to your lover?”
“That sounds strange.” Marion’s eyes were wistful. “Hearing him called that. He went away. He went off travelling again. Last thing I heard, he had settled in Australia.”
“Was he sad? Did he ask you to go with him?”
“I think he was sad, and I know he would have loved me to go with him, but no, he didn’t try and persuade me. He knew I had to decide for myself. I had a husband and child. He may have been an adventurer, a free spirit, but he didn’t want to make me feel guilty if I didn’t go with him. I guess that was because he was a free spirit.” She sighed. “But I suppose I wasn’t as free as he was, and I just couldn’t bring myself to hurt the people I would leave behind.”
“And did you regret your decision?” Kate wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the answer.
“Every day.”
Kate was silent, her hands distractedly plucking at the grass. Her head was reeling from her grandmother’s revelations, and she couldn’t help wondering what had prompted them. “Why did you tell me?”
Marion leaned forward and took Kate’s hand. “I just want to make sure you don’t make the mistakes I did. I can sense a disquiet about you, and I’m sure all is not well. You certainly don’t have the demeanour of a girl who is marrying the love of her life tomorrow. Just don’t forget about yourself in all this. You are just as important as the people you think you will be letting down.”
Kate pulled her hand away and stood up. “I don’t know what you mean, Granny. I’m fine. There’s no problem.” Her voice shook as she spoke, and to her horror she could feel tears welling up behind her eyes. “I’m fine. Everything is fine.” She turned and ran back to the house, going straight upstairs and throwing herself face down on the bed.
Oh, why had Granny told her that story? How could she see through her like that? She buried her face in the pillow, her mind whirring with thoughts. Granny could tell she was unhappy; Granny had even sussed that the stor
y about the bruise was a lie. What was she suggesting she do? Pull out of the wedding now? The day before? Leave Richard at the altar? What did she think she should do?
However much it was hurting her, she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t do that to her parents, to Richard, even to her friends and relatives who were making the effort to come to the wedding. To the lady who had made the cake. The people she would be letting down were too numerous to mention. She just couldn’t do it.
It wasn’t even as if Richard had done anything wrong. She had nothing real that she could complain about. She just wasn’t sure she loved him any more. She rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. She would have to be strong. Be strong and believe it needn’t be forever. It wouldn’t be forever. It was easy to get divorced these days.
A sudden bleep from her phone made her jump. She reached out for it and peered at the screen. It was from Sam. For a moment, Kate considered deleting it without reading it. Then her curiosity got the better of her, and she opened the message.
Are you okay today? How are the bruises? x
She stared at it blankly for a moment. There was that kiss again. She closed her eyes and gripped her phone tightly. She really should just ignore it. She opened her eyes and read it again, then wrote a short reply.
Pretty bad. Hope your eye is getting better. Her finger hovered over the Send button. Then she added a quick x and sent it before she could change her mind.
Chapter 19
“Kate why on earth are you dressed like that?” Jenny stared at her in amazement. “I haven’t see that skirt for eight years!”
Kate caught Jenny by the hand and pulled her to the back of the church. “I needed something to cover my legs,” she whispered, pulling the skirt up slightly and holding out her leg. “Look.”
“Kate! What on earth have you done? How did that happen?”
“I’ll tell you back at the house.” Kate glanced up to the front of the church, where the vicar was chatting to her parents. “And I need your help. I have some more on my arm. But Jen, not a word to my parents, or Vicky.”
“Of course not.” Jenny squeezed her arm. “I can imagine the fuss your mother would make. But I’m most intrigued as to how you got them. They look really sore.”
“They are.” Kate started down the aisle towards her parents. “Very.”
“Kate, do you know where Richard has got to?” Helen was looking a little harassed. “He’s usually on time for everything. It’s ten past four, and the vicar can’t stay for ever.”
“Don’t know.” Kate shook her head. “I haven’t heard from him today.”
“Well, could you ring him, darling? See if he’s got held up.”
“I didn’t bring my phone.”
“Kate, you never go anywhere without your phone!” Helen sighed. “Here, use mine. I need to know he’s on the way. And of course Vicky hasn’t arrived, either.”
“That’s no big surprise, or loss,” Kate muttered, reluctantly taking Helen’s phone and dialling Richard’s number. She pressed it to her ear. “Straight to voice mail.” She handed it back to Helen. “I’m sure he’ll be here in a minute.”
As she spoke, the door of the church opened, and Richard and Vicky both appeared.
“Sorry I’m late.” Richard walked over and gave Kate a kiss on the cheek. “The traffic was dreadful. I’ve come straight from London. Are you okay, darling? I’ve never seen those clothes before.”
“You haven’t seen all my clothes,” Kate snapped, turning away. “Now come on, the vicar can’t stay much longer.”
“I’m just late.” Vicky grinned at her parents. “I left late.”
“Right.” Helen nodded briskly. “Now we’re all here, let’s get the practice over with, and then we can go back home and have something to eat. Kate, are the flower girls not coming?”
“Didn’t see the point.” Kate shook her head. “All they do is walk down the aisle with Jen and Vicky. They can tell them when to stop and start.”
“Okay, then, let’s get started.” Helen clapped her hands, and everyone got into their positions. “Richard, where’s your best man?”
“Oh, he can’t come. Don’t worry. He knows what to do.”
