by Lexy Wolfe
"Really?! What was it like?"
Terrence chuckled softly at the breathless questions. "It was very confusing, because she remembered Desantiva from before the Great War when it was not an empty wasteland." He sighed softly, closing his eyes. "It hurt to see what it had become because of our ancestors. Sometimes Dzee's memories would be so strong, I would feel like I was forgetting who I was."
Zoe looked down, biting her lip. "Was it... hard? Remembering who you were?"
Terrence sighed softly, looking out the window. "Sometimes it still is, even though she is gone." He looked down as Zoe took his hand in both of hers, pressing it against her cheek. "You remember your meditation exercises? Use them to focus on those memories that you know are yours. That is how you remember who you are now."
"I wish I could just forget all those things that aren't mine," Zoe said. "They just clutter up my head!"
"No, don't try to forget the memories that aren't yours." He smiled a little at her. "The Knowing One chose you to be the keeper of those memories. Just take your time understanding them. One day, they will be a part of you."
"Will you help me?" Zoe asked. "Please?"
"Of course, Zoe." Terrence hugged the girl reassuringly. "I would be happy to help as much as I can." Kissing the top of her head, he pulled her against him and held her protectively. The exhausted girl sighed and closed her eyes, finally falling asleep.
Chapter 25
In the carefully manicured area in front of Ash's house, Lyra sat on a log bench, watching Skyfire pace like a caged animal. After he had worn a groove in the fallen leaves, she suggested hesitantly, "I am sure nothing bad has happened. Master Ash would never knowingly allow anything to endanger the Academy or Mistress Storm."
"I know something has upset her." Skyfire continued pacing. "Upset her badly. Even the Totani are reacting to it." He rubbed his tattooed shoulder absently.
"How can you tell?" Lyra got to her feet, catching his arm to hug it lightly.
He stopped, taking a deep breath to calm himself. He managed a wan smile, touching her cheek affectionately with the back of his fingers. "Do you know how some can sense a change in the weather just by feeling it?" She nodded silently. "There is a good reason Thandar blessed her with the name 'Storm.' I can tell she's upset. Her moods change quickly, and they are often violent when they are this strong."
"Pacing won't help anything," Lyra pointed out, her worry for him apparent. "Come." He allowed her to lead him to the bench where she sat, patting the place next to her. "Tell me how you met Storm while we wait for them to return from the Academy."
The man sighed, acquiescing to the request, struggling to force himself to relax. "All those who learn the forms of the Path of the Sword are assigned to travel for a season with another Swordanzen. I was assigned to Chase. He and Storm were th'yala, and traveled together when duties did not draw her away. I came to know her then." He smiled faintly. "It was very strange. She was younger than both Chase and I, but she had been a Named Swordanzen far longer than Chase had been."
"How long has she been a Swordanzen?" Lyra wondered, eyes wide. "She does not seem all that old."
Skyfire shrugged one shoulder. "She has seen perhaps twenty, twenty-one summers." Not looking at Lyra, he explained in a low, grave voice. "Her tribe was killed when she was a child of six summers. When she reappeared seven years later, she was a Githalin Swordanzen."
"But where did she go? Did a lost tribe take her in and teach her?"
Skyfire hesitated, then shook his head. "My people... do not have what yours call orphans. Children without a tribe are left to the desert to die. The Totani themselves took her in."
Lyra covered her mouth. "...left to die?! Oh, goddess, how horrible! I thought your people protected one another! Especially children."
"It is not something we enjoy doing, Lyra. It is just... necessary." Skyfire shrugged, turning to meet her eyes. "We are too few. Too many tribes had been wiped out of existence because of taking in foundlings who brought disease or bad luck. If they survive to become adults, they might be accepted by a tribe."
"But she wasn't?"
"She returned as Swordanzen. Swordanzen are to the tribes as Guardians are to all others. They belong to all tribes and to none." He looked back out to the distance. "She was so beautiful. And so alone. I just wanted..." His shoulders sagged in shame. "I just wanted to prove I was good enough to be Swordanzen. To impress her. But I failed my final tests and the Totani Kailee would not Name me. Kailee said that I was unfit because my purpose was tainted."
