by Nicole Dykes
I slip the t-shirt on over my head, quickly and don’t invite her in or answer her question. “Talk about what, Miranda? I thought I made it pretty damn clear. I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Fine. You don’t want to talk to me, but sometimes it isn’t about you. I really miss you, Hunter. I think about you all of the time. Can you honestly say you don’t miss me one bit?”
I nod my head angrily. “Yes, Miranda. I can say that. You need to go. I can’t believe you drove all the way here from Oklahoma. What the hell were you thinking?”
She drops her hand from her hip and stares at me like I’m total stranger. Good that’s what I am to her now. I’m tired of the familiarity bullshit she’s pulled. “I was thinking that maybe if I showed up here you would finally give me the time of day. Of course, I’ve been wrong before. At that party where you fucked me and then just ran off I really thought that if I gave you my body you would care enough to hear me out.”
I visibly flinch at that memory. I was a total asshole that night. I sigh and run my hand through my short hair, messed up from Cassie’s fingers running through it and pulling on it in bed earlier. “Fuck. Look, I am sorry about that, but I’m just not interested in hearing how sorry you are. Or how lonely you were when I left so you just had to jump into bed with my best friend.”
“Well again, maybe it isn’t just about you.”
I hear the floor creak in the hallway and turn to see Cassie walking cautiously into the living room. “Is everything okay?”
I smile over at her trying to reassure and gesture for her to come to me, which she does. I wrap my arm around her. “Everything is fine.”
“Aren’t you going to introduce me, Hunter?” I turn to glare at Miranda who is wearing a sweet as sugar, fake smile.
“This is my girlfriend, Cassie.” I turn to Cass. “This is Miranda and she was just leaving.”
I see the shock register on Cassie’s pretty face as she turns to Miranda, not sure what to say.
Unfortunately, Miranda isn’t short on words. “Wow. So, this is the girl you replaced me with?”
I roll my eyes, “You should go.”
“No way, Hunt. I’m staying until you talk to me. At the very least you owe me some damn closure.”
I see Cassie studying the whole situation, going over it in her head. She pulls my arm and turns me to her, “You should talk to her.”
I back her away from the door and lower my voice. I place my hands on both of her small shoulders, “I don’t want or need to talk to her, Cassie. I don’t know why she needs closure, it’s been two years. It’s closed.”
She smiles and places her hand on one of mine, “Maybe it’s not totally closed.”
I shake my head emphatically, “I swear to you, it is. I want nothing to do with her.”
I say that last part a little louder and hear Miranda scoff. Cassie just ignores it, “I know that you don’t want her anymore, Hunter. There is still pain there though, trust me. You should talk to her and really air it all out so that you can fully move on.” Her hand moves up to my jaw, “You deserve that.”
I shake my head at her again, but she just kisses my cheek. “I’m going back to my dorm. I should really check in with Dani anyway.”
“You really don’t need to leave.” I argue.
She just gives me a sweet smile, “I trust you, one hundred percent. Just finish this and then come to my dorm.”
“It won’t be long.”
She nods and then slips past Miranda who is still standing outside. I watch as Cassie walks to her car and drives off and then I turn back to Miranda. “I’ll give you five minutes.”
She rolls her eyes and brushes past me and into my house, taking a seat on the couch. I stand at the door for a moment. I could just leave her here and hop into my truck. I groan and close the door walking over and sitting in the chair in the living room, not saying a word.
After a moment of silence I give in, “Okay, talk if you want to talk.”
She glares over at me, “You were my best friend. You were my everything. I loved you with all I had.”
I try not to scoff, but it comes out. “Everything? Miranda…”
She holds up her hand shushing me, “I know. I cheated on you and I’m so sorry. It hurt you and it was awful and I regret it every day, but you have to take some responsibility for it.”
I look at her totally lost, “What the hell do you mean?”
“You left!”
I stand up, pacing the floor, “I left town, not you. I went to college. Shit Miranda, I was making a future for us.”
Maybe Cassie is right, I still have pain from all of this. I have just ignored it and tried to stay numb to it. “No, you left me. You could have had just as bright of a future in Oklahoma, but you had to leave. You left me and T.J. behind.”
“Bullshit. I was faithful to you. I called you as much as I could. Hell, I made two trips down there for you.”
“Oh wow, I got to see the love of my life two whole times that year.”
I sit back down in my seat, my legs stretched out in front of me. I try to stay calm. “Don’t call me that.”
Her hard expression softens, “You are. Hunter when we met… you became everything to me. I was going down a horrible path, going out and drinking all of the time. I was leaving with that guy willingly.”
“You could barely stand up. I wouldn’t call that willingly.” I hate defending her, but there was no way whatever that guy had planned that night would have been consensual.
“I wanted to get that drunk that night. I wanted to escape. Then there you were, out of nowhere. Hunter Thompson, football God. The guy every girl at our school wanted and you saved me.”
I run my hand over my face, frustrated with the trip down memory lane. “What’s your point?”
She looks like she’s holding back tears. “You know what an asshole my dad was. I needed something and then you came along and you showed me I was worth something.”