“Right. No best man, no flower girls, I’m not sure why we’re bothering with this.” Helen was beginning to let the stress show. “At least Kate is here. From the look of her earlier, I wasn’t sure she would be.”
Vicky gave her sister an inquisitive glance and got a dark look in return. “You look really weird in those clothes, Kate. Is that your new look? Very retro.”
“No, now shut up and let’s get this over with.” Kate gripped her father’s arm as they prepared for the walk down the aisle. “I want to get back to the house. Mum has made cakes.”
As they started down the aisle on the instruction of the vicar, Peter squeezed Kate’s hand. “Are you okay, pet? You look a bit sad.”
“I’ll be okay, Dad.” She smiled at him, realising again that she couldn’t let him down. “I’ll be okay.”
****
By five o’clock, they were all heading back to the house, the rehearsal having gone reasonably well and everyone being confident that they knew what they would be doing the next day.
Richard left to go to his parents’ house for the night, and the rest of them headed back to Kate’s for the girly evening that Helen had organised. Peter was being banished to the bedroom after dinner so the three girls and Helen and Marion could have girly chatter and do their nails. Kate was actually dreading it. She wanted to escape to her room with Jenny and confess all her worries and misdoings, but she wouldn’t be able to do that until they went to bed. Unless they could escape for a few minutes.
When they got back to the house, Helen shepherded them all into the living room and insisted on making tea. Kate found herself on the sofa with Jenny, her grandmother sitting opposite them. Vicky was nowhere to be seen.
“Where did Vicky get to?” Jenny looked round. “Maybe she’s gone home.”
“No such luck.” Kate scowled. “Mum told her she had to stay the night.”
“Vicky wanted to pop to the village shop on the way back.” Marion had overhead them. “She shouldn’t be long.”
“Pity.”
“Here we go, ladies, tea and cake. Tuck in.” Helen breezed in and placed a loaded tray on the coffee table. “Peter, you can join us for this. It’s only later, when we do our nails, that you have to go to bed.”
Despite her mood, Kate couldn’t help but laugh. “Mum! That’s so mean. Why can’t you let him stay?”
“It’s okay, Katy.” Peter ruffled her hair as he passed by. “I don’t think I want to spend the evening so horrendously outnumbered. I really don’t want to paint my nails, either.”
A sound from the hall made Kate look round, and Vicky appeared in the doorway. “Sorry, just had to get something from the village.” She walked in and bounced down onto the chair next to her grandmother, a wide grin on her face. “And guess who I bumped into?”
“No idea.” Kate rolled her eyes.
“Sam Somerville.”
“So?” Jenny shrugged. “You knew he was back. You saw him in the pub.”
“Yeah, but this time he has a huge black eye.” She grinned evilly. “He told me he got it crashing his car into a ditch on Dartmoor, but I reckon someone hit him.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Vicky,” Jenny jumped in. “Who on earth would want to hit Sam? Why would he be lying?”
“Dartmoor?” Helen looked up in surprise. “Wasn’t that where you went with your friend, Kate? Maybe you were there at the same time.”
“No, Mum.” Kate could feel five pairs of eyes on her. “We went to Exmoor. I told you.”
“No, darling, I’m sure you said Dartmoor. Didn’t she say Dartmoor, Peter?”
Kate turned and looked at her father. Without hesitation he shook his head.
“No, Helen, it was Exmoor.”
“Oh.” Helen looked confused. “
I could have sworn…oh, well. I suppose I am rather stressed. I probably wasn’t listening properly. Have a cake, Vicky, before Kate eats them all.”
She handed the plate to Vicky, then disappeared out to the kitchen to replenish the tea.
Kate took a bite of her cake, still aware she was being watched. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Vicky’s grinning face, and next to her she felt Jenny shift in her seat.
“Can we go up to your room in a minute, Kate?” Jenny asked suddenly. “There’s something I want to run by you.”
“Of course.” Kate nodded, and caught her father’s eye. She was fairly sure she detected a slight wink, then he finished his tea and took his cup back to the kitchen. “Let’s go now. Back in a minute, Granny.” Kate got up, pulled Jenny with her, and headed for the stairs.
Once in her bedroom, she shut the door and sat on the bed. Jenny stared at her.
“Kate? What the fuck was that all about? Dartmoor? Exmoor? Sam? Have you been really stupid again?”
Kate nodded miserably, and felt her eyes fill up with tears. “Yes. I’ve really done it this time, Jen.” She looked up at her. “And I don’t know what to do. Let me show you something first, though.” She lifted her skirt so Jenny could see the whole length of her leg and the extent of the bruising, then pulled off her blouse to reveal her arm and shoulder. “And there’s more on my ribs.”
Jenny stared in horror at the purpling bruises. “Kate, how the hell… Were you with Sam? Was this from his car crash?”
Kate shook her head. “Well, yes, I was with Sam, but it wasn’t from the car crash. He got his black eye in the Land Rover—he hit the steering wheel—but I got my bruises when I fell in the river. He rescued me.”
Jenny sat down on the edge of the bed, her eyes wide. “Kate, I’m gobsmacked. When was this?”
“Wednesday. Jen, it was an accident. I just went with him to escape Mum. It was just supposed to be for a few hours, but everything went wrong.”
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