“Sebastian…” I moaned and then my hips began to move in a steady motion.
“What, baby?”
“What are you doing to me?”
My breathing was hard, my hips moved faster as I built my release.
He chuckled. “It’s all you, baby.”
I gripped the edge of the table as I felt my orgasm take over my body. Shots were loud all around me masking my loud moans. Coming back to myself, I realized what I’d just done. I never thought I’d allow myself around a gun again, much less be given an orgasm by one.
Lifting the gun, he placed the clip in the bottom with a click and laid it back down.
“That was fucking hot, Jessica.”
I looked up at him through my lashes and laughed. “That was… different.”
“Ready to shoot now?”
A cold dose of fear laced my veins and I bit my lips, but nodded.
“Good.”
Reaching beneath the counter, Sebastian pulled out a pair of ear muffs and placed them on my head. Once he placed the ear protection muffs on me, the sounds weren’t so bad. But I could still feel their vibrations all around me every time a shot went off.
Leaning in, he pulled at the muffs uncovering my ear enough so I could hear him when he spoke.
Turning me around, his lips brushed the side of my face. “I’m going to shoot a few rounds and show you how to stand, and then you can shoot. Okay?”
With wide eyes I nodded my understanding. I was perfectly fine sitting tucked away in a corner, with my sound proof ear muffs.
I moved out of his way and he pulled out an even bigger black gun. He pressed a button and a paper with a man lined in black appeared in the distance.
Sebastian stood tall and straight, with his legs rooted firmly to the ground. Then he aimed his gun with his right hand, using his left to hold it steady. His hands kicked up every time he pulled the trigger, and I could hear the muffled sound of his shots.
Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang.
My heart was racing and if I pressed myself against the wall any harder, I would have been in the space next to us. As scared as I was, I couldn’t help but take in his extraordinary form. His strong back—his lean arms. He wasn’t in a suit, and had opted for a nice pair of thigh-hugging jeans and a loose shirt.
The platinum watch on his wrist shook with his shots, making my eyes move down his arms, to his broad shoulders. Everything about Sebastian was big and strong. It was then I realized, I really did feel safe with him. Whether he was in love or not, he was a good man who would never let anything bad happen to me or Kyle.
When he was done, he turned and faced me.
“Your turn,” he mouthed.
I stepped up to him on shaky legs and when he held out the small pink gun, my fingers trembled around the coldness of it. I closed my eyes and adjusted it in my hand the way you should.
Sebastian pushed the button on the side wall, switching out the paper for a fresh one. Then he stood behind me, so close I could feel his heartbeat against my shoulder.
“Okay. Right before you’re going to shoot, you’ll want to take the safety off, here.” He clicked a small button on the right side of my gun. “Then, open your legs a little and hold the gun straight.” He ran his hands down my arms holding them out straight and helping me aim the gun. “There’s going to be kickback when you pull the trigger, but nothing you can’t handle. This gun is yours, which means it’s perfect for you.”
I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves before I set my finger on the trigger.
“When you shoot, imagine the person who made you afraid of guns is standing in front of that paper. Aim for their head.”
I closed my eyes and the vision of the man came to me instantly. I couldn’t see his face clearly, but I remembered his outline.
Opening my eyes, I aimed the gun and pulled the trigger. It felt good, so I pulled it again and again, until finally the gun was empty and the power of the bullet leaving the gun stopped pressing against my palm.
I stood there, with an empty clip, staring at the paper full of holes. I lowered my arms, but didn’t let go of the gun. My body was shaking, but I wasn’t entirely sure it was all from fear. Adrenaline was running wild through my system and I had to take a few deep breaths to contain myself.
My eyes dropped to my hands and the death grip on the gun between them. I never expected to feel so much power, so much courage, knowing I could protect myself and Kyle if anything bad every happened again.
It was exhilarating, and I was suddenly happy Sebastian had brought me here. He pushed me to better myself.
Putting the gun down, I turned around and threw my arms around his neck. Using my strength, I pulled myself up so we were face to face and my mouth found his.
I was fierce and hungry as my tongue pushed past his lips, pushing deeper into his mouth. He wasn’t surprised by my reaction and he met my response with everything he had. Lifting my hips, I wrapped my legs around his waist and he turned, slamming us into the wall.
In one swift motion, he ripped my panties from my body and his pants were down around his ankles. He didn’t waste any time as he thrust deep inside of me. He was right; it was so fucking worth it.
Slowly, and without him realizing it, Sebastian was changing my life.
Twenty-Two
Rosslyn
An hour later, we were sitting in the back booth at the Pit Stop, the burger joint where we’d been held up outside. Leave it to Sebastian to take me back to the place where a bad memory existed. Except, I was glad he did. Their burgers were delicious and I felt stronger now that I knew how to protect myself.
I’d done it. I’d shot a gun, and I was good at it. When Sebastian showed me my paper full of holes, there were nine holes it. Not bad for a first timer.
“You did well,” Sebastian stated.
“Thank you.”
“I’m serious, Jessica. I’m proud of you. It takes a lot of guts to face a fear head on the way you did,” he said, swirling his fry in a pile of ketchup.
