Then, in a flash, I knew: Lula. Lula must have broken her promise and told Violet. And OF COURSE goody-goody Violet told her mom.
“Celie?” my mom said. I’d forgotten she was waiting for me to talk. “DID Granny cause a fire while the two of you were baking?”
I still couldn’t answer. Because I knew not to lie—Mom HATES lies. But if I told the truth, then Mom and Dad would worry about whether Granny might burn down the apartment. And maybe send her away.
Mom was raising her eyebrows at me and looking like her head might start spinning right off her neck.
Then Jo started talking. Trying, again, to save me.
I’d almost forgotten she was even in the room. She was sitting up in her bed, with her book pushed aside. Just like me.
“Don’t be mad at Celie—you can’t be,” she said to Mom. “She didn’t want you to be upset with Granny and maybe send her off to some institution. That’s TOTALLY understandable. She just loves Granny, that’s the only reason she didn’t tell you.”
I wanted to crawl into bed with Jo then and hug her. I don’t care if she holds sweaty hands with boys while she’s supposed to be worrying about Granny. It was so nice, what she said.
But Mom had a different reaction. She said to Jo, “So you’ve known, too, this whole time.” She sounded so disappointed.
“Yes,” Jo said. In a much fainter voice.
“I need to hear exactly what happened,” Mom said. “And I need to hear it right now.”
So, finally, I told her exactly what happened.
By the time I’d finished, she just looked sad. She sat down beside me on my bed.
“I am so sorry you had to go through that,” she said. “And I’m proud of how bravely and capably you acted in that moment. But I am NOT happy about what you did afterward.”
She was quiet for a second. Then she shook her head and said, “I can’t believe I encouraged you to bake. Things with Granny are changing so fast.”
“You’re not going to send her away, though. Right?” I said.
Mom started talking on and on then about how we have to work through all of this as a family, and she and Dad have a lot of decision-making to do that’s going to have to happen sooner than they’d thought, and there’s a lot of researching to do and processing to do together, and Jo and I had to PROMISE to tell her and Dad ANYTHING that raises any concerns AT ALL from now on.
I promised. Then I got a little distracted as she kept talking about family and responsibility. Because in the back of my mind, I was trying to figure out WHAT I was going to say to LULA.
Later
I can’t sleep. I just walked past Mom’s room on my way to get a glass of water. Her door was closed, but I could hear her voice. She must be on the phone with Dad. I NEED to know what they’re saying.
I thought about picking up the phone in the kitchen VERY QUIETLY and listening in on them. But what if I got caught? I’m in enough trouble already.
So I didn’t. I came back to my room instead. And now I’m wide awake, worrying.
I’m thinking about Lula, too. Because first we’re friends. Then we hate each other. Then we’re friends. Then one of us is furious. Then we’re better. Then the other one is furious.
I feel icky. Sitting here, thinking about it.
My friendship is making me sick.
Friday, December 10
Today did NOT turn out the way I thought it would.
Before our first class, I made Lula come with me to a quiet spot at the very end of the hallway. “I’m mad at you!” I told her. “Why did you tell Violet about the fire? You gave me your solemn promise!”
I expected her to get super-embarrassed then. I thought she’d turn blotchy and start biting her thumb. But that didn’t happen at all.
Instead, she looked at me like I was CRAZY. And she said, “I DIDN’T tell Violet. I SWEAR. I didn’t. REALLY.”
She looked like she was telling the truth. But that didn’t make any sense.
“You’re the only person on the planet I told,” I said. “And Violet’s mom called my mom about it. How else could Violet’s mom know?”
“I swear on the lives of Beijing and Shanghai,” she said. “I did NOT tell Violet.”
I had to believe her then. Because Beijing and Shanghai are our matching stuffed hippos. We only swear on their lives when we are very, very serious.
And then my brain put the pieces of the puzzle together.
“Ohhhh,” I said slowly. And then I said to Lula, “Never mind.”
“What do you mean?” she said. “What’d you just figure out?”
“I’ll tell you later,” I told her. “Sorry I blamed you.”
I hurried to my desk then, because I knew the bell would ring soon. I wrote a note to Jo, as fast as I could. Here is what it said:
Jo—
I cannot BELIEVE you told Tall Jake our Granny secret. It’s not like you’re best friends with him! You’ve been on ONE DATE! ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE HIM MY DIARY, TOO?? WHICH YOU SHOULD NEVER EVEN BE TOUCHING?
—Celie
I rushed out of the classroom with that note and slid it into Jo’s locker. Which made me thirty seconds late for math.
I wrote another note during Spanish, too. And I slipped it into her locker on my way to gym. It said:
Jo—
You have to stop holding hands with him. And talking to him. He obviously can’t be trusted! Since I KNOW you told him not to tell anyone. And he went and told his MOTHER! So he’s a goody-goody, too. Just like his sister.
—Celie
Later
Jo just got home. I asked her if she saw my notes. She didn’t answer. Instead she ripped a piece of paper out of her notebook and wrote me this note, while I was standing there:
Will you please just leave me alone now? I get your point. Now please just leave me alone.