"But aren’t you Named now?" Lyra prompted, puzzled.
"I am, but that is another story. It is safe to say that Kailee is one of the more... temperamental Totani." Skyfire smiled wanly. "She was right, but I could not see it. I had to learn for myself."
Lyra hugged Skyfire's arm tightly. "What happened between when you failed and when you became a Named Swordanzen?"
The dark-skinned Desanti was silent as he considered how to explain Desanti social peculiarities. "There is only one other living member of the na'Zhekali tribe besides Storm. Elder Verris." Skyfire chuckled quietly at Lyra's expression and answered her unspoken question. "When someone is fortunate enough to become an elder, they leave the wandering tribes because traveling is too difficult. He had convinced me to try to win Storm as a mate. He thought if she would agree to a season dance at least, she would decide to become Tyluri, a trainer of Swordanzen, and restore the last of the ancient tribes."
"Couldn't she have... done that while she was a Swordanzen?"
"You must understand. Life for Swordanzen is not like it is for your mages. To be a warrior is to challenge or be challenged. Swordanzen are sworn to meet every challenge at any time until they die or are no longer Swordanzen. Others can step aside from challenges, but not Swordanzen, even if they are sick, injured, or with child." He shook his head. "Neither of us understood that Githalin do not have the option to stop being Swordanzen. They are what they are until they cross the sword in death." He smiled wanly. "That was about when Lord Almek came to First Home, bringing Lord Ash."
Hugging his arm, Lyra leaned against Skyfire, resting her head on his shoulder. "What happened to her th'yala? She does not seem the sort who flits from bed to bed."
Skyfire blinked, looking down at Lyra quizzically. "Flits from...? Oh. No, Storm does not get close to many. She—" He cut himself off as he heard the approach of a horse. He got to his feet when he heard shouts of alarm from inside the stables, the drizar kicking out the door. "This is bad," he muttered.
As the horse appeared over the rise, Storm jumped off without waiting for Ash to stop the animal. The mage reached out as if to catch her, but was not fast enough. "Storm! Storm, wait!" Storm ran to meet the drizar as he leapt over the fence. With a skill that bordered supernatural, she mounted him on the run and they took off into the forest. Ash, Skyfire and Lyra all called to her, but Storm ignored them.
Skyfire scowled, grabbing Ash's mare by the head harness and dragging her around with herculean effort. Ash scowled at the Desanti man. "Get out of my way! I have to—"
Skyfire did not budge nor release the horse, glaring up at him. "I know her better than you, treewalker. If you want to remain unbloodied, you will leave her alone." The two scowled until Ash relented finally. "What happened?"
Ash took a deep breath to calm himself, continuing to watch in the direction Storm disappeared. "The ceremony to choose a new Se'edai required a new Voice to be chosen for the Oracle Stone, so the Great Mother could speak to all directly and make Her choice known."
Lyra's eyes went wide. "There is a new Oracle? Oh, thank goodness!" she said excitedly. Realizing belatedly this was no time for joy, Lyra lowered her eyes.
Ash nodded, barely noticing either the interruption or the excitement in the young woman's voice. "The Oracle addressed Storm in Desanti. I do not know what She told Storm, but..." He waved a hand in the direction Storm went.
The Swordanzen man crossed his a
rms, pondering. "Can you repeat anything of what this Voice said to her?"
Ash nodded, eyes unfocusing as he repeated the conversation verbatim. When he opened his eyes, the Swordanzen's utterly shocked expression only added to the urgency fueling his worry.
"That wasn't Desanti. That was Swordanzen." The dark man whistled sharply, his drizzen using the destruction to run from the stables, also clearing the corral fence, though not as easily as the drizar had. The animal made a shrill noise as she skidded to a stop before Skyfire, her sharp claws digging slashes into the packed dirt. Without the benefit of tack, the man easily climbed astride the wicked-looking desert beast.
"What is it? What's wrong?" Dismounting, Ash took a step closer to Skyfire. He hesitated from trying to stop the Desanti, but only just barely held himself back, mindful of the drizzen's sharp teeth as she rolled her eyes at him balefully.