“You know, I’m proud of me, too. I never thought I’d be able to touch a gun, much less shoot one. Thank you for taking me.”
Something flashed in his eyes, resembling pleasure, although I wasn’t positive because the only time I’d seen him look that way was when he was inside me.
“It was nothing. Plus, I enjoyed it. You looked fucking hot shooting that gun. I enjoyed fucking you in the middle of the shooting range.”
I stopped before taking a bite of my burger and smiled at him.
“Do you ever think about anything besides sex?” I laughed.
A beautiful, real smile stretched his lips and he shook his head, “Not when I’m with you.”
The next twenty minutes, I tried to eat while Sebastian found any way he could to touch me. Finally, he stood and slid into the booth next to me—his side warming mine.
Picking up one of my fries, he dipped it in the ketchup and held it up to me to take a bite.
I licked a drip of ketchup from the fry before taking a bite.
“You keep that shit up and I’ll take you to the little bathroom in the back of this shit-hole for more.”
“Sure you will,” I teased.
“Don’t bullshit, sweetheart. I can see it in your eyes, you’re turned on. I bet you’re already soaked for me.” He leaned in, touching between my legs as he kissed me underneath my ear. “I’ll tell you what, why don’t you go to the ladies’ room, put an extra layer of toilet paper in your panties, and come back here so I can take you home.”
His words brushed my ear and made me shiver.
I ran my finger down the front of my shirt, before covering his hand and pressing it deeper into my jeans. I looked up at him and licked my lips. I knew what I was doing, and I knew it was working by the look in his eyes.
“What if I don’t want to wait?”
His pupils dilated and he clenched his jaw. “You’re playing with fire. If you’re not careful, you’ll get
burnt.”
I pressed his hand harder against me and a tiny moan escaped my throat.
“Fuck it. Come with me,” he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me from the booth.
I held his hand as he dragged me to the back of the restaurant and then pulled me into the only bathroom in the place. It was small, almost too small for the two of us, and not completely clean. The toilet was tilted to the side and the sink looked like someone had colored it with a gray crayon on the inside, but it would have to do for a quickie.
“Remember, you asked for this,” he said, locking the door behind us and stalking toward me.
He turned me and bent me over the small counter. Wasting no time, he went to work unbuttoning my jeans and pulling them down enough to expose little more than my ass.
“I can’t open my legs this way.” I said, pressing my bare bottom into him.
I heard his zipper come down and saw him lick his fingers, bringing them down to my wet opening. Then I felt the tip of his arousal pushing in.
“Good. It’ll feel better for both of us.”
He slid deep into me, pressing me harder against the counter. He felt bigger—filling me completely and rubbing my inner walls in a way that made me close my eyes in pleasure.
He moved fast and hard, without mercy, tugging on my hair to make me look up. His other hand grabbed my chin, forcing me to look into the mirror in front of us.
“I want you to watch while I fuck you.”
I looked in the mirror and he glared back at me as he thrust his body into mine. The counter shook and a few times I was sure I heard someone knocking at the door, but I didn’t care. All I cared about was the feeling moving through me as Sebastian took over my body.
He tugged my hair harder, making me call out and I met his dark, cocky smirk in the mirror. He was loving it as much as I was.
“Remember how much I adore that mouth of yours? I think I want to come in it this time,” he stated.
Still, he continued to hammer me, balls slapping against slick, sweaty skin.
Pleasurable pain clouded my eyes, making my brows turn in as the ache where his body connected with mine spread into my thighs. The sounds of our bodies coming together echoed in the tile-filled bathroom and a bottle of hand soap went crashing to the floor.
The customers could hear us, I was sure of it. But, Sebastian continued. Looping his arms underneath mine, he latched on to my shoulders, leaning over me and working his hips faster than I knew possible. That’s when I crashed.
Loud screams fell from my mouth, forcing Sebastian to cover it with his palm. I cried into his hand, before I bit its salty flesh. He cursed loudly, letting me know he was enjoying the sex as much as I was.
Finally he pulled out and turned me abruptly.
“Get on your fucking knees,” he growled.
I dropped to my knees the best I could with my jeans around my thighs and as soon as I opened my mouth, the head of his penis pushed past my lips. I moved my tongue over him, tasting myself on his skin, sucking him deeper into my mouth. I had no idea what I was doing, but it didn’t matter.
Sebastian threw his head back and pressed my mouth onto him harder as he exploded on the back of my tongue. Thick and hot, his come spewed all over, coating my mouth and throat with his personal flavor.
Sebastian was quiet in the car as he drove me back to my condo. I think he was realizing things were changing between us. Not good or bad, just different. We’d been spending so much time together, and that made me happy because I knew as long as he was with me, he wasn’t with another girl.
I was done denying the fact I wanted Sebastian to myself. I tried not to think about what he did when he wasn’t with me, and it was hard, but it was a part of the deal. I couldn’t go changing things now. It was too late for that.
When we got to my building, he walked me inside and followed me into the elevator. Once he inserted his card and pressed the button for the top floor, he turned to me and pulled me to him.
“I’m angry with you,” he stated.