Her dad makes mine look like a saint. As far as I know he never laid a hand on her, but the things he said to her growing up I wouldn’t wish on anyone. He definitely did a lot of damage and made her feel like nothing. No one in school knew. On the outside Miranda looked like a put together, peppy teenager. That night we officially met was the night I saw the deep sadness inside her for the first time.
“Miranda, you aren’t worthless. You do matter, but I can’t be in your life anymore. I’m happy. Happier than I’ve ever been. I’ve moved on and you should too.”
She shakes her head, letting a couple of genuine tears fall. “It was you, me, and T.J. The asshole dad’s club, totally inseparable. Then all of the sudden you decided that you were leaving us. It shouldn’t have happened, finding comfort in T.J. I know that, but when you left I tried really hard to convince myself that it would only be four years and that was nothing. T.J. was in pain too, losing his best friend. It’s like we were grieving a loss and we just found solace in each other.”
My jaw ticks and she moves to the edge of the couch, closest to my chair and continues, “You see that reaction you have. That’s passion. You still feel it for me, Hunter. I know you do.”
I stand up, frustrated by all of this and all I want is Cassie. “No, it’s not.” She stands up also and places her hand on my chest and I quickly remove it, taking a step back. “What I feel for Cassie, that’s passion. That’s love.”
She wipes a tear that just rolled down her check, “That girl. Please. You guys can’t last, Hunter. She doesn’t know you like I do. You don’t have history.”
I actually don’t want to hurt Miranda. Not anymore. Huh, maybe this is closure. “She knows me better than anyone, Miranda. The thing with her is she isn’t looking to be rescued. She doesn’t need a knight to come out of nowhere and save her. Cassie has been through hell already, but she helped herself.”
She scoffs, but is still clearly saddened by this conversation. “What the hell has that princess been through?”
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I’m not going to tell her anything about Cassie’s life. “Just trust me, she’s been through it and came back a hell of a lot stronger. I think where you and I went wrong is you wanted me to save you and I wanted to. I liked being that for you, but that’s not real. It was all one sided and we should have been able to survive living five hours away.”
“We hadn’t been apart for two years. Anyone would be shocked.”
I try to give her a comforting smile, because I really am over this and I want her to move on too. “Shocked fine. Sleeping with someone else in the first six months. Not a great sign. It was hell for me too. I didn’t want to be away from you.” That may be sugar coating it for her a little. I did miss her, but it was also nice to get a break from the drama. Everything was a crisis with Miranda and I mean even the smallest thing.
“I’m sorry.”
I nod, “I know. I’m sorry too. It’s over though and believe me when I say this, I think it was all for the best. You need to find the right person for you. Not someone to save you, but someone that you can be there for and that will be there for you also. Find someone who makes you happy.”
She’s full on crying now and I do hate to see it. “You really are in love with her?”
I nod my head instantly with a smile on my face I couldn’t stop if I tried. “I’m going to spend the rest of my life with her. No doubt.”
I mean that, whole heartedly. I will be will Cassie Monroe no matter what life throws our way and with us I know that’s not just one sided.
Chapter 43
Cassie
I sit on my bed flicking through my Facebook app when I hear Dani’s key in the lock. She walks in with her bags from winter break and drops them by her bed. “Hey bitch! Good to see ya again!”
I drop my phone next to me on the bed, smiling happily over at her. “Good to see you too! It hasn’t been that long, though.”
I’ve only been back in Manhattan for a couple of days, although I didn’t see her much when we were back home either. She went on a girl trip with her mother for a lot of the break.
She sits on her bed, “So where’s your boy? I figured you guys would be sucking face until tomorrow.”
I shrug, “Well I just left his place.”
She eyes me suspiciously, “Uh huh, why?”
She knows me too well. “Okay, don’t freak out, but Miranda showed up today.”
She jumps up off the bed. “What the hell, Cassie? And you just left Hunter there with that bitch? Cassie, you never, ever leave your guy with another girl, especially a whore like Miranda!”
I shake my head at her, “Man if your fellow feminists could hear you now.”
She laughs and sits back down, but she is leaning forward in a defensive pose. Ready to jump back up at any moment. “You’re my best friend, that trumps feminism.”
I shake my head, “I appreciate it, but I trust Hunter. He’s not going to do anything with her and they need to talk.”
“Why the fuck do they need to talk?”
“He needs closure. Just trust me, I know what I’m doing.”
She huffs and then stands up walking over to the mirror. She plays with her hair and applies some light make up. “Fine. I trust you. Are they at his house?”
I nod my head. That was too easy. “Yeah,” I say it cautiously, eyeing her from across the room.
“Okay, cool. Well I will see you later, Cass.”
“Where are you going?”
She shrugs, mysteriously. “Out.”
I stand up and walk over toward her, “With who?” She’s acting strange and making me feel like an overprotective parent.
She sighs, “I’m going over to see Cam okay.”
I gape at her, “You’re kidding? You’re sleeping with Cam?”
She rolls her eyes at me, “Cassie, I’m a big girl and I can do whatever I please and we won’t be doing any sleeping.”
“Dani, he loves Vanessa.”
