Jack chuckles. “What do we do?” he asks me.
“I don’t know. I guess we just have to tuck her in. But only if she opens the door.”
Amelia barely inches her door open enough for her little blue eye to see through the crack. “If you tickle me after you enter, then your hands will fall off.”
I widen my eyes and look to Jack. “That would be terrible.”
“It sure would,” he agrees. “It looks like we’ll have to behave.”
She opens the door another few inches. “Don’t lose your hands, you need them.”
I lift my palm. “I swear I won’t tickle.”
Amelia glances to Jack, who follows my vow. “I swear it too.”
The door pushes open. “Then I will disable the potion.”
I get Amelia ready for bed, which takes almost thirty minutes since she won’t stop talking to Jack about anything he’ll listen to. Once she’s settled, music and stars on, I head back out, rubbing the back of my neck.
“Everything okay?” he asks, holding a beer he helped himself to.
“Yeah, she should be passed out soon.”
I grab another slice of pizza and pop the top of my own beer as Jack finds the football game on television. “Carolina sucks this year.”
“Well, our defense sucks,” I say, sitting next to him on the couch.
“No shit.”
“So, about that rumor . . .” Jack says after a few minutes.
“I can only imagine.”
Mostly because I’ve heard it a few times. Thanks to my sister’s big mouth, the whole town is talking about Jessica and me.
“Is it true?” Jack asks.
“It’s mostly true. God only knows what embellishments have formed to make it sound worse.”
“So, you and Jessica had sex a few weeks ago and she’s moving in?”
Jack has been my best friend since we were seven. There’s nothing he doesn’t know about my life, but for some reason, I don’t want to tell him about her. What we’re doing, it’s just ours. Well, it was supposed to be.
“She’s not moving in, Jesus. Is that what they’re saying?”
“That, and how the two of you have been spending a lot of time together. Apparently, you were spotted driving her home very early in the morning the other night when your daughter was at a sleepover.”
“This town needs a hobby.”
Jack shrugs. “They have one. Talking about you and Jess.”
“We’re taking it slow.”
He laughs. “You two don’t know the definition of slow.”
I drain my beer. “I don’t want a lecture.”
“I’m not giving you one. I’m just saying that slow would’ve been a date, then another, then after like three weeks of coming home, jerking off thinking of her, maybe she lets you diddle a little.”
“Did you just say diddle?”
He smirks. “That’s all you’d get to do. But no, you guys skipped all that and went headfirst.”
I huff, not really giving a shit about what he thinks. “We’re not jumping in.”
“Gray, you want to fool yourself, then have at it, but we both know the truth.”
“Whatever.”
“I don’t blame you,” he adds after a minute of silence. “You loved her. You always have. It’s not like we all didn’t see it coming.”
“She’s going to leave,” I say because it needs to be said. “She’s gone as soon as the doctor clears her.”
“And you’re okay with it?”
“Of course I’m not.”
He shifts in his seat, tossing the remote onto the ottoman. “What are you going to do about it?”
“I don’t know.”
And that’s the thing, I don’t know how to hold on to someone who wants to be free.
“Then, take my advice, Gray, life is about moments. I know we all want the endings to be great, but the end is . . . well, it’s hell. It’s knowing you can’t have what you want. It’s seeing all that could’ve been but watching it slip away. The end is not what you want. Trust me. So, don’t go for the ending, go for what you can have now. Date her, love her, try to hold her or let her go because, if you do none of that, you’ll regret it.” Jack takes a long, slow pull of his beer, draining it. “Now, enough talking about this shit, let’s watch the game.”
I stare at my best friend, who just gave what was probably the longest speech he’s ever given about something non-sports related, and think about how right he is.
I may not get the ending I want, but I can live the story now.
“See, going slow has its merits,” I tell her as I push the hair off her face. Her breathing is ragged as she turns and bites my chest. “Hey!”
“That was for not listening when I said it was too much.”
I laugh, pulling her tighter. “I wanted to set a record.”
Three orgasms were achieved, and I feel like a fucking stud. I don’t know if sex has ever been this good. It sure as hell wasn’t like this when we were kids. Not that it was ever bad, but this is out of this damn world.
“You broke me,” Jess says, turning to lie facing the ceiling.
“I feel no remorse.”
She turns her head, a smile on her lips. “What time do you have to pick up Melia?”
I glance over at the clock. “The sitter can keep her until six.”
“We should probably get dressed then.”
“I’d rather we stay naked.”
Jessica laughs. “That would be the talk of the town.”
“We’re already that.”
Since my sister announced that Jessica and I slept together, it’s been question after question. We’ve done a good job of avoiding committing to anything, mostly because neither one of us can really answer it anyway.
Are you guys back together? Did you tell her you love her? Does she love you? Have you convinced her to stay this time? What does all this mean? What happens when she is cleared to leave again?
None of those questions are things she and I are ready to face yet. Regarding how I feel, there’s nothing about what I want that is slow.