Jo
She’s acting so weird! Writing that note instead of talking to me. And not saying a word to me since. She’s not even answering her texts! She’s just sitting in a chair in the living room, looking out the window and ignoring me. When her phone buzzes, she picks it up and looks at it and then sets it back down.
“Don’t you want to text back?” I asked a couple of times. But she just kept looking out the window. As if I wasn’t there.
Her phone did ring once, and she answered it. She said, “Hey, Amber,” in a flat voice, before she left the room. Then she stood in the hallway. I heard her say:
“I don’t know.”
and
“It wasn’t good.”
and
“I don’t know.”
and
“I DON’T KNOW!”
She didn’t come back to her living room chair after that. I found her sitting on her bed, looking out the window.
It feels weird, following her around and watching her look out of windows. So silent. I wish she’d yell, “NOBODY IN THIS WHOLE FAMILY UNDERSTANDS ME!” and lock herself in the bathroom instead.
She’s worrying me.
It’s tiring to worry about Jo.
Later
Mom just went with Granny to run errands, so Jo and I are alone in the apartment. Mom’s left us here without a grownup before, but not very often. And it always takes her a million years to get out the door. She keeps saying things like, “You’re SURE you feel okay about this? You’re SURE you don’t want to come?”
When she finally left just now, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I stopped thinking about Jo, still in her zombie condition in our room. I went to Mom’s computer in the living room. And I started reading her emails.
I am NOT supposed to do that. But I needed to know whether she and Dad were making any plans to send Granny away. So I could prepare to fight.
I printed two emails out. Then I heard a noise and thought maybe Mom was back. So I grabbed those pages and ran out of the room.
This is a very scary one:
from:
Pamela Trout
to:
Elizabeth Altman
date:
Friday, December 10, 12:48 PM
subject:
Your request for information
Thank you for your interest in Among the Very Young at Heart Senior Home, where we provide only the finest in care for today’s seniors. You can rest assured that your mother would receive all the assistance she could possibly need or desire here, from food, drink, and hygiene to medication management.
I’m happy to discuss rates and availability, as you have requested. Why don’t we schedule a call so that I can learn more about your mother and her needs, and you can learn more about our facilities and services? What time works for you?
With all best wishes,
Pamela Trout
Senior Living Advisor, Among the Very Young at Heart
Senior Home
Providing only the finest in care for today’s seniors
That email is the worst thing ever written. I don’t like Pamela Trout. We don’t need her or anybody else giving Granny food and drink and medicine. WE can give Granny food and drink and medicine.
And what does she mean about HYGIENE? Is she going to put on Granny’s deodorant? That’s just disgusting.
Also, why is she a Senior Living Advisor? Do they have a Senior DYING Advisor?
I don’t like that place. We are NOT sending Granny there. I will fight and fight about that. I will refuse to eat vegetables or brush my teeth. I will tell Mom I’m not covering the seat when I use public restrooms. (Even though secretly I actually will cover the seat. And brush my teeth. Because, yuck.)
Only, here’s the confusing thing: Maybe I won’t have to fight? Maybe Mom and Dad already agree with me? Because I also found this email:
from:
Robert Carrion
to:
Elizabeth Altman
date:
Friday, December 10, 3:12 PM
subject:
Re: Listing 8601758, Riverside and West 157th
Elizabeth,
Yes, the listing is still available. I can personally vouch that it is a lovely 4-bedroom with loads of light, unusually deep closets, a cozy office space, and views clear to the Hudson. Well worth a look. And if I were in the market for an apartment right now, I’d be looking in Washington Heights, too. It’s up-and-coming, with great subway access.
Let me know what times are good for you if you’d like to see the apartment, and I’ll coordinate with the sellers.
Cheers,
Rob
Robert Carrion
Licensed Associate Broker
Grand Prize Realty
Member, New York City Top Realtors’ Club
So, are we MOVING? To an apartment with four bedrooms? That is a lot of bedrooms! It must mean Granny would stay. Why else would we need four? And maybe Jo and I would get our own rooms. My own dresser, without all of Jo’s mess! My own door, so she could never lock me out!
But where is Washington Heights? I’ve never even heard of it. I’m worried that it’s far.
I need to talk to Jo.
Later
TERRIBLE news about Washington Heights! It’s VERY FAR!
Here’s how I know: I told Jo the whole situation. At first she wasn’t really listening to me. Because she was in her zombie condition. Even when I told her, “HELLO? This is an emergency!” she just said, “Go tell Mom.”
“Mom’s not even here,” I said. “Remember? It’s just the two of us.”
That finally got her attention. Because she’s supposed to be in charge when we’re alone. She actually looked right at me for the first time since she got home.
“What happened?” she said.
I started telling her. She got more and more un-zombied. She was pretty sure her friend Crystal has a wacky aunt and uncle in Washington Heights. So we decided she’d text Crystal, to ask about it.
Jo promised she wouldn’t tell Crystal WHY she was asking. Since we’re not supposed to know that we might move there.
I got to look over Jo’s shoulder while she was texting, to make sure she was keeping her promise. It was nice, sitting close to her and doing that. I miss it.