I’m not trying to hurt her, but actually trying to prevent her from getting hurt instead. She turns to me, “I know and I don’t love him. He’s just really fucking great in bed. Seriously Cass. So good.”
I can’t believe she’s sleeping with Cam. “How long has this been going on?”
She shrugs, “It’s a casual thing. It’s only happened a couple of times since that night at their house and I don’t know, I just like hanging out with him. It’s not a big deal.”
I don’t believe her, but she’s right. She can do whatever she wants. I’m not her mom. “Okay, just please be careful.”
She smiles and hugs me, “I’ll see ya later and if that Miranda bitch is still there, I’ll kick her ass for ya.”
“No, don’t touch her.”
She just laughs and leaves our room. Part of me kind of wants to see that, I’m not going to lie. The way Miranda stood there so smug kind of made me want to beat the hell out of her, but I left her there with Hunter more for his sake than hers.
There is no doubt in my mind that my boyfriend can be trusted even if she can’t be.
I stare at my phone hoping Hunter will at least call soon.
I don’t have to wait long because there is a knock at the door and I stand up, opening it to see Hunter. He’s run a comb through his hair, but still has on the same outfit from earlier and he looks worn out.
“Hi.” He wraps me in his arms and I relish in the strong embrace, taking in his scent and loving the way he holds me.
His arms slowly leave my waist and I lead him over to sit next to me on my bed. I smile thinking about how only a few months ago, he insisted on sitting in my desk chair like a total gentlemen. Now his arm is draped casually behind my back and my head lies on his shoulder. Totally prefer this.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask.
“You were right. I needed that. I wasn’t as over it all as I had thought I was and although what they did was totally wrong, I kind of understand it more now.”
I turn to look into his beautiful eyes, “Really?”
He nods, “Yeah. We were all pretty tight in high school. Kind of our own little family. We always joked about being in the asshole dad’s club. T.J.’s was never really in the picture, Miranda’s was a prick, and well you know mine.”
I nod listening to him talk, letting him tell me as much or as little as he needs to.
“Anyway, when I got that opportunity to get the hell out of Oklahoma, I took it. I thought about it first of course, but I knew from the day I got the offer I was going to take it. I justified it by saying it was only five hours away, but it was selfish on my part.”
I shake my head, “You were eighteen, you had every right to live your own life too.”
He smiles at me. “I don’t mean I regret it, not even a little bit, but I knew in a way that I was giving something up.”
“So how did you leave things?”
“I forgave her, we both apologized and I told her I want her to move on. That we can’t be friends or anything else.”
I’m happy about that. Not that I would ever tell him who he can and can’t be friends with, but I can’t imagine being okay with him being friends with Miranda. I saw it in her eyes, she’s still in love with him. The only thing that really matters to me though is it isn’t reciprocated. Who wouldn’t love Hunter?
He pulls me in tighter and asks, “How did you know I needed that?”
“I went to grief counseling after my parents died.” Even mentioning their deaths makes my eyes well up with tears and I feel comforted when Hunter kisses my temple. “I just thought you needed to some closure. It was obvious you were still in the anger part of grieving.”
I turn my body so I’m looking at him dead on. “They didn’t die.”
“No, but it’s still a loss. They hurt you badly and like you said they were like your family. Trust me, I spent a lot of time with that counselor learning about all of the different types and stages of grief. I just had a hunch.”
He nods, “You were ri
ght. I thought I was over it, but I was still pretty pissed off. You are pretty smart you know that?”
I laugh, “I’m glad it helped. After everything with Brent this year, I’ve never felt better. I finally have closure and don’t care if I ever see him again. I’m not angry though, when I look back I just see that it’s his loss. I would’ve been a great girlfriend for him, but he blew it and I’m glad he did. I owe that to you.”
He shakes his head at me, almost sternly. “I’m glad he messed it up too, but you figured that out before you and I were even together. Don’t sell yourself short, Cassie.”
I kiss him and then pull back a bit to look at him, “Yeah right before. You make me stronger.”
“You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, Cassie. You make me a better man whether you know it or not.”
“I’ve never had anyone say that to me before.”
“What?”
“That I’m strong. It’s always, ‘Cassie, you are smarter than this.’” I mock the adults in my life and he just grins over at me.
“You are strong,” He kisses me again before trailing small kisses down my neck and leaning over me on my bed, “and smart, and sexy.”
I giggle and wrap my arms around his neck, “I love you, Hunter.”
“I love you too, Cassie.”
It’s amazing how I believe every word out of his mouth. I believe I am all of those things and more.
Chapter 44
Cassie
A little over a month later…
It’s a really nice day for February in Kansas. I don’t even need a jacket, the long-sleeved tee I have on is more than sufficient. I bounce out of my last class for the day, ready to go and see Hunter when I get a huge surprise as I see him running up to me.
He doesn’t look happy though and my belly is full of dread, “Hunter? What are you doing here?”
He looks distraught. I’ve never seen him look like this before and I can feel my hands shaking when he asks, “Did Luke get ahold of you?”
I shake my head in slow motion, “What’s wrong?”
He looks around and points to one of the black metal benches near us. “Let’s sit down.”
