Love forever and always,
Gray
A heaving sob rose up in her throat and gagged her. She moved in front of the sink waiting to empty her stomach, but nothing came. No vomit, no tears, no sounds. She stood there hunched over, holding herself up with her palms jammed into the countertop, somehow still breathing even with the shock jarring her lungs.
How was it possible for her stomach to feel so empty and so painfully full all at once? I want you to love someone else. No. No! He couldn’t ask that of her. It was too much. She couldn’t. Not when it hurt like this. Gray was wrong about her. She wasn’t strong. That was the problem. Her heart had broken, and it was still in pieces.
The doorbell chimed. Oh, God. Ty could not see her like this. She quickly shoved the package into a cabinet and snatched a paper towel to dab at the mascara that had to have run down her cheeks. Pain hammered in her heart, sending an ache through her ribs, but she quickly jogged to the bathroom and touched up her face.
How could Gray intrude on her life like this? I keep wondering what your life will look like in ten years. I want it to be full. And beautiful. And meaningful. Didn’t he know that was impossible when there was a part of her missing?
The doorbell rang again, followed by a steady knock. “Darla? Hello?” Ty called.
“Coming!” If only she could cancel. But then Ty would know something was wrong.
She put another few dabs of powder under her reddened eyes and applied more lipstick before scampering back out to the living room in a rush to get to the front door. It took her a full minute of fumbling with the lock before she could pull it open. “Sorry,” she gasped, stepping aside so he could come in. “I’m running late.”
“No apology necessary.” Ty held a bouquet of colorful gerbera daisies in his hand. He’d dressed up too. In sleek gray pants and a white button-down shirt instead of his usual jeans and flannel. He gazed at her for a few seconds. “Are you okay?” he finally asked.
“Of course.” Without making eye contact she closed the door. She’d been okay. She’d been just fine before Gray’s letter. Maybe you have everything you’ve dreamed of. Didn’t he know he’d taken her dreams with him?
“I brought you flowers.” Ty held out the bouquet, looking at her carefully, as though he knew something wasn’t right but couldn’t figure out exactly what.
“Thanks.” She took the flowers and bustled away from him, into the kitchen where she filled a vase with water.
He followed, still eyeing her. “Are you sure you’re okay? You look…upset.”
“It’s a cold.” She set the flowers on the counter and slipped past him to find her coat. She had to keep moving forward. She couldn’t stop to think about that letter. About Gray. She had things to do. Important things. Things that proved her life wasn’t pathetic. “I’m just a little stuffy right now,” she said, forcing a smile. “But I’ll be fine.”
“You sure?” Ty helped her into her coat. “Because we don’t have to go. If you’re not feeling good…”
Darla stepped away from him and did her own suspicious staring. Did he not want to go? Why was he hesitating? “Of course we have to go.” She snatched her purse off the console in the entryway. They had a plan and they were sticking to it. “Your parents will be here in a few days. If we’re going to convince them we’re a couple, first we need to convince everyone else in town.” She pulled open the door and shooed Ty outside. “So buckle up, Buttercup. We’re about to get engaged.”
Chapter Five
Darla stared out the passenger’s window of Ty’s truck, watching the blur of Christmas lights pass. For once she didn’t feel like talking. Too much simmered inside of her: a tangle of sadness and anger against the cards she was dealt and, the worst of them all—defeat. Gray knew. He knew in ten years she’d be alone. He knew that she would be hiding in plain sight, and he’d called her out on it.
“Soooo…what should this look like?” Ty asked as they turned into the parking lot of the Topaz Falls Community Center. The square, one-story building was entirely outlined with colorful globe lights set on a mismatched twinkle pattern, making the display look as chaotic as her current mood.
“What should what look like?” Darla asked, still distracted by the emotions trying to claw their way out of her chest.
“This. Us. The…relationship we’re starting tonight.” Ty kept the engine running and turned to face her. “This isn’t something I’ve had a ton of practice with. The whole serious relationship thing. What do we do?”
He was nervous. Her jaw nearly dropped. Ty was so nervous that his knee was pumping and his face had flushed. Amusement pressed in against her sadness. Ty Forrester rode bulls for a living, but he was nervous about being her pretend boyfriend.
“You can start by taking a deep breath,” she told him, allowing herself to do the same. The pause brought some semblance of clarity. This was what the two of them did. They were the life of the party. They had fun. They flirted. And tonight, they’d simply turn that up a couple of notches. “What do you like best about hanging out with me?”
The question seemed to sit him up straighter. “Uh. Well. You know…”
“Besides the sex.” Darla scolded him with a look. Though she had to admit that was one of her favorite parts about hanging out with him too.
Ty finally grinned. “Okay. If I have to pick something else…” His gaze moved slowly down her body.
“Butt, boobs, and legs don’t qualify for an answer either,” she said, reading his mind.
“That’s not what I was going to say.” Ty shrugged defensively. “But for the record, you are hot, Darla. That’s not my fault.” He straightened the collar of his shirt. “What I was going to say, though, is you make me laugh. I like hanging out with you because you make me feel…happier.”