It’s as though I want it all—now, which is fucking stupid.
Jessica sits up, her dark hair falling down, creating a curtain around her face. “I hate this town. Why can’t we just . . . be?”
“Because they’re rooting for us.”
She laughs once. “Not everyone.”
No, not my parents. “The people who matter are.”
Jess turns her head, eyes filled with a myriad of emotions. “You don’t care about what your parents think? Not even a little?”
“Not even in the slightest.”
“So, if they were to cut you off and fire you from the inn, that wouldn’t matter?”
Little does she know that’s exactly what Friday night’s dinner conversation was. Mom going on and on about appearances. Dad talking about the family money and how he’d do everything in his power to make sure that it was protected. Stella and I sat there—stunned.
Not that I should’ve been. My parents are both assholes.
Still, to be so openly hostile about her, after all this time, it was ridiculous.
After I finished my salad, I stood and walked out. Stella sent me a text after fifteen minutes, thinking I just went to get fresh air, but I left. I’m not a kid and I won’t listen to it.
“Would it matter? I guess. It would be hard for Stella and my brothers to have to pick a side. It would make it financially difficult, but if we were more than whatever this is then, no, it wouldn’t matter. I’d find a way.”
Jess tucks her hair behind her ear. “This is insane, you know that? We’re adults, and I am not a bad person. I don’t get it. I don’t understand why your parents hate me so much. I was poor, oh well.”
There’s a reason, and it’s one that I will never tell her. Jessica’s mother and mine were once friends, there’s a reason they’re not anymore. My father tried to start something with her mom, bu
t she turned him down. However, my mother doesn’t believe her and, to this day, thinks that she left with him.
“It doesn’t matter. It wouldn’t matter to me. I guess that’s what I’m saying.”
“Do you want . . . more?” Her voice is small, the vulnerability breaking me.
“What do you think?”
Her hand lifts, touching my cheek. “I think we are fools who are pretending we’re not already more.”
I wrap my fingers around her small wrist, bringing her palm to my lips. “I won’t beg you to stay. It has to be your choice. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
Tears fill her eyes. “I knew that all it would take would be one look in your blue-green eyes and I’d be done for. I knew that I would fall right back in love with you. It’s why I stayed away.”
“And now?”
Her head shakes gently. “Now I’m afraid there’s no hope.”
“There’s always hope, Jess.”
She leans down, her hands on my chest. “Not at keeping my heart from being yours.”
“Good.”
“Good?”
I nod and bring her lips to mine. “Good because I have no intention of letting you leave without a fight.”
Chapter 23
Jessica
I open the door to see the most handsome man standing there. “Well, aren’t you spiffy,” I say.
Grayson pulls flowers from behind his back and extends them to me. “Spiffy?”
I shrug. “I have a brain injury, blame that. Or that you’re so hot I couldn’t think straight.”
He laughs and then gives me a soft kiss. “You look gorgeous.”
“Thank you.”
I’m wearing a pair of jeggings with a halter tunic. It’s comfortable but still cute since I have no idea what we’re doing.
“You ready?” he asks.
When I get to the car, Melia waves frantically. “Hi, Miss Jessica.”
“Hello, Melia,” I say with a bit of confusion.
“We are kidnapping you!” she exclaims with a grin.
“Well, this is a very well executed plan then.”
Grayson looks back at her. “Remember what I said?”
She nods. “No telling her.”
“No telling me what?” I ask.
“Where we are taking you!” Her giggle is adorable and loud as she covers her mouth. “Daddy said it has to be a surprise.”
I turn, dropping my voice to be conspiratorial. “You can tell me, I won’t let him know.”
Her gaze shifts to him. “He can hear everything.”
“Everything?”
“He said it’s a Daddy superpower.”
I can’t stop the smile that grows. “Oh, well, then we have to be super careful around him.”
Melia beams. “That’s what Auntie says too. She says that she has superpowers too.”
“Your family is very special,” I agree.
“Auntie can block Daddy’s hearing.”
I had no idea that our date out was going to be with his daughter, but I couldn’t be happier. She’s the sweetest kid, and I love being around her. The other morning, she woke up to find me on the couch, feigning sleep, and we made pancakes and bacon to wake Grayson up.
It was the most fun I’ve had in a very long time.
When Gray drove me to work, he asked if I would go out with him tomorrow so he could show me something. I assumed that it was another way to get me in bed, but it turns out, he was serious.
“I like her powers,” I tell Amelia.
Grayson snorts. “I am the most powerful because I can take her powers away.”
Amelia looks horrified for a second and then laughs. “You’re silly, Daddy.”
“I am not.”
“Yes you are!”
Seeing him like this still takes my breath away. I always knew he’d be a great father, but actually witnessing it is something else. He loves her with a ferocity that makes my heart grow each time I see them interact.
It’s clear that Amelia thinks he walks on water.
“So,” I say, clapping my hands together, “where are we going?”