"Just stay here," Skyfire stated flatly. "I will bring her back." Leaning forward, knees tightly hugging the animal, he whispered in Desanti, the creature taking off after Storm and the drizar.
Lyra looked up at Ash anxiously . "Master Ash? I am worried—"
Ash looked at the slight Forentan girl, pale under the cold flush on her cheeks. Normally, the mage prided himself on his aloof detachment from others. Without a second thought, he put an arm around Lyra comfortingly. "They will both return to us," he assured. "They have to," he added softly. Lyra looked up at him, hugging him in return as they both waited.
Chapter 26
Once he was far enough from Ash's home, Skyfire urged the drizzen to a stop. He leaned forward, thumping her neck before he took a deep breath. "Kailee," he called in a low voice.
The growling, unhappy voice of the desert cat Totani swelled in his mind. Skyfire grimaced in pain, covering the shoulder bearing his Githalin mark. Thandar speaks with her. The daughter is very upset. Not even our lord can console her.
Skyfire closed his eyes. "I wish I could say I was surprised. Lord Ash means well, but I doubt he has a sliver of understanding of her." Looking towards the northwest, he blinked. "I am surprised I can sense her."
There was a pause. You must hurry. Thandar distracts her, but she has blocked him before. Kailee's voice was bitter. If she hides herself, not even our lord will be able to find her. That cannot happen, else the land will suffer the ragewinds of his grief. Skyfire nodded and spurred his drizzen on. When the drizar shrilled his challenge to the forest, Skyfire put a hand on the drizzen's shoulder as he urged her to stop. She snorted, bobbing her head as she dug into the soil with her sharp claws, but remained quiet.
Carefully creeping up to the clearing, Skyfire paused. Storm paced, her seething words to Thandar unintelligible. He waited until her back was to him before he lunged forward and caught her by her arm. "No! Let me go!" Storm snarled, her eyes wild with the turmoil of emotions that all but radiated from her.
Skyfire pressed his lips together, catching her other arm, preventing her from drawing her weapons. The man swore colorfully as she kicked him and broke free briefly. He managed to catch her ankle, making her fall on her front. Skyfire quickly moved to pin her down. "Storm! The mage told me what the Forentan Oracle told you."
She froze. Storm grimaced, turning her face into the ground. Feeling the tension of flight ease from her body, Skyfire moved to the side, sitting next to her. Resting a consoling hand on her shoulder, he waited until she spoke. "He understands Swordanzen now?" she finally asked dejectedly, sitting on the ground next to the other Swordanzen, not looking at him.
Skyfire shook his head. "No, I do not believe so. He is skilled at memorizing sounds, but he did not appear to have any idea what was said. And I did not tell him what was said." Skyfire brushed dirt from her face with his other hand gently. "But he will no doubt find out eventually. He can be very determined, especially when it involves someone he is very attached to." He tilted his head. "I do not understand. Nor do the Totani. What has you so upset?"
Furious, she tried to push Skyfire away, but he held her firmly next to him. "He lied to me," she growled darkly. "I trusted him and he lied to me!"
Skyfire frowned. "Lord Ash lied? Lied about what?" The concept was so unbelievable that he had trouble wrapping his mind around the idea.
"Everything!" Storm seethed. "He would tell me how alike we are. How we both had lost our families. But he lied. He has always had a family. He is part of one of their oldest, most powerful families. And he knew! That's the worst of it. It wasn't a surprise to learn he had family, but that it was revealed in front of everyone. I could see it in his eyes, knowing he was caught in a lie. There was no surprise about his family."
Banging her fist into the ground until she bled, she yelled, "He mocked me! He lied to me so he could try to win me over like one of those brainless twits they call women. I am nothing but a prize to him, to prove Forenta dominates Desantiva."
She shook with quiet, tearless sobbing. Skyfire pulled her close, holding her tightly until she stopped struggling. The man stroked her back, sighing softly. "Storm, maybe he had to lie. Forenten are not like Desanti. From what I have seen, they dislike any sort of conflict. They are much more subtle and much less honorable in their confrontations."