Now she was the one sitting straighter. That wasn’t exactly what she’d expected him to say. “I do?”
“Yeah.” His expression took on a more serious tone. “We have fun together. And not just in your kitchen. I can be at the most boring event—like, say, a cookie-decorating extravaganza—and when I see you walk in, I know I’m gonna have fun.”
“Oh.” A stirring warmth brewed low in her stomach. She could say the same about him, but they usually didn’t do this. Talk about deeper things. Darla shrugged off the compliment. “Then that’s what you focus on when we’re in front of all those people. Having fun. I’ll make you laugh. I promise.” It would be better for him to laugh than it would be for him to keep looking at her the way he was now—steady and sure, like he’d started to see past their boundaries. She moved to get out of the truck, but Ty caught her arm.
“Wait. What about you? What do you like best about hanging out with me?”
“The sex.” She tried for the same playful tone she’d always used on him, but there was a catch in her throat. “Definitely.”
“You said that didn’t count.” He narrowed his eyes into a naughty look. “And I already know how much you like the sex. Last time, I believe your exact words were—”
“You’re really thoughtful,” she said quickly, cutting him off. She didn’t need him to remind her how she’d begged him not to stop. “Which is surprising given that you’re a bachelor bull rider.”
Ty seemed taken aback. “I’m thoughtful?”
“Yes.” And the fact that he didn’t realize it made it even more genuine. “You always seem to know when I need a drink or something to eat or…a distraction.” Like tonight. Sitting here with him had already eased the pain Gray’s letter had brought. “And you gave me gerbera daisies.”
“I did.” He nodded, looking rather proud of himself. “I brought you those flowers because I remembered you said they were your favorite.”
“Exactly. You remembered.” And that said a lot about him.
“Damn, I’m a pretty good pretend boyfriend.” His grin turned sly. “You’re one lucky woman.”
She laughed. “I see your confidence is back.”
/> “It wasn’t really gone. I just wanted to hear you admit you liked something about me.” Ty cut the engine. “Let’s do this.” He got out and before Darla could open her door, there he was being the perfect gentleman.
He helped her out of the car, and she had no choice but to hold on to him as they navigated the icy parking lot. He paused outside the main entrance. “You think people are really going to buy this?”
“Depends how well we sell it.” Something told her Ty would be an incredible salesman.
“Here goes nothing.” He took her hand and led her through the doors. Right away, Darla stopped. It seemed the whole town had crammed into the large room, talking and laughing above the low hum of Christmas carols. Festive plastic tablecloths covered the long tables, which had been set up in rows.
“Wow.” Darla had never seen so many sugar cookies in her entire life. Her teeth hurt just looking at the full platters and cans of frosting and enough different kinds of sprinkles to fill a swimming pool.
“Welcome! I’m so glad you made it!” Ginny Eckles rushed over. She was dressed in red and green from head to toe. “Wait.” She looked at the two of them suspiciously. “Did you two come together?”
Ty slipped his arm smoothly around Darla. “Of course.” He gazed down at her. “We’ve been spending a lot of time together lately. Haven’t we?”
Darla leaned in to him and put on a mysterious smile. “We sure have.”
“Really?” Ginny’s eyes went wide behind her glasses. “So you two are an item now, huh?”
“You could say that.” Ty moved his hand up and down Darla’s arm in an affectionate caress. He was really good at this…
“Oh, how wonderful!” Despite her enthusiasm, Ginny seemed the slightest bit disappointed. She did have a sweet spot for Ty. “And just in time for Christmas too. How long has this been going on?”
“Um, well—”
“Hey, we saved you a seat!” Thankfully, Charity waved them over to a table where their friends had gathered. They were all in on the ruse and had pledged to help them however they could.
“We’d better get over there.” Darla gave Ginny a little wave. “We’ll see you later.” She and Ty hustled away from the potential for any more questions.
“Well if it isn’t the happy couple.” Mateo elbowed Everly and they both grinned.
Darla sent him a warning look. “We are happy.” She looked at Ty for confirmation.
“I’ll be happier once I get my hands on one of those cookies,” he said, eyeing Everly’s professionally decorated Christmas trees.
“We’re not eating them,” her friend informed Ty. “They’re for the auction. To keep people happy during the intermissions.”
“Got it.” Ty shrugged off his coat and rolled up his sleeves. “So what do we do? I’ve never been to a cookie-decorating party before.”
“Pick your cookie and give it your best shot,” Darla told him, taking her place at the table. “Ginny said the ten best cookies will win a prize.” Though it looked like Everly already had that one in the bag.
The contest seemed to appeal to Ty’s competitive side. He took his time picking out a Santa-shaped cookie, while Darla selected a reindeer. They got to work decorating, and Darla was grateful for something else to focus on. She slathered on the brown frosting, detailing a few wisps of white bordering the tail and the ears. All around them, she could feel people watching her and Ty with curiosity—the rest of the Chamber members, some of her regulars at the wine bar.
“What are you, a professional?” Ty demanded when she put the finishing touches on the reindeer. “Are you hoping they’ll put your cookie in a museum or something?”