Grayson tilts his head my way while giving me a wry smile. “You’ll have to wait and find out.”
We drive thirty minutes outside of Willow Creek Valley before he pulls onto a dirt road that has a no trespassing sign at the front.
“Did you bring me out to the middle of nowhere for a reason? If you break out a shovel, I’m going to hit you with it first.”
He chuckles. “Come on.”
We get out, and Amelia rushes over and takes my hand. “You have to see the lake!”
“A lake?”
“It’s called Melia Lake.” The pride in her voice rings through the air.
I look over at Grayson, who is smiling at us. “Go ahead. I’ll bring the food.”
She pulls me along a well-worn path and then we exit to a breathtaking sight. It’s a gorgeous lake that is surrounded by lush trees and birds flying overhead. The sky is a beautiful light blue with just a few fluffy clouds overhead. Over to the right, there’s a short fishing dock with a small skiff moored to the post.
We move a little deeper, and I inhale a deep breath of the pine-scented fresh air. It’s a place where a person could be both lost and found at the same time.
“Wow,” I say, taking it all in.
“It’s my secret place,” she tells me.
“Why is that?”
“Daddy doesn’t want anyone to know about it. It’s where we come when we want to hide away.”
“So, no one else has been here? Not Auntie Stella or Grandma?”
“Nope.”
“What about Uncle Alex or Uncle Joshua?”
Grayson’s voice cuts in, causing me to jump a little. “No, just Melia, and now . . . you.”
I turn, my chest tight as emotions swirl inside me. He brought me to a place that matters to him. He’s sharing something he’s never shown anyone else.
“Not even Uncle Jack knows!” Melia informs me as she spins in circles.
“Why. You. Place.” I release a shaky breath, feeling so overwhelmed I can’t get the words out.
Grayson reaches for my hand, lacing our fingers together. “Easy, Jess.”
Nothing about this is easy. He’s letting me into his life, his heart, and something that he and his daughter shared.
I want so badly to ask him why, but I already know why. Because it’s us.
He and I have always been this way. We don’t know how to love with reservations. The day I fell in love with Grayson Parkerson, he stole every part of me. He loved me so wholly that there wasn’t a chance of anyone else being able to hold my heart in its completion.
“You really suck at this slow thing.”
He grins. “I don’t know how much time I have, so here’s my warning, love, I’m not holding back.”
Before I can respond, Amelia rushes back to us. “Come on! I have to show you the boat.”
I walk away with her, looking back at Grayson, already feeling like I’m up to my neck in water.
“Will you come to my recital?” Melia asks while we’re floating in the boat—if one can call it that.
“When is it?”
“Next month.”
“I would love to,” I tell her.
“Daddy, do we have enough tickets?”
He nods. “I got extra.”
Grayson is rowing us out toward the other side of the lake as Melia and I lounge at the front under a blanket.
The boat, which I swore I would not get in, has no bench in the front, forcing us to lie down. Melia thinks it’s great since we made a makeshift bed and we have snacks. I feel much too close to the water and the lapping sounds make it seem as if I’m about to get soaked at any second.
After a few more minutes pass, I start to relax a bit more, and Melia and I decide to find shapes in the clouds.
“That looks like a castle.”
“It does.”
I grin. “I think it could be a worm.”
“Or maybe it’s a pencil!” Amelia moves quickly, causing the boat to rock.
“Easy, Monkey, or we’ll be going swimming, which is not in our plans.”
She lies back down carefully. “Sorry, Daddy.”
“It’s okay, just go slow.”
I instantly look up at him, smiling. “Yes, we should all go slow.”
“Only when safety is involved.” He gives me a wink.
I roll my eyes at the playful banter we tend to have. Grayson brings out the carefree side of me, and I love every second of it.
He rows a few more times, and then I see the dock on the other side. “I’ll tie us off and then get you girls out.”
Melia and I sit patiently as Grayson handles it. Then he reaches down, hoisting Melia out in one pull. “Go over and wait by the big tree,” he tells her.
She rushes off and then he helps me out. His strong arms wrap around my waist, steadying me because it still feels as if I’m rocking.
“You feel good here,” Grayson says with a slight tremble in his voice.
“What do you mean?”
“This place, it’s more than just this.”
I look around, trying to understand his words. “I don’t . . .”
His lips are flat except for the slight curve at the ends. “I want to show you something.” Gray steps back, stretching his hand out. “Will you come with me?”
If he only knew just how much he’d already shown me. He’s reminded me that his love is beautiful and I want nothing more than to live in it.
Leaving him, it would be . . . stupid.
How have I let this happen? How did I fail to guard myself, even when I kept saying I was going to?
Instead of saying no or asking to leave, I take his outstretched hand and let him guide the way.
We climb, Melia running beside us, holding my other hand. We go up a set of old stairs made of wood that look like they’ve been here since the mountain formed. And then, there’s a clearing.
How I didn’t see it from the other side of the lake, I don’t know. But a very old, very sturdy-looking home sits here.
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