Storm sighed, closing her eyes as she rested her head on his chest. After a time contemplating his words, she finally conceded the point. "Maybe. Right now, I am not sure I can trust him."
"You cannot deny that he cares about you." Skyfire held her tighter when he felt her flinch. He kissed her hair. "That is why his deception hurts you so much... you care about him also."
Laughing bitterly, Storm pushed Skyfire away, drawing her knees up to rest her arms on them, her forehead on her crossed arms. "Did you realize I almost considered rethinking the taboo of Swordanzen taking mates because of him? Fool that I am."
"You are not a fool," Skyfire snapped at her, disliking the self denigration in her voice. "His goddess said—"
"The gods do not live among the mortals as one of them! Do you really think his people would welcome their beloved Illaini Magus having children with a Desanti?" she demanded, looking into his eyes.
"He doesn't care what anyone else thinks." Skyfire asked in exasperation, "Why do you worry so much?"
"Because by our traditions, my children would go to my tribe, and my tribe is dead." Storm shook her head dismally. "Any children would have to go to his family when I die because I have no tribe. But Ash... Ash was tormented by his own people growing up just because he was thought to be lowborn. How do you think any child we shared would be treated? Who would raise it if we must perform duties as Guardians? Or even just as Illaini and Githalin? Neither of us can stop being what the gods named us." She put her hand over his tattooed shoulder. "It is why we are marked for life, unlike others who only receive the Swordanzen Naming Blade."
Skyfire sighed and pulled the woman into an embrace. "I do not know what to say, th'yala. There are no patterns to explain matters between Desanti and Forenten that are not about conflict and death."
"Their goddess called me... mother of a new era, Skyfire. Father confirmed her words in my mind. But..." Pausing, she whispered harshly, "I knew. I already knew before the Knowing One said anything."
"You knew?" Skyfire asked blankly. "How could you have known what the Goddess would say?"
Storm sighed. "Not what she was going to say. She at least spared me the shame of the defilers' get knowing by speaking Swordanzen. But I knew that that I may have children someday. Sired by Ash." She looked into Skyfire's startled eyes. "I scryed the future in fire."
"You have been able to scry? Does the Dusvet know?" Shaking his head, Skyfire looked skyward. "I have tried, but..."
"No, I have not told him. I listened to him instructing Taylin and discovered I could easily do it myself. It is easier when you consider scrying much like wielding a sword. Once you make what you scry a part of you, you can see. Not very much different than how Desanti see the world, except it is not just the present we see during scrying.
" She looked away. "And the future is always volatile, especially seeing points without the context of when it is relative to you."
Skyfire sat back to stare at her. "Is that why you had been putting Lord Ash off so much? Why? I would think you would see him suitable to breed with, and it might bring what was lost to the Desanti back to us through your children with him. And I imagine he would not be disagreeable about mating with you. He does have strong feelings for you—"
The woman shook her head sharply. "It is not about if he is suitable! I thought I had time... that I had a choice." Storm looked up at Skyfire, the depth of her despair vivid in their green-gold depths. "I don't know... anything... about babies. I can't. I just... can't. Not with a man I cannot trust and with no tribe who could take my child to raise when I die." She covered her face with her hands, the Desanti man putting his arm around her. "I am afraid, Skyfire. Everything is wrong. Nothing makes sense."
The man hushed her, pulling her tightly against him. "Things are different here in this place," he said softly. "We do not need to stand alone, th'yala. You," he whispered, kissing her temple gently, "are not alone. I will always stand with you, as will the other students of Almek. They are as a tribe to us."
"I pray you are right," Storm whispered.
Chapter 27
The setting sun painted the sky in brilliant colors, wisps of clouds adding to the panorama that could be easily seen from the forest floor now that the leaves had all fallen. The two Desanti finally returned at a considerably less panic inducing pace than when they had left. Both dismounted, gave the desert animals appropriate affection and praises before patting their rumps to dismiss them. With impossible grace, both jumped back into the corral and walked into the warm barn obediently as if nothing had happened. Muffled shouts of short-lived panic could be heard from inside the stables.