Anyway. The texts went like this:
So Washington Heights is AN HOUR AWAY! Jo and I are both freaking out! It’s too far!
We can’t spend an hour EACH WAY getting back and forth to school. Mom and Dad will definitely make us change schools. I’ll never see Lula again! She’s been my best friend MY WHOLE LIFE!
I’ll miss other people, too. I’ll definitely miss Nora. I’ll even miss Jack B. and his stupid pee jokes. And the family that owns the bagel store down the street. They’re all so nice. And what about Delores?? Can she travel that far? She HAS to keep cleaning our apartment. We love Delores.
What’s wrong with a bigger apartment in THIS neighborhood?
Saturday, December 11
Jo and I found this invitation from Dad taped to our bedroom door when we woke up this morning:
Your mother and I hereby cordially invite you, our daughters, to
A FAMILY DINNER OUT
When: this very evening, 6 o’clock sharp
Where: Smokey Sadie’s BBQ
Dress: Wear whatever you like. Only, please think twice before selecting those high-waisted jeans you’ve both taken to wearing. You tell me they’re in style, and your mother tells me they’re in style, but I wonder whether you all might have heard only part of the story. Could they in fact be in style for grandmas? Please consider.
Speaking of Grandmas: Granny will not join us tonight. She will be visiting with the one and only Cousin Carla.
One final, vital note: I am very sorry to have returned so late last night from a silly business trip, only to have to leave so early this morning for my silly office. Please know that the case I’m working on should quiet down soon. And never forget how much I love you both.
You haven’t forgotten, right?
xoxoxoxox,
Dad
Dad invites us to family dinners like this when we have important issues to discuss. So I guess we’ll talk about moving and senior homes.
Poor Granny. Stuck with Crazy Cousin Carla, whose clothes are too tiny and who’s always saying VERY INAPPROPRIATE things. Like telling me about her period! I would NOT want to spend that time with her.
Luckily, I’ve heard Granny say she thinks Cousin Carla is funny. So I’m hoping they’ll have a good time.
Also, I’m glad Mom and Dad picked Smokey Sadie’s. I love their pulled pork sandwiches.
Much Later
We’re back. Here’s a list of everything good and everything bad that happened at that dinner:
EVERYTHING GOOD
1. Mom told us that she and Dad have decided NOT to send Granny to a senior home. At least, not until they feel they have absolutely no other choice. I asked her, “Are you looking into it, though? Like, scheduling calls to discuss it?” Because I’m worried about her talking to Pamela Trout. “We’re holding off for now,” she said.
So that’s very good. But it is the ONLY good thing that happened at that dinner.
EVERYTHING BAD
1. Mom and Dad think we have to hire a nurse to be with Granny for most of the day, almost every day. So a stranger will be in our house with us ALL THE TIME.
What if she chews with her mouth open? Or clips her toenails in front of us? Or sets the kitchen radio to classical music? Or stares and stares at me while I brush my teeth? I DON’T WANT A STRANGER IN MY HOUSE.
2. Our apartment is already too small. Having Stranger Nurse around all the time will make it feel even smaller. Even if Stranger Nurse is tiny. Which she won’t be. She’s not going to be a FAIRY. So we have to move.
3. Bigger apartments in our neighborhood are very expensive. We cannot afford a bigger apartment in our neighborhood. Not even if I stop buying clothes and only wear Jo’s hand-me-
downs and start selling my drawings online.
4. Bigger apartments in other neighborhoods like Washington Heights are not as expensive. So we have to move to another neighborhood. Maybe Washington Heights. Maybe not.
5. Maybe we will have to change schools. Maybe not. Dad said, “It’s early days yet. Let’s not start pulling our hair out about that until we have to.”
6. The pulled pork was too salty and the sandwich rolls were hard and dry. What has happened to Smokey Sadie’s?
At least Granny and Cousin Carla were happy when we got home.
“She’s teaching me hip-hop moves!” Granny told us when we walked in. She was sitting in a living room chair, and Cousin Carla was standing on the living room rug.
“Popping and locking, popping and locking,” Cousin Carla said, jerking her body around.
She looked ridiculous! She’s FORTY!
But Granny was laughing, and Cousin Carla was laughing, so the rest of us started laughing, too.
Cousin Carla,
Popping and Locking
Sunday, December 12
We just got a weird call on our home phone.
When I picked up, a boy’s voice said, “Um . . . yeah . . .” With long pauses.
I thought it was a prank. I almost hung up.
But then he said, “Is Jo there?” And I was pretty sure I recognized his voice.
“Is this JAKE?” I said.
He coughed and said, “Right.” Then he said, “Hold on a second.” He muttered something to someone, off the phone. I thought I heard “bad idea.” Then I heard a familiar voice in the background.
“Is that VIOLET?” I said. I definitely sounded annoyed. Because she’s ALWAYS around somewhere, knowing things I don’t!
Then Jake said, “Gotta go.” And he hung up!
I went to find Jo. She was sitting at her desk doing homework.
Secrets Out! Page 5