His hands moved down my back and cupped my ass. He bit his lip as he stared at my chest.
“Well, I’m angry with you,” I countered.
He smirked and chuckled. “What the hell did I do ?” he asked. “Besides fuck you senseless for an entire restaurant to hear?”
His smirk turned into another genuine smile. I loved his smile, but I’d never mention it for fear he’d never smile at me again.
“Oh, whatever. It wasn’t that great,” I joked and rolled my eyes.
His head fell back and he laughed. It was a deep hearty laugh that shook his chest.
“Is that so?” He reached up and fingered a strand of my hair. “I guess maybe I should give it another try then. I did promise only the best, didn’t I?”
“Yep, you sure did.” My smile hurt my face it was so big.
And then, just as quickly as it came, his happy expression cleared and he peered down at me in all seriousness.
“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” he said with his jaw muscles visibly clenching.
I didn’t know how to reply. I was frightened I might turn him away somehow.
We stared at each other, until he moved quickly, smashing his mouth to mine and kissing me so hard it hurt.
I wasn’t the same girl I was when we first met and so I didn’t pull back. Instead, I kissed him just as hard, tugging at the back of his head and digging my nails into his shoulder to hold him closer.
We were still kissing like a couple of teenagers when the elevator opened to my place. He didn’t let me go; instead he lifted me and slammed me against the wall opposite of the open elevator.
I’d expected that once we got to my floor, he would say goodbye and leave for the night, like usual. What I didn’t expect was for him to stay with me and spend the night, giving me the best he’d promised from the beginning.
I woke in the middle of the night to Sebastian whining in his sleep as if he was in pain. The sheet clung to his wet, naked skin and his expression was full of agony.
He tossed and turned, trying to get away from something and I knew he was having a nightmare.
“Sebastian,” I shook him.
Still he breathed hard and pulled at the sheet.
“Sebastian, wake up. You’re having a nightmare,” I said, shoving at his side and trying my hardest to wake him.
A howl exploded from his lips and he cried loudly with closed eyes. I didn’t know what to do. This was Sebastian—cold, fearless Sebastian, and yet he was squirming around in my bed and practically bawling.
Laying my palm against his sweaty cheek, I tried once more to wake him.
“Sebastian, you have to wake up.”
His eyes flew open and things moved quickly has he pushed me off of him and climbed on top of me.
“Murderer!” his voice cracked.
Thick fingers wrapped around my neck and squeezed.
I beat at his arms as my throat closed up and my ability to breathe was cut off.
“Sebastian,” I croaked.
The sounds of my choking filled the room and my life flashed before my eyes. And then, as quickly as it started, his hold loosened and his angry expression cleared. He’d woken up and realized what he was doing.
Jumping away from me, his back slammed into the wall next to my bed. I sat up, coughing and trying to catch the breath that still didn’t want to fill my lungs. When the black dots cleared my vision, I was able to reach out and turn on the lamp next to my bed. I could see Sebastian pressed tightly against the wall, staring at me—a look of absolute fear traced his dark features.
“I’m so… I can’t believe,” he whispered, his voice rough with sleep. “I don’t know what… I… Are you okay?” he asked.
I wrapped my fingers around my aching throat and nodded my answer. I wasn’t technically okay, but I could see by the devastated look on his face that he needed to know I was.
He crawled beside me and moved my hands from my ne
ck to inspect it. I could feel the bruising and the ridges and welts from his fingers. By the look on his face, he could see them, too.
With a soft touch, he ran his fingers over my neck and shook his head with sadness in his eyes.
“I’ve never hurt a woman before. I know I’m rough in bed, but you have to believe I’d never…”
I stopped him. “I know. I believe you.” I took his hand in mine and held it close to my chest. “What was your nightmare about?” I asked.
Looking down, his agonizing expression cleared and the old Sebastian slipped into his place. “It’s nothing. I really am sorry I did that to you.”
Apologizing had to sting, and I appreciated him for it. Sebastian never apologized, and for him to do so, meant he was really and honestly sorry.
“Lay back down and get some sleep. I’ll stay until you do, but I have to get to the club and help close things up.”
I didn’t push. I’d dig deeper into all things Sebastian the next chance I got, but until then, I’d lay beside him and enjoy the moment of sweetness he was offering. His arms closed around me, pulling me into his chest and making me feel safe again, and then he rested his chin on my head. Within a matter of minutes, I fell back to sleep.
The next morning, even though he’d said he was leaving, I woke with Sebastian watching me. With his head resting on his hand, he was drawing little patterns on my shoulder with the tip of his finger.
“I don’t apologize often, but let me say it again. I’m sorry, Jessica. So sorry.”
I nodded. I barely even noticed the name Jessica anymore. I was used to it, which wasn’t necessarily a good thing.
“I forgive you.”
And I did. I’d known Sebastian for a while and never once did I get the impression that he was someone who beat women. What was becoming obvious was he had some deep set problems—deeper than I’d initially thought.
Leaning up and hovering over me, he looked down at me with a soft expression.
“How can I feel this way about a woman if I don’t even know her name?” His fingers sifted through my hair and down the side of my face.
Little Black Book Page 16