She looked at his creation and laughed. She couldn’t help it. There were blobs of red and white frosting where Santa’s hat and beard were supposed to be, but the colors had smeared together. And he’d added big chocolate chips for a pair of creepy eyes.
“Are you laughing at mine?” The man asked with mock outrage.
That only made her laugh harder. “Don’t worry,” she managed. “I’m sure they’d love to display that in the kindergarten room.”
Ty gasped as if the insult had shocked him. But he was laughing too. Giving her a mischievous look, he swiped a finger across her perfect reindeer, getting a glob of the frosting on his finger, and then he smeared it over her lips.
“You did not just do that.” She came at him with a spoonful of frosting but he caught her hand and pulled her to him. “I only did it so I could do this.” Lowering his head, he pressed his lips to hers, sealing them in a sweet, sugary kiss.
A fluttering sensation traveled up from Darla’s toes until it engulfed her fully. Ty’s arms came around her, easing her in closer as his lips teased hers. She teetered forward, resting her hands on his chest, letting herself fully embrace the rush it brought. Yes, yes, yes. It made her forget. That physical contact, that explosive desire, made her forget every hurt.
Ty pulled back, his thumb skimming her cheek. “How was that for selling it?” he murmured so only she could hear.
“Very convincing,” she whispered, her lungs still shuddering from the lack of oxygen. It seemed she’d forgotten how to breathe properly. How to think. How to move. Sparks were still zinging around inside of her, and she couldn’t quite get them to shut off. Hence the reason she’d brought Ty home with her more than once. That mouth of his…
“Sorry I messed up your cookie,” the man said, his eyes ridiculously repentant. He reached over to the table and picked up the now-smeared reindeer. “I bet it still tastes good though.” He took a bite and then offered her one.
She could feel everyone in the place staring at them, so Darla bit into the soft sugary frosting too. “Mmmm. Still good,” she agreed.
“Awww.” A few teen girls at the table next to them swooned.
Ty leaned in closer. “How am I doing?”
Darla finished chewing before she answered. “I would say you’re exceeding expectations.” In more ways than one.
* * *
Mission accomplished. Ty put the finishing touches on his Christmas tree cookie and added it to the platter sitting in the middle of the table. Sure, his cookies looked like they’d been frosted by a three-year-old, but over the last hour, he and Darla had managed to become the center of everyone’s attention, and that was the point, right? As far as he could tell, everyone in this place believed they were a couple. And it hadn’t been half bad. Being someone’s boyfriend happened to be a lot more fun than he would’ve guessed.
“What’d you think of my tree cookie?” he asked Darla, waiting for her to look at it and laugh. But she didn’t respond. In fact, she hadn’t seemed to hear him. Her head was bent and her eyes were focused on the table.
Whoa. She didn’t look so good. “Hey.” He scooted closer and put his arm around her. “What’s up?”
“I don’t know. All of a sudden I’m not feeling so hot.” Her face seemed a lot paler than it had been ten minutes ago.
“Is it your cold?” Though he hadn’t noticed her sniffling at all…
She shook her head and wrapped an arm around her middle. “I have to get out of here. Like now.”
“Okay. Sure.” He hopped up from the table and draped her coat over her shoulders. “We’re gonna head out,” he called to their friends. Darla was already making her way slowly to the door.
“Now?” Everly shot him a concerned frown.
“Yeah. I’m gonna take her home. She’s not feeling good.” What had changed? All evening they’d been flirting and laughing…
“You’ll make sure she’s okay?” Everly whispered. “That’s what a boyfriend would do. Take her home and make her feel better.”
“I can do that.” Probably. Maybe. Hell, he’d figure it out. Before anyone could see the doubt on his face, he hurried to catch up with Darla. She leaned in to him as he opened the door for her, and they stepped out into the snowy evening.
“Do you want to get something to eat?” he aske
d, not sure what else to say.
“No. Definitely not.” Darla stopped abruptly and turned away from him, hunching over to throw up into the snow bank that flanked the sidewalk.
Uh-oh. That couldn’t be good. Ty wrapped his arm around her, holding her up. She eased in a few deep breaths and closed her eyes with a groan. “I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry?” He smoothed her hair away from her face. “You’re sick. You don’t have to be sorry.”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel awful.” She swayed, and that was all Ty needed to see. He swept her up into his arms.
“What’re you doing?” she asked, her legs flailing. “No one’s watching us now.”
“I know.” He started across the parking lot, careful not to jostle her. “But you’re not steady on your feet and there’s a lot of ice.”
Surprisingly, Darla didn’t argue or demand he put her down. He carried her all the way to his truck and then helped her climb in. On the drive back to her house, she rested her head against the seatback and closed her eyes. When he parked in her driveway, Ty cut the engine.
Darla raised her head but it seemed she could hardly hold it up. “You don’t have to walk me in.” She suddenly seemed weak and tired.
“Sure I do. I don’t want you to slip on the ice.” He got out of the truck and opened her door to help her climb out.
A Cowboy for Christmas Page 6
